34. Ethan
34
*********
Skyler stares down at her hands twisting in her lap. She doesn’t want to tell me whatever comes next. Her breathing has become more ragged, and her pulse has picked up.
Taking her hands in mine, I lean in and kiss her on the mouth. It’s not hungry or needy like the others. This kiss is soft, sweet, soothing. I need her to know she’s safe with me, that I’m not angry with her. I want to know the truth so we can both heal our past and move on together.
When I pull back from the kiss, Sky’s eyes are glazed. The heat and desire are back, but I need her to finish telling me what happened.
“Then what happened, baby?” I kiss her forehead again. “You can tell me.”
She exhales deeply. “The night she, uh, she died, she had called me. She sounded off. Her words slow, slurred. She was upset, sounded like she’d been crying. She asked me to come get her because she wanted to go home. I had her send me her location so I could track her on my GPS. She didn’t stay at the party where she had called me from. I followed her location to the alley where the police were told they could find her. Chase was there with her.”
Skyler sniffles. “I didn’t know, Ethan. Her clothes were torn. She had blood and bruises everywhere. Mascara streaked her face blended with tear tracks. Her hair was a matted mess. When I got to her car she wasn’t breathing.” She hiccups the last word.
I’ve never seen Skyler this broken and it’s fucking killing me.
Skyler grabs my face with both her shaking hands, her beautiful eyes red and puffy, pleading with me. “I didn’t know, Ethan. I swear to all that is holy, I didn’t fucking know she had gotten that bad. I thought she was out drinking, but I had no idea Emily had gone and gotten herself into so much trouble. I’m so sorry I didn’t help her. I should’ve forced her to spend more time with me, or-or gone with her to keep her out of trouble. Something. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She keeps repeating her apology until finally she stops talking and buries her face in her hands as she lets herself grieve.
Wrapping my arms around her, lifting her legs, I stand and turn putting her in my lap on the bed and hold her while she cries.
I don’t know how long we sit like this. I want to let her do what she needs to do to feel better.
“You never grieved for her, did you?” I ask, sure I already know the answer.
“It came in stages. I cried sometimes when I was alone in my apartment, blaming myself for not knowing, not being there to save her. I know that probably makes me an asshole friend, but if I’m completely honest, I hated Emily for a while. If she hadn’t gotten with Chase and gotten herself hooked on his drugs, she would still be alive. Our baby would be healthy, happy, and in school by now. I wouldn’t have had to leave you or my family behind, while people thought I cheated on you and ran away with the bastard. I wouldn’t have had to keep secrets for the fucking club so my uncle and Hawk didn’t get thrown in jail, and a war between clubs could be prevented.”
“How was Hawk going to go to jail?” In everything I’ve heard over the last few days, no one has mentioned Hawk being involved.
“He was a prospect at the time. He helped Ghost dispose of the body. Prospects always get the shitty jobs.”
Anger courses through me. “Hawk knew about Emily and what happened to you? Chase’s death? Why didn’t he ever tell me?” He’s been my closest friend. He saved my ass when I was spiraling out of control. And all this time when he knew I was going out of my mind, he knew what happened and he didn’t tell me shit.
Skyler grabs my face in her soft hands, pulling my face to hers. “He was a prospect. He didn’t have club business privileges and he wanted his patch. Think back to when you were a prospect. Did you ever tell anyone about the shit you did or what you saw?”
She’s right. As a prospect you keep shit to yourself to prove your loyalty. If you can follow the rules, not bitch, and moan, and keep shit quiet, you’ll get your patch and only then will you be trusted to know what’s said at the table.
“No.”
“Hawk was patched in a couple days later and his first job was to take care of you. To make sure you didn’t do something stupid like hurting yourself. Hawk was meant to get you fighting again. Keep you healthy. And when the time was right, convince you to prospect for the Kings.”
“How do you know all this shit?” And why does it feel like my becoming a King was orchestrated form the get-go?
“It was my only stipulation when Gabe told me I had to leave.” Sky swallows hard, nervous.
“What stipulation is that?”
“I agreed to leave and stay gone, so no one could question me about Chase or the club’s involvement if Gabe agreed to watch over you, keep you safe and fighting again. And the last part of the deal, I made Gabe promise to make you a King because I knew you would need support, a family. People to rally around you and keep you from throwing your life away.” Sky releases my face, her hands wringing the edge of the towel.
