Chapter Sixty-One
He takes me off guard by spinning me around and pinning my back against his chest. His strong arms hold me in a mock of a lover’s embrace. Ever so gently, he traces his fingers along my jawline and tucks my hair behind my ears. His warm breath caresses my neck as he breathes me in. “I already know how sweet you taste. I’ve enjoyed all our moments together. Almost so much that I haven’t been able to contain myself.”
His tongue licks up my neck; I can feel a shudder run through him as he runs his tongue over his lips—tasting me and taunting me. Just before his teeth sink into my neck, all my recent days of training with Patton flash before my eyes. It’s been mostly hand to hand combat and sword play. He hadn’t thought to mention how to untangle yourself from the grasp of a creature of the night. Only now do I realize that was stupid. How hopeful Thaliya and Patton had been that Thaddeus would deliver me to my sister without issue.
Realizing Patton’s training would be of little help, I instead grab onto a gleam of a memory. When Gryphon and I would wrestle as children, and how I could often get out of his strong hold by distracting him rather than hoping to overpower him. I try the same tactics here.
I quickly bring my heel up and stomp Thaddeus’ foot as hard as I can muster. He howls in surprise and pain. His grip loosens around my body, but his hand fists tightly in my hair, yanking me off my feet.
“Just be a good girl,” he says as he twists my hair so my face meets his own. “I know you think highly of yourself, but there’s no way you could outmatch an Ancient.”
His words sting almost as much as his grip on my hair.
I think to scream. The others aren’t that far off. They’ll hear me. They’ll come. But as soon as I open my mouth, he sends his knee into my stomach, knocking the air right out of my lungs. As I cough, trying to suck back air, he fists his hands in my hair, closing the distance between my scalp and his grip. Stars spin around me in the darkness, my mind drifts in and out of consciousness.
“You think if you scream, they’ll come?” he scoffs, holding me up by my hair so we stand face to face. My sight blurs and there’s two of him. “You're worthless. I’m doing you a favor by taking you up north. There’s nothing for you here. And no one."
He might be right. The darkness threatens to close in on all sides. I can feel the pressure and the release, both just out of my grasp.
But no.
I try to focus on him, look into his eyes as he says this to me. It’s all wrong. He’s all wrong.
Weeks ago, maybe even days ago, he could’ve convinced me to go along with him. That my role to be played is a passive one. But now, I know my worth and I know what I’m capable of.
And I know this isn’t it. I don’t want this.
I want more.
I’m meant for more.
Know yourself, know your path .
Tears burn in my eyes as the fire along my scalp tears through me. But rather than allow his words to break me, I use the time he wastes describing all the terrible things he looks forward to doing to me to wrap my hand around the gold dagger I know he keeps just inside his jacket.
He’s either too distracted by his own machinations or too confident. Either way, I have just enough time to unsheathe it and prepare to strike. If I can move quick enough, I can swipe fast and hard at his neck.
As I swipe upward, aiming to find his neck, he reads my intentions in my movements and I’m thrown off balance.
I sway in his arms and the force of my imbalance sends us both falling. He pulls me toward him and we fall hard to the ground. I try to put my hands up to brace my fall with my forearms, but—the dagger.
My hand still fists the metal. I cringe and close my eyes as the sound of metal meeting flesh pierces the silence.
My forearms did break my fall, but so did he. I land askew on top of him. My free hand hits the dirt just above his shoulder. I note how cold it is.
But that’s because there’s warm blood slowly seeping out from under my other hand. I can also feel his hair brushing ever so softly against the side of my hand.
Almost a caress. But he hasn’t moved yet. And I haven’t opened my eyes.
I’m afraid of what I’ll find.
Even though my intention was to kill. And he was attacking me.
My thoughts and emotions coil and twist together like a cucumber vine seeking out the sun.
There’s a sharp intake of breath from Thaddeus, quickly followed by a string of curses. His fingers dig into my arms, trying to shove me off. I can feel my skin bruising from his grip while I gather as much strength as I can to finish this fight.
While my mind spins and reels, I keep my eyes closed tight. I don’t want to look, but I know I hit something by the way he struggles to both keep me away and not let go. So I focus all consciousness and effort on driving the blade further into whatever flesh I’ve found. His grip on my hair loosens, and I use that moment to back away, pushing against his chest and the dagger.
My feet refuse to stand so I use what strength I have left to shuffle backward as fast as I can until I’m backed up against a large tree trunk. My palms scrape against the rough trunk as I struggle to pull myself up. My vision blurs as my nails break and skin tears against rough bark as I blunder to find purchase on anything at all.
As I finally find my footing, I venture a look down at Thaddeus, who lies unconscious on the forest floor.
He looks more peaceful than he has in days. So peaceful, I’m taken back to the night we shared in my room. How then, looking at him in the moonlight only made me want him more. But I quickly toss the unbidden memories away.
His hands lay palms open, inviting me back to him. His thickly coiled hair falls around his shoulders as if in a deep sleep.
My eyes then catch on the golden dagger—now sticking out of his left eye.
This immediately pulls me back into the present.
I’m glad he’s gone.
The thought swims through the fog in my head as I stand over an unmoving Thaddeus.
There’s a rustle in the brush surrounding us. I glance over, unwilling to take my attention off his prone form. Vines of the darkest green curl around the edges of the forest floor. Bright red petals wink in and out of the moonlight, reassuring me I’m not alone.
I take one last look at Thaddeus, knowing Baylor will know what to do with him. I turn, heading back toward those waiting for me without looking back. To my family, the ones who know me better than I know myself, and will fight for me to find myself.
To those who are ready to shake up our realm.
Know yourself, know your path.
Thaliya’s words.
My words.