Chapter 9
DARWYNN
I may have pushed the limits.
No, not maybe. I definitely have.
He didn’t look happy after what I said, and I definitely interpreted everything the wrong way.
Shit, that’s embarrassing.
And not to mention, wrong.
My cheeks flushed, and the nervous tingles all over my body didn’t feel as good as usual.
I wanted to run and hide, but Caspian was pulling me toward the tiny house I was staying in, ready to lock me up and never let me out again.
I guess he was just doing his job as a grandfather. Making sure I was safe and not doing anything stupid. I was only twenty-one, after all.
His grip around my hand was tight, and once we reached the few steps leading up to the door, he stepped behind me to guide me up. His hands were on my hips, making sure I wouldn’t bolt. But I had nowhere to run, no other option than to let him handle me the way he was.
I was ready to pull out my key and unlock the door, but he didn’t give me time to do that, either. He turned me around, and I stood with my back against the wooden door and his body right in front of mine.
His brown eyes were darker than usual, even with the motion sensor light above our heads shining down on us. His right hand gripped my hip, and his left pressed against the door next to my head.
“Say it again,”
he demanded, his voice low. Raspy. Fuck, it was so damn hot.
I knew what he wanted to hear.
And, instantly, I knew where this was going.
Holy. Shit.
My heart was racing, and I was pretty sure it was about to explode in my chest.
“Say. It. Again.”
His words were sharp this time, and his jaw clenched.
I slowed my breathing before my lungs started to hurt, and then I whispered, “I said, if you want to be alone with me, you just have to say it.”
The tip of his tongue came out to brush his bottom lip, and I stared at his mouth, amazed at how insanely hot a man his age could be.
His left hand moved, and I felt his fingers wrapped around my throat seconds later. His mouth was on mine without a warning, without giving me time to process what was happening.
But it didn’t push him away.
I kissed him back, melting into him as I lifted my hands to rest them on his hard chest. His muscles flexed under my touch and the fabric of his shirt, and he took one more step toward me, pressing me harder against the door.
His hand around my neck tightened, and he deepened the kiss skillfully by tilting his head to the side and dipping his tongue into my mouth to swirl around mine.
I moaned, unable to hold back my emotions. Surprised but mostly shocked by how good it felt, I kissed him as passionately as I could.
He kept me there, with one knee pushed between my legs and my pussy pressing against his thigh. His right hand came up to cup the side of my head, his fingers pushing into my hair. He was now holding my head in place, and I was unable to move. It was all him, and I let him do whatever he wanted.
The taste of whiskey on his tongue made me want more, but I wasn’t sure how that would be possible. The way he kissed me was intense, and no guy had ever taken control over me like Caspian had.
Another moan escaped me, and I gripped his shirt with both fists, tightly holding him there. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted this to continue all night.
He briefly broke the kiss as his head tilted to the other side before his mouth was on mine again. His tongue plunged inside, swirling around mine and showing me exactly what an experienced man like him could offer.
Fuck, this kiss is everything.
His grip around my throat eased, and he slowly broke the kiss, finally letting me breathe again. He stayed close, with his forehead resting against mine and his hands still on me.
I kept my eyes closed, scared I would lose control if I looked into his. There was an intense pull between us. One I wanted to explore, but not before he told me that this kiss wasn’t just a temporary impulse. Or a mistake.
He let out a grunt. His heart was pounding just as hard as mine. But he didn’t say a word. Not for a little while.
The longer we stayed silent, the more this moment felt right. Still, I needed to know that he thought the same.
He took a deep breath, his right hand moving from the side of my head to my cheek. He cupped it gently, with his thumb brushing along my bottom lip. Without thinking too much about it, I wrapped my lips around his thumb and sucked on it gently before letting it pop out of my mouth again, and I finally dared to open my eyes, finding his locked on my lips.
“I shouldn’t have done that, but I’d do it again if you asked.”
Just the words I wanted to hear.
My heart pounded so hard it felt like it had risen to my throat.
Our eyes met, and I moved my hand further up around his neck, needing to get even closer. “I want you to do it again,”
I admitted.
