Chapter Thirteen
chapter THIRTEEN
E than tried to control his temper, but it wasn’t looking good for him. All the anger and stress that had dissipated with Beau’s kiss had returned tenfold, working its way back into Ethan’s bones, making him hurt all over again.
He was so pissed at Zane for making accusations he had no business making that now he could hardly see past the red haze. It was a damn good thing that his nosey-ass brother had decided to leave when he did. When his brothers made an effort to meddle in his life—which they did often for whatever reason—Ethan felt as though he was being stretched in multiple directions, like a rubber band. This time was no different, only he was seconds away from snapping.
“Hey,” Beau’s soothing voice interrupted his thoughts, causing him to stop pacing the floor and look over at him.
Lifting one eyebrow, he tried to give Beau a look that would deter the man from interfering. He wanted Beau to believe that what happened between them earlier hadn’t affected him, but either Beau wasn’t as adept at reading him as he originally thought or Beau wasn’t giving him an out. Part of him hoped it was the latter. He was tired of fighting himself and everyone else at the same time.
He didn’t move a muscle as he watched Beau walk to the control panel that would lower the open bay door. Once that was done, Beau made his way over to him, stopping within inches of his body. They stared at one another for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few tense seconds.
“I need to kiss you again,” Beau whispered before his lips slid over his.
God, why did he just want to give in? Why did Beau speak his mind, and why in the hell did it have a calming effect on him?
When Beau’s arms came around him, Ethan relaxed instantly, his arms snaking up and around Beau’s neck, unable to resist despite his common sense screaming like the blaring horns on a fire engine. Holding him close, Ethan reveled in Beau’s taste. The kiss moved from tentative and gentle to wild and daring faster than Ethan could inhale.
He groaned, unable to hold back as Beau’s strong hands slid up his back, pulling him close and holding him there.
“Still up for getting out of here for a while?” Beau asked gruffly after several intense seconds, his expression solemn.
Ethan couldn’t lie to him. There was no way he’d be able to tell him no. The only thing he wanted at the moment was to get out of there, just the two of them.
“Sure. You have somewhere in mind?”
Beau nodded but didn’t offer his suggestion.
Ethan grinned. “Come on.” Nodding toward the door, Ethan once again retrieved his truck keys. This time, he prayed that no one would interrupt their attempted departure because he wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait to be alone with Beau.
LESS THAN FIVE minutes later, Ethan was pulling up to his house. Bypassing his usual space in the center of the driveway, Ethan kept his truck to the right, allowing Beau a place to park that monstrous truck of his.
Without waiting, he climbed out and headed to the porch, hoping like hell Beau would follow. Seconds later, Beau was at his side, his big, warm hand coming down on his shoulder as Ethan attempted to unlock the front door.
“You sure this is all right?” Beau asked.
Ethan turned to face him, not understanding the question. Beau simply glanced over at the two trucks parked in the driveway. Taking a deep breath, he held it. Let it out.
“I should’ve let you ride with me,” Ethan said hurriedly, unsure what to make of Beau’s statement. Did he not want anyone to know he was there? Or was he trying to protect Ethan? After what had happened with Ricky yesterday morning, Ethan knew he should’ve had Beau ride with him, but this was his family’s land. Private property. And they were far enough back; no one other than his brothers would ever see Beau’s truck. Sure, it might raise some questions, but he’d become a pro at evading them whenever they popped up.
That didn’t mean Beau hadn’t wanted to be more discreet about their interaction.
“If you’re worried about someone finding out, I promise, no one will see your truck. And if they do, they won’t say anything.”
Beau’s face fell as he took a step back, his hand dropping from his shoulder, but he didn’t look away. “I don’t have anything to hide, E.”
Rather than having that conversation outside in the cold, Ethan pushed open the front door, reminding his feet that this wasn’t a race, and he wasn’t supposed to be running. He’d shown enough lack of decorum so far, he wasn’t about to let Beau’s offhand comment get to him.
