Falling for A Lie (The Lords And Ladies Of Ash #1)

30. Soren

Chapter thirty

Soren

T he thundering cheers still echo around me as I sit at the bar, surrounded by older men attempting to charm me into their ranks and beds, promising greater opportunities if I submit to their advances of raising me in power and promises of safety .

It's an unsettling reality that I am merely ten feet away from the metal cage that imprisoned me alongside a man sent to kill me.

The thought plunges me into the darkness that nearly consumed me while I was in the ring, gripping Cerv's neck tightly in my hands, determined to eliminate the threat before it could destroy me. However, I hesitated—something I had never done when it came to taking a life. Yet, at that moment, I did.

My enemies are becoming bolder with their threats. However, I am uncertain about the identity of the current enemy, which causes me to feel more at ease than I have since the night of my almost death.

Jace would never have contacted anyone else to handle a job he is so desperate to finish himself. His pride would never allow for that; he feels he must prove that he is not a failure, that his father's death isn't on him for not killing me months ago. This thought I know gnaws at him at night when he lays there in his bed, and it is the reason he will never stop—not until one of us lies at the other's feet, no longer part of the land of the living.

A loud voice catches my attention as a tall, blonde-haired man slides into the seat beside me. Recognition hits me just as his voice does and I suck in a shuddering breath. “ Bartender, the same as the lady ,” Caden's husky voice, dripping with the allure of fresh desire and bad choices I'm tempted to take him up on.

“ Are you sure a pretty boy like you can handle what's in my glass?” I say, having become quite skilled at concealing my identity over the past few months, making it easy to alter the tone of my voice to one that would never be associated with who I truly am behind the mask.

The feral smirk that graces his beautiful lips takes me back to the night we shared all those months ago. At that moment, as we lay in the sheets, I felt as though I could handle whatever life threw my way—a psychotic fiancé and the near-death experience at his hands.

“ Oh baby, I'm confident I can handle whatever you can and more. I came to see where you wanted to meet, but I can't say that drawing the short straw this time was a disadvantage .” He leans in, and the sight of small cuts marking his hands catches my attention. The redness appears fresh, but nothing that would leave a permanent scar on his tanned palms.

“Oh, we can return to the VIP booth I secured after Radley's fight. It's the glass box up there .” I point to the booth that is sheltered above the cage. The visibility inside is obscured by the two-way mirrors that line the outer walls, creating a barrier.

I watch him with curious eyes as he accepts the drink from the bartender and inhales its aroma. Grimacing at my choice of poison .

But what can I say? I almost died. I needed something strong to erase the hits that beat upon me relentlessly, trying to force me to break so Cerv could get the opening he needed to end me like he was ordered.

“ For some reason, I didn't envision you as a rum kind of girl. Vodka, yes; honey-flavored rum, no . ” He lifts the glass to his lips, and his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows the liquid in one gulp. I silently curse myself for feeling turned on before we have this conversation that I know won't be well received.

“It is better to expect the unexpected than to be disappointed ,” I smirk, taking the last sip of liquid courage without flinching. I stand up, extending my hand to the man on my right. He looks at me skeptically before sliding his hand into mine, the calluses of his rough palm rubbing against my soft skin as his hand envelops my smaller one.

“ I couldn't agree with you more, Peach. Please lead the way; the others will follow when they see us leaving the bar together .” He walks behind me, hand in hand, as we make our way to the spiral staircase that leads to the booth.

Footsteps echo behind us as the others follow suit, just as he said they would. The metal creaks beneath our feet as we ascend to where the others are. I knock three times to let them know it's me. Lena greets me, her mask now back in place, while Carla lounges on the sofa beside Miles, who is playing on his Switch and offering pointers for whatever game has captured their attention. Her face is still covered as well, and I am grateful for having come clean so they can both remove their masks and breathe freely. Finn sits at the personal bar, his attention shifting between me and the others behind me. A look of unease crosses his handsome features, and I desperately wish I could erase it. Hopefully, this decision won't be the wrong one, I step through the threshold fully into the cold room a chill creeps up my spine as I turn around to the four others and wave them in

“ Come in and shut the door behind you.” My voice remains a mask of who I truly am. I glance back, meeting the eyes of my sisters before turning to Miles and Finn. “ Could you please step out and give us a moment?”

