8. CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER FIVE
DAISY
Now
B ack in Erin’s bungalow, Lily rifles through the bag where she’s packed the articles of clothing she’s designed. She places a bright yellow bikini in my hands with a sparkling grin. “This should fit.”
I take the garment and hold it up to me. It’s nothing more than a few triangles and strings. I look up at her in disbelief. “Where does my vagina go?”
Lily rolls her eyes and hands Erin what looks like scraps of bright red fabric that I can only assume is a swimsuit, then says to me, “Did you wax?”
“Of course, I waxed,” I say with a snarl. I glance again at the bottoms and thank the smart version of me from three days ago who scheduled the appointment for a Brazilian. There was no way I was going on vacation with Blake and not wax.
“Everything?” Erin asks, her brows reaching up to her hairline. “We can’t advertise the new swimsuit line with Sasquatch peeking out from between your legs.”
My skin prickles with irritation. I’m so sick of her attitude. Gripping my bathing suit bottoms, I tug them aside, not caring that I’m being crass. “Do you want to make sure my vag passes inspection?”
“Daisy!” Lily screeches and covers her eyes, but she’s laughing. “What has gotten into you?”
“Blake,” Erin says, grinning ear to ear. “I’d say Blake’s gotten into her several times.”
My cheeks heat, but before I can think too much about my vulgar behavior, I step into the bathroom to change into the absurdly small bathing suit. What has gotten into me? I have been making comments I would never have dared to say before. The shocked look on my mother’s face and the large eyes of my father when I mentioned having sex with Blake on the jet come to mind. What is wrong with me? The me from just a few months ago wouldn’t dream of saying such rude things in front of my parents. Maybe I’m just sick of being seen as not as fashionable, not as funny, not as exciting, and not as pretty as the rest of my family.
I slide the tiny bits of material up my thighs, surprised when it actually fits, and tuck my breasts into the scraps of fabric that feel like it barely covers my nipples. Taking a deep breath and preparing myself for the smirks and snide remarks about my big ass and thighs, I step from the bathroom. Lily and Erin turn around and their eyes widen.
“Damn,” Erin whispers.
“Holy shit,” Lily says with this weird lilt to her voice. “Have you been working out?”
I glance down at my thighs. “I started a spinning class.” Never mind that I started it after quitting my job to keep me busy, so I didn’t obsess over when I’d see Blake again.
“Maybe that’s it?” Lily says, stepping forward and tugging at the little strings at my hip. “But I don’t think so.”
I look at myself in the large mirror over the sink. The bathing suit fits, sure, but it feels like it would be obscene to wear something this revealing in public. I move closer to the mirror, and with every step I’m sure my vagina or a tit may fall out. Tucking a few flyaway strands of hair behind my ear, I turn to the side to inspect my profile, then the other to check my body at that angle. I don’t see much difference in me. “I just got a new hairstyle?”
“Maybe?” Lily says it more like a question.
Erin comes up behind me and flops her arm over my shoulder. “There is something different about you.”
“It’s got to be the new saltiness,” Lily says, matter of fact.
“More like sass.” Erin studies me in the mirror in front of us. “It looks good on you.”
Erin’s arm falls as I twist side to side, inspecting the swim suit, before deciding that, yes, it looks good on me. “It really does.”
Erin smiles at me in the mirror. “The bathing suit looks hot as fuck on you, yeah, but it’s that new-found attitude that makes you gorgeous.”
“Confidence!” Lily exclaims. She moves so that she’s behind me and pulls my hair from the bun, fluffing it around my shoulders. “You’re beaming with confidence, and it looks beautiful on you. ”
Feeling my cheeks heat, I look down at my toes, hoping she doesn’t notice. Lily has never complimented me.
“We’re going to sell the shit out of these bathing suits, Lil,” Erin says with a grin.
Lily catches my eyes in the mirror and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close. We’re all dressed in the bathing suits Lily designed. I have to admit, I’m proud of my sister. I look over my body, trying to see it as they do. There’s lean muscle in my thighs where there used to be softness, thanks to hours in spinning class. My butt isn’t any smaller, just rounder. My body hasn’t really changed, but there is something about me that seems different. Feels different too. Something lighter about me I hadn’t noticed until they said something. I look at Lily and Erin, trying to figure out what it is, and all I can see is that I somehow now look like them. Not the too white teeth. Not the blonde hair and certainly not a too perfect look. Do I seem taller? Is it confidence?
