19. A Force of Light and Justice
19. A FORCE OF LIGHT AND JUSTICE
ELOWYN
Our communal panic was an oppressive force, discomfiting as nooses tightening around our necks. Most everyone but me bolted into immediate action. Rush and Larissa sprinted to their sister’s side while West resumed rocking her in his embrace as if she were a ragdoll, her body relaxing to drape limply over his arms. Her head dangled from her neck, her hands dragging along the ground, rustling the grass with her shaking—as if now that the queen was gone there was nothing left but a death rattle. I feared Ramana’s body might already be an empty shell. West trailed trembling fingers along her greasy hair, her hollow cheeks, her cracked lips … her closed eyelids, as if he were picturing what it would feel like never to see light behind them again.
“Stay with me,” he begged his mate in a voice I scarcely recognized as belonging to the strong warrior drake. “Don’t leave m-me again.” When he began a continuous chant of, “Please, please don’t go,” his pain pierced my heart like a poison-tipped arrow.
Rush was bright with thorny vines of silver moonlight crawling along every inch of his exposed flesh, his eyes glowing as intensely as the sun that was about to dip below the tree line. His brows were low, his beautiful lips a devastated line, his stare jumping from me to his sister and back again. He was warring with his instincts, I suspected, the bonded part of him demanding to be at my side to protect me from the invisible threat the queen posed.
“Stay with her,” I mouthed, the commotion loud around us. Recognition registered in those glowing, swirling eyes, but his attention continued to jump from me to her. Perhaps I should go to him, to settle the bond inside him? But my feet were rooted to the spot, something I hadn’t yet identified brewing within me.
My other companions, including Zafi, who was back to being visible, huddled around Edsel, asking urgently for instructions from the healer on how to help, when I understood there was nothing that would make any real difference. The fae who’d already suffered so greatly at the queen’s hands would only have to endure a little longer, then they would be free of their mortal torment. The queen, at least, wouldn’t follow them into the Etherlands.
Absently, I caressed the length of Saffron’s back between his wings, but I had no soothing assurances. The queen wouldn’t rest until she’d used us all to fuel her newly immortal life. The little dragonling vibrated in my embrace as the others cried out their desperation and became more frantic, despondent.
The fae captives thrashed and grimaced against what appeared to be unspeakable torment. My friends’ hands flittered around their shaking bodies. Even those without hands to hold or comfort—Azariah, glued to Bertram’s side, and Bolt and Ivar’s horse, who now wore bandages around a fore- and hind-leg—edged closer, as if also seeking a way to halt the tragedy unfolding in such awful throes.
A crackle of branches and leaves drew my attention upward. Einar was craning his neck low to study the scene. His eyes, stunningly large and dark, glittered with a sadness so profound it made me wonder if he’d felt the decimation of his kind at the command of the royals of Embermere, if he’d perhaps experienced each of the fuerins’ deaths as viscerally as he was those of the fae among us now.
Can you do anything to help them? I asked him. At this point, anything was worth a try.
Edsel was looking at those nearest him, grimly shaking his head in a silent pronouncement, the goblin’s expression as deeply sad as the dragon’s.
Einar sighed a regretful exhale that was a gust that tickled the strands of my hair that had come free of their plait. Several others glanced up at him, the alarm they’d previously shown the giant dragon absent. Despite his size and ferocity, there was no threat to us greater than that posed by the queen .
There is nothing I can do to interfere with the shadow’s hold over them. Not without her here.
I considered seeking a way to summon her here again. But that would only risk everyone else. If she found us, it was unlikely any of us would make it out alive.
I turned toward Xeno, who’d been the only one to remain with Ivar. He was buck naked and barefoot again, meaning he’d expected to call on his dragon. His hands were clenched into fists, the knuckles of his dominant hand bloody. One of Ivar’s eyes was newly swollen an angry pink. A cut sliced open his brow, and blood dribbled from both sides of his mouth. The snakes that wove from his abdomen, while hideously shocking to see, were calm, swaying as if awaiting the directives of their charmer. A glimpse of Hiroshi cradling one of the dying fae possibly explained why.
“Get anything helpful from him?” I asked my oldest friend.
Fury raced across Xeno’s features. “Not yet. I’m gonna shift. I’ll scorch him till he does.”
