Chapter 12 Eavesdropping
Eventually, we separated, and I slid off the bed.
I wandered into the bathroom and found a small, soft guest towel and ran it under the hot faucet.
Grabbing another towel, I headed back to the bed.
Lily was drowsy, but I washed her intimate places then tucked her under the covers.
She rolled to her side and slid her hand under her head near her pillow with her eyes closed.
I traced her cheek with my hand and removed some hair from around her face then sat on the edge of the bed just watching her sleep. Words couldn’t express how I felt when I saw her like that. She was out of it and by then I was wide awake.
After ten minutes, I was still sitting there.
I felt like I was sobering, but I was dehydrated.
Quietly, I slipped out of the room and closed the door.
I headed back to the fridge to find something non-alcoholic to drink.
As I neared the main living space, I heard Jack mention Lily’s name.
My pace slowed as my curiosity took over.
I wanted to hear what he was saying without him knowing I was there.
“It was effortless, Cody, even then, and as young as I was. I don’t think any man would ever have the choice of loving Lily.
With her, there isn’t one, it’s more like a compulsion.
I feel for you, mate. It must be torturous to live in such close quarters with her all the time and have that depth of affection for her.
Maybe if you had more space from each other, it would help you to sort your head out.
Maybe you’d move on and find someone to share your life with. ”
A silence fell between the two men, and I stood motionless with an ache in my heart that they were talking about my girl and how they felt about her.
My temper flared. I had always thought Jack and Lily had something that was more than just friends.
However, seeing how Jack took care of Mya and how close they were reassured me.
His love for her was definitely the real deal.
I was glad to see how he had handled Rick during the game when Rick dared him to kiss Lily.
Since meeting Mya, Jack’s risqué behavior with Lily had tamped down a lot. She wasn’t his first concern when we were together, not like it used to be. Even when he’d been with his previous girlfriend, Lily used to come first. Not anymore.
Cody, on the other hand, was a whole other entity I had to deal with.
Cody and Lily were band mates, and Cody was fiercely protective of her.
All the guys in her band were. However, it was Cody who Lily always turned to for comfort and reassurance out on the road.
They had a connection that made me wary of him.
So far it hasn’t been sexual, but I think if Lily ever made the first move, Cody would find her irresistible.
I remembered a time we were standing at a distance watching her interact with fans, and he admitted to me he’d loved Lily.
Knowing that scared the shit out of me because I couldn’t be with her all of the time.
So, I did what any self-serving Alpha male rock star would have done, and told him if he fucked her he’d be dead.
Since then a lot has happened, and I knew that what Lily and I had was very real.
Sometimes I wonder if Cody had ever told Lily how he felt.
If he did, Lily never mentioned it to me.
It was weird, because sometimes when I saw him, I wanted to beat the living shit out of him for loving what’s mine.
Then other times, when Lily was all over me, and I’d catch him watching, I almost felt sorry for the guy.
I’d be devastated if I had to watch her with someone else like he did.
One positive from all the attention Lily got was that I never took her for granted.
She had my full and undivided attention, always.
Like I said before, she’s everything, and whenever she walked into the room, my world stopped revolving.
She has never failed to have that effect on me, and I thank my lucky stars for the chain of events that brought her into my life.
Cody cleared his throat and spoke in a low slurry murmur, but I still made out what he said.
“She’s deliriously happy with him, Jack.
Knowing that is enough for me. I love her that much.
A girl like Lily is beyond my reach. You know Alfie threatened me once, warned me off her?
I was pretty stoked when Alfie said that to me because I knew then that she wasn’t making a mistake in giving her heart to him because he felt the same. ”
I’d heard enough, so I coughed to warn them I was coming and walked into the living room. I was going to pretend I’d heard nothing but Jack twisted his body and flung his arm over the back of his chair to face me.
“So exactly how much of our conversation did you hear, Alfie?”
I wasn’t going to lie to him, so I looked him square in the eye and spoke honestly.
“Pretty much from the point that loving Lily is compulsive.”
Cody stood up and swayed on his feet. He looked shocked and had the grace to look slightly embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, dude. I have no right to talk…”
I put my hand up to silence him and opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water.
“It’s okay, Cody. You weren’t giving him some revelation about yourself I don’t already know. What can I say? I feel sorry for you buddy because it’s never going to happen; you and Lily.”
I think had I been completely sober and I hadn’t just been intimate with Lily, he may have gotten a completely different reaction, but in a weird way I was kind of glad we were revisiting that night. It gave me a chance to clear the air before their band, XrAid’s, upcoming tour.
Cody wandered to the door and hesitated. He turned and looked back at me, and his eyes were glazed from all the booze he’d consumed.
“Alfie, most guys would have fucked me over for what I’ve told you. Guess you have bigger balls than them.”
I snapped the water bottle open and took a long draw of the icy liquid then stared pointedly back at him.
“I already fucked you over when she decided she was mine, dude. I’m not going to kick a man when he’s down, that wouldn’t be a fair fight.
