Chapter 15 Invisible Obstacles
Three hours later we had learned a lot about our two fans, debated guitars, our favorite bands, songs and musicians, and we were all stinking drunk, even the girls. Our waiter arranged taxis back to the cabins, and we bid our farewells to Malden and his buddy, John.
Lenny fell in the snow when he tried to get out of the taxi and took several attempts to get up.
He staggered towards his cabin with a backward wave of his hand.
He was so drunk he couldn’t even articulate where he was going.
Rick, Jack, Cody and Dave all headed for Rick’s cabin, and the girls followed Lily to ours.
“You coming?” Rick asked shoving his hand in one pocket and taking several attempts at finding the other one as he swayed on his feet.
“Naw. I’m heading for a nap, dude. I’m wasted,” I replied weaving my way towards my cabin door.
“I’ll leave the door unlocked, in case you change your mind,” Rick said as he tripped over his own feet and landed flat on his back in the snow.
“Fucker. Who put that there?” He mumbled.
I tried to focus and looked around him for what he’d stumbled over but the ground was completely flat, and I guessed it was an imaginary obstacle he’d fallen over.
I made sure he was on his feet and watched as Jed appeared and placed Rick’s arm over his shoulder to help him inside.
Turning around I did my best to stay on my feet and headed inside to Lily and the others.
Dita had obviously been there again, having piled a buffet dinner of beef, chicken and what looked like ribs, and the smell of baked potatoes could be identified from the moment I’d opened the door.
Wandering into our bedroom, my intention was to take off my shoes and pull on some sweats but I sat on the end of the bed and can’t remember anything else from that point.
I must have passed out. When I woke it was an hour later, and I was bursting to pee, so I eased my way off the bed and wobbled unsteadily to the bathroom, hanging onto the furniture like a small child learning to walk.
I knew I needed to drink water, so after relieving myself I headed to the fridge in search of a bottle.
All the girls were sprawled out on the sofas and floor, but they were slightly more with it than us guys were. I pulled two bottle’s from the fridge and wandered over to Lily handing her one as well.
“Drink,” I smiled.
Lily tugged the hem of my t-shirt and pulled me down to flop beside her.
“Kiss me.”
Cupping my hands to frame her beautiful face, I gazed into her bleary blue eyes and grinned at how drunk she was.
“You sure I won’t be taking advantage of a drunk woman?”
“Hmm, Alfie, that’s kind of what I was hoping might happen.”
Tenderly, I moved a wisp of her hair away from her face while our eyes were still locked in, and our mutual gaze grew in intensity.
“Thank you for picking me.”
Lily’s choice of words tugged at my heart. At the beginning, when Lily and I had a less than committed relationship, I had tried to reassure her during an argument when she’d seen me with other women. I had remarked honestly to her, ‘They chose me, but I picked you.’
I knew that Lily hadn’t put any slant on her comment, but it still squeezed at my heart that I’d said something like that to her. She was the one woman I’d never want to hurt, and at the time I knew I had.
Before I could apologize again for that, Lily pulled me closer and licked her lips as she studied mine then reached up and pressed them to my closed lips.
In a split second her tongue was tracing the seam of my mouth, and I hurriedly poked my tongue inside hers to clash with her tongue.
My senses became more alert. No matter how drunk I was, Lily’s touch or kisses always stirred a reaction from my body. Tonight was no different.
Lily moaned into my mouth, then broke the kiss. I noticed the other women in the room had fallen silent, and I turned to look at them.
“I’m not apologizing for kissing the love of my life, ladies,” I stated, as solemnly as a drunk man could. Emma’s face flushed a little and shifted in her seat.
“I think it’s amazing, Alfie. My only wish is to find a guy like you. I love how you aren’t afraid to show people what Lily means to you.”
Meeting Lily’s gaze again, I grinned and rested my head on her forehead. “I’d ask you to dance, but I’m not sure we wouldn’t fall over.”
Her eyes searched mine, and she gave me another soft kiss and pulled back. I tried to kiss her again but she dodged my lips, her head skimming past my face as she moved away.
