15. Skyler
15
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My head is a jumbled mess. Spent most of the day buried under the covers, sleeping off the half bottle of whiskey I drank after Cash drove me home from the Pearl last night. It’s been my routine since the incident at the clubhouse.
I wasn’t ready to face the shame I felt yet.
I even tried working off my frustrations in the cage at the gym. Ethan wasn’t supposed to train until hours later. I figured I could get in there, spar a few rounds with Anna or Cash and I’d feel better. But the jackass had to some in and ruin the little sense of peace I had finally started feeling. It wasn’t good enough to ruin my training session, he decided he needed to go toe to toe with Cash in the cage too. The reason for Ethan’s tantrum? He was pissed to find me working out in his precious gym! And the worst part of it all?
I still want him and his hypocritical ass!
Do I have regrets?
Only one. I wish what happened between us at the Pearl hadn’t happened as Scarlet and Ethan. I wish the person Ethan worshiped would’ve been Skyler.
I should’ve told him.
It wouldn’t have happened.
What hurts most is knowing the man, I’ve been craving, that I’ve loved all this time, could so easily hate me, and get lost in fucking another woman.
He’s been doing it for years, Sky. Don’t be naive.
Scarlet was one of many women for him to lose himself in and forget about me.
But then he kissed me at the clubhouse, and I felt it. The electricity, the connection between us. I thought maybe he still felt the pull between us. But when he pulled away, shouting not only how much he didn’t want me, but how he hated me, there was no question.
Ethan is over me.
I thought, no, I hoped, maybe, there was a chance he’d forgive me or at least he would start to. I thought…
Doesn’t matter.
Violet called me this afternoon asking if I wanted to go out for drinks at O’Malley’s tonight. I would’ve said no but she sounded like she desperately needed a night out. Since I’m not dancing at the Pearl anymore, I had nothing better to do than sulk alone at home.
So, here I am, pretending to have a good time, trying to keep my mind off a certain biker.
Easier said than done.
“Thank you for coming out tonight. I don’t get to go out unless it’s for work or taking Carter to school. It’s nice to have some adult interaction.” Violet says, rolling her wine glass between her hands.
“I was glad you called. I needed to get out of the house myself. It’s been a long week. A few drinks and some girl time might be exactly what I need too.” I’m surprised she invited me. Violet struggles with being in public, especially around men. The fact she chose O’Malley’s makes me think she’s finally gotten comfortable with the club members at least.
Violet smiles. Her shoulders drop with relief. “How’s our little man doing anyway? Haven’t seen him in a while.”
Violet sips her wine, and smiles. “He’s good. He likes his teacher. Talks non-stop about recess. He’s made a couple of friends. One of the boys, Liam, invited Carter to his birthday party in a couple of weeks. They’re having a videogame truck come out to the house. I didn’t know such a thing existed, but Carter has been looking them up online. He’s been studying cheat codes trying to memorize them before the party. He doesn’t have the newest games to practice on at home. His game console is older, but it was all I could afford.”
“Good for him!” She looks at me confused. “He doesn’t have to have what everyone else has. He found a way to adapt and blend in.”
“I figured he was doing it so they wouldn’t feel sorry for him. I know it’s got to be hard for him when the other kids have two parents, a nice home, and brand name everything while my kid is lucky to have…”
“You.” I cut her off, grabbing her hand in mine. “Carter has you and that’s more than some kids have. You work your ass off to keep a roof over his head, food in his belly, and you bend over backward to be there for all the pivotal moments in his life. It’s not the stuff the boy has that matters, Vi.” We lock eyes, tears are looming in hers. “Don’t ever feel bad for not having what everyone else has, you hear me? Because that little boy has something money can’t buy. A mom who fucking cares.”
She smiles a sad smile, but then she nods. “I think we need something stronger than wine. What do you say? Hey Katie!” She calls.
Katie comes up to the table. “What’ll you lassies like? More wine?”
“Sadie once mentioned Jinx makes a special drink for the Kings women. Can we get a couple of those or is that a ‘members only’ situation?”
