Falmouth Echoes (A Cape Cod Series Book 2)

Chapter 8

Sophia flipped over to another picture, and the tightness in her chest increased. Using two fingers, she traced the edge of the thin plastic and exhaled. In the photo, her mother was holding an irritated-looking Sophia to her chest and beaming proudly at the camera.

Behind her, the familiar Provincetown harbor lingered.

“You really did love it here, didn’t you, Mom?” Sophia stared at the picture for a while longer before moving on to another one of the four of them sitting on the beach, with baby Ian and Sophia in cute blue swimsuits.

With a sigh, Sophia reached for the spoon by her table and scooped up a mouthful of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

She thumbed through a few more of the pictures, even though she already knew all of them by heart, only pausing to gather her hair into a high ponytail. When Teddy placed his head on her lap and made a low whining sound, she glanced up at him. Slowly, she set the photo album down on the covers next to her and flipped onto her side. Teddy licked her hands, his eyes wide and soulful.

“You know what it’s like to lose someone, don’t you?” Sophia swallowed and wrapped both arms around Teddy, drawing him in for a hug. “It really sucks, Teddy. Losing someone is really hard.”

Silence settled over the room and her heart.

She released Teddy, sighed, and flipped onto her back. She was staring at the same ceiling and noticed the chipped parts of the paint when her phone rang. With a frown, she brought it up to her face and blinked. As soon as she recognized Zac’s name, she sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears.

Zac’s familiar face filled her screen, looking better rested and tanned. “Hey, Mom. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“You can call me anytime, honey,” Sophia replied, bringing the phone closer to her face and studying him. He looked much better than he did when they last spoke, and some of the gauntness in his eyes was disappearing. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Better,” Zac replied with a lift of his chin. He fixed his green eyes, a mirror of her own, on her, and his expression turned sympathetic. “How are you doing? You ready for tomorrow?”

Sophia sighed. “I’m never ready, but I get through it anyway.”

After years of practice, she thought she’d get better at finding ways to honor her mother on the anniversary of her death. Unfortunately, each year on the day before the anniversary, Sophia found herself in bed, drowning her sorrows in ice cream and wine and by flipping through photo albums she’d studied backward and forward.

She knew every last inch of the photo album, had memorized all the details of her mother’s face, and committed to memory everything she knew.

Yet, Sophia still felt like she wasn’t able to capture her mom’s essence.

Nor would she ever since she hadn’t even known her.

“You do,” Zac agreed with a small smile. “You’re the strongest woman I know. I’m sorry I can’t be there with you. There’s a blockade right now.”

Sophia sunk lower against the mattress and frowned. “Is it safe to be there right now?”

Zac waved her comment away. “Yeah, you know there are a lot of blockades. We manage anyway. So, what’s new with you, Mom? Anything interesting?”

“Nora is retiring, and Valerie is going to be taking over as manager.”

Zac pulled a face. “I’m sorry. I know the two of you don’t get along. Might be time to start trying to get on her good side so she doesn’t make your life a living hell.”

“She’s already started,” Sophia joked with a shake of her head. “I don’t even know why she has such an issue with me.”

“Because she knows you’re a better pastry chef than her,” Zac responded. “Come on, you can’t tell me you don’t know that.”

“Of course, she knows that.” Zoe appeared in the doorway to Sophia’s room, dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with her hair braided to one side. “Even though Mom won’t admit it, deep down, I’m sure she knows what a badass she is.”

Sophia propped her phone down on the nightstand and scrambled out of bed. “Thank you, honey. What are you doing here?”

Zoe pulled her mom in for a hug and lingered. “I thought I could spend the night with you if that’s okay. We could catch up, maybe watch a movie. I’m due for some mother-daughter bonding time.”

“Stop stealing my ideas,” Zac complained, his voice filling the room. “I was going to keep Mom company.”

Zoe released Sophia and stuck her tongue out at her brother. “You snooze, you lose, Zacy.”

“I hate that nickname,” Zac grumbled darkly. “You use it on purpose just to annoy me. Admit it.”

“It’s not a secret,” Zoe replied cheerfully. She set her backpack down and wandered out into the kitchen. “At this point, annoying you is a part of my routine. I can’t not do it.”

Sophia snatched her phone off the nightstand, stuffed her feet into a pair of slippers, and hurried after her daughter. Zoe was opening and closing cupboards. Then she set down a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a few packs of chips. While she rummaged through the refrigerator, she and Zac traded insults and jabs, making Sophia feel as if nothing had changed. Like they were all still living under the same roof.

When Zoe’s face re-emerged, she was sniffing the containers of food. “Mom, no offense, but when was the last time you cleaned your fridge?”