Miles stands up, placing the switch on the side table. He turns towards my sister and offers her his hand. “ Let's go, little one; the adults need to talk.” He lets a haughty laugh escape his luscious lips.

Lena and Finn glance at me before making their way to follow the other two, obeying my orders until they are out of my sight. “ Keep an eye on them; I'll call you back once this is done.” With that, they exit, shutting the door and leaving me in the room with Scar's men—the four I never thought I would see again, let alone be this close to them.

“ Please take a seat before we continue. I believe the topic we will discuss will be more productive if everyone is comfortable .” My tone comes across as more commanding than I intended, but I observe as they cautiously comply. Caden and Rad take the spots previously occupied by Carla and Miles, sitting hand in hand like lovers prepared to protect one another. Perhaps what that man in the ring said was true; maybe they were together.

I shake the thought from my mind and continue to survey the other two men, wondering where they will find themselves. Drake takes Finn’s previous spot, and Reed plops down in the chair across from the couch, his back to me. The only chair left is the wingback leather chaise positioned directly against the glass window, looking out onto the events below. I make my way toward it, opting not to do this while standing with all eyes on me. Before I have a chance to speak, Drake cuts me off, saying, “ We know Soren is with you .” He sounds so confident that I wonder if he already knows who I am. I glance over at Reed and he meets my gaze head-on, subtly shaking his head to indicate that is not the case. My eyes shoot back up to meet Drake's when another voice from the couch adds, “ Give us our girl back, and we won't hurt you or your pretty boys outside .” I stand up abruptly, knocking the chair into the glass, which thumps harshly into the surface. I silently thank whatever deity is watching over me right now that the glass is bulletproof; it will take more than something slamming into it to break.

“Listen to me very closely, as I will only say this once. I don’t have her. If you threaten my family again, I will end you, and the conversation will die alongside your decaying flesh. Do you understand?” I lift my gaze to the two on the couch as Radley roughly nudges Caden's side, fear etched across his handsome face. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch sight of Drake shifting, undoubtedly preparing to move his hand to the gun strapped to the holster on his hip, ready to defend himself and his family against the threat he now senses before him.

“ I heard your guy on the phone with her yesterday. We will both make more progress in this conversation if we don’t start by lying ,” Drake growls, the gun now resting on his lap pointed in my direction.

“Oh, is that correct? It seems like you're the real detective, Drake. Funny how you're the smart one in the group,” I snap back, rolling my eyes at the obliviousness of the guys in front of me.

Wow, this is going to be a shocker. The truth is finally coming to light. But, here it goes.

“ What the hell does that mean?” Caden snarls at me, his teeth bared like a dog ready to tear out my throat at his master's command. He begins to push away from Radley to reach me, but before he can, I raise my hand to the mask that covers everything but my eyes and slowly pull it up, revealing my face to the guys in front of me.

Caden's eyes widen in shock as he halts his advance. Rad appears as though he has seen a ghost, while Drake looks at me as if I am a figment of his imagination, ready to vanish the moment he closes his eyes .

The only one who is not shocked is Reed as he walks slowly toward me, taking my trembling hands that still grip my mask into his own. He leans in so that our faces are only inches apart and whispers, ensuring that the others cannot hear, “ It's so good to have you back where you belong, little creature.” Without a moment's hesitation, his lips are on mine, just like the night before, searing his very essence into my flesh. I gasp at his touch, the mask falling to the floor as I bring my hands to the front of his shirt, pulling him closer and eliminating the distance between us, merging our bodies as our tongues battle for dominance.

There is a loud crash, and then Reed is yanked away from me as an enraged Drake grips him by the throat. “ YOU KNEW SHE WAS THE NIGHTINGALE THE WHOLE TIME!”

I step forward, but before I can pull Drake away from Reed, Caden grips my arm roughly, yanking me back from the guys in front of me, while Rad pulls his brother away from their friend.

“I... I just found out,” he chokes out through his coughing once Drake releases his grip on his throat. Red fingerprints mark the sides of his neck as he looks at me with a sorrowful expression. “ She wasn't ready to tell you. She said it wasn't time!” He groans, collapsing into the chair he chose when we first entered.

" What does that even mean, Damsel?” Cade whispers to me, still holding onto me as if he's afraid I'll run now that they know.

