19. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Bella
I wake up early on Sunday morning. Knowing I have an outing planned for tonight makes me unable to sleep in. I head to Luke’s room, which he now shares with Alice, to check up on them. Luke and Alice are still fast asleep. I chuckle because I know why they’re so exhausted—they spent hours playing a very competitive game of tag at the park yesterday. I let them sleep because I know there will be no rest for me when they wake up in a few hours.
My thoughts are occupied by Ryan right now. I wonder what he has planned for today. He’s been on a business trip for a few days, but he’s due to return today, and he plans on taking me out.
I recollect his words: Make sure you pick your favorite gown for tonight’s dinner .
After the trip to the amusement park and the mall with him and the kids, we went on a few dates alone. They were fun, and he was such a gentleman. He opened doors for me, pulled out chairs, and always held my hand. I’m always nervous whenever we go out together. I can feel the stares of the gossips and naysayers whenever we walk around town together.
“Don’t worry about them. They’ll find something else to discuss in due time,” he says.
I try my best to block out the noise, and now I think I’m getting better at letting the gossip and snide remarks slide. I’m with someone who doesn’t hide me away from the world. His love and affection give me so much courage and comfort that I’m ready to face anything with him by my side.
I continue to think about his wonderful qualities. He’s so good with the kids. He’s also hinted that he wants more kids. That thought makes me a little scared, but at the same time, it’s enthralling. Luke calls him Dad now, which fills my heart with so much warmth and joy that it’s surreal, like a dream I don’t want to wake up from.
I have a feeling tonight’s outing will be very special. He booked reservations at the best Italian restaurant in Cedar Ridge. My heart begins to tremble in anticipation. Could it be what I think it is? Is he actually going to…?
Luke’s rumbling makes me jump. He runs to the sitting room, full of joy, a morning person through and through. “Mommy!” he yells. I hear Alice moving around upstairs, starting her day at a slower pace.
“Good morning, kiddo. I hope you slept well?” I say.
“I certainly did,” he replies cheerfully.
I take him to the bathroom, brush his teeth, and give him a quick bath. I prepare breakfast for us, which is just toast, eggs, and tea. He gobbles it down excitedly.
Alice takes her bath and comes down moments later. I hand over her breakfast and she utters a cheerful “Thank you.”
“Mom, can we watch TV?” Luke asks.
I gladly say yes, grateful that I don’t have to keep up with them for a few hours. I set the channel to Nickelodeon, which they happily watch. I use the opportunity to engage in a little cleaning. I mop the floor, sweep the kitchen, and then head to the bathroom. I spend the rest of the day checking off my to-do list and making sure I leave no chore or responsibility undone in anticipation of the dinner with Ryan later tonight.
Ryan shows up at my door around 7:30. He’s wearing a black suit. It looks very expensive, and I have no doubt it’s tailor-made for him. He holds out a bouquet. “Roses just as beautiful as you, my love,” he says while handing them over. I’m flattered, and I can’t hide the blush that appears on my cheeks.
He looks at me, and a huge smile covers his face. “You’re absolutely stunning. You look dressed to kill tonight.”
“Thank you. I’m only following your instructions, you know, since you insisted I dress my best for this.”
“Thank you for humoring me,” he says, and then he proceeds to quietly sit down on one of the chairs.
“Where are the kids?” he asks.
“Oh, they’re asleep. Luke wanted to rest up for the football practice you promised him tomorrow, and Alice wouldn’t dream of having a different bedtime than her partner in crime.”
He chuckles. “Are you ready now?”
“Erm, give me about five minutes. I need to check my makeup.”
“Women always know how to take their time,” he says with a cheesy smile on his face.
I feign annoyance before I burst into laughter.
The drive to the restaurant is short. He plays slow romantic music, trying to set the mood. The songs are actually quite nice, showcasing his good taste in music. When we get to the restaurant, he opens my door and holds my hand as we walk in.
The soft hum of violins and the scent of garlic and basil fill the air as I sit across from Ryan in a cozy corner of the Italian restaurant. The flickering candlelight bathes his face in a warm glow, and he looks impossibly handsome in his tailored suit. His dark eyes hold a nervous energy I can’t quite place, though he’s doing a good job hiding it behind his easy smile.
“I hope you like the wine,” he says, lifting his glass and nodding toward me. “The waiter said it pairs well with the ravioli you ordered.”