Sophia paused and ran a hand over her face. “A few weeks ago, why?”

“A friend of mine started this cleaning service. I’m going to call him and ask for a favor. He owes me one.” Zoe set down several containers on the counter and began to dump the contents into the bin. As soon as she was done, she took the trash out and returned to wash her hands. In silence, she led Sophia to the couch, and the two of them settled in to watch a movie.

A short while later, Zac’s video call was disconnected.

Sophia brought her head to rest against Zoe’s shoulders and tried to focus on the movie. When the credits rolled, Sophia realized she had no idea what she’d watched. And when her dad appeared in her doorway, his shirt on backward and his heavy shadows etched onto his face, Sophia didn’t care. His eyes kept darting around, and he kept wringing his hands together, which only made the surge of feeling in the center of her chest, a mixture of bittersweet sadness and regret, grow further. She threw the blanket off, crossed over to her dad, and took him into her arms.

The two of them sank to the floor and burst into tears.

Zoe patted their backs and murmured to them.

Sophia rocked her dad back and forth till his shoulders were no longer heaving, and his sniffs subsided. Her heart felt heavy as she helped her father to his feet and took him into her bedroom. She stayed up with him till he fell asleep, then tiptoed into the living room. There, Zoe helped her set up the second pull-out couch, and the two of them whispered to each other late into the night.

In the morning, Ian and Lucy were the first to arrive, wearing somber expressions. Ian took their dad into the main house, and when they emerged, her father’s hair was slicked back, and he had on a suit that hung awkwardly off his frame.

Lucy lingered in Sophia’s apartment while Sophia and Zoe got dressed.

When Lily and Ben arrived, Zoe was forcing Sophia to scarf down a croissant. Wordlessly, Lily pulled Sophia in for a hug and patted her back. When they drew back, the sisters exchanged a quick look before ushering everyone outside. In silence, they poured into two cars, with Stu opting to go with Ian and Lucy while Sophia and Zoe rode in the car with Lily and Ben. Sophia spent the entire ride with her hands clasped behind her back and the sadness in her chest threatening to consume her.

Once they pulled up outside the cemetery on the outskirts of town, Ian and Lucy’s kids, Kelli, Dana, and Dean, were already there, forming a circle around Grandma Jen and Grandpa Frank, who stood side by side in front of the headstone. Together, they all trekked up the small hill and fanned out once they reached Kelly’s resting place.

Sophia’s heart was pounding in her ears as everyone took turns talking.

The smell of freshly cut grass and overturned earth lingered in the air.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Darren appear, dressed in his old wedding suit and with a strained look in his eyes. He offered her a tight smile and joined her family. Then, it was Sophia’s turn, and everyone else drifted further away, leaving her to her own devices.

Visiting her mother every week hadn’t gotten easy. If anything, it made Sophia miss her even more.

She had no idea how she could miss someone she’d never known, but it didn’t change how she felt. Nor did it change that coming here felt like having Kelly ripped away from her all over again.

With a frown, Sophia lowered herself onto the grass, the dress fanning out on either side of her. Like she usually did, she traced her mother’s name on the headstone, pausing at the last letter.

“I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, Mom,” Sophia whispered, her voice trailing off toward the end. “I thought I didn’t mind working for someone else, but I don’t know if I want to work for Valerie. She hates me.”

Muted conversations drifted over to where she sat, the grass tickling her bare knees. She withdrew her hand and clasped her fingers together. “Honestly, I’m not even sure if I’m happy at Nora’s Delights, but I don’t have another job lined up. I don’t know, Mom. It all feels very confusing right now.”

She glanced over at where her family stood in a circle, with her grandparents in the middle. Darren looked over at her, and she held his gaze for a few seconds before glancing away again. Her aunts and uncle had shown up a little later than everyone else, red-faced and harried.

“And I don’t know if I made the right decision leaving Darren,” Sophia added in a softer voice. “I wish you would send me a sign, anything to let me know that you think I’m on the right path.”

After a brief pause, Sophia rose to her feet and dusted herself off. As one, they all climbed back down the hill and piled into a few cars. Everyone drove toward Stu’s house, where they all prepared a meal in silence. When they sat down to dinner, it was a serious and quiet dinner, with only the sound of cutlery filling the air.

At the end of the night, when everyone else left except for Lily and Ben, who retired to Ian’s old room, Sophia stayed in the kitchen, whisking up some batter and trying not to let the day get to her.

Somehow, in spite of the years she’d had to make her peace with the fact that her mom was well and truly gone, it still left her with a lump in her throat and an ache in her chest.