Far From Home

Chapter 12

Arielle and Marianna spent all their time talking and being together for the rest of the week, until Marianna had to make a decision about returning to the beer garden to work. Her mother didn’t like the idea, but Marianna was a grown woman and had to make her own decisions. Arielle’s alternate suggestion was to rent a small furnished apartment for a couple of months. She had gotten enough for her jewelry for both of them to live on for several months without risking Marianna’s life every night among the soldiers at the beer garden. Arielle wanted to go back to the Chateau de Villier sometime in August, and make some decisions about her own life and where she wanted to live. Paris was the most appealing, and made the most sense. She didn’t want to live in Normandy forever. She would have to find a job herself, and it would be easier to find work in Paris.

Marianna didn’t want to leave Berlin at the moment. She wanted to spend time with Tim while he was there, which wouldn’t be for long. She didn’t want to miss the time with him, and regret it later.

The first decision made was Marianna’s, to quit her job and give up her room at the apartment. She felt guilty for abandoning Hedi and Claudia, but there were three other women at the beer garden who wanted to move in, so Marianna’s conscience was clear, and she hadn’t left them in dire straits financially. Hedi and Claudia were very nice about it.

The second decision was up to Sebastien. Arielle asked him if he wanted to join them in a furnished apartment in Berlin. It would be cheaper than the hotel and they were all trying to be careful with money at the moment, with so much change in the air and so much unknown. Josephine would be in the hospital for another month or two so he couldn’t leave Berlin yet.

Sebastien thought about it for a night, and knocked on Arielle’s door in the morning. “I’m in for the apartment. It makes more sense than staying here at the hotel.” She agreed.

“I’m thinking two months, maybe till mid-August. I’d like to spend a couple of weeks at the chateau in August,” she explained, and he nodded.

“That sounds perfect to me,” he agreed. “I was thinking about Normandy in August, I’d like to show Josephine what it’s like there. And the air will do her good. And then I need to have her in Paris on the first of September for school. I’ve spoken to them and they’re going to start her part-time with a tutor until she’s stronger. It will be good for her to be with other kids her age, and start to live a normal life again. Her experience will always be different than theirs. But I’ll be there to help her.” They both wondered how she would forget what she’d seen in four years, and what she’d lived through. He had to be mother and father to her now, without Naomi or anyone to help him. It was all up to him, but it was exciting to be making plans for normal life with her. Each day felt like a gift.

Arielle told Marianna about the plan, and she loved the idea of spending a few weeks at Villier the way she had when they were children. And her cousin Sylvie was coming home in August when the last American soldiers left. Sylvie and Marianna were the only two young cousins left, which was sad. They had both lost their brothers and fathers, but it made it even more vital to spend time together as a family. And Marianna wanted to ask Tim to get leave, if they let him, so he could join them there too. Marianna’s family was important to her and she wanted him to meet them.

“You know,” Arielle said to Sebastien, “I’ll bet that Jeanne and Louis would put us all up in August. They have the room, and it really would be fun to be together.”

“I leave that up to you. Josephine and I can stay in my old room if we have to. I can sleep on the couch, and Josephine can have my bed. The logistics aren’t that complicated.” But Arielle wanted them to stay at the chateau.

So the plan was made for all of them to spend the last two weeks of August at the Chateau de Villier. It gave them all a goal, with an apartment in Berlin in the meantime, so they could finish their business there. Sebastien had to finish his arrangements with Josephine’s old school in Paris, while she recovered. Arielle wanted to be with Marianna, wherever she was, and Marianna wanted time in Berlin with Tim, before he went back to the States.

Arielle called Jeanne the next day. She was delighted to have them all come to the chateau in August. Arielle said they’d share the cooking and the cleaning, to lighten the load on her. The last unit of Americans would be gone by then and they could celebrate Sylvie’s return.

Sebastien told Josephine the plan, and it gave her a goal to work toward, to be able to leave the hospital in the next eight weeks. She had to get strong enough to do it. The nurses wanted to get her walking soon.

Arielle called a realtor, a woman she knew well, and asked her to find a temporary furnished apartment for the next two months. They needed three or four bedrooms. Arielle said she could share with Marianna if she had to.