I pry my arm from his grip and step forward, looking each of them in the face as Radley pushes Drake onto the couch with a bit too much force. He grimaces at the movement, and I notice the same marks from Caden's hands on his arms, back, and neck. I file this information away for later because now is the time to express what I need to before I back out of it, making this all for nothing.

“I need you. I need your help. I had to consider what I could offer in exchange for what I am about to ask of you. Things haven’t been the same since we left your house in Hazelton that day. I’ve played the role of the good soldier and never said no, no matter what they demanded of me. I did it with a smile on my face because I felt I had no other choice. Scarlett warned that if we didn’t comply, she couldn’t protect us—couldn’t protect my sisters. I sacrificed the girl I was five months ago; my morals have vanished. I thought that would be the end of it, as long as the girls remained safe. But a month ago, she presented me with another ultimatum I couldn’t refuse. Thus, the Valkyrie was born, with the Nightingale at the helm leading them. I became significant overnight because we took the underdogs—the ones who never caught the attention of the lords—and transformed them into something greater. I thought it would be enough to protect them, but it’s not. Ben is dead, and I have a lifeless girl with my name carved into her flesh, along with a man trying to kill me tonight in the ring. I have two others besides my sisters, who I want to protect. They're my family.”

I suck in a breath as the air around us feels charged, as I push through the last of my speech, the part that gives them utter control on what happens next.

“I can’t do it on my own anymore. I will give you anything—my body, my mind, and my soul. I’ll offer it on a silver platter if you can help me because I cannot afford to lose them. But I can’t protect myself at the same time. I’m utterly helpless in that regard because I'm focusing on myself, I'm not focusing on them and it leaves them open to enemies. I need you. I need the Horsemen, I need the men who once cared for me, the same ones that saved me from dying in a bar parking lot at the hands of her psycho fiance.” My voice trembles, and the tears I had fought to suppress slide down my ivory skin, dripping from my chin onto my shirt.

Stunned silence envelops us once more as I wait with bated breath to hear their response. Drake gazes at me incredulously, while Radley appears as though he wants to take my sisters and me and hide us away, disregarding the other two men in my family. Reed seems torn between wanting to do the same and knowing I would never abandon the other two guys. Caden is looking at me like I'm his next meal, and he can't wait to devour me and also protect me in the same breath .

" How can we trust you? You have been among us and never thought we deserved to know you were right in front of us. You had us going through the motions of losing you, and you weren't even lost to begin with. You have been here the whole time” Radley says softly, his voice breaking.

“ SCARLET AND JOSIE FORBID ME FROM SEEING YOU!” The scream echoes around me as I clench my fist, my breathing becoming ragged as I pour my heart out to those who have broken me more than Jace ever could.I point a shaky finger at the bruised and broken man in front of me as I continue.

“ Reed overheard their conversation; he knows what they threatened me with! I have never stopped thinking about the four of you, day and night. I never changed my number, hoping you would call me, but you never did. You only recently attempted to reach out, and that was after I made the first contact. I never thought I meant so little to you when you quickly became so much to me. I mourned you when I was forced to leave that day because of Jace; I grieved for what could have been and who I could have become. Moreover, I am a trained killer trying to survive a psycho who won't give up until I'm dead, not to mention the dead bodies and threats aimed at me, along with someone hiring a rapist to kill me! I don't even know who would hire a hitman because it wasn't Jace or Alec! I'm surrounded by people, yet I feel utterly alone. I'm begging you to help me one last time. I promise I will leave you alone when I can breathe without looking over my shoulder for a threat I know is lurking.”

Drake shuffles beside his brother before pushing himself up fully and making his way to me, where I’ve collapsed on the floor, my knees pressed against my chest, dress be damned, as I rock back and forth. This was a mistake. I should have never confided in them; I wonder how they can trust me. But how can I trust them? I should have known better. I’m so overwhelmed—how am I going to protect the others now? The thoughts spiral as pure panic creeps up my spine, and my vision becomes fuzzy at the edges as I struggle to regain my composure while the walls around me close in.

Everything begins to sound like radio static, and the last thought I have before the claws of the panic attack finally seize me in their death grip is that I am being pulled into the murky darkness where I belong. Where nothing can get me.