“Come on,” Erin says, tugging me towards the door. “Let’s get some pictures before the sun goes down.”
** *
“Not like that, Daisy.”
I readjust my hip, trying to stand with my back arched, my leg forward and slightly bent and…
“Hold it!” Erin screeches and repeatedly presses the screen of her phone. “Okay, now look up and to the left.”
I do as commanded, trying to hold still. Lily and Erin set up a tripod and huge ring light by the water’s edge, using the slowly sinking sun as a backdrop. This is the first time they have included me in any of Lily’s promotions of her clothing line. I shift, jutting my hip to the right as Erin commands, not wanting to complain that this feels stupid. Ignoring the small group of men watching us from by the pool, I focus on Erin’s instructions, but my skin feels over-exposed.
“Nice ass,” one of them calls, and his friend punches his arm.
“Thanks, asshole!” Lily shouts back and waves. “No one asked for your critique!”
Asshole walks toward us, and Erin groans. “Oh good,” she says, handing me my cover-up, “he’s coming our way.”
I grab the cover-up, feeling the man’s eyes move over me as he approaches, and wrap it around my chest .
“Nice little photo shoot,” he says, walking right up to me. He stops barely a foot away, all in my personal bubble, and I step back, my heart thumping unpleasantly in my chest.
“You mean the photo shoot you just interrupted?” Lily snaps. “The one you now stand in the middle of? Uninvited?”
The guy ignores Lily and gives me a wide grin that shows too many teeth. His canines seem too sharp, his face too angular. He’d almost be good-looking, but there’s something about him that reminds me of a ferret.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” the weasel man says, his eyes sliding down my exposed skin, leaving me feeling slimy.
“Again?” I ask before I can stop myself. I’ve never seen this guy before. I’d definitely remember him because I’ve already placed him into the smarmy category in my brain.
“Yeah.” He grins. “You stumbled into my room drunk, and we fucked like bunnies.”
“Ew,” Erin says from behind him.
“No,” I say, taking another step back, that old feeling of being caged in creeping up my throat, threatening to send me into a panic. I glance at his group of friends, who seem to have abandoned him, and now walk towards the resort recreation building .
“No?” he asks, those teeth flashing again. His eyes finally rise from my chest to my face. “How about we plan that for tonight, then?”
“Triple ew,” Erin says, walking up next to me and gripping my arm. She yanks me away. “She’s taken.”
“Got a boyfriend?” Weasel asks.
“A hot-as-fuck one, at that,” Erin says.
“Does he treat you well?” Weasel-face asks. “Bet I’d treat you better tonight in my bed.”
This asshole doesn’t let up. I step around him with Erin still gripping my arm and ignore his statement. Doing my best to take a calming breath, I refuse to look at him. The last thing I want this jerk to witness is how he’s rattled me. I glance around, wishing Blake was nearby.
Like I’ve miraculously summoned him, I spot Blake walking towards us with the rest of our group, staring at me. Justine hangs on his arm, laughing at something he says. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth when he sees me, but it fades just as quickly as it appears. Blake’s gaze darts to the weasel standing behind me, then back to me. He shrugs Justine off, and storms forward, leaving the rest of my family behind.
“Is there a problem?” Blake asks the second he’s next to me, his near-black eyes fixated on the man nearby .
“Nah, man,” the guy says. “I was coming over to introduce myself to these fine ladies.”
“Is that right?” Blake asks, rage flashing behind his eyes like a neon sign. “And did they seem interested in talking to you?”
Weasel gets that smarmy smile and winks at me. “That’s yet to be determined.”
Blake steps around me and positions himself between the man and me. He’s inches from the guy, towering over him.
“What’s your name?” Blake asks, his tone almost friendly. Almost, but not quite.
The guy’s eyes dart to me, then back to Blake. A smooth smile passes over his lips. I have got hand it to him. Even though Blake has several inches on him, he doesn’t step back. “Greg.”
Blake smiles, showing his teeth. “Okay, Greg.” He looks around like he’s searching for the right words, then back to Greg. “I can reassure you they aren’t interested in knowing you.”
Greg steps back now, clearly hearing the venom in Blake’s voice. “Just being friendly, man.”
Blake’s smile could cut ice. “And now you can leave. ”
The guy shoots me a narrow-eyed look and steps away, walking backward. “My offer still stands.” With another wink, he turns and leaves.
