5. Skyler
5
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I’m driving down the road, headed back to Daddy’s safe house, yelling.
“I told them all this was going to be a shitshow of epic proportions, but what do I know. I have tits and only one brain to function my entire body, how could I possibly know what I’m talking about? I punched Ethan! I wouldn’t have struck if I thought it was him. Okay, I might’ve. But let’s face it, he deserved to get slapped for all the shit he said and the way he was acting, but I didn’t mean…Uggghhhh!” I groan. “Assholes! The lot of them!”
I probably look like a lunatic shouting into my phone to people passing by with my exaggerated gestures.
I pull my truck into the driveway and stare at the old farmhouse I’ve missed for so long. We vacationed here in the summer sometimes. It gave Daddy the opportunity to maintain the upkeep. Ghost is the only other person who knows about this place.
It looks like the eaves and porch have been painted white recently. It pops against the dark red brick. The broken step has been repaired. The bushes along the porch are neatly trimmed, fresh flowers are blossoming in widow planters between the two wooden rocking chairs, and the front lawn is freshly mowed.
Daddy always took pride in our yards. Of course, if he didn’t take care of it, Mama would pitch a fit and threaten to do the work herself or hire one of the neighbor’s boys to do it, knowing Daddy didn’t want anyone anywhere near his tools. Especially Mama. He swore whenever she touched them, they’d disappear or mysteriously break, and he’d end up spending a small fortune to replace them. It was less hassle to do the work himself between trips.
The memory of their silly argument brings a smile to my lips.
He kept up the backyard neat and clean near the house, but the woods lining the property he said were never meant to be touched, just enjoyed. There are even a few trails I used to run through the trees leading to a creek and a few small fishing pockets along the property.
We don’t have next door neighbors around here. Most people have a couple of acres this far off the main road. We like the beauty, and the privacy nature provides. The seclusion and privacy were the reason Daddy purchased the place for me.
That’s right. No one knows about it because it’s mine. Well, it was my mother’s and when she passed on it was left to me.
Take our property for example, Daddy put a porch all the way around the house with a deck extending out into the back where a firepit sits out in the open. We used to roast marshmallows and drink hot chocolate wrapped up in one of Mama’s throw blankets out there most nights we came to visit. He’d tell me about his trip on the road and the amazing places he saw, and I’d fill him in on the latest book I was reading.
He made a path leading down into Mama’s garden where she had her rose bushes and some fresh produce. I tried to keep up with it, but I didn’t have the patience she did when it came to sharing our vegetables with all the animals in the area. She didn’t seem to mind, but it pissed me off to work so hard only to watch a rabbit or deer eat my hard-earned food. Daddy was never good at growing vegetables, but he did manage to keep her roses coming back every year.
He’s driven an eighteen-wheeler for as long as I can remember. He could be on the road for days, even weeks at a time until Mama passed away. Then he took a job for one of Garrison’s clients, West International Freight, allowing him to work shorter runs and fewer days a week. On the nights he was on the road, my Uncle Chris or Gus and his wife would stay with me.
Once I got into high school, I was allowed to stay home alone, but there was always a motorcycle or two driving by the house a few times a night. They’ve watched over me.
Even when I didn’t want them to.
Dating in high school was a nightmare until Ethan. I guess since he had Daddy’s approval the guys didn’t give him as much shit as they did the others. Not that there were many others. I wasn’t popular by any means. Not until Emily decided we were going to be best friends. Her crazy ass was popular, though not for the reasons most girls were. She was a live wire and tended to put snobby bitches in their place. She was liked for her carefree, Devil-may-care attitude. She did what she wanted and didn’t give a shit about what anybody thought.
Most people didn’t bother messing with her. I’m certain it had everything to do with the fact Ethan would kick their ass if they did. He took his job of protecting his baby sister very seriously.
It’s why I knew becoming a King would be good for him. They are protective over what they deem to be theirs. Especially their women and families.
With the possible threat in the air, and Daddy’s murder, I’m sure everyone’s going to be on hyper alert. They’ll all be up my ass now. They all see me as Ghost’s family, which makes me theirs by extension. It’s going to make working at the Pearl difficult, but I’ll find a way. At least this house being where it is will make the commute a little easier.
I can’t lose this job. Not when I know Vincenzo knows something about what happened. According to Eli, Vincenzo had his men tail me home. I find it hard to believe that’s coincidental.
At least I’ll have Cash as a buffer. I’m sure I can convince him to be my babysitter. He knows about Scarlet. He helped me put the costumes together. And I’m sure I could bribe him with getting more one-on-one time with Sherrie while I’m on stage.
If Eli will let him stay and Gabe approves, I’m sure I can get Cash to cover for me.
We have to follow protocol.
My eyes roll at the thought of these men and their bullshit rules.