“Don’t bother. There isn’t time.”
“But—”
“There isn’t, X. Just trust me.”
His jaw clenched but he nodded. With a bulge of thigh muscles, he crouched in front of Ivar to continue interrogating him.
I faced the rows of fae in the grips of seizures. Trust me , I’d asked of Xeno, and he had. Now it was time I trusted myself .
Heat warmed my face. Rush’s stare was on me … but also Pru’s—and Einar’s now followed me like a beam of sunshine. Pru rose from Edsel’s side, wiped shaky hands on her grimy frock, and walked toward me in a somber shuffle of her dragon-like feet. When she sidled beside me, Saffron tightened his hold around my neck. The goblin tilted her head all the way back to regard me. She did so quietly, her silence all the more noticeable for the increasing pitch of alarm buzzing through the clearing. Her eyes suddenly seemed as large as Einar’s as they held mine—and waited.
Before I fully comprehended what she expected me to do—before I realized what I’d apparently already decided to do—I nodded blankly at her, kissed Saffron on that soft crown of his, untangled him from myself, and handed him off to her. She received him and immediately worked to soothe his whining complaints, cooing and cuddling while her gaze remained fixed upon me. I stepped back from the others, carving out some room for myself, careful not to glance at Rush so he wouldn’t see what I was about to do.
What was I about to do? I didn’t really know, but I felt whatever it was bubbling up inside me just the same. Like fizz building in a sealed bottle I was shaking, I would pop when I released … whatever it was.
Commanding my thoughts to hush, I listened only to my instincts, my intuition—to faith even. I blocked Einar from my mind when I felt him reach for me. I heard him grunt aloud but didn’t check. I discovered myself kneeling, then bowing. I stretched my arms out and pressed my palms flat to the ground, touching my forehead to the land. I thought I felt it shudder, but maybe that was me.
I bypassed my former awkward greetings. There was no, Hello, Land. It’s, uh, um, me, this time. I don’t think you need my name or lineage, speaking to the land as I did the dragons, praying it would hear me. You saved my life. I thought I was dead, but you kept me from dying. Did I tell you how grateful I am that you saved me? I don’t think I ever did. I thank you, truly, from the depths of my heart. If not for you, I wouldn’t have ever known true love, not just for my mate, but for an entire community of people and creatures who are fighting to save the light every day, in every way they can.
I didn’t set out in search of a destiny. By sunshine, I didn’t even remotely fathom I had a destiny. I snorted softly, blades of grass tickling my nose and lips. But I see now that it’s come for me anyway. I’m … I’m ready for it. Will you please help me save these fae who are dying? They don’t deserve such a terrible end.
I silenced my mind and waited.
If the ground had shuddered at all, it was still now. In fact, everything was too quiet…
I glanced up and found everyone, even West, staring at me, their expressions a mixture of shock and expectation.
“Don’t stop,” urged Reed. “Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. It’s helping. Look…”
I did. The sleeper fae had ceased their violent shaking. They didn’t exactly appear peaceful, their faces still pinched in pained creases, but at least their teeth weren’t chattering from the force of their seizures.
“Now, lass,” Roan urged sharply. “Don’t ya tarry. The veils to the Etherlands are thinning. They don’t have long in this world.”
I glanced at Rush, who stood halfway between me and Ramana. He nodded encouragement.
Swallowing thickly, I returned my forehead to the ground, dug my hands into rich dirt. My fingers tingled at the touch, then the tingles drifted up my forearms. It was definitely me who shuddered this time.
I told you before that I’m willing to be a channel for your magic. That I’ll defend the fae of the Mirror World with everything I’ve got. I’ll fight to extinguish the queen until her darkness is gone from this place.
I clawed my fingers into the dirt until, damp and cool, it covered my knuckles. The prickling reached my shoulders, continued on toward my chest, crawled up my neck. The land was listening and responding, if not in words.
The queen of Embermere … actually, I should correct that. My mother should have inherited the throne, but Talisa hurt her and stole it from her. I think my mother would have been a good, fair queen. Now we’ll never know. I don’t know how you work, exactly, uh, Land? But I do know if you teach me how to be a good steward, I promise I’ll do my best to be a force of light and justice. I’ll protect the innocent and punish th e wicked. I’ll give you my undying respect. And I’ll take care of you too.