I pick up my glass and take a sip, the velvety red rolling over my tongue. It’s perfect, but I barely register the taste. There’s something different about his demeanor tonight. His fingers tap lightly against the edge of the table, and his gaze keeps darting to the small velvet box sitting just behind the candle. My breath catches every time my eyes flick toward it.
Ryan stands in front of me, his eyes steady and his shoulders squared, as if he’s preparing for a fight.
My heart is pounding now, the weight of his words crashing over me like a wave. He pulls the box closer and flips it open to reveal a stunning ring—delicate and timeless, clearly chosen with care.
He goes down on one knee, “Bella Parker,” he says, his voice steady despite the emotions swimming in his eyes, “will you marry me?”
The air seems still around us as the sounds of the restaurant fade into the background. My breath catches, and for a moment, I’m frozen. The ring sparkles in the candlelight, but all I can think about are the what-ifs, the fears, the scars that Caleb left behind, the lingering doubt that I’m not ready for this…that we’re not ready.
“Ryan,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “I—”
His brow furrows slightly, but he doesn’t pull his hand away. “It’s okay,” he says softly, his tone free of judgment or impatience. “Take your time.”
I glance at the ring again, my mind racing. “I just…I don’t know if this is the right thing to do,” I admit, my words tumbling out in a rush. “What if we’re rushing into this? What if…what if I can’t be the wife you deserve? What if I mess everything up?”
“I understand your fears, my love, but the kids need a stable family,” Ryan continues, his tone gentler now. “Something real. Something permanent. And as much as I love being here, cohabiting isn’t enough. It’s not enough for them, and it’s not enough for me.”
I swallow hard, my hands twisting nervously in my lap. “Ryan, I...I’ve been through this before. I thought I had forever once, and look how that turned out. I can’t go through that again.”
“I know,” he says, stepping closer. He kneels in front of me, his hand reaching for mine, but he doesn’t rush me. “I know Caleb broke your trust. I know he left you with nothing but pieces to pick up. But I’m not him, Bella. I’ll never be him.”
My throat tightens and I look away, but Ryan doesn’t let go.
His words break something open in me. I force myself to meet his gaze, and the intensity there steals my breath.
“You are my redemption,” he says softly. “You gave me a second chance at happiness, Bella. At a family. At love. I’m not asking you to take a leap of faith blindly—I’m right here, ready to catch you. Every single time.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them back, my voice trembling as I speak. “Ryan, what if I can’t be what you need? What if I mess this up? What if...what if forever isn’t real?”
He cups my face gently, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “Forever is real, Bella. It’s messy, and it’s hard, and sometimes it’s terrifying. But it’s real. And I want it with you.”
I let out a shaky breath, and his hand slides to my cheek, grounding me.
“This isn’t just about us,” he says. “It’s about Luke and Alice. They deserve to grow up knowing what a real, stable family looks like. They deserve to feel safe, to know that no matter what, we’re in this together. We owe them that.”
My chest tightens, and I look at the ring again. It’s not the ring itself that scares me—it’s the weight of everything it represents.
“I’m scared,” I whisper.
“I know,” he says. “But you’re not alone anymore, Bella. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself. That’s the promise I’m making to you tonight—not just to love you, but to stand by you. To be your partner in every way. Forever.”
His voice cracks on the last word, and something inside me shifts. This isn’t Caleb making empty promises. This isn’t a man looking for a convenient arrangement. This is Ryan—steadfast, patient, and so deeply in love that it terrifies me almost as much as it comforts me.
For the first time, I let myself imagine what forever might look like with him. Late nights in the café, the kids laughing in the next room, his arms around me as we face every storm together.
And for the first time, it doesn’t feel impossible.
“Okay,” I whisper, the word slipping out before I can stop it.
Ryan’s eyes widen, his breath catching. “Okay?”
I nod, a tear sliding down my cheek. “Okay.”
His face breaks into the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen as he pulls me into his arms, holding me so tightly it feels like he’s trying to piece me back together. Maybe he already has.
The relief on his face is immediate, and his grin is so infectious I can’t help but laugh through my tears. He slips the ring onto my finger with careful precision, then pulls me back into his arms. The restaurant bursts into applause, but I barely hear it. All I can focus on is the way he holds me—like he’s never going to let go.
“I love you,” he murmurs into my hair, and I tighten my arms around him, letting myself believe, for the first time in a long time, that maybe this is exactly where I’m meant to be.
“I love you, too,” I whisper back, and the words don’t feel like a risk anymore. They feel like coming home.