After waiting for Beau to enter the house, Ethan followed, then closed and locked the door behind them, dropping his truck keys on the small table in the entryway.
“Nice place,” Beau stated.
“Thanks.” Ethan observed the interior of his home as though seeing it for the first time. Large, open rooms. A lot of glass, steel beams, and bamboo flooring tied everything together. Aside from that, the walls were carefully decorated, the appliances were sleek stainless steel, and the furniture was all modern with a hint of contemporary. Just the way Ethan liked it.
It wasn’t anything like his brothers’ houses, but given he had been provided the opportunity to do as he wanted, he had designed it to suit his tastes. In his opinion, they already lived in the country, he didn’t need the interior décor to remind him of that. Instead, he’d opted for modern and sleek. He liked clean lines and no clutter, and his house suited him.
If he had to describe it in one word, Ethan would say his taste was... simple.
Ethan watched as Beau moved slowly, glancing back at him once before moving forward.
“Want something to drink?” As though the question triggered Beau’s hunger response, Ethan heard Beau’s stomach growl. “How about I make us some lunch?”
Beau’s smile was so bright, Ethan’s heart thudded double time in his chest. God, the man was beautiful. And when he smiled, he was magnificent.
“I’ll help,” Beau offered. “Which way is the kitchen?”
Ethan chuckled and then moved around Beau so he could give him a brief tour of the downstairs. “Living room,” he said, pointing to the large den. The entire front and rear walls of the house were made up entirely of glass; therefore, the den was brightly lit, highlighting the bamboo floors, the stainless steel accents, and even the leather furniture.
“Dining room.” Ethan motioned to the small breakfast nook that was tucked away behind the kitchen, once again overlooking the back of the house, the windows offering a stunning view of his swimming pool. Although he liked the view from that room, he rarely used it because sitting at the table by himself just felt awkward.
“Kitchen,” he told Beau as they went through the arched entryway that led to the kitchen, which sat on the southwest corner, facing the front of the house. Each and every time he saw the kitchen, Ethan’s breath would stutter in his chest. It was by far his favorite room and the one he spent most of his time in. It wasn’t a known fact, but Ethan loved to cook. Even if he only cooked for one. His mother swore he’d inherited that trait from her.
Remembering Beau was behind him, he turned, nodding toward a hallway on the far side of the living room. “And there’s a bathroom and one guest room down that hall.”
He couldn’t bring himself to mention that his bedroom was upstairs. If he was lucky, he’d give Beau the hands-on tour of that room soon enough.
Once in the kitchen, Ethan rummaged through the refrigerator, looking for something to make. He’d gone to the store a couple of days ago, so there were plenty of options. He just wasn’t sure what to prepare for Beau. Ethan was tempted to cook for him, but then again, it would require more time and patience than he felt they had at the moment.
“Any requests?” he asked, glancing over the top of the refrigerator door at Beau, who was leaning against the wall in the doorway, watching him. His sexy arms were again crossed over his bulky chest.
Ethan’s mouth watered and suddenly he was starving... but not for anything he would find in the refrigerator.
BEAU TRIED TO appear casual.
He was pretty sure he failed.
Leaning against the wall, he watched Ethan move through the immaculately designed kitchen. He wondered if the guy knew how intensely sexy he was—even more so when he was comfortable in his own surroundings. He doubted Ethan even tried, but the powerful way he moved could almost be considered erotic. He lacked the grace that some men had, but he exerted an underlying self-assurance that was a total turn-on.
Damn.
“I’m not picky,” Beau answered Ethan’s question. “At least not when it comes to food.”
When Ethan’s eyebrow lifted in that smooth, confident way, Beau smiled. Yes, he was certainly picky about the partners he chose to be with. In fact, Ethan was the first man that Beau found himself openly attracted to. Well, aside from Zane, but even Beau could admit that was different.
Very different.