They’ll protect you. You’ll do as they say because it’s what Daddy would have wanted.
I hate when my internal voice is rational. But I also know it’s true. I’ll do it. For him.
At least for a little while.
Daddy would’ve lost his ever-loving mind if he’d heard the crap Ethan was yelling at me.
“I told you he’d hate me, Daddy. He’ll never accept the truth, even if I could tell him.”
A knock on the driver’s window startles me out of my thoughts. I swipe away the few tears spilling down my cheek, and glare at the grinning prospect standing beside my door.
“Come on, babe. It isn’t safe for you out here. Pres gave orders to get you inside and out of sight. Unlock the doors and I’ll grab your bags for you.”
“Blake, is it?”
He nods. I open the door, pushing hard enough to make him huff when the door hits him in the gut. “I can carry my own bags and keep myself safe. You can run on back to the cum dumpster you left at the clubhouse. I’m sure she’s ready for seconds.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I’m sure she is. But my orders are to stay here.”
“Lucky me.”
I grab my bags from the back seat, close the door, and lock up my truck. Blake snatches the bags out of my hands and starts making his way up the steps.
I groan the word, “Asshole,” watching as he heads up the steps to the front door. He doesn’t care what I think, he’s following orders regardless.
I can’t be too mad at him. He’s still a prospect earning his patch. He’s going to follow orders to a T if he wants to be a King. It’s a test of loyalty. The same one we all had to pass.
Wonder what Ethan had to do as a prospect? Who he did?
No. Nope. Don’t go there.
He needed a family. People to look after him after Emily’s death and my disappearance. It was a good idea at the time. Now, I’m not so sure. I wasn’t sure what would happen if our paths crossed. I’d done everything I could to keep it from happening.
When the Oak Ridge chapter drove into Mountain Heights, I stayed hidden away in my apartment until they left town again. Thankfully they never stayed more than a few days. It wasn’t hard to stay out of sight. I was used to being invisible.
Ethan hardly ever visited Mountain Heights. Eli said it was because of his fight schedule, but I knew Gabe was involved. He purposely made the runs when Ethan was in training or preparing for a fight. I knew, because I’ve been following Ethan’s career since day one. Even from Mountain Heights I kept tabs on him to make sure Gabe was keeping up with his end of our agreement.
Sure girl. Keep telling yourself that.
I always knew when he did visit.
I knew when Gabe’s chapter came up, the guys would have their needs serviced by the Mountain Heights club girls, or sometimes Cash would bring in girls from the Bare Trap to entertain them. It’s a common curtesy among clubs.
After the last visit, I overheard the girls chatting each other up at Cash’s bar one night about their experiences. The way they described Ethan’s body and his tattoos almost exactly, I knew he’d slept with at least two of them if not more. Of course, Hawk slept with all of them.
The thought of Ethan with anyone else, was too much for me to bear. But to know he was with club whores nearly killed me. It’s also why I knew I couldn’t stay at the clubhouse. Hearing about him sleeping with women and seeing him with one were two different things.
I couldn’t get mad. This is the life I wanted for him. Sort of. And none of them could’ve known he was once mine.
When things went to shit and I left Oak Ridge, all I wanted was for Ethan to have a family. People to care for him and protect him. I didn’t think about him having a wife, and certainly not a fucking harem of whores. It’s the one thing I didn’t consider would happen when I asked the club to watch over him.
Although, a wife wouldn’t have been easy to take either, at least I’d know he had someone who loved him, and he would be happy. Have everything, he once wanted with me.
I need to push every thought of the past out of my mind.
Things are different now.
I shake Ethan from my thoughts, pull out my key, place it in the lock, and turn.
Deep breath, Sky.
Pumpkin spice. Vanilla. Coffee. And Tobacco.
Home.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Blake asks, his meaty hand grabbing my elbow to steady me.
It’ll get easier, I tell myself, but I know I’m lying. It’s everyone’s way to comfort those who have suffered loss, but the truth is it never gets easier. Time just passes and people either forget or move on.
I stand straighter, releasing my arm from Blake’s grip. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long time. It’s going to take some getting used to, coming here, and knowing they’re both gone. You know?”
Blake nods but doesn’t speak.
I take a seat on the couch, grabbing Mama’s Afghan, wrapping it over my shoulders. It’s not cold by any means, but I need the comfort. I sit in silence and allow myself to breathe as reality starts to edge its way into my thoughts.
They’re gone and I’m alone. This is what it’s going to be from now on.
I know logically, I’m not really alone. Ghost, Cash, Eli, the club. They’ll inevitably invade my life because it’s what they think my daddy wanted. They see his asking them to protect me as far more than just keeping me alive. But it’s not the same as having someone.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my uncle, but he lives his life for his club. Although I’m grateful for all the club has done for Daddy and me, I can’t see myself being a part of their lives. I don’t think my heart could take being around Ethan all the time. My heart is barely taped together as it is. Seeing him at the clubhouse reopened old wounds and tore open a few new ones.
