Fae's Fate: Fated Mates of the Fae Royals (Summer Court Book 7)

20. Ciara

Malachi didn’t look happy about our current predicament, and I couldn’t blame him. He probably wished he was with his fated mate while she was in heat and not babysitting his best friend. It wasn’t as though he’d do anything without permission. Even if I dropped hints, he’d need me to ask before he’d act. Malachi was the best of the best. I trusted him with my life. And I trusted him with my heat. He’d take care of me. If I asked, he’d give me anything. But could I put him in that position as my best friend?

Sir Axis grinned. “Have fun. When you’re ready, we’ll talk.”

I wanted to throttle him. I was ready to talk the moment we arrived. This song and dance we’d put on for him had been just that. Entertainment for the bored Water Sprite Master no doubt. I understood what it was like to have lived for hundreds of years in one place, and by the looks of it the Water Sprites had stayed secluded like us. But Sir Axis was older than me, older than my father from what he’d said about Mother singing at their balls. He comprehended a lot more than any of us too.

But while I focused on those thoughts, a fresh wave of my heat hit me. I placed a hand over my stomach trying to suppress the frenzy pounding inside my womb. It wanted to be filled. Why were Fae heats so dramatic? I’d spent years researching them after watching the way my older sisters struggled with lust and not having a fated mate. It seemed like a cruel twist we befell our heat before we found our mate.

I turned to Malachi. “I’m worried about being in there alone. What if someone gets in? What if…”

“No one will get in. I’ll make sure of it.” He strode toward the door. “Let me make sure no one is in there to start with.”

“Malachi.” I chased after him. “I don’t want to be inside alone. This place isn’t natural. I sense magic at play.”

“I sense it too. We already comprehend they have a barrier like our Veil.”

“There’s more to it than that, but I can’t put my finger on it. And then there’s the way Sir Axis refuses to answer our questions. The way he gave us potions. Why would he do so if he didn’t want us out of sorts?”

“You’re right,” he said. “I won’t leave your side until we get out of here and back to the Summer Court.”

He turned the intricately carved doorknob and opened the quaint timber door. The same luminescent blue that was inside the ballroom lit the room from the ceiling. We stepped inside and Malachi locked the door and tested it twice.

“This is adorable,” I said.

The room was small, but the way they decorated it made it seem spacious. Perhaps it was the expanse of blue water running down the wall as though a waterfall was inside that made me connected to the small house. I walked toward the water, but a fresh wave of my heat hit me, and my legs shook so much I had to pause with one hand on the wall and the other flattened tight against my stomach.

Malachi rushed over to me but hovered with his hands clenching and unclenching by his side. “What can I do?”

I laughed hollowly as my gaze found his concerned face. The way his eyes lit with desire gave me hope, but the way his face then twisted made those hopes vanish into a puff of air.

“I… we…” he stuttered at a loss for words.

I’d never ask him to cross the line of friendship, but I’d thought there was more building between us while we’d been dancing. It must have been the happy potion Sir Axis foisted upon us.

I shoved off the wall and stormed through the next door and found a bedroom. As another wave of arousal hit me, I flung myself onto the bed and gripped the pillow in a tight embrace.

“Ciara?” Malachi said faintly from the doorway.

“Go away, Malachi.”

“But you’re in pain. I can’t stand to see you in pain.”

The anguish in his voice made me roll over and stare up at the thatched roof above my head. This was another cozy room filled with an enormous bed. I imagined they designed it for the way the Water Sprites appeared to take multiple lovers at once. The mattress was soft but firm beneath my back and my thoughts drifted to what it’d be like to be pounded into the mattress. I rubbed my legs together, but it only made the arousal running through me worse.

“It’ll pass. It did last time.” I groaned and rolled onto my side.

Malachi’s footsteps echoed over the floorboards and then he was beside me taking my hand in his. He was always there for me holding my hand through the good and the bad. Tears welled in my eyes.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered.

“This is a mess,” I whispered back.

“It’s not your fault.” He squeezed his fingers.

“But we’re meant to be finding a cure and all I can think about is sex. What it would be like. How it would feel.” My voice drifted out huskier than usual.

His gaze dropped to our hands. “I want to be here for you, but I don’t think I can.”

“What do you mean?” I inched closer toward him afraid he’d disappear, and I’d be alone. All alone.

“Your scent.” He shook his head as if trying to clear it. “You always smell sweet, but right now every time I breathe in its filling my entire body with you.”

“Great so now I smell.”

He chuckled. “Not in a bad way. It’s… delicious.”

“Delicious like a juicy blueberry?” I asked.

He grinned. “Even better.”

“Hmm, I didn’t think there would be anything better for a Fae.”