Katie smiles wide. “It’s called the Taming of the Shrew. I’ll get you two. Seeing as Skyler here is about to be an ol’ lady, I’m sure Jinx will see fit to serve you a couple.”
What the hell?
“No, I’m not with…” Katie’s gone before I can correct her.
“You’re dating a King?” Violet’s eye damn near bug out of her head with excitement.
As if summoned by the Devil himself, Jake, Hawk, Cash, Declan, Mason, and Ethan all swagger into the bar.
You would think someone scratched a record to get everyone’s attention, the way the noise level drops to a low rumble. Every woman in the bar has stopped what they’re doing to watch and admire the men.
Three women who were sitting at a corner table take notice. I watch as one of the women, a blonde, unbuttons two buttons on her blouse exposing the red lace cups of her bra. The brunette beside her grabs her tits and gives them a good shuffle making them look fuller in what is obviously a push up bra. The third, another blonde, takes a different route, running her finger along the rim of her margarita glass then sucking the salt off her finger drawing attention to her mouth.
Pathetic.
Cash makes eye contact with me, smiling. The asshole. I roll my eyes. He laughs.
I’m tempted to shout, “there are plenty more exactly like you at the clubhouse and they don’t require a drink to suck them off,” but I think better of it. These women probably don’t require one either.
Within minutes, the blonde who was licking her cup is seated on Ethan’s lap. He’s making his point.
Our kiss meant nothing.
Imean nothing.
I try not to let it affect my mood, but I’m struggling.
One of the women walks up to Declan, vying for his attention. I watch as Violet’s face turns a deep shade of pink. Interesting.
“Violet?” She doesn’t look at me, her eyes are glued to the table the men are all sitting at. “You, okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure thing.” She’s so full of shit. The woman is still standing near Declan, inching closer as she tries to strike up conversation. Declan’s focus is on Violet. Vi turns away, looking at the menu like it’s the most interesting thing she’s read in weeks.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Not really. Vi, are you and Declan...?”
“What? No. Declan is one of them. He’s nice enough, but, well, I’m me. And he’s him. It wouldn’t work. I’m a mother. I come with baggage.” She shrugs as if she’s accepted this bullshit she’s spewing at me as truth. I can see the heat in Declan’s eyes as he’s staring at Violet from across the room. Whatever she’s thinking, he isn’t on the same page. He looks determined enough for the both of them.
“Here are your drinks ladies.”
As I pick up my glass, an obtrusive giggle catches my attention. The blonde who was licking the rim of her glass is now seated in Ethan’s lap, laughing at God only knows what. Cash has the brunette in his lap eating out of his hand, literally. He’s feeding her a chicken wing. How did they get food before us?
I toss my drink back and slam the glass on the table then call for Katie. Before she reaches the table I shout, “Two more.” Katie nods and heads back to the bar.
“You know what? Fuck it.” Violet tosses back her drink, slamming the glass down, throwing her hands up. Her feet are stomping on the floor. “Fucking head rush!” She groans.
“Gotcha didn’t it?” Katie laughs, placing two new drinks on the table. Vi nods. “Yeah, it happens. But the beauty is, they taste so good you don’t care about the small burn in a minute or two, it’ll be forgotten.”
“Hey Katie? Can you keep these coming?” I’m not looking at her when I ask. I’m watching Ethan whispering in the blonde’s ear. His hand is on the inside of her thing a touch below the rim of her dress. Katie looks in their direction, then scoffs. “Sure thing, love.’
We toss back the second glass of the mystery concoction, then Vi shocks the shit out of me when she drags me by the hand and says, “Let’s dance!” A smile spreads my face. I follow her to the main floor, wedging our way through the crowd until we’re in the center, losing ourselves to the rhythm.
Katie brings us two more drinks on the floor. When I look at her puzzled, she leans into my ear and says, “Hawk paid me extra to bring you two more on the floor.” I can’t see him, but I smile, nod and hand Violet her drink.
“One, two, three.” We toss them back, place the empties on the tray and start dancing together.
The DJ comes over the speaker and announces, “Someone requested this next song. Come on now, y’all, let’s shake your south side.”