You accepted Lily’s decision gracefully, so don’t do anything to change my judgment on that and we’re all good.
The sooner you realize Lily’s never going to be back on the market, the sooner you can learn to move forward, buddy.
Now, I don’t want to bring the tone of the weekend down but I have to say this since we’re putting it all out there tonight.
You ever abuse your position with her and cross the line, you’ll find out just how big my balls are, Cody. We clear on that?”
Cody stood stock still, and I could see him digest what I’d just said, then he swallowed hard and nodded.
“Crystal, Alfie. Lily’s off limits. I’ve always known that. I’d never act on my feelings. I’m not stupid. I see the bigger picture in this as well. Not only would I lose the valued friendship I have with her, and you for that matter, I’d lose the guys in XrAid if I fucked that up.”
“Goodnight, Cody. This conversation never happened and tomorrow we can all go out and have some well-earned fun.” Cody turned and walked out of the room.
Life with a band on the road can throw many temptations in your pathway, and it became insane at times when we all got stir crazy.
Especially being around each other all the time.
The flip side was that it got pretty lonely at times too.
Lily and I didn’t want to be apart, so we planned for me to travel with her for a while.
I wanted to write new material for my band, Crakt Soundzz’s, new album, and what better way than to constantly hang around the one woman who inspired me.
Of any man I had ever come across, Cody was the one I regarded outright as a potential threat to our relationship.
If Lily and I weren’t as tight as we were, I’d never have left her alone with him.
Cody was a nice guy. But I didn’t trust he’d always be able to curb his feelings for Lily without sharing them with her.
Knowing he still felt the same about her made me certain I’d made the right decision to go on tour with them.
Seven weeks is a long time, and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust Lily. I just didn’t want to be without her.
A few moments later, I heard the main cabin door close. Jack turned to look at me, and I thought he was going to have plenty to say about the conversation he’d just heard. When he drew in a deep breath, I was ready for an ear bashing about how shitty I’d just treated Cody.
“Alfie I don’t love Lily the way you or he does.
I need you to know that. Once, when we were teenagers I thought I did.
And, there were times when I was confused and wondered if my feelings for her ran past our mutual affection.
Those feelings were so strong sometimes that I thought I had fallen in love with her.
As soon as I fell for Mya, I knew the difference. I’m not in love with Lily.”
“So why do you feel the need to tell me that?” I asked as I wandered over to sit on the sofa opposite him.
He shook his head and shifted in his chair so that his body was facing me and put both feet on the floor.
“I just want to say it once and for all so that you can strike me off your list. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you sit around, quietly sizing up every man in the room when Lily is present.
It must be difficult to watch her have that much attention.
I imagine it’s quite an alien position to be in, for a guy like you.
I mean almost every hot looking woman on the planet and then some, lust after you, yet the one woman you want is also wanted by so many other men. ”
At first I thought he was trying to get a rise out of me but I realized this was a serious conversation.
“Listen carefully when I tell you this, Alfie. Lily loves you beyond all doubt. No matter who’s there and who’s looking at her.
Sure, they lust after her. But believe me when I say this.
She only notices how you look at her. She only cares about how you feel about her.
She only wants you to lust after her, wants you to love her because Lily only loves you. ”
From my perspective, I’d never been insecure with any woman until I met her, but then again, I’d never loved a woman until I loved Lily.
Maybe that’s why it was the one part of my life I’d never felt in control of.
Fighting for her over such a long time made me realize it didn’t matter how successful or famous I became, it meant nothing without her to share it with.
“Point taken, Jack. You’re the best friend she’ll ever have in her life. I won’t fuck with that. I get it. It’s just sometimes doubt creeps in for me because I’m afraid it’s too good to last, you know?”
Jack smiled and sank back into the cushion.
“Indeed. But none of us know how long forever is, or what shit life will throw at us. Just accept she’s yours, Alfie, and let everything else wash over you. As far as Lily is concerned, everything is yours.”
My respect for Jack rocketed at his mature philosophy about how to live with loving someone as enigmatic as Lily. We shared a quiet moment then he moved to stand, and I followed.
“You never need worry about Cody. Lily probably knows how he feels, but in my opinion he’s inconsequential to what you both have. Give the poor guy a break. He’ll get over her, eventually.”
Jack stepped forward and gave me a tight hug.
I felt the sincerity in it and knew that if, God forbid, Lily and I ever hit a rough patch he’d be the intermediary who would bridge a gap between us.
If I had any doubts about him, he’d clearly dispelled those with the much needed pep talk he’d given me.
Jack stepped back and smirked again, and I knew instinctively he was going to lighten the mood again.
“I think you have had all the bromance you can take for one night, Alfie Black, super dick… I mean rock star. Snuggle down behind that sweet little body waiting in your bed. Hold her tight, man. I’ve been neglecting mine for far too long with this shit tonight.”
Jack turned, sniggered, and swayed his way down the hallway until he found his door. On the first try, he missed the handle, and that made me chuckle. He caught it on the second attempt and stepped inside. I reached over and turned the lights out before taking Jack’s advice and going back to bed.