“That should be easy,” Hilde Albrecht said. “Everyone who can wants to get out of Berlin right now, and they need money. A two- or three-month rental will allow someone to go on vacation and pay for it. I’ll see what I can do short-term.” Arielle’s jewelry fund could handle it, and Sebastien was going to pay half the rent, which worked for both of them.

Hilde found a very pleasant four-bedroom apartment with a garden in Pankow. Sebastien came to look at it with her, and Marianna joined them. The vote was unanimous. It was exactly what they needed. It had a genteel, grandmotherly feeling. It was available immediately and they moved out of the hotel. Life was beginning to feel sane and manageable again. No one was fearing for their life. The SS no longer existed. Bombs weren’t dropping. There were no Gestapo patrols, no threats, no worries. And Josephine was slowly regaining her health.

—

When Tim came back from his visit to the camps, he was shaken to his core, and told Marianna about it. All four of the men on his team had cried with each visit, at the inhumanity they had witnessed, even now that the camps were empty. The spirits of those who had suffered there were ever present. Tim couldn’t sleep at night, he was haunted by what they’d seen and learned. The crematoria, the thousands of unmarked mass graves, the torture rooms, the ghoulish medical experiments with careful notes about each of them. There were more horrors than he wanted to tell Marianna about, and he was greatly relieved that she had quit her job, left her apartment, and found her mother. She was infinitely happier by the time he got back, and she and Arielle had already moved into the temporary apartment with Sebastien, which was an improvement from her old one, with the unsavory things that went on, and in a bad neighborhood which wasn’t safe.

“You people certainly move fast,” he said to Marianna.

“That’s my mother. She’s very organized and makes things happen.”

“Apparently. And when am I going to meet her?”

“Whenever you like. She wants to meet you too.”

He invited Marianna and her mother to dinner a few days later. More restaurants in Berlin had begun to open with normal service. They had a very pleasant dinner getting to know each other. Tim and Marianna spent another evening with her mother and added Sebastien to the group. He and Tim got on extremely well and managed with Tim’s French and Sebastien’s English, and both of them were lawyers. They spent part of the evening discussing the best ways to apply for restitution for Marianna and her mother, and in what amount. They made a pact to work on it together, as attorneys, pro bono.

When Josephine was stronger, Arielle and Marianna visited her in the hospital. She was doing well, and she thought both women were beautiful, and Marianna was a lot of fun. Marianna was very sweet to her, and brought her a pretty pink sweater and a lipstick to match. She’d never had a lipstick, and she loved it. The evenings worked well too. Marianna was out with Tim almost every night, and Sebastien and Arielle spent quiet evenings together, taking turns cooking at the apartment while Marianna was out.

Sebastien was researching the current restitution laws both in Germany and in France, for the Auspecks and for his future clients, helping them to make claims on their former apartments, and regain them. He found some very interesting loopholes, which worked in their favor, and he checked them out with Tim, who agreed. Tim thought Sebastien was a very good lawyer, and sole practitioner without the benefit, or the headaches, of a large firm.

Sebastien put a notice in a Paris newspaper, encouraging people to reclaim their former apartments, or at least negotiate with those who had taken them under unfair terms. He had five responses the first week, and twelve the next. There were good deals to be made. And he made a day trip to Paris, to rent new office space, and an apartment starting in September.

“I like your mom’s boyfriend,” Tim said to Marianna one night, and she looked surprised.

“He’s not her boyfriend, they’re just friends.”

“Are you sure? It doesn’t look like that to me. And he lives in the apartment with you, doesn’t he?”

“He has his own room at the other end of the apartment. I think my mother is still mourning my father, it’s only been a year. And he just found out a few weeks ago that his wife died.”

“She died four years ago,” he reminded her. “I think there’s something there. Whenever I talk to him, he’s very concerned and protective of her, and he’s putting a lot of work into getting a very sizable restitution for both of you. Your parents lost everything because of your father’s involvement in Operation Valkyrie, and he lost his life. There are still soldiers billeted in your family’s schloss. I think they’re Russian now, but the German High Command used it before, and your parents’ home, and they ransacked the place and took everything.”