Blake steps forward like he’s going to follow him, but I grab his arm to stop him. The muscles in his arm feel like granite, he’s so tense. He spins to face me. I take a step back at the anger bubbling like tar in his eyes.
I recognize that look. It’s the insane, rage-filled expression Jim used to get when men looked at me. My heart feels like a trapped bird in my ribcage, fluttering wildly. “It’s fine.”
Blake’s expression turns to stone. “What offer?”
“It’s fine,” I say again. My stomach roils. This feels all too familiar.
“Fine?” he growls. “Tell me what he fucking said.”
Erin steps forward, so she’s close to my side and in Blake’s line of vision. “Stupid things that douche-bags say. It’s no big deal.”
Blake runs his hand through his hair and looks back in the direction where the guy went.
“Blake,” I say, grabbing his attention.
He focuses back on me, but his face still has that violent look to it .
“Oh, my gawd!” Lily exclaims, cutting the tension. Everyone turns to face her. She’s holding Erin’s phone, scrolling through the images, the man forgotten. Lily rushes forward, holding the phone so I can see the screen. “These are perfect. You are so sexy!”
All thoughts of weaselly Greg and Blake’s anger fade the second I see myself. I point to the screen and ask Lily, “That’s me?”
“Yeppers,” Erin says, peering over my shoulder. “I’m good at what I do.”
Lily grins. “And my bathing suit makes you look damn good.”
“This one is definitely going on my Instagram,” Erin says. She turns around and waves Justine and my family over. “Come look at sexy Daisy.”
“We made a model out of her!” Lily calls and runs toward Justine. She stops by Justine and shows her the screen. I can see from here how her smile has a sour twinge to it. Lily waves at us as they approach. “Blake! Stand next to Daisy for a picture. Let’s get that hot body on Insta.”
His eyes dart from me to Lily, then back to me. A strange expression passes over his face.
Erin claps as my family and Justine join us. “ Good idea.”
Justine slides in close to Blake, and he visibly stiffens. She slides a finger down his bicep, running it over the lines of his tattoos. Anger coils in my gut, making me want to rip her fingers off his arm.
Look who’s the jealous one now.
“Better if he takes his shirt off so we can see those tattoos,” she says.
I’m going to fucking stab her if she so much as…
Blake shifts away, and his eyes fly back to me. When he’s closer, he reaches out for me, and I step into his embrace. Leaning down, he places a kiss on the top of my head. “I don’t do pictures.”
Erin cackles. “What do you mean, you ‘don’t do’ pictures?”
“I don’t post images online,” he says. “I like to keep my life private.”
“So, you like, don’t have an Instagram?” Lily asks as if she can’t comprehend a person not being obsessed with posting images of themselves.
“I can’t find him,” Erin says, scrolling madly through her phone. “There’s like a gazillion Blake Ryder’s.”
Lily peers over her shoulder. “I bet it’s that one. ”
“But there are no pictures,” Erin says. “And your profile picture is of a cat on a motorcycle.”
Blake nods. “Yes.”
Lily gasps, grabbing the phone. “This is crazy. Why have an account if you don’t post anything?”
“So I can look at other people’s pictures,” Blake says. He squeezes my hip, pressing me to him. “Daisy has some pretty pictures on there.”
My face heats. Did Blake just admit to looking at my profile? For any actual boyfriend, that’d be normal, but a fake boyfriend isn’t supposed to look. He’s not supposed to care.
Erin presses her hand to her heart. “You mean your boyfriend actually looks at your profile?”
“I wish Kane looked at mine.” Lily shoots her fiancé a scathing look. “You’d think he’d look more since his face is always in his phone.”
Kane glances up. “There is no need. You show me a million pictures of the same thing every time you post just one.”
Lily waves his words off and turns back to Blake. “Let’s get one of you and Daisy before the sun goes down completely.”
He stiffens next to me. “I’ll take a picture for you, but not for Instagram. ”
Lily’s shoulders sag. She gives up and grabs Kane’s hand, forcing him to take a selfie with her.
“Ouch,” Justine says. “Another boyfriend that doesn’t want any pictures with you.”
“Another?” Lily asks, freezing mid-selfie to look my way. “You had a boyfriend before, Blake?”
“That Jim guy,” Erin reminds her.
“That’s right,” Lily says, resuming her selfie. She nudges Kane to put his phone down and plasters a smile on her face. Between shots, she asks, “How come Justine knows about him, and we don’t?”
