Text Messages
Alex: good morning. if you kiss a straight man on the cheek what are the chances he does NOT interpret that as flirting
Eliza: did you make skin-to-skin contact? Or was it like one of those French air kisses
Alex: contact but dry and very brief
Cam: as opposed to a WET cheek kiss?? Thanks for clarifying it wasn’t sloppy
Alex: idk!! I’m just providing details in case they’re relevant
Eliza: what was his reaction
Cam: yeah did he start heavy breathing
Alex: so
Alex: I don’t actually know how he reacted because I did it and then immediately ran away
Eliza: that tracks
Alex: He was parked in front of my dad’s house! I didn’t wanna get caught lingering on those weird little cameras he installed!!
Cam: what is your relationship to this straight man
Alex: …coworker-ish?
Eliza: GIRL
Eliza: WHAT
Cam: brb calling HR
Alex: no, wait. It’s not that bad. he doesn’t work at the vet.
Alex: he’s just this random rich guy who’s in town for a few weeks so he hired me to show him around
Cam: okay Pretty Woman!!
Alex: omg dont start
Eliza: is the rich stranger hot?
Alex: objectively, yes
Cam: Oh objectively, huh?
Cam: *whoopigoldbergyouindangergirl.gif*
Eliza: what prompted the spontaneous cheek kissing?
Alex: he was being sweet and funny and idk it was dark?
Cam: Are you trying to [redacted] this man?
Alex: no. He would never.
Eliza: wtf why not? He should be so lucky!
Alex: im pretty sure he considered kissing me one time and then the idea immediately filled him with terror and/or revulsion
Alex: so do I bring it up the next time I see him? Like do I apologize?
Cam: I think you have to wait and gauge his response. You dont want to make a huge deal out of this and then find out he wrote it off as friendly. Or European. If he pretends it didn’t happen you should too
Eliza: when are you seeing him next?
Alex: day after tomorrow. Pre-kiss I told him I was volunteering at the county fair this weekend and he got REALLY excited about cotton candy
Cam: only in Florida would you have a fair in January
Alex: they’re catering to snowbirds
Eliza: is it possible the county fair will have…a kissing booth
Cam: Jacob Elordi hive rise up