“Oh, there is, believe me.” His gaze hit my face with the intensity of lust I was experiencing.

Silence descended between us as the air thickened with our desire.

“Malachi?”

“Ciara?”

We said at the same time then laughed.

“You go first,” I said.

“I think I should wait in the other room.”

Everything inside me shattered. “If that’s what you want,” I whispered through the thickness of my throat.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I have to do what’s right.”

He shifted, but I tugged on his hand not letting go and keeping him in place.

“What do you want?”

He shook his head and his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “I can’t tell you, I love you too much.”

“I love you too. It’s important to me what you want.”

He sighed and dropped his head onto the mattress. I reached out with my free hand and stroked his hair. A half moan half groan rumbled from him.

“Tell me,” I pleaded. “We always tell each other everything. I don’t like knowing you’ve kept a secret from me.”

“I can’t,” he mumbled into the mattress. “You should—”

I tugged his hair, so he’d look at me and asked, “I should what?”

“You’re a princess.”

“So?”

“And I’m simply me.”

“You’re special.”

“To you I am.” He eased my hand from his hair and clasped both my hands in his.

“Isn’t that enough?”

“I’m not sure.” He dropped his gaze to our joined hands. “I guess when we find our fated mates, we’ll be special to them too.”

Desperate tears formed in my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them. I wasn’t sure if it was the potion or my heat, but I threw away my hesitation. We had each other and without a doubt, that was enough.

“I don’t want to find mine,” I said.

“What?” His head jerked up.

“I want you.” I shuffled closer.

“You want me?” he asked as though the mere thought was incredulous.

“Aye. I love you, Malachi. You’re my best friend. Always there for me. You understand me more than anyone else does.”

“Your fated mate will do the same.”

“No.” I yanked his hands closer. “I. Want. You.”

He shook his head. “You’re saying that because you’re in heat.”

“I’m not.” How would I make him understand? This love I had for him was more than anything else. “I’ve loved you all my life. Nothing will ever change my feelings for you.”

“One day a man will come along, and he’ll change them. You’ll love him more.” His voice cracked at the end.

“Go then.” I let go of his hands. “You don’t love me the way I love you.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” He sat on the side of the bed.

“How? You admitted you’d rather wait for your fated mate.”

“I never said that.” He huffed. “I couldn’t care less about who the fates send me. Ciara, I love you. I’ve wanted you for a long time, but you deserve to be happy. You deserve your fated mate.”

“I would always be happy with you.”

“You say that now…” He sighed.

I sat up. “I will always say that. There’s nothing you can do that wouldn’t make me happy. Unless you left me for another woman that is.”

“I’d never leave you.” He lifted a hand as though he was about to touch me then dropped it back to the mattress.

“I’d never leave you either.”

I let out a long breath as though purging my feelings had lifted a great strain from my chest and the lightness inside me made my dark shadows easier to bear. Whenever I was with Malachi his mere presence soothed me. Now while I was in heat, I had the added sensation of his presence arousing me. I doubted I’d ever feel this way for another man. What I said was true. I’d never leave him. I loved him and only him. If my fated mate appeared one day, if we lived that long, then there was no chance I’d leave Malachi for a stranger. We had so much history together. How could he think I’d hurt him?

We stared at each other for a long time, both of us lost in our thoughts. My heat gnawed at me like the constant pressure of the water outside. My gaze dropped to his lips. Lips I longed to kiss. I wondered what it would be like to kiss Malachi. What sex with Malachi would be like?

“I’ve never had sex,” he said.

“Neither have I. I didn’t even like kissing someone else so I could never bring myself to try again let alone have sex with them.”

“Remember when we found those books?”

“The anatomy ones or the secret manuals Eabha had hidden in the library on the top shelf?”

He grinned. “Both.”

“We spent a long time pouring over those together.”

“We did,” he agreed. “So, we both understand how our bodies work.”

“You’re making it sound so technical.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Oh, Malachi. You would never disappoint me.”

“And you’re sure this isn’t because of your heat.”

I lifted a hand and cupped his cheek. “I’m one hundred percent sure my feelings for you aren’t because of my heat. Since we’ve been on Earth, my body tingles whenever you touch me. That has nothing to do with my heat.”

“I’ve always felt that way as though your presence lights up my body and my power.”

“I realized the other day that I didn’t just love you but that I was in love with you.”

“I’ve been in love with you for what feels like forever.”

Did that mean we were about to kiss? About to have sex for the first time? My heart hammered inside my chest and echoed the desire pounding deep in my core. If this was real, then I couldn’t be happier, but if Malachi left the room, then my heart might break at losing what we might have had together.