Maybe I should sell the house and leave town again. Start somewhere fresh where no one knows me. It sucked doing it the first time, but it’s got to be easier the second time around, right?
I’ll miss Eli, Cash, and the rest when they go back to Mountain Heights, but I know they have their own lives to get back to. And if I know Cash, he’ll make excuses to come down to visit often. Sherrie being one of those excuses. Even more reason to move somewhere else.
I saw the hurt in Ethan’s eyes when his brothers took to my defense. I don’t want to be the wedge dividing them. Gabe’s men have known me my whole life. The girl they watched grow up and cared for when her mama went to heaven. But their loyalty lies with Ethan, even if it didn’t seem like it today. He wears their patch.
But Eli’s men took me on as someone they were meant to protect no matter the cost. And until the order changes, it’s what they’ll do.
My relationship with Eli’s club is different. They’re like a group of guys in high school. The ones who know they’re good-looking and can be cocky, but they’re funny and sweet and protective if they consider you one of their own. When I came to them, I was broken, bruised, and defeated. A scared little girl who had everything stripped away from her and felt like she couldn’t do anything for herself.
They proved me wrong.
They taught me to fight. Not just to save my life, but to save myself, and who I’ve become. Walker taught me how to use a gun and a knife, and how to disarm someone else. They took turns teaching me how to protect myself in any situation so I would never again be taken off guard.
I will never let anyone take anything from me again.
To Eli’s men, I am one of their own.
I expect it will change once they leave and I don’t see them as much. They won’t be responsible for me anymore. Out of sight out of mind and all.
It’s funny how different the two chapters seem to me.
Ghost used to be their road captain. He stepped down from his role a few years after mama died. He laid his bike down while making a run for the club. His bike was totaled, and his left leg injured badly enough it left him unable to ride like he used to. When I asked what happened, I was given the usual, it’s club business, darlin’ spiel. He still rides around town on his Fat Boy, but it’s too painful for him to go on long runs. Ethan is Road Captain now.
Caleb was the club president back then. He stepped down a few months before my mother died. I don’t know the whole story. I was too young when it happened, and too distracted by my mother’s illness to be privy to anything more than rumors and speculation. I do know it had something to do with the loss of three of Caleb’s family members. His brother, his daughter-in-law, and his granddaughter.
There have been a lot of different versions of the stories over the years about what happened to all of them. Typical town gossip.The only story always told the same, is how Caleb’s brother, Jonah was killed in a robbery at their gun shop.
A few months after Jonah’s death, Maggie, Caleb’s daughter-in-law, and her baby girl were killed in a car accident on Old Miller Mine Road. Her story is the one with several versions floating around. Some say she was leaving her husband, Gabe, and crashed on her way out of town. Something about being tired of slumming it with a biker and wanting to run back home to her parents and her inheritance.
When I saw Gabe and his wife, they seemed happy. He adored Maggie and their little girl from what I could tell. He was constantly hugging them and kissing their heads. They were almost always together at family functions. I find it hard to believe Maggie would’ve left him, but I was a kid occupied with watching my mama fade away. I guess it’s not hard to think I could’ve missed what was happening around me.
Others in town said she was run off the road by a rival MC.
Ghost never told me which version was the truth. Like most things involving the Kings, Maggie’s death was club business. I respected the fact Gabe wanted to keep the details of his family’s death to himself. I didn’t like talking about Mama’s sickness and her passing either.
Gabe is Caleb’s youngest son. He took over as President just after Jonah’s death. In fact, most of the older officers stepped down about the same time. Whispers around town said they all stepped down to protect the younger members from any blowback when they decided on their retaliation, but those were just rumors.
Oak Ridge isn’t a small town per se, but it’s small enough where people like to gossip and air out each other’s dirty laundry. Liz told me it was simply just time for the next generation to step up and take over. Since she’s not one I know to bullshit, I took her word over anyone else’s.
Apparently, the whole town is still full of gossip and rumors.
It’s the only way Ethan could have his facts so screwed up about me and his sister’s death.
I grew up here. We comforted each other when shit happened, even if we didn’t fully understand why or what that shit was. Most of the younger Oak Ridge guys having went to school with me. Jake and Hawk are slightly older than me. They were friends with Ethan when we were dating my last year of high school.
The older members, like Gus, Caleb, Gabe, Mack, and Jameson, watched over me as a child and when they needed me to, I babysat their kids. We all know each other, though everyone’s changed and grown over the years. It’s a close-knit family. Well, they are.