“I know,” she said sadly. She didn’t like to think about it.

“Do you think you’d ever want the schloss back?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Not if we don’t live in Germany. My mother doesn’t want to live here anymore. I don’t want to either. I think she’s going to live in Paris. She’s always loved it, it’s close to my cousins, and Germany will take years to rebuild. And the schloss costs a fortune to staff and run and keep in good repair. We don’t have that kind of money anymore, or any.”

“You might one day, if they honor the claim Sebastien makes on your behalf. He’s a smart guy and a good lawyer. Germans are resourceful, they’ll rebuild sooner than you think.” Tim looked at her seriously then. “Would you ever consider living in the States?” Her family was so European, both German and French, he wasn’t sure she would want to. He’d been wanting to ask her. If not, they’d be leaving each other in a few months forever. He couldn’t practice law in Europe. He was enjoying it, but his base was in New York, his family and his whole career. He wanted to go back. He couldn’t stay, even for her.

“I’ve never thought about it,” Marianna admitted, and then smiled shyly, “until I met you. Do you think people would accept me? We’ve been enemies for four years.”

“You’re more international than German, and your father did try to kill Hitler. Definitely a point in your favor,” he teased her. “I thought you were kidding the first time you told me,” he said, “until your last name rang a bell. That’s quite a distinction. It will be remembered in history.”

“It cost him his life,” she said.

“The war cost a lot of lives it shouldn’t have,” he said, thinking about the camps. He couldn’t get the images out of his mind, or the witness accounts. “Wars are never a good idea, and always destructive. Look at the mess they leave behind. I’m sure Berlin was a beautiful city before this, and it will be again. Do you think you’ll miss it, if you move to Paris with your mother?” She shook her head.

“I have too many bad memories here now.” She was thinking of her father, Jürgen dying, his parents’ cruelty to her, her brother dead, and losing her mother for a year, which had been traumatic. She was enjoying being with Arielle now, and closer to her than ever. She didn’t want to leave her.

“New York would be a clean slate for you,” he said gently, “and you’re so young, you could adjust. It’s a very international city.”

“So is Paris,” she said mischievously. And then more seriously, “Don’t tease me with something you don’t really want.”

“Would you want that? To be in New York with me?” he asked her solemnly. They were having dinner in one of Berlin’s finer restaurants that was up and running again, despite the chaos still in the streets. “It’s something for both of us to think about, before we get in over our heads.”

“I think I already am in over my head,” she confessed in a shy voice. “I love you, Tim.” It had happened so fast, but she knew she did. War somehow magnified everything, including feelings, and made everything deeper faster, the good and the bad.

He gently put a hand on hers across the table. “I already am too. I love you, Marianna. You’re not in this alone. I just don’t want either of us to get carried away in the heat of the moment and do something we’ll regret later. I don’t want you to get hurt. You’ve had enough of that for one lifetime.” She nodded, she agreed. Losing Jürgen had been brutal, and her father, and her brother. But she and Tim seemed to understand each other so well and have so much in common. It was confusing at times, her feelings for him were so powerful that it stunned her, and he felt that way too. He loved finding her at the end of every day. He already knew that he’d miss her terribly when he left. He wasn’t looking forward to it, and it was making him move forward cautiously, while he tried to figure out just how serious this was, and if they could make a life together in a place where nothing would be familiar to her. It was beginning to seem like it was very serious. He was sorry at times that his sisters, Audrey and Elizabeth, weren’t around to talk to about it. They usually gave him good advice, especially Audrey, who was married. Elizabeth had never married and was much tougher in her opinions, and afraid of long-term relationships. He had a strong feeling that he needed to figure this out for himself, without anyone else’s influence.