Both his hands dropped to my hips, and he put some distance between us as he took a small step back. “Not tonight.”
Boo.
“Why not?”
“Because if I do it again, I won’t stop. And we both need time to think this through.”
His words were direct but not harsh. He was honest and mature, which, deep down, I wasn’t. I would’ve jumped him in seconds if he agreed to kiss me again.
God, I needed a cold shower.
Good thing this tiny house didn’t have warm water after nine o’clock.
“Okay.”
I pressed my lips together and played with my fingers, avoiding his eyes to not get tempted.
“Go inside. Sleep.”
His demands were as clear as ever, and I had no reason to fight it. Or to ask him to come inside.
“All right. Tonight was fun,”
I told him with a smile. I placed my hand back on his shoulder and leaned in to kiss his cheek before I turned around and unlocked the door. I headed inside and locked myself in, and while I got ready for bed, I knew he was still out there, waiting until my lights went out.
I learned two things about Caspian: he was extremely protective and an insanely good kisser.
***
Bruce Mines was only a half-hour drive from Hilton Beach. We spent the first ten minutes of the drive in comfortable silence until I noticed the maroon baseball cap and dark sunglasses on the bench between us. I smiled and lifted the cap, looking at Caspian as he focused on the road ahead.
“You took my advice,”
I said, looking back at the cap in my hands. “I’m sure people won’t even realize it’s you.”
He didn’t reply. A scoff was all I got from him.
Puckering my lips, I put the cap back down and took in the interior of the old pickup truck he was driving. “Have you had this car for a long time?”
“I got it when I moved to Hilton.”
“So you didn’t have some fancy car when you were still in Hollywood?”
He furrowed his brows. “I always had drivers.”
“Even when you went grocery shopping?”
“I had people doing that for me.”
Of course.
“Right, should’ve thought of that. So then…why do you have a driver’s license?”
I asked, grabbing his wallet from the middle console and unfolding it to find his license.
“Who doesn’t?”
Fair point.
I shrugged and pulled out the card. “Some people never learn to drive because they—”
I stopped as I read the name on his license and frowned as I was hit with a wave of…surprise? Pride? It was something because my heart skipped a beat. “Your middle name is Darwin?”
I turned my head toward him, watching him side-eye me and the card I held. “Why are you looking at that? Put it away.”
I ignored his request and let out a breathy laugh. “My mother named me after you, and you didn’t even tell me. Why? This is so…”
I tried to find the right word as I dropped my gaze back to the driver’s license. “Cool.”
“My middle name was never relevant to me.”
Of course, it wasn’t.
I rolled my eyes. “But you knew, and you didn’t tell me. I’m named after you! We do have a connection after all,”
I said with a bright smile, but it faded once a realization hit. “Why would she do that?”
He knew what I meant. His laugh was dry. “Because it was probably her way of trying to apologize. But when I sent her a letter congratulating her on having a baby, she shut me out again.”
I studied him for a while, trying to determine whether the twenty minutes we had before arriving in Bruce Mines were enough to hear the full story of what truly happened between my mother and him.
“Will you ever tell me what really happened? Mom would never talk about it; I just want closure on that topic. I want to understand why we were never part of each other’s lives, and don’t say it was because you were too busy being a Hollywood actor.”
Caspian’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. His forearms flexed, and his jaw tensed. “If I tell, you’ll dislike your mother even more than you already do.”
He wasn’t wrong about me disliking my mother. But I only disliked her in certain moments. She was still my mom, though a very narcissistic one at times.
“I still want to know,”
I told him, taking one last look at the license before putting it back. “You don’t have to tell me now if you think it will upset me. But…please promise me you will tell me soon.”
He glanced at me and sighed. “Fine.”
Good enough for me.
I reached over and patted my hand on his thigh lightly. “Thank you, Caz.”
His hand covered mine and lifted it to his lips, kissing the back of my fingers. I watched closely, and it looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t.
We sat in silence again. I didn’t allow myself to think about what could’ve possibly been what broke their dad-daughter relationship. I would find out soon enough.