Chapter 13
CASPIAN
I had never seen someone sleep as deeply as Darwynn.
It had gotten late last night after two more rounds of fucking, and since falling asleep in my arms, she hadn’t moved even an inch. Her breathing was shallow, and I had to check if she was still alive by holding a finger under her nose. She was breathing, but she did it so damn quietly. Almost as if she didn’t want to bother me by making even the smallest sound.
Something about that made my heart squeeze.
She either learned to be quiet because of others telling her she was being too loud—which should never be the damn case—or that was simply how she breathed, and I was looking too much into it.
It was probably the latter, but I liked to believe that Darwynn was very aware of other people and what could bother or annoy them.
She was selfless. I learned that about her quickly.
That was one of many things I adored about her.
Adored.
Shit.
That woman crawled under my skin, planted herself there, and made herself comfortable. And I let her.
Even when I got up from bed one hour ago, she hadn’t moved a muscle. I slid out from under the covers and walked out of the bedroom as quietly as possible. Though, I was sure that not even a damn marching band would’ve woken her.
I made myself a coffee and grabbed the latest newspaper from the table before heading outside. I sat on the porch, sipped on my coffee, and read half of the damn newspaper, and when I started to miss her body pressed against mine, I headed inside to slide back into bed with her.
“Incredible,”
I murmured with amusement, looking down at Darwynn as she kept sleeping, as if that’s all she’s ever done. She looked so damn content. So damn happy.
I put my arms around her and pulled her body flush against mine, needing to feel her warm skin on my own. Wrapping her arm around my waist, I held her hand on my chest while resting the other on her back. I caressed her, moving my fingers up and down her spine and along the curves of her waist and hips.
More time passed, and while my mornings usually consisted of sitting on the couch or casually strolling around the village, I liked this type of morning more. I wanted tomorrow to be the same, the next day, and the next.
Fuck, I wanted to watch her sleep every morning.
I closed my eyes and let the minutes pass, not caring about any other thing I could’ve been doing instead. This was good. We were good.
She finally stirred, making the sweetest noises as she looked up at me with sleepy eyes. “Hi,”
she croaked out, giving me a tired smile. “Have you been up for long?”
I snorted, unable to hold back my amusement. “You could say that. You sleep a lot,” I said.
She scrunched up her nose and hid her face with both hands. “I’m sorry. You should’ve woken me.”
“You looked way too peaceful to be woken up.”
I reached for her wrist and pulled her hand away from her face, needing to see it. “Have you not been sleeping well lately?”
Her eyes met mine. “No, I’ve slept well. I just like to sleep.”
I smirked, finding it damn adorable. “Fair enough. How are you feeling?”
She stretched her arms and legs, making her back crack. “Good. I’m not sore, which is surprising.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I haven’t had sex in a while, and I thought my body would have to get used to it again. But it felt nice. And I feel relaxed.”
I gently brushed back a strand of her dark hair, caressing her face. “Get used to it,”
I repeated. “So this wasn’t a one-time thing?”
Her brows furrowed as she gave me a confused look, then a hint of panic flashed through her eyes. “Was it for you?”
I didn’t have to think about that. I knew exactly what I wanted, even if I’d go straight to hell. “No, it wasn’t a one-time thing to me.”
Relief washed over her beautiful face, and a small smile tugged at her lips. “Good. It wasn’t for me, either. I’m not the one-night-stand type of girl.”
“Good.”
I smiled back and leaned down to kiss her lips.
All my life, women had only ever been a pastime. Not only because I didn’t want anything serious but also because women saw me as a price. I had the money, the fame, the reputation. I had it all, and the women wanted me to share it. But being used like that didn’t give me the satisfaction I needed. Even quick fucks started to become boring.
But now—now that I was getting damn old—I had changed my mind.
And all because of Darwynn.
“I had a weird dream,”
she told me when I broke the kiss.
“Tell me about it.”
I leaned back against the headboard and pulled her to me. She rested her head on my chest and placed one hand on my stomach.
“It was about Mom. She came here to Hilton Beach to visit us.”
She stopped, and I saw a deep frown between her brows when I looked down at her. “Which is something she definitely would never do.”
Because she didn’t want to see me.
I stayed quiet, caressing her back and waiting for her to continue telling me about her dream.
“She was…mad. Upset that I didn’t go home when I promised I would. And then she screamed at me. And…then she called you an asshole.”
“Of course.”
