4. Evelyn
4
Evelyn
S ilence filled the gym, broken only by my measured breaths. Seated on the mat, legs crossed, I shut my eyes, delving deep for that wellspring of power. It slipped through my grasp like a silvery fish wriggling away from wet fingers—a frustrating and futile pursuit.
Come on, come on.
I needed to access the Shadow Realm and somehow get Alister back. My heart ached at the thought of him trapped there, alone and possibly suffering. He’d sacrificed himself for me. I couldn’t leave him behind; I wouldn’t. The guilt chomped at me, threatening to consume what little focus I had left.
“Any luck?” Rafe’s gentle voice broke through my concentration, his presence unnoticed until then.
I opened my eyes with a frustrated sigh. “Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “It feels like the more I reach for it, the further it slips away.”
Rafe lowered himself onto the mat beside me, his eyes filled with concern. “Maybe we need to try a different approach.”
“I’m open to suggestions.”
Every second wasted was another second Alister spent in that place.
“Let’s try visualization,” Rafe offered after a moment’s thought. “Picture the branch of your lineage as a door in your mind. See every detail—the wood grain, the handle, the frame. Make it as real as possible.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to clear the clutter of my thoughts.
A door, I told myself.
It’s just a door. How hard can that be?
Slowly, an image began to form in my mind: a tall, dark, imposing wooden door with intricate carvings with eerie skulls etched into it, like something out of a medieval castle. The handle was a twisted piece of iron, worn smooth from centuries of use.
Really? Of all the doors my brain could conjure, this is the one? Why not a cheerful pink door with a unicorn etched into it? Maybe some glitter? Something that says, “Welcome traveler,” instead of “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
I took another breath to steady myself.
“Now, imagine placing your hand on the handle,” Rafe guided softly. “Feel the texture and the temperature. Take your time.”
In my mind, my hand reached out, fingers brushing against the cool metal. A shiver ran through me as I gripped it, half expecting it to burn or shock me with some kind of magical static.
“Turn the handle slowly,” Rafe continued, his voice almost hypnotic. “Hear the click, feel the resistance. Let the door swing open.”
With bated breath, I turned the handle and felt it yield with a click that reverberated in my mind like thunder. The door swung open, and a rush of cold air swirled around me, revealing chilling shadows dancing before me.
“Step through,” Rafe said, his tone urging but still gentle.
I took an imaginary step forward, and for a fleeting moment, I felt a flicker of something real—a tug, like I was being pulled through a veil. Then the largest motherfucking shadow I’ve ever seen reached out, yanking me back with a force that made my head spin.
A chill seeped into my bones as if I’d been plunged into icy water. I opened my eyes, heart pounding, and found myself back on the mat, disoriented.
“I did it, Rafe!” I said, breathless. “I reached the Shadow Realm. I felt it… Before a shadow kicked me out.”
Rafe’s face lit up. “That’s incredible, Evelyn. The Shadow Realm is a place the living aren’t meant to tread. It makes sense that it would resist you. But this is a start.”
“A start isn’t enough,” I muttered, my mind racing. “We don’t have time for baby steps.”
“Evelyn, you’re dealing with accessing another plane. That in itself is incredibly difficult, and you’ve already come so far in just a few hours.” Rafe took my hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. “Trust me, you’re getting there. We’ll get Alister back.”
* * *
By Sunday morning, I was a complete wreck. I hadn’t slept, and the toll was evident. Dark circles ringed my eyes, giving me a haunted look, and my hands wouldn’t stop their constant, nervous shaking.
I paced the gym floor, my mind racing with worries about Alister, while I glanced at my angel mate, who stood by the doorway with crossed arms.
“Evelyn, you need to rest. You’re going to collapse at this rate.”
I spun to face Rafe. “No, I’m not resting until we get Alister. I see him every moment I close my eyes, and it’s killing me. I can’t just lie down and do nothing.”
Rafe sighed, running a hand through his beautiful hair. “I have an idea.”
“What else can we do?” I snapped. “We’ve tried everything! Nothing is working!” My voice echoed off the gym walls, sounding desperate even to my own ears.
Padding to me, he held out his hands in a calming gesture. “Let’s connect our energies. Maybe that’ll help you not get kicked out of the Shadow Realm. It’s worth a shot.”
Each failure had chipped away at my hope and increased my desperation.
“Fine,” I said, relenting. “What do I have to lose?”
