Chapter 36
Jase
R achel melted into my body, but as she did, guilt gripped me by the fucking throat. I took her blood while she was wasted, and the monster in me didn’t want to stop. I had to have her—all of her—even if she resisted and fought against me.
But right now, she didn’t. Rachel kissed me back, the taste of her mouth blending with the sweetness of her blood on my tongue.
Her hand slid to the back of my head as I pressed into her, fingers tightening in my hair at the scalp. Fuck.
I was so fucking hard for her, my dick painfully straining against my jeans.
One of my hands reached down and cupped her ass, lifting her up on the wall while our bodies remained flush. With my knee between her thighs to keep her still, my other hand gripped both her wrists and pinned them above her head while I continued to taste her mouth, like it was made for my lips.
Over the last four years of watching Rachel in the shadows, I’d imagined what it would feel like to have her lips against mine. I only had a taste of that when she drank from me, but nothing—and I mean nothing—could compare to what was happening now.
As we kissed against the wall, my mind told me to stop. Why was Rachel so eager to kiss me back? Was it because she was drunk, or was it because of the bond’s influence? I’d earned nothing from her. She shouldn’t want this.
And neither should I.
The screaming voice in my head begged me to let her go. But then the burning sensation of the rune on my stomach flared to life, silencing it. It was a cruel reminder that our paths weren’t ours to choose—whether it was an angel, fate, or some twisted cosmic joke that did this to us. There was no escaping my feelings for Rachel, no matter how hard I wanted to fight them.
This wasn’t me. I didn’t do love or relationships. For years, I believed my soul was gone forever. Valentina ripped the humanity from me when I asked her to turn me. How could I possibly feel so strongly about someone?
If Valentina was telling the truth, how much of my broken soul would be present right now to allow the possibility of something happening between Rachel and me?
The more she moaned against my mouth, the more guilt squeezed me.
Doubt ultimately won, and I broke the kiss, releasing her, and pulled away from that warm mouth. Then I stepped farther back, my eyes taking her in. Despite her swollen pink lips and heaving breasts, the way she glared at me warned me not to try it again. Rachel still had her back pressed to the wall, and her hands trembled slightly. I couldn’t tell if she was mad that I kissed her or pulled away so quickly. Maybe she believed she repulsed me.
Quite the opposite. It took all of my willpower not to grab Rachel and fuck her right there in front of everyone.
A heavy silence hung between us, and my quickened breaths matched hers as I watched her expression turn into an even deadlier scowl.
She wanted to slap me.
Maybe even kill me.
“Get back on the dance floor without me,” I ordered, my voice cold and distant.
There. I made the decision for you.
“This was a big fucking mistake,” I added.
I didn’t want to see the look on her face as I hurried away from her, heading outside to calm the fuck down.
The cool evening air greeted me as I stepped onto the concrete pad near the parking lot. I looked around, spotting a couple of humans hanging out on the covered patio. They had the same idea as I did.
The fresh air felt good, and I took a deep breath, hoping it would quell the raging storm in my gut … and dick. I leaned against a crumbling alley wall, taking several more breaths to calm down. The taste of Rachel’s blood lingered on my tongue. She tasted like sweet honey and power that threatened to undo me.
What the hell was I thinking?
The bond was a tethered chain, dragging me toward her, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Rachel deserved better than this—more than the beast I’d let myself become. And tonight, I’d let it win. Kissing her was bad enough. Drinking from her while she was drunk off her ass? I was no better than my damn brother.
The sound of footsteps against the nearby cobblestone walkway caused me to pause my thoughts. I didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Tony and Lucy—Rachel’s little shadows. Did she send them?
“Are you fucking serious?” Lucy hissed as she stopped in front of me. She crossed her arms, the glint of her fangs visible under the neon sign above her. “You drank from her, Jase? And even worse, in front of everyone. Thankfully, they were all too drunk to notice, or we’d be knee-deep in shit. But getting caught is beside the point. If you want to prove yourself to her, taking her blood in that state isn’t the way to do it. That’s how you lose her trust.” She took one step closer to me, daring and bold. “Unless you’re trying to drive her away.”
I straightened, my jaw tight. “I don’t give a fuck what either of you think. You’re forgetting my true nature. I’m a vampire. Didn’t Andrei and his clan teach you anything while you were under their roof? I’ve been undead for two hundred years. This is what we are: hungry predators. You can fight that shit all you want. But you are just like us now.”
Lucy lunged at me, but Tony quickly raised his arm and pressed his palm against her chest, pushing her back. “You tell Rachel what Valentina shared with you, or we will,” he warned. “It’s taking a lot of fucking control for us to listen to your request and keep our mouths shut. Especially when you’re losing control and biting her in public.”
My gaze snapped to him, a growl rumbling low in my chest. “Careful, human. You tell her before I do, and I’ll snap your neck before you blink.”
“Try it, asshole,” Tony shot back. Brave … brave little human. “Rachel isn’t a damn toy. She’s been through more shit than anyone else here. Her life has been nothing but betrayals and fucking trauma. She deserves the truth … now.”