Because Justine was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I suck in a breath. What do I say? It will lead to a million more questions if I tell them the truth. I can’t exactly tell them she found out I was seeing Jim because she was in the same parking lot the day Jim shoved me against the car and threatened to strangle me.
Justine shoots me a smooth smile. “We were in the same restaurant one night.”
Okay. So Justine just lied. The breath I’d been holding rushes out. So she’s not spilling anything. Just yet .
I give her an equally fake smile. If she talks, I’ll talk right back. Then they’ll know exactly what she did. “That’s right. I’d forgotten about that.”
“He made quite a first impression,” Justine says, a smug grin sliding into place. “The way he spoke to you was… endearing.”
My mother comes up and wraps an arm around Justine’s waist. “I highly doubt Blake wants to hear about Daisy’s previous lovers.”
Blake shifts next to me, squeezing me tightly to him. “She’s mine now. That’s all that matters.”
Justine pats Blake’s arm. “As long as you aren’t like Jim, Daisy should be fine.”
My mother’s eyes shoot to me. Her mouth turns down at the corner, the same way it did when I was little, and she’d catch me lying. There are going to be questions. Many questions. Thankfully, she breaks the intense stare and steers Justine away. Erin and Lily pack up their tripod as Amber joins them. They chat about the dresses we’ll all be modeling tomorrow after yoga class.
“I’ve got the perfect dress for you, Daisy!” Lily calls as she drags Kane and Erin towards the pool and bar area. “It’ll look perfect on that smoking little body of yours. ”
Blake quirks a brow. “So you’re one of Lily’s models now?”
“Seems so.” I tug at the bathing suit. “I wonder if she’s really going to post any of the pictures of me.”
Blake makes a sound in his throat. “I would put money on it.” He pulls me close, sliding a finger under the string at my collarbone. “You’re unbelievably beautiful.”
I press into him, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him down for a kiss. He presses his lips lightly to mine, then his gaze slides back down to my breasts.
I give him a satisfied smirk. “Eyes up here, buddy.”
He chuckles and presses another kiss to my mouth. “What did that guy say to you?”
Like someone splashes cold water on me, my entire body freezes. “What?”
“Do I need to have a talk with him?” Blake glances back to where the man went.
I pull back, almost pushing him away. “No.”
Blake lets out a huff of air and runs his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. “I didn’t like the look on your face when he was talking to you.”
I step back. “Well, he’s gone now.”
Blake sighs and reaches for my hand. “Okay. ”
I shoot him a wary look and let him pull me towards the row of bungalows. We’re halfway to our private quarters when Blake speaks. “Tell me about Jim.”
I stop in my tracks, dropping his hand. “No.”
“Was he mean to you?” Blake asks. “Is that why you looked so scared when that guy was talking to you?”
His intense stare makes me step back. “That’s none of your business.”
“Did this Jim hurt you?”
I turn away and take a few steps towards the bar and pool. “Again, none of your business.”
Blake grips my arm and spins me around. Something in my face makes him let me go immediately. “I’m trying to be your friend.”
“We aren’t friends, remember?” I snap. “We are pretending to be in a relationship to make these fucking Gatherings more tolerable for me.”
Blake crosses his arms, leaning back on his heals. “Yes. I forgot. We can’t be human with one another.”
“This is pretend.” I motion between us. “We agreed to this.”
“Pretend,” Blake says. “I remember clearly.”
“Good,” I say as I walk away. “Don’t ask me again. ”
“Justine seems hellbent on bringing this Jim guy up at every opportunity,” Blake calls. “It would be helpful if I knew why.”
“Because she’s a bitch,” I say over my shoulder.
There is no way I’m talking to Blake about Jim. That is a piece of my life I would rather not live through again. I hadn’t told my family about him because by the time I should have been ready to introduce him to my family, what I thought was the sweetest man I’d ever met, already turned into Mr. Hyde. Then, I knew deep down there was no way I was going to let my family see me with someone like that. And, just when I was trying to figure out how to escape the situation in one piece, Justine happened, and my entire life exploded in my face.
***
I stumble slightly as I walk through the door to the bungalow. Lily squeals behind me and I turn to wave.
“Go get railed!” Amber screeches, and I hear Forest groan in the darkness.
Thank goodness my parents didn’t join us at the bar by the pool. They would have been mortified by our behavior. Heck, I may be in the morning, but it was nice being included in the fun. For once, I wasn’t the butt of any jokes, and I actually got several compliments from both Lily and Erin. Even Justine seemed in a better mood.
