Fangs & Freaks (Shifters of Myths and Legends #1)

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Bellonna

Varys closes the bathroom door behind him. It’s just a soft click, but the sound hits me like a roaring thunderclap in the silence that encases the room. My breath catches in my throat, my chest tightening with an ache so deep it feels like my ribs might crack under the weight of it. He just left the room, without so much as a word. He just walked away from me, carrying his pain with him.

I stand frozen, staring at the door as if it might swing back open, as if he might change his mind and come back. But the stillness mocks me, and the feeling that was there when we were together is now a void pulling at the edges of my world. His absence is almost tangible. It feels as if the air has thinned, and breathing has now become a conscious effort.

“What do I do?” I ask myself softly, the words filled with pain and confusion. I never thought I’d have a mate. I thought it was my destiny to be alone forever.

“He’ll come around, Bellonna.” Lilith’s voice startles me out of my thoughts and I turn to face her.

“I thought I told you to leave?”

“I did, but heard you questioning yourself,” she says as she steps towards me. “You must realize he’s young, and this is new. His situation is not typically how you find out you have a mate, especially one as powerful and feared as you. Now, where your mate is concerned, that is for you to decide. It doesn’t change the destiny you have before you. Either he’s there by your side, or you let him go. Reject his mate bond, cut his mark from your skin, and live with the agony that will cause the both of you.” With her final words, Lilith leaves just as quickly as she arrived, leaving me alone and with a million thoughts running through my head.

I can feel it—his pain, raw and heavy, radiating like heat. It clings to the air, wrapping around me, cutting through the confusion that churns in my mind. Why didn’t he stay? Why didn’t he continue to service me like the obedient toy he should be? No, instead of allowing me to shoulder some of the weight I know he’s carrying with this new discovery, he leaves the room without even a word. Questions circle my mind, replaying like a broken record, relentless and sharp, each one leaving me with a sharp sting and an overwhelming sense of unknowing.

He’s hurting, that much is clear, but the way he looked at me before he turned away—there was something more. Anguish? Resignation? Fear? I don’t know the name for it, but it twists like a coil deep inside me, sharp and cruel, because whatever it is, it was enough to make him leave me. Does he hate the idea of being mated to a monster like me? A cruel and unforgiving being whose sole purpose in life is to bring torment to others. I chose this world I’m part of; he didn’t. His choice was made by three twisted bitches called fates.

I want to scream, to cry, to call him back. But it’s as if my voice is blocked by a lump in my throat, and the tears refuse to fall. I hate these feelings. I cry for no one. The day I died and became this abomination, I swore I’d never shed a tear for anyone again. I’d never get close, and most importantly, no one would ever have a piece of my heart again. Yet, one call for me to help and I’ve thrown all those promises to the wind. Because whether I want to admit it or not, the unicorn has firmly seated himself in my being. Then there are the other two; the darkness within them swirls around me, consuming me in a way that’s so intense I can’t stop thinking of them. Anyone else I would’ve ended by now, long bored with the game, but with those two, I haven’t.

Two souls of darkness, and one of purity. They wrap around my soulless being, making me feel things I don’t want to. I hate this. Feeling this way. I want it to end, but there’s fear of what it will be like to be alone again. All I can do is stand here, replaying the moment over and over in my mind, each time hoping for a different ending. But there’s not one. Varys is my mate. Linked to me for eternity.

The silence grows heavier, pressing down on me like a weight. Memories rush back to me of the day I died, the pain I felt underneath the stones as they crushed me, cutting off more of my air as each second ticked by. But this is even more suffocating than that was. The helplessness of watching Varys retreat into his pain, refusing to let me in. And yet, beneath it all, there was a flicker of something else—something colder. Hurt. The sting of being shut out, of having my presence cast aside, knowing I wasn’t enough to make him stay and process this new development together.

Is this what it’s like having a mate? The unyielding torment and worry. The fear of being rejected. How far have I fallen that I’m letting a man—no, men—cause me this much heartache? I’m fucking Bloody Mary! I don’t let anyone have power over me.

Yet, I’m letting Varys.

I wrap my arms around myself, as if I could hold myself together in the face of everything I can’t understand. My chest aches, my mind races, and my heart thuds with a rhythm that feels uneven, out of sync. Somewhere deep down, I know he isn’t just walking away from me- he’s running from his own demons. Or maybe it's the demon side of me. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

No, he doesn’t get to be in there while I stand here in turmoil. We’re bonded. Mated together for life. Either we face this head on, or end it now, rejecting each other and living with the agony that it brings to us.