—

While Arielle spent every moment she could with her daughter to make up for the year they had lost, Sebastien was spending all of his days in the hospital with Josephine. She talked about the camps sometimes, and the terrible things she’d seen there, the people who had died around her, the children who had been shot to punish their mothers. She remembered the day her mother had gone to the gas chamber. She had made a game of it. A guard had warned Naomi ahead of time. She was sick and growing weaker, so they dispensed with her. At eleven, Josephine had been stronger and healthier than her mother. At one point, she had been part of a team that pulled a cement truck, and everyone who had fallen down had been beaten or shot. It was when they had broken her arms. A Jewish doctor in the camp had set them for her, without anesthetic. The camp doctors didn’t bother with her, and she would have lost normal use of her arms if they hadn’t been properly set.

The thing that always amazed Sebastien was that Josephine had no bitterness in her, no hatred toward anyone. She deplored what they had done to so many others, but she didn’t hate them for it, or for what they had done to her. The one thing she would never forgive was that they had killed her mother. But she spoke about the rest as though it had happened to someone else and not to her. Some powerful force in her had protected her psyche and her soul. She had grown into womanhood and early adulthood in the camps, and miraculously, the Nazis had never raped her or used her for medical experiments. They had just worked her until they almost killed her, almost as though they were testing her strength. Sebastien recognized that even at fifteen, she was a much bigger, stronger person than most adults he knew, and he admired her endlessly for it. She was an extraordinary young woman with a light in her that shone from within. And Naomi was part of that light and would shine brightly forever through her daughter.

—

At Tim’s request, Sebastien had allowed him to come and talk to Josephine, and to record her accounts of what had happened in Auschwitz and then at Ravensbrück. He said that everything she told them would help them seek justice, and he asked Sebastien if he would allow her to testify at the war trials that were already in the planning stages. She would be a little older by the time they happened later that year.

Sebastien said he’d have to think about it, and see how well she was doing at the time, or if there had been repercussions, but he would allow them to use the recordings of her recollections. They were more damning than anything anyone could say, seen through the eyes of a child. It was heartbreaking listening to what she said. Her words were more powerful than what the Nazis had done to her.

—

By the beginning of August, Josephine was walking around the hospital freely, and had gained enough weight to be less at risk from complications. She weighed seventy-five pounds, up from her original fifty when she was admitted. She was the height of an average woman.

The doctors had allowed her father to take her out, and to visit the apartment. She had grown comfortable around Marianna, and was somewhat attached to Arielle as a mother figure. She seemed to be hungry for the company of women, and worshipped her father.

She asked Marianna to teach her how to apply makeup, and Sebastien was shocked when he came to the hospital one day and found her wearing light makeup, a touch of mascara and light pink lipstick. And Marianna had done her short hair in a playful pixie cut. She had lent Josephine a navy skirt and pink silk sweater, since she was always cold because she was so thin. But she looked surprisingly grown-up, like a proper young lady and not a little girl. His baby had grown up, and she and Marianna had a good time together, which had brought Sebastien even closer to Arielle.

They had had a brief religious ceremony for Naomi, which all four of them had attended, and Tim joined them. It was very moving and Josephine and Sebastien both seemed more at peace afterward.

Arielle helped Josephine shop for new clothes before she left the hospital. She wanted to look more adult now, and not dress like a child. Marianna and Arielle took her shopping together, and Sebastien was deeply grateful to them, and delighted with the result. She looked beautiful in her new clothes.

—

When they left the apartment in mid-August, Sebastien took his belongings with him. He wouldn’t be coming back to Berlin. And he had given up his room in Normandy. He and Josephine would be going directly from the Chateau de Villier to their new apartment in Paris, so Josephine could start school and work with her tutor. Sebastien had rented an apartment in the 15th arrondissement, with an office on the ground floor for his law practice. He had been allowed to renew his license to practice law without incident, and he was restored as an attorney in good standing, with an official apology from the government. He was going to make do without a secretary for a while, to see how well his practice went. He already had several pro bono clients lined up for his special project of people who wanted their apartments back, or to be paid fair market value for them, or the appropriate back rent for the past five or six years. The people who had received notices to that effect were scurrying to get lawyers, and Sebastien had them on the run, which was his intention for the benefit of his clients with no profit for himself. He intended to charge his business clients appropriately, but not the deportees. He wanted to handle their cases for free.

