Every Hidden Truth (Far From Ruined #2)

21. Encased in Shadow

21

Encased in Shadow

For New Year’s Eve, Ben and I planned to meet our friends at a bowling alley downtown. I was terrible at bowling, but I was going to put on a brave face because the group was excited. Since everyone would sleep at Ben’s after, I packed an overnight bag before tromping down the stairs.

“I’m going to Ben’s. Probably won’t be home till tomorrow,” I said as I slipped on my shoes.

Dad shifted his attention from ESPN, one thick eyebrow arching. “You’re staying the night?”

To avoid a rerun of the worst conversation of my life, I corrected my statement. “Everyone is. It’s a group sleepover, not a boyfriend sleepover. Scout’s honor.”

He snorted as I raised my right hand, palm out. “You’re an adult now, Silas. If you want to spend the night with your boyfriend, I’m not going to stop you. Just be safe and don’t do it on the couch where I can see it.”

“La, la, la, I’m leaving now!” I sang, shrugging into my coat, and he waved.

“Have fun.”

When I got to Ben’s, I parked on the street and took my bag inside. I walked in through the garage, calling a hello to anyone who might have been home. Since Ben’s Impala had been the only vehicle in the drive, I assumed that Uncle Henry and Aunt June were still at work.

I found Ben in his bedroom, lying amidst an explosion of Legos as he listened to heavy metal music. At my appearance, he jumped and sent me a sheepish grin, hands freezing in the assembly of something round and gray.

“What are you doing?” I asked around a laugh, and he blushed.

“Building the Death Star.”

“You’re such a nerd,” I said, and his ears colored to match his cheeks. Hunkering down beside him, I knocked his shoulder with my hand. “Can I help?”

With a giddy smile, he nodded. We didn’t have to be at the bowling alley yet, so we finished construction on the Empire’s weapon of mass destruction. Ben, of course, followed the instructions. I added a hot tub on top.

“You realize that’s physically impossible, right?” Ben said as we cleaned up the Legos. “Like the water would freeze, and if it didn’t, you couldn’t enjoy it because you’d have to wear a protective space suit.”

“Ben.” I cupped his face in my hands. “I adore you, but you have no imagination.”

He scowled. I smiled and pecked his mouth.

“Now, let’s go or we’ll be late.”

With a naughty gleam in his eye, he tugged me down to the carpet until I was on my back. Straddling me, he settled his weight on my hips and smiled mischievously down at me.

“This okay?” he asked, wriggling in my lap to indicate his weight on top of me.

Framing his waist with my hands, I took inventory. I didn’t feel any type of panic or trepidation. I could still move pretty freely, and honestly, could I even pretend to complain when I had my gorgeous boyfriend in my lap?

“Yeah, I think so. If it stops being okay, I’ll tell you,” I said, and his naughty grin returned.

“Excellent.” He leaned down and kissed me. “Wanna sixty-nine before we go?”

I smiled against his lips. “Is the pope Catholic?”

“My God, I hope so,” he said as he worked to open my jeans.

Throwing my head back, I laughed into the ceiling.

After somewhat sloppy mutual blowjobs, Ben and I cleaned up and redressed. When I offered to drive his Impala to the bowling alley, he hesitated, but since he was less steady on snowy roads, he relinquished his keys.

Even with the impromptu sixty-nining, we were only the second couple to arrive. Julian and Iris were already filling in the teams on our reserved lanes as we got our bowling shoes from the front counter. We searched for balls in the racks in the back—and, yes, I did make a pun about it. Ben rolled his eyes.

With my glittery purple, twelve-pound ball in hand, I sank into the seat beside Iris.

We made awkward small talk as Julian and Ben split those attending the night’s festivities into two teams. Kim, Caroline, and Jordan trickled in as we finished entering the names on the board, and Harris arrived a minute later.

Per usual, Ronnie and Esther were the last to show.

I made sure Esther and I were on the same team, which meant Ronnie and Ben were with us too. Jordan joined us, leaving Kim, Harris, Caroline, Iris, and Julian as our competitors. Julian and Ronnie trash talked as Kim and Caroline ordered drinks and snacks for the table. It was decided the losing team would pay the tab at the end of the night.