We moved to the center of the gym and held hands as he gently smiled at me. A tingle of warmth spread up my arms, soothing my frayed nerves. Lashing out at my beautiful angel was wrong.
“I’m sorry, Rafe. I didn’t want to yell at you.”
“I know. You’re tired and feeling powerless.”
I nodded.
“Even if we can’t do it this weekend or the next… we’ll keep trying. The guys and I don’t want to give up on Alister either.”
His words reassured me, but doubt still lingered. “Do you blame me?”
“For what?”
“For leaving you alone all this time. For being broken when I came back. For spending my time trying to bring Alister back.”
Rafe held my gaze. “If it were me instead of Alister who’d been left behind, would you come and get me?”
I moved closer. “Of course! I only came back without him because you were still here. You, Chad, Ryker—even Lucien. I couldn’t leave you while Eris plots an Armageddon or whatever she has in mind.”
Rafe let out a quiet breath, his expression softening. He reached up and brushed his fingers over a loose strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear. His touch was gentle, lingering just long enough to steady me.
A slow warmth spread through me. I leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. When I pulled back, he swallowed, eyes searching mine for a moment before he smiled.
“I’m feeling better. Let’s do this,” I said, my voice lighter now.
Rafe exhaled and nodded before closing his eyes. I followed suit, taking a deep breath.
“Imagine the door again,” Rafe’s voice guided me. “See every detail like before. I’ll anchor my energy this time, merging it with yours.”
I opened my eyes for a moment. “You can do that?”
Rafe nodded. “Yes. It’s easier because I’m your guardian angel—and it will be even easier once we’re mated.”
I was lucky to have a mate as patient and supportive as he was.
“Do you need to rest, Eve, before we proceed?”
I smiled and shook my head. “I’m just grateful to have you, Rafe.”
His thumb brushed over my hand. “Let’s concentrate, okay?”
I closed my eyes again, imagining the door and feeling Rafe’s energy envelop me. After a few moments, it appeared in my mind—its dark wood and eerie skulls were as vivid as ever. Rafe’s presence steadied me, his energy merging with mine.
“Place your hand on the handle,” Rafe instructed. “Take your time.”
My hand reached out in my mind, the handle cool to the touch.
“Turn it slowly and let the door open.”
The handle turned, and the door swung open. A rush of cold air and swirling darkness greeted me. I took an imaginary step forward.
“Step through,” Rafe said, his voice distant but clear.
I pulled Rafe with me as we crossed the threshold. The ghostly landscape of the Shadow Realm surrounded us. Wisps of darkness floated like fog, and a bone-chilling cold seeped into my skin. Rafe’s hand in mine was the only warmth.
The towering motherfucker from before loomed ahead, its form shifting like smoke.
Its eyes, like shadows, fixed on us, and it hesitated momentarily as if recognizing something. Hope flared in my chest; maybe it would let us pass this time.
Without warning, the shadow swung its sword with terrifying speed. I screamed as the blade arced towards us, a gust of freezing wind preceding it.
The world spun, and a violent force yanked us back.
The gym snapped into focus, and we tumbled onto the mat, disoriented and breathless. My heart raced, and I clung to Rafe, who looked as shaken as I felt.
“That was the sentinel of the Shadow Realm,” Rafe said, his eyes wide. “It’s guarding the entrance.”
I sat up slowly, the enormity of what we’d just faced sinking in. “We’re not just dealing with shadows? They have protectors? This is going to be even harder than we thought.”
Rafe nodded, his expression grim. “But now we know what we’re up against. This isn’t the end, Evelyn. We’ll get Alister back. Trust me. None of us are giving up on him.”
I closed my eyes, tears threatening to spill over. “I hope you’re right.”
“It’s not about hope,” Rafe said softly but with conviction. “It’s about action. We’ll keep trying.”
So we did.
Again and again.
Each time, the large shadow kicked us out.
After what felt like hours, I collapsed onto a workout mat.
That’s when the others showed up.
Chad bounded over, his usual energy clashing with my drained state. “How’s it going, shadow girl?”
I looked at him, utterly spent. “How do you think?”
Lucien frowned, his gaze sweeping over me. “You look terrible.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered.
“I meant,” he said, his sharp gaze softening, “you’re overexerting yourself.”