Lucy’s eyes narrowed, her voice a sharp whip. “You have until Athens. As Tony said, she’s been through enough, especially with being lied to. We went along with this because that fucking tool you call a brother is going to hurt her. But it has to stop. If you don’t tell her soon, we are going to.”
My fists clenched at my sides. “It’s not your decision.”
“I’ll make it my decision!” Lucy snapped. “She’s going to figure it out eventually, and the longer you drag your feet on this, the more she will hate you for keeping it from her. Fuck, she’ll hate us, her best friends, for knowing and not telling her the moment we found out … that is if your deranged ass is telling the truth.”
Their words hit me, but I’d be damned if I let them see how much it bothered me. Instead, I glared at them both, not backing down. “I’ll tell Rachel when it’s time,” I said finally, my voice low and stern. “But that time isn’t tonight.”
I went to walk away, but Tony grabbed my shoulder, catching me off-guard and shoving me against the brick wall. “Listen to me, you two-bit mosquito fuck,” he growled. “You watched Rachel for years, years , and you still don’t realize how vulnerable she is? How much she hurts all the damn time? Rachel grew up as a goddamn science experiment for a prejudiced magic cult. If I had known Andrei was working with those monsters, I would have never left her with him, and I will live with that regret for the rest of my life. Rachel has been lied to, manipulated, and used her entire life. By the Black Onyx, by Andrei, and by you .”
My body tensed at those words, but before I could open my mouth to respond, he kept going.
“I was her guardian for almost nine years. I tried to be as open and honest with her about everything as much as I could because I saw how secrets broke her heart. And those fucking witches forced me out, letting your brother weasel his way into becoming her guardian and adding another chain to that collar. So, I’m asking you, as one of her best friends, her brother , please don’t keep this fated mates stuff from her anymore. Tell her, so she can make her own goddamn decision on her life, her fate, for once.”
Unfamiliar guilt rendered me utterly silent.
Tony shook his head, muttering something under his breath before leaving me with Lucy. Her deadly stare bore into me, and I wanted to push it away.
“I’ve known Rachel for just as long,” she said. “I’ve seen her loneliness, even before learning she was a dhampir. That woman deserves better than the hell given to her. You’re going to break her if you keep this up.” Her voice was softer now but no less firm. “And if you do, I’ll make you wish you hadn’t.”
She turned and followed Tony back inside, leaving me alone in the alley with nothing but my guilt and the faint echo of Rachel’s laughter inside the club that my vampiric hearing picked up immediately.
Laughter? What the fuck is she doing?
I hurried inside and down the hall, spotting Rachel on the dance floor. Now she wasn’t alone. Behind her was some dickhead with medium-beige skin and a shaved head, his arm wrapping around her waist from behind … like I had. The guy leaned in and nipped her neck with his teeth while his right hand slid up to try to grab her breast. The fuck? I was about to use my vampiric speed to run toward him and snap his neck, but Rachel had already spun around, her elbow coming up and ramming it into the guy’s nose.
Oh, shit.
“Bitch!” the guy cursed, holding his bloody nose before he reached out to grab her. Before she could move, I rushed toward them, grabbed the offending wrist, and snapped it in two.
“You don’t get to put your hands on her body and still have them by the end of the night,” I growled. “No one touches her.”
The man’s wailing blended with the music and gasps from the dancers around us. When Rachel turned to look at me, her eyes were wide as saucers, and she gaped. Instead of thanking me, she slapped me so hard across the face that my head physically whipped to the side.
That one hurt. Fuck!
“I don’t need you protecting me,” she seethed. “I had him.”
The guy continued to cry like a little bitch beside us and attempted to throw another hand, but I reached out and caught it, twisting his last good wrist and threatening to break that one, too.
“I don’t care if you did,” I seethed through my teeth, barely able to control my temper now. “I’m well fucking aware of your strength. This asshole shouldn’t put his goddamn hands or filthy mouth on you.”
“That’s enough!” Rachel cried out. “I’m not yours, Jase. You don’t get to decide that.” I turned to look at her, and her bright blue eyes seemed to grab my sanity. “He’s just a human. Let it go.”
I shook my head, trying to ignore the fact that Rachel’s pull on me might destroy us both. Fighting it felt pointless now, but letting these feelings go wasn’t any easier. I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe from everything—even me. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t. Not when I felt this way. Not when every part of me was already hers … she just didn’t know it yet.
Instead of breaking the guy’s wrist like I wanted to, I slowly turned to him and bared my fangs, feeling the veins under my eyes turn dark.
The guy’s eyes widened when he realized what I was and nodded. “Va bene, me ne vado,” he said, turning to Rachel. “Mi dispiace.”
I swallowed, released his fist, and stepped back, giving her another look. Tony and Lucy were watching us from the bar, horrified and frantically waving for us to get the fuck out of there. “Time to leave.”
She nodded, her jaw set. I wasn’t sure what she saw in my eyes, but whatever it was, she understood not to press me any further. For all her vulnerability, she was stronger than I’d given her credit for because the Rachel I had seen over the last four years wouldn’t have caved so easily.
I took her hand and ran out of the club into the night.