Chapter Nine
chapter NINE
B eau didn’t particularly want to go into the specifics of the clusterfuck of a date he’d had, but he liked that Ethan was asking questions. For now, it looked as though the guy had dropped all of that tough exterior. Then again, he was halfway through his second beer and who knew how many he’d had at Moonshiners. Ethan’s inquisition might be based purely on liquid courage, but Beau considered it progress regardless.
“We met for dinner. At first, it was nice. Normal. We have a lot in common from a work perspective, so we didn’t lack for anything to talk about.” Beau remembered the instant that night had taken a downturn. “We were halfway through the meal when Joe mentioned sleeping together.”
Ethan’s eyebrow cocked in that sexy way that Beau liked. He was obviously interested in the story. “Were you planning to sleep with him?”
Beau laughed, glancing back out the front window as his face heated with embarrassment. He had never been the type to openly talk about sex—at least not when he wasn’t having it. “No. I hadn’t considered it at that point.” Glancing back at Ethan, Beau noticed the skeptical look. “What?”
“You went on a date but hadn’t considered sleeping with the guy?”
“First date,” Beau reminded him, as though that should explain everything.
“Go on.”
“So, halfway through dinner, Joe started talking about sex. He wanted to know whether I was a top or a bottom.”
“Clearly a top,” Ethan murmured, his eyes opening substantially as though he didn’t mean to say the words.
“And you would know this how?”
Ethan laughed, the sound making Beau’s entire body hum to life. He loved the sound of Ethan’s laugh. Maybe because it was so rare, but the few times he’d heard it over the years, Beau had always noted it.
“You’re not a top?”
“I don’t have a preference,” Beau said honestly. Considering he’d never been a top and had only been with one man—a man who clearly wasn’t gay—Beau didn’t know which he would enjoy more. “Anyway... ,” he continued with a smile, “Joe was convinced that I couldn’t be the top because there was no way I’d fit.”
Ethan laughed again, the warm, rich sound filling the truck and eliminating every ounce of tension that had been there since he put the truck in Park.
“That’s what he wanted to talk about? Over dinner?”
“Yup,” Beau responded, laughing. “Needless to say, if that’s what you’re supposed to do on a date, I think I’m going to need some time to adjust before I do it again.”
Neither of them said anything for a minute or two, and when Ethan grabbed a third beer, Beau shifted again to face him more fully. “What about you? What was your first date like?”
Beau didn’t think Ethan was going to answer when he focused his attention on draining the beer bottle in his hand, but he waited him out. He was nothing if not patient. After all, he’d spent his entire life tagging along with Zane, the guy who had the attention span of a gnat, and Beau had learned to sit back and wait because likely things would change in an instant with him.
“I don’t date.”
Beau found that hard to believe. Sure, he got that Ethan didn’t intentionally form relationships, but the guy was unquestionably monogamous. Over the years, there hadn’t been many that Beau had noticed, but Ethan had lovers. Admitting it or not, it didn’t change the fact that he got close to people.
“How’d you meet Blake?” Beau knew Blake wasn’t from Coyote Ridge.
“By accident.”
Beau wasn’t impressed with Ethan’s half-assed response, and considering he had opened up, he was going to insist Ethan do the same.
“Work?”
“You could say that.”
Being that Blake was a mechanic, it was logical that Ethan met him that way. Beau didn’t honestly care about the logistics. The less Blake interfered in their day-to-day, the better off Beau would be. And that included in conversation.
“Mind if I ask you something personal?” Beau figured he would warn Ethan before he asked his next question. It didn’t matter what Ethan said, he was still going to ask it.
Ethan glanced over, a sexy grin on his lips. “If I say no, you’re gonna ask anyway, aren’t you?”
“Yup,” he said easily and paused only briefly. “When did you realize you were gay?” He knew the question was personal, but Beau didn’t have anyone to talk to about his thoughts and fears. He didn’t think Zane would understand, and he knew without a doubt that Zane was uncomfortable with the situation as a whole. Or maybe he wasn’t, and Beau was. Either way, Ethan seemed like the ideal person to ask.