“Don’t, Alfie. I want to spend some time with the girls here. If you don’t stop, we’ll be in bed, and us girls only have a little time together.”
I tried not to show my disappointment at her rebuttal and lay down on the sofa facing the ceiling.
Lily took my head in her lap and began to stroke my hair while Emily began to talk about Dave and how their unlikely relationship as a couple had gone from friends to much more.
I lay listening to her talk affectionately about him and was surprised to learn that it was Emily that instigated a night of passion between them at the beginning of their relationship.
Somewhere during her explanation I fell asleep again and as I was waking for the second time since we’d got home it was Mya’s voice that intruded into my consciousness and began to drag me out of my semi-comatose state.
“I knew how it was between Jack and you, Lily. I had a guy friend just like your relationship with Jack. I’ve never felt threatened by you.
I think when you find the right person you just know, and I know that Jack’s love for me is every bit as strong as mine is for him.
This sounds arrogant, but it doesn’t occur to me that Jack would stray. ”
Lily shifted a little on the sofa, and her palm rested on my head while it still lay across her lap.
“Jack is Jack, Mya. He may appear one way, but I know that if he gave you his heart, that’s it. He’ll never want another woman. It took him a while to find you, but I’ve never known him so contented and committed to anyone the way he is to you. He’ll never stray. He’s not the type.”
Emily cleared her throat; “I worry about that with Dave at times. He’s so flirty and acts like one of the lads.
I’d never say one hundred percent that he’d be totally faithful to me.
Don’t forget I’ve been around him for all of his adult life and watched him operate.
He and Jack used to pick up women as easily as ordering drinks from a bar. ”
“You’re blind if you think that, Emily,” Emma barked.
“I agree with Emma, Dave thinks the sun shines out of your butt,” Mya said concurring with Emma. Lily surprised me when she didn’t.
“Sorry, but I get where Emily is coming from.” Lily’s tone was flat.
In a quieter tone that was supposed to evade my ears, she continued, “I feel like that about this one sometimes.”
This one, meaning me. I almost moved to reassure her when all three girls disagreed with Lily’s assessment of me.
“No way. That’s never going to happen. The guy totally dotes on you, Lily.”
I felt Lily draw a deep breath and exhale in a long agonized sigh.
“I wish I felt as confident as you all do. Alfie is an incredible man. Look at him. He’s everything.
Everything. Sometimes when I see how women look at him, or grab him, even just try to touch him, it makes me feel sick.
I worry that at some point his head will turn.
What happens when I get older? What if I don’t do…
kinky things he’s done with other women?
Do you know how it feels to live with someone and wonder every day if that’s the day he wakes up and realizes you’re not good enough for him anymore? ”
Lily adjusted in her seat, and her uneasy thoughts weren’t suppressed in her body language. There was tension in her thighs that hadn’t been there, and her hand was resting just that little bit heavier on my head. I was about to sit up when Emma spoke again.
“Have you ever thought that Alfie may have the same insecurities about you, Lily? That some other celebrity may muscle in and sweep you off your feet? Look at you. You and Alfie are the perfect match. Two equally beautiful, talented people with good hearts. You belong together. The way you look at each other…it’s uncomfortable for everyone else when you both get ‘that look’ between you. ”
Lily must have been shaking her head because Emma said, “Don’t shake your head, Lily. To that guy there, you are the only woman in the world. You are his everything.
Lily argued further, “I’ve seen them. You have no idea how many women hit on him in a twenty-four hour period.
Even when I’m with him, I’m not a deterrent.
It’s like I don’t exist. They throw themselves at him, pass him telephone numbers and want their arse or boobs signed.
Some even offer to blow him in front of me.
He’s had women feel him up and try to sit astride him when I’ve been sitting next to him. ”
Emily had been sitting quietly listening to the others before she added her observations.
“What about you, Lily? What about the guys that are constantly staring at you? What about all those guys that pass you their phone numbers, hang around you and try to get a few minutes of your time. How about you consider what that may be like for Alfie? You’re a musician as well, and you have more male fans than female.