His attraction to Zane had been laced with confusion, uncertainty. Almost like an experiment. A way to confirm that he wasn’t who he had been pretending to be. With Ethan, he knew exactly what he wanted, and he wanted so much more than mere minutes rolling in the sheets. This was what he wanted, the easy conversation, the interaction that made his heart burst with excitement.
Beau cared for Zane. They were friends. But that’s all they were. Zane was a man who Beau could rely on when times were tough or when he needed someone to talk to. A man who would have his back when things got tough and high-five him when there was something to celebrate.
However, when it came to Ethan . . .
With Ethan, Beau felt entirely different.
Sure, there was an attraction. Intense and exquisite. Confusing in its own right, but not in the same way. Beau knew what he wanted with Ethan. He’d known it for a while. And the opportunity to get to know him better was right here in front of him. Beau only hoped he didn’t blow it.
“Sandwich?” Ethan asked.
Beau nodded. “Sounds perfect.” And quick, something Beau was certainly in the mood for. “What can I do to help?” he asked as he pushed off the wall and took two steps across the kitchen until he was practically pressing against the breakfast bar facing Ethan.
Ethan nodded toward a door as he said, “Grab the bread out of there.”
Beau didn’t hesitate before he was opening the oversized pantry, instantly taking stock of the food selection. Everything was organized neatly on each shelf, and there was more food in Ethan’s pantry than Beau had bought in probably three months. There were boxes and jars and cans, all of which were lined up in what appeared to be some sort of order that must’ve made sense to Ethan.
As he reached for the bread—having to choose between white and wheat—he skimmed the cans. Mostly vegetables, beans, and even a couple of cans of ravioli. It was odd how personal it felt to be perusing Ethan’s food supply. He liked the feeling, strangely enough.
“Do you like to cook?” he asked Ethan, pulling the loaf of bread out of the small box it was kept in.
Ethan looked up at him, pausing as he sliced a fresh tomato on a cutting board. “Yeah.”
Beau noticed the uncertainty on Ethan’s face, as though the fact that he enjoyed cooking was a part of himself he didn’t like to reveal.
“Well, we’ll get along nicely, then,” Beau said easily, setting the wheat bread down in front of Ethan before turning to the built-in refrigerator that took up the majority of one wall.
“Why’s that?” Ethan asked.
“Because I like to eat.”
Ethan laughed, the sound rusty but soothing at the same time.
Beau searched the refrigerator for longer than he probably should have. It was stocked just as well, if not better, than the pantry. Tons of fresh food, including vegetables and fruit, more meat and cheese. A gallon of milk, a six-pack of Heineken—Ethan’s beer of choice. Several jars of applesauce. And an enormous jug of chocolate syrup.
Pretending that he wasn’t checking out what type of food Ethan opted for, Beau grabbed a jar of mayo and a bottle of spicy mustard. When he turned back, he noticed Ethan watching him, a subtle grin on his delectable lips.
“Sorry,” Beau said shyly as he took the items and set them alongside the abundance of fresh meat and cheese that were decorating the counter beside Ethan.
Opting not to retreat, which was something he would’ve done in the past, Beau decided he was going to embrace this moment. He still wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to this point, but he wasn’t about to ruin it. Being here, doing something as mundane as making sandwiches, Beau felt closer to Ethan than when they’d been making out at the shop just a short while ago.
His entire body heated rapidly as he remembered that kiss. It was amazing. Even better than last night or the first kiss they shared on Christmas Day, and for the longest time, Beau wasn’t sure anything would ever compare to that.
“Can you grab a couple of plates out of the cabinet?”
Beau headed over to the cabinet that Ethan nodded toward and grabbed two plates before returning to his side.
“One or two?” Ethan asked, sliding slices of bread out of the plastic wrapper.
“Three,” Beau said with a smile. He didn’t eat often, but when he did, he ate a lot. At six feet six, 240 pounds, Beau wasn’t a little guy. Considering he spent at least eight hours a week in the gym, another forty on his feet at work, he couldn’t skimp on food if he had a say in the matter.