“I think I’ve always known,” Ethan said solemnly, his tone low and serious, his attention focused on the blackness just outside the truck window.
“Have you been with a woman?”
Ethan didn’t look at him when he said, “No.”
Beau hadn’t thought he had, but he was curious.
Not wanting to push too far, he let the subject drop, figuring they could pick that conversation up at a later date.
Still staring at Ethan, Beau had the sudden longing to get closer to him.
And he was fucking tired of waiting.
ETHAN FELT THE moment the energy in the truck morphed into something combustible. He had answered Beau’s questions, maybe not in depth, but he had to give himself a pat on the back for at least answering.
But now, from what Ethan sensed in the air between them, Beau was tired of talking. Finally. He knew it wouldn’t take long for Beau to come around. Sex was something Ethan understood. Even if he didn’t want to get involved with Beau on the level he knew Beau was looking for, he didn’t have it in him to deny the intense attraction between them.
When Beau moved, setting the last three bottles in the six-pack onto the floor and lifting the center console up so that there was adequate space between them, Ethan’s stomach took a dive. His anxiety level had skyrocketed in recent seconds, rapidly increasing with every breath he took.
Beau didn’t waste any time, moving closer as they stared at one another. “See, this,” Ethan said, gesturing between them, “this I can handle.”
“We’ll see about that,” Beau said daringly, his brusque remark making Ethan’s body temperature spike.
Before he could disagree, or come to his senses, Beau was leaning closer, his lips hovering just millimeters from his. God, he smelled delicious. Spicy, rich, sexy.
“Fucking hell,” Beau muttered, and then their mouths were on one another, Ethan’s hands coming up to grip his head, hold him closer.
Their tongues dueled, and the memory of Christmas when Beau had kissed him flooded his mind and his body. He wanted this man. He wanted him with everything in him, consequences be damned.
Fuck .
Pulling Beau closer, Ethan slid his fingers into the soft, silky hair at his nape, his body warring with sensation after sensation. The warmth of Beau’s mouth, the insistence of his tongue, the sweet sound of his labored breaths. The man was sex personified, and Ethan was starved for him.
“You taste good,” Beau mumbled, his lips pulling back slightly, but not far enough that Ethan had to let go of him.
“No more talking,” Ethan said, pulling him in until their lips were locked and their tongues danced against one another.
It was just too damned bad they were confined in the small truck cab. Considering their heights, it wasn’t physically possible for them to get any closer than they were, but Ethan wished they were skin to skin. Sliding one hand down Beau’s shoulder, then over his chest, he tugged his T-shirt out from his jeans until he could touch his bare skin.
The second his fingers made contact with the taut, fiery flesh, Beau’s breath hitched in his chest. God, Ethan wanted to run his mouth over him, to taste his skin, outline the angles of his muscles with his tongue.
Beau groaned, and Ethan grinned.
“Think about what it would be like if I had you naked,” Ethan mumbled against Beau’s mouth.
“I’m not sure I’d survive it.”
And wasn’t that the damned truth.
Gripping Beau’s head more firmly, Ethan deepened the kiss, licking into his mouth, searching, seeking, devouring. His kiss was like a drug, instantly giving him a high unlike anything he had known before.
And to think, Beau hadn’t even touched him yet.
Running his hand around to Beau’s back, he flattened his palm over smooth, warm skin, up and down, back and forth, unable to get enough of touching him. The way his muscles flexed and bunched beneath his fingers was so fucking hot.
Ethan just wanted to be laid out beneath him, to have Beau’s glorious weight hovering above him, skin to skin, chest to chest. He wanted to tangle his legs with Beau’s and hold him to him.
But none of that could happen where they were, and they both knew it. Unfortunately, it appeared Beau had more self-control than Ethan did because his hands weren’t reaching for him.
“Touch me,” Ethan pleaded, not giving a shit if he had reached the point of begging.
“I can’t,” Beau whispered, pulling back slightly.
Ethan’s hands stilled as he stared back at Beau. What the fuck did he mean he couldn’t?