You travel in a band full of men. What about Cody? ”
The fact that Emily mentioned Cody made my heart pound in my chest. What did she mean? “What about Cody?” Had they had conversations about him before?
Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat again, and I heard her swallow audibly.
“I can’t help how someone else feels about me. It isn’t reciprocated. We’re close. I don’t know what else to tell you. He’s very dear to me and I love him, a lot. But I could never be in love with Cody.”
“No? Why not?” Mya asked loudly.
“Shh.” Lily shushing Mya made my heart stutter, and an uneasy feeling ran through me.
The pace of my heartbeat picked up again, and I had to concentrate to keep my breathing steady.
The last thing I wanted was to alert Lily that I was awake.
I shouldn’t have been listening to their conversation.
It felt sneaky that I was. But Lily sounded anxious that Mya had hit a nerve, and I knew I was going to hear exactly what Cody meant to Lily.
“Cody is…amazing. He’s got everything Alfie has in bucket loads.
Intelligent, kind and he’s definitely charismatic.
I also love how protective and reassuring he is with me when we’re on the road.
He has a good heart, and I love him to bits, but he’s not Alfie.
Cody is someone else’s man. I’m not attracted to him like that. ”
There was a brief pause while Lily spread her fingers and sifted affectionately through my hair again, then she continued.
“Have you ever looked at a man and your only thought has been FUUCCK? Just…fuck. Because the way he’s been put together stops your heart for a split second.
Then, when it kicks in again, heat, desire and want flood over every inch of your body.
You’re rendered speechless because your mind flips to some instant fantasy that consumes you before you’ve even interacted with him?
And when you finally get to thinking again your mind is blank, and all you can do is drool?
Alfie Black did that to me. He still does that to me.
Every single time he walks in the room. I’ve never met a man before or since that can hold a torch to him.
I mean that killer smile, those dimples, tattoos, piercings and all on a man that hot already, right? ”
Hearing how I still affected her meant the world to me. Any doubts I had disintegrated at that moment.
Emma cleared her throat and gave a small giggle. “Damn Lily. You lucky bitch.”
Lily stopped sifting my hair in her hand, and a soft laugh escaped her throat.
“I know, right?” she chuckled sounding like she couldn’t believe it herself.
“I’ve never thought like that about Cody.
When I met him, I saw him for what he is—lead singer in a band.
I recognized instantly that he had all the necessary components for success in that role.
He’s a stunning looking man with the same kind of animal magnetism that draws women like moths to a flame.
Alfie and Rick have it as well. However, on a personal level?
He’ll make someone’s world for sure. Never mine.
Nothing in me is interested in him beyond what we have. That’s never changed. Never will.”
My heart swelled at how clearly Lily was able to articulate her thoughts about me, us and her feelings for Cody.
I felt guilty for listening to their private conversations but satisfied that Cody was no threat to Lily’s and my relationship.
And strangely, once again I felt sorry for him for loving what was mine.
Mya yawned, and it sounded like she was stretching.
“Sorry ladies I need to find Jack. I want to go to bed and despite what my uncle Rick said, I think Jack could find himself out of his depth with my uncle when he’s drunk.”
“Me too, I’ll come with you. I expect Dave will need to be carried home as well.” Emily said.
“Alright, Lily. Best you get that stud off to bed. I’m going to bed, too.” Emma’s voice sounded wistful.
She was a lovely girl, but she was pretty introverted compared to the rest of the group. Until she’d kissed Rick the night before, I’d never seen her with anyone.
Lily shook me then bent her head, her breath fanning over my face. I made a show of stretching and Lily shoved me harder. “Come on, Alfie I need to get you to bed.”
A slow grin spread across my face.
“Hey,” I said softly when I opened my eyes and found her face inches from mine.
“I’m not going to say no to that am I? I love when you’re needy,” I whispered and felt a shiver run through her when my hand ran up her back and clasped around her neck. Lily smiled, and my stomach tightened.
“Smart mouth,” she giggled softly. “Come on, let’s get you naked.”
I loosened my grip around her neck and traced her collar bone. Without further conversation, we linked our fingers together and headed to the bedroom.