—

As arranged, the group was meeting at the chateau on the fifteenth of August. Arielle and Marianna, Sebastien and Josephine, and Tim, who had scheduled a two-week leave. They were all looking forward to it. And so were Jeanne and Louis. The American soldiers at the chateau were down to a handful of men by then as peacekeepers in the area. Jeanne and Louis hardly saw them. They were so discreet that Jeanne let Sylvie come home a few weeks early, before they left.

The first thing that Sebastien and Arielle did after they arrived was visit Olivia Laporte. She had hired another man at the store by then, but she complained that there was no one like the two of them. And Arielle stopped by to visit Nicole Bouchon, and moved her remaining things to the chateau, to her old childhood room there, which she still enjoyed occupying. Nicole was particularly sad to see Arielle leave, but she was happy she had found her daughter. Arielle brought her a very fine bottle of cognac, and promised to visit her whenever she came to Normandy.

—

The group at the chateau was lively and fun. They played charades and cards at night, and made big dinners. They bought local seafood. They played badminton and croquet, and went swimming at the beach. It was a time of rest and relaxation, long late-night conversations, good wine, trying to figure out their plans for the future, and deepening relationships. It was a time of change for all of them. Sylvie came home while they were there. At seventeen, she was two years older than Josephine, and they became fast friends and spent hours confiding in each other and sharing secrets. Jeanne and her daughter had to forge a new, more mature relationship after five years apart. Jeanne blossomed, and smiled all the time once her daughter was home. She had been childless for five years, and lost a husband and a son. But her time with Sylvie was the future.

Sebastien and Arielle were walking in the woods near the chateau one afternoon, and lay down on the grass in a field when they got tired. There were wildflowers all around them. They had been talking about Josephine and her tutor, when Sebastien’s voice trailed off and he couldn’t stop looking at Arielle. He felt as though he were seeing her for the first time and he pulled her gently toward him and kissed her. She was startled and didn’t know how to react at first, and then she just responded naturally and kissed him back, and they couldn’t stop. Their passion almost overwhelmed them as they lay beside each other in the grass.

He was worried afterward that she’d be angry with him.

“Why would I be angry with you? You’re my closest friend and confidant and I love you. Maybe this is just an additional way to express it.” The way she said it instantly dissolved any feelings of guilt he had toward Naomi. He had been feeling attracted to Arielle for months, and felt tormented by it as long as he thought Naomi was coming back. Now he knew she wasn’t, and he felt free to express his feelings for Arielle.

“I think I fell in love with you a long time ago and I was afraid to admit it to myself as much as to you. I don’t feel guilty now. You’re the best person I know.”

“I love you too,” Arielle said peacefully. She still loved Gregor, but he was in a separate place in her heart now, and there was room for Sebastien. Their relationship had been building for months.

“Will you come and live with us in Paris?” he asked her.

“One day. I want to wait and see what Marianna is going to do. When she has her own life again, I’ll feel free to have mine.”

“Don’t wait too long, I’m going to miss you terribly.” She had been thinking of getting her own apartment in Paris and now she wondered if she should. It would be simpler to just move in with him, if there was room. But she needed her own space too, and room for her daughter. She had to find a job, and wanted to be independent. She didn’t want to be dependent on Sebastien. She wasn’t the same woman who’d been married to Gregor. This was a different life, a different man, and she was different too.

He kissed her again then, and they lay in the grass pressed together, as the desire for each other became almost unbearable and impossible to repress. He stroked her hair and her neck and her breast, and his hands found their way under her clothes. It felt as though they had waited a lifetime for each other.

“We’re going to be late for dinner,” she whispered to him, breathless from their kisses.

“I don’t care,” he whispered back. “I want to make love to you.”

“Now? Here?” She looked surprised and she smiled, and they gave in to what they had hidden from for so long, and there were no ghosts around them. They were alone, and their lovemaking was sweet and sure and strong. When it was over, he held her for a long time, and then they got up and ran back to the house laughing, feeling young and happy and bonded to each other. Tim saw them as they ran back to the chateau, and he smiled.