“If I touch you, I won’t be able to stop,” Beau explained, obviously aware of Ethan’s immediate moment of panic. “And when I get my hands on you for the first time, I don’t plan to rush things.”
He wanted to argue, to tell Beau that there wouldn’t be another opportunity, but he knew as well as Beau that that would be a lie. There would be another time. He couldn’t resist Beau, even though every red flag in his brain was at full mast, signaling for him to take caution.
“And when do you plan to do this?” Ethan asked, trying to calm himself down.
“Soon,” Beau said, pressing his lips to Ethan’s softly. “Very soon.”
Ethan studied him for a moment. “But not tonight?”
“No. Not tonight.”
Ethan hated how much control Beau had and how little he himself was apparently showing. He was supposed to be pushing Beau away, making sure that great divide remained between them because Ethan knew he would never survive with a guy like Beau. He’d be overwhelmed by things he swore he would never feel again.
Tonight was just proof. He had let down his guard, given in to Beau in ways he refused to do with anyone else. He didn’t talk. Didn’t ask questions. He preferred to be alone to wallow in his own self-pity, not get close to anyone. Sex was sex, fucking was fucking.
This... this was none of those things and Ethan knew without a doubt that he was in way over his head.
The problem was... he was fighting a losing battle and he was tired.
So damn tired.
THE URGE TO touch Ethan, to put his hands on him was so great, Beau was surprised his muscles weren’t bulging from the effort he put forth to keep his body still. Just kissing him was pushing him beyond his limits. He wanted more.
Thankfully, the limited space within the truck wouldn’t allow for anything more. And Beau knew in his head that he didn’t want to push it. He’d brought Ethan here to talk, and that’s what they had done up to this point. He wanted to get close to Ethan, and not just physically.
He knew Ethan would use sex against him if they gave in right now to the uncontrollable urges that were building between them. It would be rough and hot and wonderful. But it would be a one-time deal, and Beau wasn’t willing to settle for one time. He wanted much more than that, which was why he was testing his own limits.
As Ethan’s hand moved across his skin, leaving razor-sharp tingles in its wake, he wondered if the man was trying to make him explode. His dick was like a steel spike lodged painfully in his jeans and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. The only positive, the pain was a constant reminder that he had to hold back. This wasn’t the time or place for this.
“When?”
It took a moment for Beau to realize what Ethan was asking, and when he did, he smirked. “Not as soon as I’d like, but I assure you, it’ll be soon.”
Ethan nodded as though that answer was sufficient, but the way his fingers dug into his skin told him otherwise. They were hanging by a thread, both of them. Pushing back, Beau put some space between them until Ethan’s hand slid around to his stomach and then fell from beneath his shirt. Beau immediately missed his touch.
“Let me take you home,” Beau told him. “You’ve got work tomorrow, and I’ve got some errands to run.” Beau wasn’t going to say he had to go look for a job because he wasn’t interested in ruining the moment.
Ethan nodded, but before Beau could move back to the driver’s seat, he was being pulled back, Ethan’s mouth latching on to his, sucking his tongue in deep and driving him crazy with lust. A throaty growl emerged from his chest as he pressed Ethan into the seat with his body, still refusing to touch him with his hands.
They ravished one another with only their mouths until they had to come up for air. That was the only thing that stopped them though.
“I want you,” Ethan whispered, his blue-gray eyes darker than Beau had ever seen them. Even in the dim light of the truck, he could see the intensity in his beautiful blue gaze.
Grinning, Beau whispered, “I know,” against Ethan’s lips. “And you’ve got me.”
The last part was probably too much, but he sensed the vulnerability in Ethan’s words. He had admitted his need, something he’d denied for months now, and Beau wasn’t about to let him get away without knowing just how affected he was.
“Now let me get you home.”
Ethan nodded, and this time he let Beau move back to the driver’s seat. Before he pulled out of the spot, Ethan opened the window and tossed the empty beer bottles into the truck bed. The freezing air that whipped through the cab did remarkably little to cool his overheated libido.
It was going to be a lonely night, he could feel it.