“I suck at bowling, so we’re totally gonna lose,” I whispered.

Esther laughed. “Speak for yourself. I’ll make sure we win.”

Sure enough, Esther was the best bowler on our team, and I cheered as she achieved a strike on her first throw.

“Holy shit!” I clapped along with the others as Ronnie kissed Esther’s cheek. “You weren’t kidding.”

She shrugged, a pleased smile playing at her mouth. “I’ve been in youth group since sixth grade. This”—she waved at the lane—“is what we do.”

Handing her a cup of soda, I crunched our plastic cups together. “Well, here’s to riding your coattails for the rest of the evening.”

True to my word, I sucked royally, rolling gutter-balls more often than not, but I didn’t mind failing when it meant Ben would help me. He stood behind me, shadowing my every move as he tried to show me how to aim.

Like with his teaching on billiards, I was too distracted to soak in his wisdom. Instead, I drank up his warmth and the smell of spring soap.

Despite Esther’s valiant efforts, our team still lost, but I beat Caroline, thirty-two to thirty-one, so I wasn’t the worst loser of the group.

Back at Ben’s house, we bundled up in coats and gloves, then stood in the backyard, watching the fireworks. As the sky lit with crackling greens, blues, and whites, Ben framed my back with his body and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. His breath fogged the air beside my eye, his cheek pressed to my temple, and I hooked my hands on his forearms crossed over my chest.

At even intervals, he kissed my cheek or squeezed me tightly, as if to remind himself I was really there in his arms. I grinned and leaned into his body, secretly loving the way he held me. In the moments I wished he held me more securely, he tightened his grip and nuzzled my ear, like he knew my thought without me voicing it. He’d always had a knack for reading my mind. Half the time, he knew what I needed before I did.

As the sparkling explosions reflected in his eyes, I devoured his features. The second he felt me watching him, he met my gaze with a lopsided grin, and I returned it. Our eyes locked in a silent conversation I could never explain with words, but Ben didn’t always need words.

He cupped my cheek, his thumb grazing the rough hint of stubble scattering my jaw, then connected our lips. It was the barest of touches, soft and sweet, and I sighed pathetically. His kiss communicated exactly what my heart yearned to hear, the words repeating through my mind as we moved in sync.

When we inevitably parted, it was bittersweet, but the overwhelming joy lighting his face as his forehead met mine filled me with airy contentment. Maybe we weren’t forever—we were young and stupid, after all—but whatever this was between us was real. Even if it ended in flames and heartbreak, it didn’t diminish what we cradled in our hands right at this moment.

He was everything, and I’d fight for every second he gave me.

Later, after we’d ushered in the New Year with cheers and kisses, we got ready for bed. I changed into my pajamas and used the toilet, checking my phone for the expected but unwanted text. Unknown hadn’t disappointed.

Unknown: Happy New Year, Brigs.

I ground my teeth in frustration. Any doubt that Unknown knew who I was evaporated as I read my last name. Damn it.

Silas: Fuck off! If you text me again, I’m calling the cops.

It was an empty threat, but Unknown didn’t know that.

Forcing all thoughts of Unknown from my mind, I swapped places with Ben so he could take his turn in the bathroom. I crawled into his bed and snuggled into his bedding as my stomach flip-flopped with nerves.

Ben joined me in the bed a moment later, the room dark except for the dull light peeking through the crack left in the bathroom door. I accepted him with open arms as he curled himself around me like a python. His head rested on my chest, his hair tickling my chin, and I wrapped my arm around his shoulders as my free hand twined with his over my stomach.

“Goodnight, Silas,” he murmured, loud enough for my ears only, and I smiled into the darkness.

“Goodnight, Ben.” I stared at the black ceiling until the snores of our friends revved through the air and Ben’s breathing deepened.

When I was sure he slept soundly, I pecked the top of his head and whispered my confession into his hair, a secret encased in shadow. “I love you.”