4. Casual Eating
4
Casual Eating
We spent eternity in the tower kissing. I wanted more than his teasing touches, but I stuck to the boundary he’d set between us. Not that I would complain. Ben was an amazing kisser.
When we finally separated long enough to regain our bearings, he mentioned the late hour. We walked back to my house in contented silence, hand-in-hand. My stomach fluttered with butterflies the whole way.
As he walked me to the door, I had a moment of panic. Should I invite him in? Was he expecting me to?
My conflicted thoughts were unnecessary; Ben kissed me sweetly, ending it before we got carried away, then said, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
Slipping my hands around his neck, I pulled him down for another kiss. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, and he groaned. He cupped my ass, surprising me with his boldness. My shock gave way to desire as he used his grip to pull my hips against his in a deliciously slow grind.
He broke the kiss, his chest heaving as our foreheads met. “I have to go.” His words were less of a statement and more like a plea. “I need to go while I still can.”
I nodded in understanding. My emotions battled with my will, my body pleading with Ben to give in. But there was a sense of relief as well. I needed him to leave, neither of us ready for what could happen if he didn’t.
But, damn, I wanted him to stay.
Or at least, most of me did. A slight shiver of trepidation trickled through the back of my mind as his erection shifted against my hip.
Cupping my face, he pressed a sizzling kiss to my lips. He whispered a goodnight against my mouth. I thought I said it back, though my brain was fuzzy, drunk off his scent and touches.
He chuckled and pecked my mouth again before heading back to his car. Before he climbed inside, he paused to send me a wave and a shy smile.
I stood in the doorway until he pulled away from the curb and his car disappeared down the street. I waved as his taillights winked in the distance before ducking quietly into my dark house.
Leaning back against the door, I heaved a huge sigh.
I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but my mind raced a mile a minute. There was a lot to digest. I scrubbed my face with my palm as I reviewed everything that had happened in that tower, everything that had been shared between us.
Once in my bedroom, I didn’t bother changing into my pajamas. I dropped my jeans and removed my sweatshirt, leaving me in my shirt and boxers. I plugged my phone in to charge and clicked off my lamp, burrowing under my cool covers.
As I settled into the mattress, our exchange in the tower drifted through my mind. I’d never had anyone kiss me like that, like we were the only two people in the world. It was new and frightening, and even though I didn’t know how to trust him fully, I wanted to figure it out. I didn’t want to lose him or this feeling. Not ever.
I woke from a hazy dream full of color, laughter, and the ghost of Ben’s hands on my skin, and I smiled. Even though it was all in my head, I could still smell his spring soap and feel the softness of his lips on my mouth.
Had that actually happened?
As my awareness peaked, I blinked the sleep from my eyes and stretched. My muscles moaned in bliss as my joints popped, and I released a contented squeal as I melted into my mattress. I had a good feeling about today. Or I was still running on the high of Ben’s kisses from last night.
Patting my hand along the mattress, I found the edge of my side table and snatched my phone. I checked the time on my screen, groaning when I saw it was a little before eight o’clock.
Way too early for a Sunday morning
An unopened text message from Ben waited on my phone. The timestamp was from early this morning, presumably before he went to sleep. Just seeing his name on my screen was enough to send my heart into outer orbit. I was so gone for him already.
Ben: Sweet dreams, Si. Goodnight.
A giddy grin spread over my face as I typed a quick reply.
Silas: Sorry, I just saw this. Goodnight and good morning.
I assumed he was still sleeping, but the conversation bubble appeared next to his name a second later. My stomach somersaulted, nerves exploding in my gut and fluttering through my limbs. The anxiety was rather silly, seeing as I’d spent quite a bit of time last night getting up close and personal with his mouth. But last night felt like a dream, so even though texting him should have been a cakewalk, the nerves remained.
Ben: Good morning.
That was it? Just, good morning ? That was anticlimactic. And annoying.
My phone vibrated again, longer with a different rhythm this time. I almost dropped the damn thing as I scrambled to answer the call.
“Hello?” I said breathlessly.
“Hey.” Ben’s husky voice was thick with sleep, and the enticing sound made me shiver.
“Hey,” I echoed stupidly.
He chuckled. “You sound tired.”
I tucked my phone beneath my ear as I sat up. “Well, someone kept me up late making out, so what did you expect?”
“Sorry,” Ben said quietly, a hint of a smirk in his tone. “Shall I keep you up late doing other things instead?”