Prickles danced along the entirety of my body. But I’d run out of things to say. I, uh, well, I actually really don’t want to be queen. The swells of my cheeks pressed against the grass when I grimaced. But I do want to help everyone in the Mirror World. I want to free the dragons and the goblins. No one should be a slave. No one should be a servant because they fear for their lives. I, ah, well, yeah, uh, Land… It appeared I wouldn’t escape the awkwardness after all. I just…. I sighed. I just want to help. I want to erase everyone’s pain and take care of them and this place.
Did I really? Fuck, I guess I really did.
So, whaddya say? Will you select me as your steward instead of Talisa? I promise to be worthy of your trust and of everyone who’s to…—I cringed—become my … subject. That would definitely take some getting used to.
The tingles grew stronger. I petered off.
The earth began … undulating beneath my forehead. So very tempted to pull away from the uncomfortable sensation, I forced myself to remain as I was, physically connected to the land.
Tendrils of … something … scratched my skin. I fought the urge to squirm. They felt like worms. Shit, maybe they are worms . My face was planted in the dirt of the forest, after all.
But then the tendrils suctioned to the skin of my forehead and yanked, pulling my head into the dirt until I struggled to breathe, my nose smooshed against it. I felt Rush stir to my aid in a similar way as I sensed the queen when she was near, and prayed he wouldn’t touch me.
“Don’t,” I heard Roan caution, and hoped Rush would listen.
Wave after wave of energy pulsed into me through my forehead to spread to the rest of my body, until I tingled so much I couldn’t feel anything beyond the prickling. I heard what sounded like the queen screaming, and it required all my determination not to twist to seek out assurances that she wasn’t here in the flesh. In the distance, I heard birds flock to the sky in a flutter of myriad wings.
“Keep goin’, lassie,” Roan pressed.
My eyes squeezed shut against the disturbing sensation of having tentacle-like things— tree roots?—suctioned to my face. The land was in control now. I’d offered myself to it, prostrated myself to its will, and I was at its mercy.
A sudden, electrifying current surged through my body. Every hair had to be trying to free itself from my braid to stand on end. Saffron whined before Pru uttered shhhh s in comfort. Everyone was watching, expecting me to save the day when I hadn’t been able to save anyone, barely even myself, since arriving in Embermere.
The energy coursing through me picked up, buzzing like a hive of industrious bees. I clenched my teeth against its intensity. Then pure, blazing fire raced along my skin. It stole my breath, then my scream. I couldn’t move. Just endure. Hope I’d get to the other side of this, whatever the fuck it was.
Child of light. The words traveled on flame. Eternally ancient, they touched my very essence. We accept your offer.
I struggled to hold on as my skin felt like it would soon melt from my bones.
We choose you as our steward, queen of the fae, and representative of the power of Faerie. Your king shall be your reflection, your other half. Together you will banish the shadow. If Einar’s voice sounded like a deep river continually tumbling with a strong current, the land did so too, only thick with nectar, flowing languidly. You are now free of the shadow. And we are now free of her. The shadow feels her connection to us dying. You must go.
My breath arrived in a dizzying rush as the burn faded. The tingles from before remained.
Now!
My eyes jerked open. My body unfurled, rising to my feet. When I wobbled, Rush was there to catch me.
His hands clasped my face. “Are you alright?” I looked back at him but saw only a blur of moonlight and silver. “El.” His hands squeezed, his face drew closer, so that his breath skimmed my flushed forehead. “By the Ethers, El, what happened? Are you okay? Did the map hurt you?”
I blinked. Blinked again. His face came into crisp focus, before it blurred again .
“My love,” he whispered.
After two tries, I got my mouth to ask, “The map?” As if the earth itself were lodged in my throat, my question was a croaking creak of bark.
“It burned bright as the first time,” Rush said, “then faded.”
I sucked in a shuddering breath and widened my eyes.
“You saved them,” Rush mumbled against my lips with adoration. “All but the one who’d already traveled to the Etherlands. Everyone else is alive. They even opened their eyes.”
“That’s … that’s … amazing,” I mumbled. “What … what about all the others? The ones … I was connected to … through the map?”
Rush didn’t answer. Sorrow dimmed his eyes.
They were beyond my reach now.