Ryker, silent as always, leaned against the wall, arms crossed. His intense gaze never left me, and despite his usual stoicism, the tight line of his mouth gave him away.
I pushed myself up on unsteady arms, my body protesting every movement. A wave of dizziness hit me, and I swayed.
Ryker was there instantly—moving before I even registered—his strong arms wrapping around me. The warmth of his embrace made me feel safe like I wasn’t an utter failure.
Rafe explained our lack of progress, and the room fell quiet as its weight settled over us.
“Maybe you need a break,” Rafe suggested after a moment. “Clear your head, reset. Sometimes pushing too hard just makes it worse.”
Lucien nodded in agreement. “Logical. Your stress is likely interfering with your abilities. A day at school tomorrow will be a good distraction.”
I stared at them in disbelief. “Not this again! I can’t waste time on school when Alister’s trapped!”
“Sometimes,” Ryker rumbled, “stepping back helps you see the path forward.”
I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it.
When did Ryker get all philosophical?
Rafe walked towards me and rested his hand lightly on my shoulder. “You’re no good to Alister if you collapse from exhaustion. Take tomorrow to recharge. Trust us to help you through this. I may have another idea, but I’ll need a few days to see if it’s a viable one.”
Chad grinned. “Besides, I bet your friends are dying to see you. You deserve a little normalcy. It’s not betraying Alister to take care of yourself.”
I sighed, the fight draining from me. They were right. I was exhausted, my mind foggy from lack of sleep and constant worry. “Okay. It will be nice to see my friends.”
The guys nodded, their agreement reassuringly.
* * *
Later that night, I padded down the dimly lit hallway to Ryker’s room. The door creaked softly as I pushed it open. Inside, the room was steeped in shadows, save for a sliver of moonlight filtering through a curtain that hadn’t been drawn properly.
“Ryker?” I whispered.
A grunt answered me from the darkness.
My eyes adjusted slowly, picking out shapes. Black walls. Heavy curtains. An enormous bed.
“Can I…can I stay here tonight?” I asked.
Ryker’s deep voice rumbled, “Of course.”
I crossed the room carefully. When my knees brushed the edge of the bed, strong hands gripped my waist, lifting me effortlessly. I found myself sprawled across Ryker’s massive chest, his arms wrapping around me.
“Thanks,” I mumbled into his skin. “I just…I needed you.”
Ryker’s chest vibrated with a low, contented growl. His arms tightened around me, his warmth seeping into my bones. I breathed in his scent.
Safe. Familiar. Home.
As my eyelids grew heavy, I murmured, “How are you doing? With the gang and everything?”
Ryker was silent for a long moment. “Fine.”
I forced my eyes open, propping myself up on one elbow. “Really? Because it can’t be easy.”
His gaze drifted toward the window, where the faint glow of moonlight cut through the darkness. His fingers idly traced slow circles against my back, but I could feel the tension in his muscles, the weight pressing on him.
Finally, he confessed, “It’s hard. Seeing guys I’ve known my whole life turn dark—well, you know, darker and aligned with my father.”
I ran my fingers back and forth along his arm. “You’re doing your best. You can’t blame yourself for other people’s choices. You just have to focus on the ones who still know right from wrong…or at least, less wrong.”
“I guess.” He remained silent for a moment. “I can’t lose you again. Or Chad, or anyone in our family.”
The vulnerability in his voice reminded me he had spent one year without me, while I was freaking out for being a few days without Alister. I could only imagine how broken and lonely he had been while I was gone.
Ryker was my fierce dragon protector, the guy who could stare down a room full of angry shifters without breaking a sweat. But he had lived months without his mate, without me. Of course, he’d be hurting.
I cupped his face in my hands, forcing him to meet my gaze. “I’m here now. We’re not losing anyone, got it?”
A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. “Promise?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die,” I said, drawing an X over my chest. “Though, let’s drop the dying part.”
His chuckle vibrated through me, and I felt some of the tension leave his body. As I settled back against his chest, I marveled at this softer side of Ryker. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that beneath all that muscle and dragon fire beat a very beautiful heart.
“Alister went all out with the goth decor, huh?” I joked weakly.
Another rumble, this one almost a chuckle. “Sleep,” Ryker commanded softly.
I closed my eyes, listening to the steady thump of his heart. As I drifted off, one stray thought floated through my mind: How had I gone from a shy, introverted bookworm to snuggling with a dragon shifter?
Life was weird.