Ethan handed him six slices of bread, and Beau laid them out on a plate while Ethan did the same with four pieces. For the next few minutes, they built fat sandwiches, their arms, shoulders, and hands grazing one another every so often, sending shards of awareness coursing through him.
“Was it me? Or was that the most immensely satisfying sandwich making of your life?” Ethan muttered as he grabbed his plate and headed toward the dining table, causing Beau to laugh as he followed.
“Not gonna argue,” Beau agreed with an amused smirk, “immensely satisfying.”
The two of them sat across from one another while they ate. Beau expected it to be awkward, but surprisingly enough, as soon as they were seated, Ethan opted for conversation. Maybe not a topic Beau was happy about, but at least he chose to fill the silence.
“That comment Ricky made yesterday,” Ethan began, glancing up at Beau. “Has he ever said something like that around you before?”
Instead of answering immediately, Beau admired the view off the back of the house, the crystal-blue waters of the infinity pool that were probably cold enough to send his balls into hibernation for a year. The trees that encircled the back side of the house, even when they were dismal from the cold winter temperatures, offered the same sort of privacy that Zane’s house had.
Finally letting his gaze settle on Ethan once more, Beau answered, “No.”
He didn’t even want to think about what Ricky had said. More importantly, he didn’t want to think about the fact that he had left Ricky with his legs still intact. He should’ve pulverized the bastard right then and there. As he ate, he studied Ethan momentarily and then followed up with a question of his own. “Has he said that to you before?”
“ To me? No. Around me? Yes.” Ethan wasn’t paying attention to much more than the sandwich that was left on his plate. “I’ve heard it numerous times. Mostly when we’re at Moonshiners. The guy doesn’t possess enough balls to say it to my face.”
Beau’s hand instinctively clenched into a fist. He had to put his sandwich down or he risked squeezing it into a mushy mess. “He’s a bastard,” Beau retorted.
“There’re a lot of those in this town,” Ethan confirmed. “You’ll do yourself a favor if you learn to ignore them. Or better yet, just keep your personal business to yourself.”
Beau wasn’t sure he could do that. For one, he didn’t want to hide who he was. He was at a point in his life when he knew what he wanted. And two, he knew there would be those who would never accept him, but Beau had spent his life around people who did accept him—why would he want to hide from them now?
“Is that why you’re hiding?” he asked, the words blowing out of his mouth like a volcanic eruption that he was unable to stop.
The glare he received from Ethan told him he should’ve kept his mouth shut. Only now the words were out, and he really wanted to know.
“I’m not hiding,” Ethan said, although he didn’t sound convincing.
“No?”
“No. It’s just nobody’s fucking business.”
Beau was tempted to argue, but he knew it was pointless. Not to mention, he wasn’t interested in pissing Ethan off. However, it did seem like that was fairly easy to do. Getting into a pissing match with the man he wanted to spend more time with wasn’t going to benefit either of them, so Beau simply nodded, letting the subject drop.
“So, Dillinger’s let you go because they’re slow?” Ethan asked when the silence consumed them long minutes later.
At least the subject had changed, and Ethan didn’t sound like he was ready to strangle him.
“That’s what Ralph says. Now I’m starting to wonder.”
Beau remembered Ricky’s statement from yesterday:
Told you he was a queer, Ralph.
At the time, Beau got the impression Ricky had been talking about him , not Ethan.
“Wonder about what?” Ethan looked up. “It’s not like they know you’re gay.”
Beau picked his sandwich up, then put it back down. Part of him agreed with Ethan because he wasn’t sure how anyone would know. Well, no one other than Zane and V. And now Ethan. And maybe Blake. “How do you figure that?”
“Never mind.”
“No. Answer me.”
Ethan peered up at him, his eyes wide as though he couldn’t believe Beau had the nerve to talk to him that way.
Well, the man would have to learn soon enough... Beau wasn’t the submissive type. And he hoped he was going to get to prove to Ethan just how un -submissive he really was.