It’s dark in our room and my toe hits the side table as I turn on the light. Cursing, I rub away the sting and glance around. Blake’s swim trunks and t-shirt sit neatly folded at the end of the bed, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I walk towards the small bathroom that houses the toilet and shower, but the door is open and the space is empty.
Great.
Our first fight as a fake couple and he’s MIA. I walk back to the bed and sink down, tossing my sandals across the room by the door, before laying back on the bed. The bed sways slightly under me, and I close my eyes to center myself. I shouldn’t have had that last shot Erin insisted we all take. Now I’m tipsy and when I’m tipsy, I get in my feelings or do stupid things.
Like the night I approached Blake in the cabin in the mountains.
Not that it was a stupid move, maybe more reckless than anything. I’d never allowed myself the freedom to just enjoy…
The moment.
Life .
My body.
Blake had made me feel desired in a way that I never had before. It had felt safe to just have sex and leave it at that. Then, of course, because that’s what I do, I wanted to experience that feeling of safely exploring my carefree, adventurous side. And here I am. Wanting to do it again, but now everything is all wrong. These next few days were meant to be an escape from reality, and then Justine showed up and ruined it all.
Sometime after my third drink, I decided that Blake behaving aggressively towards that weasel-faced man was what any normal boyfriend would do. He was protecting me. The insistent prying into my past was a bit intrusive considering our arrangement, but then again he did say he was trying to be my friend. Isn’t that what we should be? Friends?
The problem is that friends don’t fuck, and that’s all we’re doing.
Shaking my head clear from the rapid thoughts, I stand to slide open the glass doors to the small private veranda. With the busy day, I didn’t have the chance to explore the bungalow completely. Firelight from a tiki torch brightens the space with flickering gold light. A large bamboo wall covered in vines hides the area from the walkway up front. Stepping outside, I find Blake in the outdoor bath. He’s sprawled out, a leg up on the side, his head tilted back. When he hears the glass door close, he looks up, his black eyes meeting mine.
“Hi,” I say, stopping a few feet away. I drink in the sight of his bare chest and the line of hair that disappears into the water. Ink black lines sprawl out over his chest in what seems to be a blend of geometric lines around the edges and mandalas with tiny flowers at the center. The lines are a perfect combination of delicate and masculine.
“Hi,” he says back. He sits upright, resting his arms on the side of the tub. The water moves around his waist, drawing my eyes back to that delicious slab of muscle in his abs, then to the thickness of his thighs. My belly dips, like right before you fall over the peak of a roller coaster.
“I think we just had our first fight as a fake couple,” I say.
He makes a light rumbling sound in his throat. He doesn’t respond. Instead, he raises the hand that’s resting on the edge of the tub and motions me to come closer.
I step forward until my thigh touches the side of the deep tub, my belly the same height as his head. Blake’s eyes roam over me, from my legs, up my stomach, over my breasts, and to my neck, then back down again. He glides a finger up the side of my thigh, stopping at the string tying the bathing suit around my hips. Still not speaking, he focuses on the tie of my bottoms and pulls at the string until it comes undone. When he releases it, the fabric covering me falls to the side, revealing me to him. He repeats the movement on the other side until the bottoms fall off and land at my feet.
His mouth opens slightly, and it seems as if his eyes go even darker. He drinks in the sight of me, resting his fingers on my hip, then his thumb dips between my legs, sliding ever so lightly against my folds.
It feels like I’m suddenly made of liquid. My heart hammers in my chest, my breathing growing heavier. I’m unsure what to do with my hands, so I clench them at my sides to keep myself from gripping Blake’s wrist, forcing him to touch me harder.
“Do you like me touching you?” he asks, brushing a light caress across my skin.
I swallow before answering. “Yes.”
He presses harder so that his thumb slides between my folds. I jerk, digging my nails into my palms. I glance over at the bamboo wall covered in vines, ensuring no one can see us.
“No one can see back here,” he whispers as he slides his thumb inside me .
My eyes fall closed, and I rock forward to force him to touch me harder, but he slides out. My eyes pop open, and I watch as he brings his thumb to his mouth and sucks the taste of me from his finger.
“You’re so fucking sweet,” he growls. “Open your legs wider.”