I took a deep breath and tightened my arms around her. “Sounds like her.”
Darwynn turned her head to look up at me. I hated the hint of pain in her eyes. Sure, it was just a dream, but her mother—my daughter—had always been like that. Towards me, at least.
“I really want to know what happened between you two. I only know Mom’s side,”
she said, eyes searching mine. “She said…she said that you never cared about us. That you only ever cared about your career.”
Darwynn’s voice was hesitant as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to say it out loud.
I let out a slow breath, pressing my lips together. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard those words, but hearing them from Darwynn—hearing that they were still being spoken, even after all these years—stung me more than I wanted to admit.
Darwynn studied my face, searching for something. Maybe the truth. Maybe a reaction.
“I don’t know why she still says that,”
she murmured. “I mean, I’m sure you were busy…but I can’t imagine you never even visited Mom.”
I took another breath. I wanted to tell her the truth. Tell her how things really were, but I wasn’t sure she could handle the truth.
“And I know you’re not a bad man. I mean, you didn’t push me away. You were grumpy, yes, but you still let me stay. You could’ve ignored me when I showed up, but you didn’t.”
Because I never wanted to ignore you.
I reached for her hand, running my thumb over her knuckles. “Your mother has always had her version of things. But the truth isn’t as simple as that.”
She sat up slightly, her expression sharpening. “Then tell me.”
I hesitated. The truth wasn’t something I’d ever planned on forcing on her. But she was here, asking for it, and after all these years of silence, maybe she deserved to know.
I kept holding her hand while running the other through my hair. I took a deep breath, meeting her gaze again. “When your mother found out she was pregnant, I wanted to be there,”
I started. “I wanted to be there for my daughter. To be a supportive father, and to be there when my granddaughter was born. But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want me by her side. And, yes, I was always busy with my career, but I always made time for your mother. And for her sister. For my family, I always made time. But she didn’t see it that way.”
My voice cracked, and I felt more vulnerable than I ever did.
I moved my gaze to the wall ahead of me, unable to look into her eyes full of emotions.
I never allowed my career to take over my private life, but in a way, for my daughter, that’s what had happened. But I had always been there. Always called or picked up her calls.
But then she fell pregnant, and everything changed.
I couldn’t blame Darwynn’s father. The bastard wasn’t around. Didn’t even care about Julie being pregnant. I decided not to give that fucker any of my time, but through all of that, I was there for Julie.
“I strongly believe that your mother has issues with herself. She was angry at your father when she was pregnant with you and pushed everyone away that meant something to her. Me included. I guess I was her punching bag.”
Darwynn frowned. “Is that true?”
I gave a humorless chuckle, my emotions uncontrollable. “I was ambitious, and I poured my damn heart out into my career. But I loved my family more. At times, I thought she’d come around. But when you were born, I tried. I really tried. She wouldn’t let me see you. I sent letters and messages. I showed up, but she shut me out at every turn.”
Her fingers tightened around mine.
“She told me you never tried,”
she said softly. “That you didn’t care about me or her or anyone.”
I shook my head. “I never stopped trying. But at some point, after almost a decade, I had to accept that she wouldn’t let me in.”
Silence settled between us. I could see the conflict in her eyes. The years of believing one thing and suddenly being faced with another.
“She lied to me,”
Darwynn finally whispered.
I exhaled, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Maybe she just needed to believe it was true.”
She pulled away slightly, shaking her head. “No. No, she made me believe that you didn’t want me in your life. That you didn’t care.”
“Darwynn.”
My voice was steady. “I have always cared about you. Even if I wasn’t there, I cared. And I thought of you. Often. I know I’ve been cold and broody when you first showed up here, but I just couldn’t imagine you were here to get to know me. I thought you were here to treat me the same way Julie has. So I put up a wall. Feared that I’d get hurt again.”
My intentions weren’t to bring tears to her eyes with my words. I was being honest, but I was making her sad, and I hated seeing her like that.
“Darwynn, please,”
I begged, cupping her cheeks with both hands. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t,”
she assured me with a tight, sad smile. “It’s Mom I’m disappointed in.”
Her gaze dropped to my chest, and it took everything in her not to let those tears roll down her face. We didn’t speak for a while. Then, she let out a shaky breath and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my middle.
I held her close, feeling the weight of years between us. Maybe this moment didn’t fix everything. Maybe it wouldn’t change the past.
But at least now, she knew the truth.