Chapter 11
11
L ucas’s phone seemed to singe his leg where it rested in his pocket. He ignored two different texts—one from his mom telling him they’d had a change of plans for his dad’s birthday party, and another from his prospective boss, checking in with him about his thoughts on the assistant’s job. He wasn’t sure what was going on with his dad, and he didn’t know what to do about the job. He felt suspended above his life, watching scenes play out beyond his control, balanced on a razor’s edge of change he didn’t want. He’d decided to stick his head in the sand instead.
He was bowling that night with Eric, along with Joan and her friends Kendall, Gwen, and Maria. Maria’s boyfriend, Jay, had joined them, as well as Martin, the nurse from Joan’s rehab unit.
The joint had the sort of dingy look common to bowling alleys, with faux wood tables, chipped plastic seats that swiveled in place, and the general air of smokiness despite a semi-recent remodel and the fact that indoor smoking was no longer legal in the city. Lucas didn’t mind. He loved a good competition.
He found himself watching Joan and Martin interacting as they tied their shoes next to each other. Martin looked like the sort of sweet, attentive type Joan usually went for. Something about it bothered him, though he couldn’t quite puzzle out why. He rubbed his chest. Their conversation about her problem—vaginismus, she had called it—loomed in his thoughts now. She’d clearly been distressed about it for years, and that troubled him.
Joan caught his eye and waved at him. He smiled back at her, determined to appear unruffled. He didn’t know what was wrong with himself, anyway.
When Gwen arrived, she squealed and threw her arms around him, pulling him toward her. Joan’s friend Gwen was usually a prickly person, but for some reason, she loved hugging Lucas. He didn’t object. He loved hugs.
“Where’s Jackie?” he asked Gwen, ruffling her hair. Then his stomach dropped. He hoped he wasn’t making the same mistake here that he’d made with Joan’s brother. Though maybe a breakup would be for the best. To hear Kendall, Joan, and Maria talk, you’d think Gwen’s girlfriend was little better than trash stuck to the bottom of an old shoe.
“She’s, uh, busy tonight,” Gwen said. She looked away then grabbed a seat in one of the plastic chairs.
Lucas stepped into the circle of bowlers and rubbed his hands together.
“Here he goes,” Eric said. “His time to shine.”
Lucas frowned. He did like the spotlight sometimes, sure, but it wasn’t the worst quality, right? He shook off the sting.
“Alright,” he announced. “Let’s figure out the handicaps here. Usually we do two hundred minus your average, multiplied by eighty percent. If you don’t know, just give me your best guess. We can do four teams of two with a combined score.”
“In that case,” Kendall said, “put me down for two hundred.”
Eric tore a piece off his soft pretzel. His white teeth flashed as he tore into a bite. “Just give her a handicap of a hundred since she’s a beginner. We can work with that. Probably fifty for me. We can get better numbers after we play a round or two.”
“It’s funny that you think my only problem is being a beginner.” Kendall plopped down on the other side of Joan. She was one of Joan’s only tall friends, though her leg length still fell short of Joan’s as she stretched out beside her. Kendall wore hot pink pants and a T-shirt with Dolly Parton’s picture on it. Her nails matched her pants.
They split into groups of two, and to his disappointment, Joan played with Martin in the next lane. He’d always loved watching Joan compete, and they made an excellent team together. He shook off his irritation.
He got paired with Gwen instead, and they played alongside Eric and Kendall.
Kendall whooped in delight when she knocked over two pins. Everyone cheered for her, including those in the other lane. She lifted her arms at Eric.
“Are y’all entertained yet?” she yelled, and Eric buried his face in his hands.
“My teammate is bananas,” he said.
“You haven’t seen anything, I promise.” Gwen patted his leg. “She’s amazing.”
Lucas laughed. Kendall was definitely the boldest of their bunch. Eric was too easygoing to care that he and Kendall weren’t winning, so they made a good team.
He glanced at Joan again, who high-fived Martin. Her competitiveness transformed her into a different person. His affection for her bubbled up, spilling into the space around him as he watched her. She’d piled her blonde hair up into a high, messy ponytail that somehow managed to look cute. Occasionally, he was struck by the fact she was a beautiful woman, but he always shoved the thought down into a box he never examined, at least now that they were adults. He tended to observe it in a detached way and then discard it again. He looked away to dispel the errant notion. Sometimes his thoughts seemed like runaway trains, veering off without his permission.
They all reconvened after the first game. He and Gwen had won their match handily. They decided to have some snacks and drinks before forming new teams.
He looked at Maria’s boyfriend, Jay. Jay had a tall, rangy build and also happened to be the only Black ER doc working at his hospital, and his dedication to serving his community rivaled that of anyone Lucas had ever met.
“I’m glad you guys came out tonight,” Lucas said. “I know Maria likes her quiet nights.” Maria was the most introverted of Joan’s friends.
“She does like her evenings in,” Jay said.
Lucas’s eyes flicked back and forth between Maria and Jay. Maria’s face stretched into a tight smile. That was strange. Jay had almost sounded a bit sarcastic, and he’d always been soft with Maria, at least when Lucas was around.
“How are things at the hospital?” Jay and Maria worked together downtown.
Jay threw a tense look at Maria. “I’m at Baptist now, actually. But things are going well there.”
“Wait.” Joan set her bottle of water on the table in front of her. She swiveled to face Jay. “You left Westview?”
Jay pulled his collar away from his neck. Maria remained a concrete pillar next to him, pinching a fork tight between her thumb and index finger. Jay looked at her, perhaps hoping for assistance, but she didn’t speak.
“I needed a change.” He cleared his throat. “Felt like it was time.”
Joan and Gwen exchanged a confused glance. Lucas felt like he’d waded into mud again.
“Do you two miss working together, then?” He gestured between Maria and Jay.
“It’s been okay,” Maria said. “The new ER doc thinks I’m his sassy Black friend, and I could do without that. But otherwise it’s fine.”
Gwen frowned. She started to say something then closed her mouth again. Lucas stood up from his seat to get bottled water, hoping to diffuse some of the weird tension that had descended on the room.
“Alright, then. New teams?”