Violet and I scream. We start moving in step together, shaking to the rhythm, having a good time until two unfamiliar hands grab my hips from behind and begin moving my body with them. I’m about to turn around and tell the person to back off, but then I recognize his laughter.
“Hawk, what the hell are you doing?”
He leans in close. “Turning the tables, babe. Come on. Let’s show them how it’s done.”
We dance together for the next three songs. Violet waves me over, taking my hand, she drags me back to the table. We plop down in our seats and drink the waters that have magically appeared in front of us.
Hawk heads back to his table where a very pissed of Declan sits nursing a beer, glaring at Violet. The bitch from earlier nowhere to be seen. Even Ethan seems to have lost his lap dog. Cash however seems to have his hands full of some brunette’s ass up against the wall near the pool tables.
I head into the bathroom, do my business and as I’m walking back to meet Violet at the table, a hand reaches out, grabbing me and tossing me into the back office.
“Ethan! What the hell?”
He closes the door and starts grilling into me.
“What the hell is right?” He glares at me, his arms crossed over his chest and his legs spread wide. He looks pissed.
“What’s wrong?” I lean my hip against the desk, folding my own arms over my chest. If he came in here looking to argue. It’s been a long ass day and if he wants a fight, I’ll happily give it to him. Watching him with Bubbles the bimbo has me feeling a little stabby myself. If it’s a fight he wants? Bring it!
“What’s going on with you? You’re not acting like yourself.”
“What are you talking about?
“How many drinks have you had, Sky?”
“Clearly not enough.”
“This isn’t like you. You’ve never been a big drinker, so I’ll ask again. What the fuck is going on?” His voice does that gravelling thing I like, and damnit it my body doesn’t react to him.
“It’s nothing, Ethan.” He cocks a brow, telling me he doesn’t believe me. “Or maybe it’s everything. I don’t know. Why do you even care?” I throw my arms out.
“Everything is a vague way of saying nothing,” he teases. “I know you, Skyler. Something’s wrong.”
My temper hits boiling point.
“You know me?” I laugh. “What a fucking joke. You don’t know shit about me Ethan. I’m not the same girl you knew six years ago, afraid of her own fucking shadow. Cowering whenever someone raises their voice in my direction. That Skyler is long gone. So please, don’t tell me you know me. You have no fucking clue about who I am or what I’ve been through.”
“Tell me then.” He leans back, the challenge clear in his tone.
“I can’t.”
“Can’t what, Sky? Talk to me. You know if moving back here is too much, you say the word, I’ll pack your shit for you, and we can have Eli and the guys drive you right back to Mountain Heights?” The change in his tone says he’s serious. Almost hopeful.
“I am home,” I say sternly throwing my hands in the air. “Why doesn’t anyone seem to understand this? I AM. home. Oak Ridge is my home. That cold, empty house I’m sleeping in…is my home. Every happy memory of my childhood life is here in this town. Even the shitty memories I have in this place. They’re all my home.
“It hasn’t been your home for the last six years. It’s obvious being here is fucking with your head.” He gestures at my face.
“You want to know why I’m so fucked up these last few weeks? Fine.” I start ticking things off in rapid fire. “How about, the last time I spoke to Daddy he was telling me goodbye for the last time. The bastards that murdered him are still out there somewhere, and no one will tell me a goddamn thing because it’s...”
“Club business.”
“You keep it to yourselves and your club business bullshit.” We speak in unison.
Tossing my arms in the air. “He was my father! And you won’t even tell me why he died! But he knew someone coming for him. He knew. You know how I know? Because he left their wedding rings at the summer house. Not our house. Not my childhood home. The house I’m currently inhabiting where he knew I would be, where I would find it. He left the picture of me from his truck in the bathroom. He didn’t want someone to know about me, Ethan! He did all this to protect me. From what? Who was he trying to save me from? Because if it was the people, I think it was…” I pause not dating to speak what I believe to be true.
It”s my fault.
“I need to go.” I bolt for the door in search of Mason. I know Ethan’s behind me, but I don’t have it in me to care. I need to get out of here.
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