Without hesitation, I do as commanded, keeping my eyes locked on his. Blake slides two fingers over my folds and then roughly into me. I release a small gasp at the sudden feeling of his fingers, then release another as he slides the wetness to my clit, then plunges them back deep inside me. He does this over and over until I’m gasping, rocking my hips to meet his hand.
Something inside me feels like it’s unwinding. Whatever tightness that has squeezed my lungs since I left him outside the coffee shop releases its grip. Blake’s eyes fall to where his hand moves into me, watching as his fingers glide in and out with slick sounds. I grab his wrist with one hand, just to feel his power as he moves his fingers in me, and slide the other up my stomach, cupping my breast through the fabric as if it were him. He watches my every move, his jaw tightening as I take my nipple between my fingers and squeeze. I tilt my hips, giving him better access, and grip his wrist tighter, forcing him to go faster, deeper .
“That’s it,” he says. “Fuck my hand.”
I look down at the water where his dick bobs out. Heat builds in me at the sight of his hard length. I bite my lower lip, thinking about his salty taste and how he feels in my mouth. A breath rushes out of me when the desire to see him touching his hard dick overwhelms me. “Stroke yourself.”
Blake’s eyes dart up to mine, then back to his hand between my legs. He grips his dick with his free hand, moving up and down the length. My belly clenches at the sight of him stroking himself, and I can feel myself tighten around his fingers. His dark eyes move over my body and up to my eyes.
I feel wild, frantic. I want more. Need more.
“Lick me,” I whisper, releasing his wrist and sliding my hand up so that I’m cupping both my breasts through the material of the bathing suit.
His mouth opens slightly. He grips his dick tightly at the head, then continues his slow strokes. “You’re fucking gorgeous like this,” he grinds out, leaning forward and pressing his lips to my folds. He angles his hand down, allowing his fingers to move deeper. His hot, wet tongue slides through my folds and circles my clit. I grip his hair as I rock against him. He flicks my clit with maddeningly light licks until I’m nearly screaming with a mixture of desire and the intense need to come .
Blake leans back suddenly, sliding his fingers out of me. A low growl escapes me at the empty feeling where I’m throbbing between my legs. Water splashes as he stands abruptly, pulling me to him, his fingers digging into my thighs. The material of my bathing suit top becomes instantly wet from the water cascading down his body. I gasp at his roughness and the way his fingers dig into my skin like he’s trying to pry me apart. He steps from the bath and in one quick movement, pulls me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth crashes against mine greedily. I taste the saltiness of me on his tongue and the musky maleness that is him as his tongue delves deep into my mouth.
Blake carries me back into the room, barely stopping to close the glass doors behind him, and lays me on the bed. I unwrap my legs and let him step away. He’s so gorgeous that it leaves me breathless. Before I can sit up and run my greedy hands over his glorious chest and those delicious tattoos, he drops to his knees and begins to devour me, his mouth a scorching heat against me, his tongue dipping between my folds and circling my clit before sucking it in.
I weave my fingers into his thick hair. “Oh, yes, please,” I cry. My voice doesn’t even sound like mine. It’s throaty and desperate. He sucks again, and my muscles seize. “I’m so close. Please don’t stop.”
Blake releases a groan that vibrates against my core. The stubble on his chin scrapes my thighs, creating a scratching pain that mixes with the building pleasure. He takes me into his mouth, lightly sucking and flicking my clit with the tip of his tongue, and the world explodes into a million bright stars.
Before I can catch my breath, Blake is up, holding my shoulder with one hand to keep me in place and guiding his dick to my wet opening. My head tilts back again, and I close my eyes, absorbing a new wave of pleasure. We both moan at the intensity of him sliding between my folds, my entire body jerking as he slips over my too-sensitive clit.
“Open your eyes,” Blake says, leaning forward to kiss my open mouth. “I want you to watch me fucking you.”
My eyes flutter open. His dark eyes look nearly black in the dim light, so full of hunger it takes my breath away. Blake’s fingers grip my shoulder almost painfully as he positions himself at my opening.
“Breathe out,” he growls.
I release the breath I’d been holding. Using my shoulder to anchor himself, Blake slams forward, filling me completely. I scream out at the sudden hardness of him inside me. My body stretches for him as he seats himself deeply, a shiver of pain rippling through me, mixed with the erotic pinch of being too full too fast blending together with the ecstasy of feeling him inside me.
“Fuck,” he growls out against my mouth. “You’re so fucking tight.”
My answer is a breathy moan. I tilt upward, wanting him to move and fill this ache inside me.