“I asked him to give you my family because I knew you no longer had yours. Just because I had to give up my dreams, didn’t mean you had to.”
This woman!
I’m caught between wanting to kiss the ever-loving hell out of her for giving me such a precious gift and spanking her ass for thinking my dreams and well-being are more important than hers.
“So, now you see why you should still hate me and this thing between us can’t work. And it’s okay. I don’t blame you. This whole situation could’ve been avoided had I been a better friend to Emily.”
“Okay. I’ve heard enough!” I turn Skyler’s body so she’s straddling my lap. It’s my turn to grab her face in my hands and make sure she’s paying attention.
“None of this is your fault. You were right. Emily made this fucking mess. She should’ve come to you or me and told us she was struggling. But her getting sucked in is what caused all our problems. Chase attacking you and losing our child never would’ve happened if Emily had fucking told us she needed help! You never would’ve hunted her down putting you in front of Chase in the first place. He never would’ve hurt you and you never would’ve known the guilt that comes with taking a life. Even if the son of a bitch deserved it! So, no Skyler, this situation was not your fault.”
“You were in the wrong place at the wrong time because of two other people’s stupid ass decisions. Their fucked up decisions forced your hand. But baby, I don’t blame you for Emily’s death or her decisions. She chose her path. It hurts to know she suffered through her shit alone, but she chose that! Not us. We did what we thought we had to get through it all.”
“Does this mean you forgive me?”
“Sunshine, there’s nothing to forgive. You did what you thought you had to with the hand that was dealt to you. The only thing I want from you now is to let me love you. Let’s put all this shit behind us and move forward---together---you and me the way it was always meant to be. But I do have something else I need you to promise me from here on out, Sky.”
“What’s that?”
“No more secrets. No more lies between us. Even if it’s club shit. I can’t tell you everything, but you can’t go making decisions without talking to me anymore. If we’re doing this thing, we’re doing it the right way, together. You got me?”
“I got you.”
Kissing the breath out her, I flip us over placing her beneath me on the bed. It all started out slow, kissing, touching, reconnecting with one another. But her needy whimpers and moans sparked something inside me, and I had to have her. Now.
Pulling the towel open, baring Skyler’s beautiful body, I start kissing my way down every creamy inch of skin. When I reach her phoenix tattoo, I take my time, tracing the intricate lines with my tongue.
Taking a closer look, I notice letters written in thin lines of the feathers. Initials. My initials. Leaning up on my elbows, I ask, “You inked my initials into your skin?”
“Yes and no.” She must realize my confusion and goes on to explain. “I wasn’t sure what the baby was going to be, but I had decided I was going to name him Ethan James after you if it was a boy, or Emily Jane, if it was a girl. But when I lost…when the baby passed, I wanted a reminder of our child. I didn’t get to bury the baby, so there’s no headstone in a cemetery anywhere. No urn on the mantel. But it didn’t feel right to not have something to show we created a life together.”
“So, you put the initials on your body as a permanent memorial.”
“Yeah.” I take her mouth in another brutal kiss.
“Thank you.”
I scoot back down her body, placing a kiss on the initials, brushing my finger over the tattoo silently vowing to give her the child she desperately seeks to have. The thought of Skyler round with my baby sparks something to life inside of me.
Cupping her ass with one hand and splaying the other across her belly, I bring her pussy to my face and feast on my woman, taking my time to enjoy her taste on my tongue. It doesn’t take long before Skyler shatters in my hands, her orgasm wracking her body with small aftershocks.
Leaning over the top of her, I smile down at her pleased when she smiles back at me looking half-drunk.
She tilts her hips up, wrapping her legs around my waist, rubbing her clit along the head of my cock. When she moves a little further teasing her entrance with the now pulsing head of my cock, I slam my hips and thrust inside her giving her what she wants.
Skyler meets me thrust for thrust, crossing her ankles behind my back holding me to her as if she’s afraid I’m going to pull away.
Not a fucking chance in hell.
I slow my thrusts, bottoming out with every downward stroke, hitting the sweet spot inside of her. Her head tilts back, her mouth agape, whispered apologies and I love yous pass between us.
“Come for me, baby. I need you to come.”
As if her body knows to obey, she comes apart, her pussy squeezing me like a vice. Her juices dripping down my balls. Two more thrusts and I follow her over the edge, spilling everything I have into her, sending up a silent prayer for another child to be made between us.
*********