Chapter Eight
“ S o… what you’re saying is, I’m part Fae?”
“Not just part Fae. You’re a full-blooded Fae. And royalty. The rightful heir to the Everguard throne.” She’s speaking more quickly now, like she’s held onto these words for a lifetime and can’t hold them in a moment longer.
“But that can’t be. This doesn’t make sense.” I try to count the years since I came of age, but it’s been too long to count under duress. “Any magic would’ve shown itself during puberty. Everyone knows this.” What I don’t say is this is actually when many villagers fall ill and die of mysterious illnesses. The rumors that circled spoke of Fae magic misfiring. Killing those who were burdened with magic, but Thaliya sees the fear before I fully comprehend it. “Am I going to die?”
Everyone knows the Fae have been cursed, the dark magic that flows through their veins twisted them into something unnatural. This is why Father came to Everguard in the first place, to rid the people of such a scourge.
“No, Rowandine. You will not die. You are not sick. In fact, you’ll probably long outlive us all.” She gathers my hands into her own, and I can feel the love and sincerity flowing from her.
“Everything you know of the Fae has been a lie. Everything you know of Everguard is skewed to protect your family.”
I hear what she doesn’t say—that my father rewrote the history of an entire realm.
“Your mother, by birth, knew the obstacles you’d face as you grew up. She bound your magic tightly to your heart, so it would only unfurl if your life was threatened or you loved deeply. I can only imagine the trials you faced at Avicii’s hands.”
I look up, stunned that she could guess at something I’ve locked so far within myself, even I can’t recall the worst of it.
“But now, your magic has fully awakened, and now it is time.”
Fully awakened? Parts of this conversation feel familiar. But how can that be? This is all new. Before this, I was just a woman trading her princess crown for a farmer’s trowel and hand rake. A woman who spent time with her husband when he was in between tasks for the king.
Avicii. Did he know?
After all this time, small pieces of that last day I saw him keep trying to wriggle free of the chest I locked them in. Moments I still don’t want to remember.
And now, magic pulses beneath my skin.
The garden. I could grow anything in that garden. We always had plenty to share with families around us who needed it. But today, I actually felt the earth sing beneath my skin. The last time I felt this was—I shake that day off, but not before the look on Avicii’s face resurfaces from where I buried it.
Buried . Wrong choice of words. A shiver dances up my spine.
The thoughts in my head are a maelstrom. I try to grab onto one that makes sense .
“Time?”
“Time for the Fae to return to their rightful place. For you to return to where you were meant to be. For you to take back your throne.”
I reel back in the chair, letting the soft cushions swallow me. I stare at her a moment, replaying what she just said. Thaliya, who I trust more than anyone—who I’ve never once questioned—sits before me telling me the impossible. This is all too much.
“But if I’m Fae— if my family finds out—” I look up, hoping to find a gentle answer on her face, but she nods, solemnly confirming my fears. I nod along with her, but for a different reason.
“They can’t find out. I can’t take the throne. I can’t do what you ask of me. I’m just a gardener. I’m just a healer. I’m promised to another realm. I have nothing for the people of Everguard. Nothing.”
Suddenly, the office that has always been my haven is too small. The hazy warmth of the fire becomes stifling. I open my mouth to say something to Thaliya, but can’t decide what should come out. Waiting a moment, I close my mouth once more. She watches, waiting for me to gather my thoughts. I know she wants me to stay and ask questions. Be a part of what she asks, like I’ve always done before. But this time she’s asking too much.
I lurch for the door, tripping and grabbing for the handle as if my life depends on it. I don’t even turn back. I don’t even respond at all. I leave, rushing out of the healer’s ward as fast as I can, not caring if I draw attention to myself on my way out.
I run through the hallway, unconcerned when heads turn, and not stopping until the chatter in the hallway and the storm in my mind is swallowed up by something else. I dive into the first doorway that isn’t a blur. Falling onto the chaise in the middle of the room. The velveteen pillows dry my tears as I bury my head in them. Fae? Could I truly be Fae? Royalty is something I’ve always been, and to no consequence.
Until now it seems.
I didn’t even ask about my family. What that means. Just the weight of knowing is too much to bear. But I’m curious. Fae royalty, as in Queen Bronwinn and King Azulean? They were brutal and unforgiving leaders. And they were responsible for separating all the races. The shifters now reside in the west, the Elementals and Conjurs in the east, and the Ancients have all but hidden themselves away in the mountainous north. Could I possibly have this all wrong, though? Has everything been a lie crafted by the very man I thought was my father?
This, as well as the thought of me sitting on the throne, is too much to swallow. I’ve always just been a part of the background. My only part to play was to marry, which I did, happily at first, and it only ended in disaster.
Now, though, according to Thaliya, I have a bigger part to play.
Warring with this new knowledge is the thought that marriage to Lysander Sturdevant from Etos is what’s expected of me. My father has arranged it, my family is proud of the match despite me already being widowed, and the people of Merula expect it of me. I’m expected to do what is right and what is best for Merula and the realm of Everguard.
Despite what Thaliya says, my true path is clear. There is only one path to follow. The one that is best for all involved. My sobs fade into sniffles as I make up my mind.
Only then do the calming, melodious sounds register and I realize I’m not alone here.