They don’t know me anymore. They only know the sweet, innocent girl they remember and the junkie whore they’ve heard about. But I’m neither of those people.
Oak Ridge knows who I was; Mountain heights who I’ve become. The only one who knew all of me, was Daddy, and now he’s gone.
“She’s a junkie whore.” Ethan’s words cut deep. Even though I know it’s not true, coming from him it hit like a bullet to the chest. Makes me think he never knew me at all.
Whatever.
People made up their own versions of the truth and without being here to defend myself, and everyone who did know the truth being sworn to secrecy, Ethan believed whatever he heard. People will talk about those they can. Gabe made Maggie off limits for anyone to speak about. Guess I wasn’t so lucky.
A throat clears behind me, reminding me I’m not alone. I quickly wipe the tears from my face for the second time, trying not to berate myself for showing weakness. Maybe it’s silly, but I need to keep my mask on and my armor of indifference front and center.
I turn to find Blake standing near the dining room table with my bags still in his hands.
“Where should I put these?” he asks looking uncomfortable for imposing on my private moment.
“The last room on the left is mine. You can lay them in there on the bed.” A long sigh escapes my lips as I try to gather myself. Everything feels so raw.
Old wounds have been reopened.
New ones are leaving their marks with each passing moment.
Daddy’s killer is still out there, and I don’t know if his death has anything to do with my past or if there’s a new threat on the horizon. He must’ve believed trouble was coming for me to send me home ahead of schedule. The problem is, I don’t know what kind of trouble he was in or who he was trying to keep me safe from. He didn’t tell me anything over the phone. Gave me nothing to go on. To drop my guard around anyone when I don’t know who my enemies are, would only make me an easy target. Something I promised myself would never happen again.
I may not have a home, a man, or the family I dreamed of having, but I’m not weak. I’m not reliant on anyone to take care of me. Even if they think I am. I can handle my own and I’ll do just.
I’ll let the club keep me safe while I grieve. They’ll take over just for a little bit, and plan the funeral and the burial, so I can focus on the house and what needs to be done here.
Except Ethan. He won’t protect me.
He’s grieving too.
He’s hurting with the loss of his friend and now having me here…
It doesn’t excuse his behavior.
My thoughts and emotions are torn. I release a long huff of breath and drop my head in my hands.
“Arguing with yourself is the first sign of insanity, Skyler,” I say aloud to the room.
“It’s debatable,” Blake says, reentering the room. “I’ve seen some pretty insane shit, and none of those men were known for talking to themselves. They were just flat out fucked up.”
I chuckle, appreciating his attempt to make me feel better. “Fair enough.”
“Can I help you with anything before I head out onto the porch?”
“You don’t have to wait outside. You’re welcome to stay inside. Help yourself to anything in the fridge and relax. I’m sure once church is over, you’ll be called off guard duty.”
Blake looks down at his feet, then back-up meeting my eyes looking somewhat apologetic.
“I was instructed to stay on the porch. To give you space to…you know…go through things, or cry or whatever.” Blake rubs the back of his neck, around to his scruff, seeming uncomfortable with the situation. Or maybe he’s uncomfortable with me.
I did give him shit about Melanie and their tryst this morning. But he doesn’t seem the type to be bothered by my opinion.
You’re the enemy of his brother.Yeah.
I see why Jayde thinks he’s hot. He is. With his dark messy hair and light facial scruff, he’s got the whole Vampire Diaries vibe about him. Too bad he’s a womanizing asshole. He’s a young, good-looking guy, who has patch pussy ready and available with no strings attached anytime he wants. It’s a perk to being a part of the MC. And a slap to the face to the women who genuinely love and pine for them, like Jayde.
“I’ll just head outside and sit on the rocker until Pres calls. If you need anything, holler.”
“Sure.”
The door clicks softly behind him, leaving me in a silent house.
I make my way down the hall and into Daddy’s bedroom. Noticing the bed is unmade and his pajamas are folded over the rocking chair by the dresser, I grab his shirt and take a deep breath. It still smells like him. His spicy aftershave and a hint of clove.
For the first time, the pain in my chest becomes too much to bear. The reality of losing my father steels the breath from my lungs. The grief has been clawing at me, but I couldn’t bring myself to breakdown in front of them. Being in his room, surrounded by his things, it feels so permanent.
The tears break loose, and I let them.
The feeling of being lost and alone terrifies me.
Right now, alone in his room, wrapped in the comfort of his scent, I’ll let myself feel the weight of everything. Acknowledge the truth and embrace the pain and darkness being alone brings. I’ve felt it once before, and I promised myself never again. I’ll fight it off again.
After today.
It’s the only way I know to survive.
How am I going to do this without you?
I put the shirt on, curl up on the bed, burrow into his pillow, and let myself go. I cry until sleep finally takes me over.
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