Fire rushed through me as I imagined all the other things we could stay up late doing. Was he seriously going there right now?
“What exactly did you have in mind, Benjamin?” I breathed the words, my tone dripping with innuendo.
He choked, coughing hard. “Shit, I didn’t mean—that’s not—oh, God, I did not call you for phone sex, I swear.”
I fell back on my bed, laughing as he sputtered mortified denials. I could almost feel the heat of his blush radiating through the phone.
“That’s really too bad,” I said, unable to stop myself from teasing him. “I bet we’d be pretty damn good at phone sex.”
“I, uh, I’ve never had phone sex.”
His innocent confession made me smile, and I dropped the sass. “That’s okay. I haven’t, either.”
“That’s really not why I called.”
“I know that. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
“I don’t wear panties.”
“Damn, maybe I like a boy in panties.”
“Not that I’m kink-shaming, but I don’t think I want to wear women’s underthings.”
I muffled my laugh in my pillow. “Underthings? Seriously? You’re such a nerd!”
“Come on.” The gravel in his voice made his laugh ridiculously sexy. “ Panties is a terrible word! Like curdled or phlegm .”
“Okay, note to self: don’t use the words curdled, phlegm, or panties when I’m trying to seduce you.”
“And we’re back to phone sex.”
“Hey, you called me, mister.” I sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. “Don’t get cold feet now.”
An exaggerated sigh echoed in my ear. “Okay, well, I only called to see if you wanted to get breakfast, but now I’m rescinding the invitation.”
“Like a date?” I asked, trying to smother the nervous excitement bubbling in my chest.
A pregnant pause followed before he cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, like a date. If you want.”
“I’ve never been on a date,” I admitted.
“Well, then it’s about time that changed.” Sheets rustled on the other line as he shifted in his bed. “I’ll come pick you up in an hour, if you want.”
It took all my self-control not to do a victory jig in my bedroom as I kept my voice calm and collected. “Okay, cool.”
“I figured I owe you. You know, for keeping you up late making out.”
I bit my lip and dropped my voice to a purr. “Trust me, baby, I’m not opposed to you keeping me up late.”
“Stop trying to have phone sex with me!”
“Oh, it’s gonna happen. It’s practically expected of boyfriends.”
The moment the words left my mouth, my eyes widened, and I bit my tongue hard enough to hurt. I pulled the phone away from my ear and smacked myself on the forehead.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
“Uh, I mean—erm…”
“Is it?” Ben said, voice a little shaky. “I’ll try not to disappoint then.”
Wait, what? My heartbeat kicked into high gear, but I tried to play it cool. “You wanna be my boyfriend?”
“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”
“I, uh.” My brain glitched, my throat closing up in panic. “I mean, we could, um, do that. If you want.”
“I want,” he said.
“Okay,” I said breathlessly.
“How about we talk about it at breakfast?”
“Breakfast is good.”
“Good. I’ll see you in an hour?” He phrased it like a question, and I nodded before remembering he couldn’t see me.
“Yeah, okay,” I agreed verbally.
“Okay,” he said. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
A nervous sweat collected on my hands as I placed my phone down on the side table. Holy shit, had we just agreed to be boyfriends? My entire world had been turned upside down in less than twenty-four hours. I didn’t think my heart could handle it.
With only an hour to get ready, I sprinted to the bathroom to take a shower. I rushed through the motions—taking extra care to wash my groin properly on the off-chance Ben and I messed around—then leapt out of the shower with suds still clinging to my calves. I brushed my teeth twice and sprayed an unhealthy amount of deodorant under my pits.
To my utter shame, I went through three different outfits before settling on my favorite skinny jeans and one of my nicer indigo sweaters. I teased my hair with wax until it was styled to perfection. After one last perusal to ensure I looked presentable, I grabbed my phone and rushed out of my room.
“Bah!” I cried as I almost crashed into my dad. He barked an indecipherable curse as I stumbled into the wall to avoid the collision. To cover up the blunder, I leaned against the wall casually. “Hey, Dad, you good looking man. Happy Sunday.” I clicked my tongue like a pretentious frat boy, shooting a finger gun at him.
Dad stared at me like I’d lost my ever-loving mind.
“Heading down for a morning cup of coffee?” I said, trying to stop the flow of words but somehow having lost control of my mouth. “Cup of Joe? Cup of java juice?”
