Chapter Fifteen
“ I f it's a widowed princess they want…” I look down at my dress as Marlys affixes the last black pearl to my hair. Then that’s exactly what they’ll get . After an afternoon of trying to puzzle out everything Thaliya laid out to me, another reminder of my place from my father, and then my fully eye-opening yet incredibly selfish tryst with Thaddeus, this has led me to see what I must do. Thaliya asks too much of me, but she's right on one account—the people of Merula, the entire realm of Everguard, need to be taken care of. I realize the best action I can take is to be the princess our people want to see—happily married off and sent across the sea. I must be the bargaining chip so the people of Everguard remain at peace.
Know yourself, know your path. Thaliya’s words ring in my mind with a tinge of a question. I know myself. I know what I have to do. Her words are a taunting storm cloud above my head. My time in the healer’s ward ticks by. Reconnecting with Licia and Gryphon will only make it more difficult to leave them a second time, and this time, probably for good. And each moment with Thaddeus is a stolen one. Moments I will put in a box and forever hold dear.
So, this evening, the layers of black taffeta and tulle stand for more than what people can see on the outside. The small glimmer of hope for what I saw myself doing has been extinguished. And I’ll learn to be okay with it because this is who I must become. I see now this has always been my path forward.
“Stars fuck me sideways.” I’m pulled rudely from my reverie and self-pity by Licia, who’s fanning herself. “Now, that’s a dress.”
And she’s right, the way the dress fits snugly against my curves while the tulle spills out along the floor like unruly zucchini vines late into summer, is very modest yet—
“Stunning. Absolutely stunning,” she says, frowning at her own reflection, which is beyond words beautiful. On anyone else, the daring cut outs across the front of her dress would look scandalous, but on her, with her petite frame and voluminous hair, somehow she makes it look sophisticated.
“I don’t understand how you’re still here.” My hands circle around the room while Marlys tsks at me to stay put.
“Honestly, I can’t either.” She pouts prettily while her gaze sweeps across our vast chambers.
“But it’s not all bad.” Her frown turns wicked. “A girl has to keep herself busy in such a big, lonely castle.”
And despite my gasp at the admission, I know she doesn’t just mean physically and don’t doubt her words for a moment. I think back to the day in the library and am sure she has plenty of ways to keep busy here. She’s been fighting her own battles here and she’s doing just fine.