It’s now or never. I make my way across the room, taking hold of the handle, and take a deep breath. I can feel his heart pounding, and it spurs mine on. But we need to handle this now. I turn the handle, pushing the door open. He’s standing in front of the sink, his hands gripping the gray porcelain so tightly his knuckles have drained of blood. His head is slumped forward and his shoulders tense.

“What's wrong, unicorn?” I ask, giving him the leeway to answer without pressure.

He doesn’t turn around, nor look up, even to catch a glimpse of me in the mirror. “We’re mates.” Two words, yet they cut through me like a knife. He doesn’t want this, us, me.

“Yes, I know. It’s a shock to me as well.” I take a step forward, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. If he were to reject my touch, I don’t know how I would take it. “You’re mine. Did you not want to be mated to a monster like me?”

Whatever I said gets his attention and he lifts his head, spinning around so he’s facing me. “No, it's not that. You’re not a monster, Bellonna. You did what you had to do to survive. Anyone would do the same in your position. I can’t even imagine going through the pain you endured at the hands of those you trusted, who you called friends.”

“Then what is it? You’ve got to help me out here. I may be all powerful and can feel your emotions, but I can’t read your mind. You need to use your words and tell me. If me being Bloody Mary isn’t the issue, then what is? Why leave me alone like you did? Why run from me as if you’re afraid of me?” I step closer into his bubble, our bodies so close that I can feel his breath on me.

He reaches out, taking my hand in his, lifting it to his lips, kissing each of my fingers softly. A plethora of emotions course through me, desire and love the greatest.

“It’s not you Bellonna, it’s me.”

The greatest line in history and he’s using it on me. Really. What the fuck. Rage begins to replace all other emotions and I’m ready to smite him with all my force. Men are fucking raging idiots. How dare he take my hand and perform such a sweet gesture, then hit me with this line of crap.

“Varys—” He places his finger over my mouth, shushing me.

“Let me finish. I can see you already starting to get angry, and I know you’ve taken my words the wrong way. I literally mean that it’s me. I’m the problem, not you, or who you are, but me.”

“Then maybe you should fucking explain it better,” I mumble around his fingers.

“Yeah, guess I’m not doing such a good job at that. I’m a unicorn, Bellonna. We’re rare. Our kind was never meant to be monogamous, though a few of us do become that when we find our mate, our other half. It’s not a bond like the one we just made. And you’re an immortal legend. Surely you’re not monogamous either.”

“Okay. So you have a mate. We’re bonded. It’s something neither of us expected to happen, but it has. We can accept it, or we can reject each other. Either way, you are mine. I’ll just have to decide how I plan to navigate that. How do you know we couldn’t be monogamous? It’s a word, and its definition can be left to interpretation. It’s what we want it to be.”

He releases my hand, cupping my cheek, as he leans in and kisses me softly on my lips.

“I also know that you’ve been teasing and somewhat intimate with the president and vice president of a certain MC.”

“You know nothing,” I snap in a whisper, placing my hand on his chest.

“Oh, but I do, Bellonna. It’s not like it’s any different for me. I think you’d like to see me getting fucked while I feast on that pretty little pussy of yours. Or maybe you want them feasting on your pussy while I fuck you. Their tongues lapping at your cunt and my cock at the same time.” His voice is husky and laden with sexual tension; I can’t help but whimper.

He kisses me again, this time deepening it as he pulls my body firmly against his. His hard cock presses against me, teasing me with images of him buried deep inside of me. Varys’ arms wrap around me, lifting me into the air. As if guided by instinct or muscle memory, my legs wrap around his waist as he moves forward, stepping out of the bathroom back into my bedroom. He doesn’t look; it’s as if he has every inch of my abode memorized.

“I can’t wait to taste you again,” he mumbles into my mouth.

“Then taste me,” I reply. He drops me down on the bed, then climbs between my legs. He sticks out his long, broad, thick tongue and I’m already tingling, knowing what’s about to come. Or cum, in my case.

He slides his tongue through my already wet folds, all the way up to my clit, swirling his tongue teasingly around it, before biting down, with just enough force to cause pain, but not draw blood.

“God, you’re delicious.” His husky voice sends chills through me as he begins feasting on my pussy.

“ Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,” echoes in my head. Fucking Christ! Damn orgasm blockers.