His eyes squeeze shut for a moment, cursing quietly. He pulls out and again digs his fingers into the flesh at my collarbone, his other hand now gripping my thigh, then drives forward. I let out another cry, still shocked at how deep he’s moving into me. He repeats the movement, until he’s slamming forward again and again with quick brutal thrusts, our bodies crashing together with obscene wet sounds.
One hand is at my throat now, his fingers digging into my pulse, then releasing until he’s squeezing my throat in the same rhythm he’s fucking me. “Come when I tell you,” he grinds out, his eyes never leaving mine.
I barely hear his words. Every nerve ending feels exposed, my head light, but overflowing with too many sensations. I’m faintly aware of the creaking of the bed, the hum of the fan overhead, and his heavy breathing above me. How my hands have gripped the edge of the bed, and I’m using it to meet his hard thrusts. When he angles his hips so that his thrusts hit up toward my belly, new sensations flood my body.
I don’t know if I can hold on much longer. “I’m going to come,” I gasp between thrusts.
Blake leans forward, his entire body curving over me to keep the angle he’s fucking me, and his tongue delves into my mouth. He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to mine. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.”
“I’m so close,” I breathe out. It’s too much.
He slides his hand from my thigh to my belly and glides his thumb over my clit. Electric bolts of pleasure shoot through me. “Come now, sweet girl.”
Releasing the grip on the bed, I dig my fingers into his forearms, trying to hold on. Each glide of his thumb and thrust into me, each squeeze at my throat builds up higher and higher until that tight coiling in my body releases. A wave of blinding pleasure pulls me under, nearly drowning me. He keeps up the pace until my vision clears.
“Such a good girl,” Blake grates out, but I can barely hear him. He pumps one, two, three more times, then his entire body clenches, every muscle in his chest and arms tightening. He buries his face in my neck as he releases a throaty groan in my ear. His thrusts slow, his heavy breaths finally even out.
I let go of his arms, still panting, and my legs fall away loose.
“Fuck,” he hisses into the skin at my neck, “I forgot how amazing you feel.”
I laugh. Fuck is right. I close my eyes, still trying to catch my breath. I feel his dick still semi-hard throb inside me.
“Shit,” he whispers. A cold blast of air hits me as he stands upright.
There’s a strange twist to the word that makes me open my eyes. “What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He looks down to where he’s still inside me. “Please tell me you’re on the pill.”
The sleepy wave of freshly fucked elation washes away. What? My heart leaps into my throat. Oh no. We just had unprotected sex. He just came inside me. A man I barely know just fucked me senseless and came inside me.
“I didn’t even think,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“I am,” I tell him. Blake’s muscles relax slightly. Thank goodness I am. For the first time in my life, I’m thankful for the irregular periods that made me stay on the pill even though I’ve been single for so long. “I wasn’t thinking either.”
“I’m clean,” he says with a wince.
Shit. I didn’t even think about that. Here I was worried about pregnancy when there were other things I should worry about. I’m so bad at this. This right here, my naivety and clumsiness, are exactly why I don’t do one-night stands. Or several night stands. Or fool around at all.
Blake touches my arm, dragging my thoughts back to the current issue. “I was tested a while back, and I haven’t been with anyone but you since.”
My brain skids to a halt . Wait, what? Did he just confess to not having sex with anyone, in how long? Anyone else but me? And he’s not been with anyone since we left the cabin? Should I tell him I’ve not been with anyone except him in four years? That Jim left me so messed up that I couldn’t bear the thought of being touched. The idea of anyone touching me, much less letting myself be vulnerable enough to sleep with someone, was terrifying. Should I tell him it made me physically ill to think about having sex to the point I’ve just avoided it altogether? Until I met Blake. Then all I wanted was for him to touch me .
He draws his attention back to him by sliding a finger along my jawline. He quirks an eyebrow. “You okay?”
“Yes,” I say, slightly breathless. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
Blake nods, the corner of his mouth turning up. “Good.”
“I haven’t been with anyone since Jim,” I blurt out.
That brow raises again, but he remains quiet.
“So…” I let my voice trail off and look away. Heat creeps into my chest. This is awkward. We’re having this conversation now, with him still inside me. I’m so inexperienced with flings and men and having sex just for fun that I messed up and am having this conversation now when I should have made sure we had it before.
“So,” he says, hooking a finger under my chin and turning my face to look back at him. He slides his finger along my jaw, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Should I start another fight so we can do that again?