“What”—he glanced around in utter confusion—“is happening?”
“Nothing. Just making casual conversation,” I said. Casually .
“Right.” His eyes narrowed as he studied me suspiciously. “Why are you awake so early? Are you... are you going to church?”
“What? Church?” I glanced down at my outfit in horror. Oh my God, I did look like I was going to church! “Is this a church outfit? Seriously? Dammit, Dad! Now I have to change.”
Without awaiting a response, I charged back into my bedroom and shut the door firmly behind me. I stripped off the stupid sweater and rifled through the pile of discarded clothes on my bed until I found the green, long-sleeved shirt near the bottom. I donned it quickly as I checked the time on my phone.
Ben would be here soon, and Dad was awake and downstairs. Shit!
I cursed under my breath and rushed from the room as the doorbell rang. “I got it, Dad. I-got-it-I-got-it-I-got-it!”
I practically tumbled down the stairs in my hurry, but I managed to catch my footing at the last moment so I wouldn’t break my neck.
“Silas, would you slow down? You’re gonna kill yourself!” Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Dad crossed his arms over his broad chest and scowled. “What in the blue blazes—”
“I’m going to breakfast!” My volume was too loud. I slipped on my shoes as I repeated myself at a more natural human decibel. “I’m going to breakfast. It’s no big deal. You know, just breakfast. Casual eating.”
I shrugged on my autumn bomber jacket since my winter coat lay forgotten and wet in my duffel bag in Mabel’s backseat.
Dad’s dark brows threatened to rise to his hairline. “Casual eating?”
Backing away, I nodded. “Yeah, that. Um, I’ll be back later. Don’t know when. Just later.” With my hand on the doorknob, I smiled through an embarrassed blush. “Good talk. We should do it more often. Bye, Dad!”
“Sila—”
I cut off his voice as I squeezed through the smallest crack in the front door and slammed it closed behind me. Spinning around, I yelped at Ben’s proximity, mere inches from me. He smiled cautiously as he lowered his hand, poised mid-air as he prepared to knock.
“Hey,” I greeted.
He tucked his hands into his coat pockets as his lopsided grin widened. “Hi.”
Mist billowed before my face as I released a shaky breath, my voice weak and pathetic. “Hey.”
“You already said that.” Amusement lapped playfully in his ocean eyes.
I forced my buzzing nerves to calm as the winter chill cooled my warm cheeks. “Oh, yeah. Right.”
The curtain in my peripheral view wiggled, and panic seized me. I grabbed Ben’s arm and dragged him off the porch, ignoring his chuckles as I slipped on the packed snow of my driveway.
“Careful.” He caught me with an arm around my waist, and I grumbled inaudible insults as he snickered. “I’d rather you not die on me quite yet.”
“Oh, but I’m allowed to die on you later? Good to know.” I batted away his grip and yanked the passenger door to his car open.
Circling the nose of his Impala, he straightened the gray beanie on his head as loose curls escaped its confines. “How about no dying at all. Deal?”
“Just get your ass in the car.”
I slumped in my seat as I glared daggers at the covertly parted curtains of the front window. As I subtly hid my face behind my hand, I silently urged Ben to drive away quickly. My dad was as bad as my nice, yet nosy neighbor, Mrs. Kolkowski.
Whether he heard my telepathic encouragement or not, Ben backed out of my driveway. I breathed a sigh of relief as my house disappeared into the distance behind us. He drove slower than usual over the snowy roads, and his usual calm behind the wheel gave way to wary vigilance.
Right, he wasn’t used to driving in this weather. I would offer to drive next time to ease his obvious discomfort.
“So, uh, good morning.” He glanced my way quickly before refocusing on the road. “You look nice.”
My neck heated at the compliment, and I fought the overjoyed smile pulling at my mouth. “Oh, this old thing? Thanks.” We laughed as I waved superfluously over my thin jacket. I leaned forward to peek at his cream sweater under his unzipped coat. “You look nice too.”
“Oh, uh, thanks.”
With pink cheeks, Ben navigated through the light morning traffic. My heart kicked into high gear as his hand snuck across the center console to tease the back of mine with his index finger.
I accepted the unsaid offer, shifting my hand until our fingers twined, and tingles shot up my arm as our palms met.
Damn, I thought this only happened in romance books. Apparently, I was wrong. I settled into my seat as I directed Ben to my favorite breakfast place, our hands entangled between us the whole drive.