—

The next day, the day after the first time she and Sebastien made love, Tim came and spoke to Arielle after breakfast. She was standing on the terrace and looking at the woods, thinking of what she and Sebastien had done the day before, and she couldn’t wait to do it again. They had a whole life ahead of them to make love and be together. It felt good to look forward instead of back.

“Can I speak to you?” Tim asked her, and for a minute, she thought something was wrong.

“Of course.” She set her cup down on a table and sat down. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes. I’ve never done this before. I’m not quite sure how this works.” She smiled and could guess what was coming. “I’m in love with your daughter. I would like to ask you for her hand in marriage. I want your permission to propose to her,” he said stiffly. His knees were shaking and he felt like a kid. “I’ve never felt this way before.”

“You have my permission and my blessing.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, and patted his shoulder. “She loves you very much too. And I think you’re going to be wonderful together. When are you thinking of asking her?”

“I don’t know. I’m leaving Berlin at the beginning of October. I need to get the paperwork in order so I can bring her over to the States and we can marry in New York.”

“Would you consider getting married here?” she asked him. “That might mean a lot to her, and to me.”

“I think it’s complicated for Americans to get married in Europe, and especially to a German right now. I have to look into it.”

“Maybe you could do the religious ceremony here at the chateau, and do the civil part when she can come to you in New York.” He thought about it and nodded.

“My sisters could be at the civil ceremony when Marianna arrives in New York, and all of you could be here for the religious part. I like the idea of getting married at the chateau,” he said. “There’s an additional wrinkle that might come up,” he said, and for a minute Arielle was afraid that he was going to tell her Marianna was pregnant. “I’ve been helping them set the stage for the Nuremberg trials. I knew I wouldn’t be here by then, and I promised my law firm I’d be back on deck in New York by the end of the year. Nuremberg starts on November 20. There’s a rumor that they might ask me to be one of the trial lawyers involved. It’s a great honor and I’d love to do it. And I’ve come to care deeply about the victims of the camps. I want to be part of it, to defend their interests and give them justice as best we can. My law partners are going to kill me, but if the government asks me to be part of the war trials, I’m going to accept. I’m not sure what that will do to the schedule. Maybe I can start the ball rolling now if Marianna accepts me, have her fly over to the States in October for a civil ceremony, and then we get married here right before Nuremberg starts, or sometime in late November or December. The trials are expected to go for a year, and we’d be living in Germany for that year, so you could visit us in Nuremberg, or Marianna can spend time with you in Paris when I’m busy. It is going to be Paris, isn’t it?” he asked her with a twinkle in his eye.

“It looks like it.” She smiled mysteriously.

“Any chance of a double wedding?” he asked her seriously, and pretending to tease her.

“We haven’t gotten that far,” she said simply.

“Then I was right. Marianna says that you and Sebastien are just friends.”

“That was true until recently.” She smiled at her future son-in-law. “Something changed,” she said.

“I don’t think anything changed, you two were just the last ones to notice it. And you both needed to make your peace with past history.”

“You’re right,” she said quietly. “That’s a hard thing to do. And it’s still early. How do you think Marianna would feel about it, if we made it official? She was very attached to her father.” Arielle didn’t want to hurt her or disrespect Gregor.

“She likes Sebastien a lot, and she wants you to be happy. The last years taught all of us important lessons, about what matters and what doesn’t. If you two want to get married, you should.”

“He hasn’t asked me. And if he doesn’t, that’s all right too. We’re fine as we are.” She felt totally at peace with whatever they did. And Sebastien had to heal from Naomi too.

“I’d better get moving on this, so we can take care of the legalities in New York in October, and have the religious ceremony here after that. I’ll have to talk to my commanding officer about the paperwork.”

“Congratulations on the Nuremberg trials too,” she said.

“They haven’t asked me yet.”

“They will,” she said, and then they went to find the others. Arielle was happy for Marianna. She deserved all the joy Arielle was sure she’d have with Tim. She wanted Marianna to find peace and healing from her losses and war wounds. Tim seemed like the right man. She had no doubts about their future. It looked very bright.

She hadn’t figured out her own plans with Sebastien yet, and was in no rush. She knew she wanted to move to Paris, and time would unveil the rest.