Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Senara
As we approached the Temple of Shadows, a chill seeped into my bones. Thorn moved cautiously beside me, his eyes scanning the shifting structure. He had been restless all night, as though he was fighting in his dreams as well as in reality, and I made a mental note to talk to him about it later, once we had the pendant.
Now was not the time for distractions though, especially since the walls themselves seemed to pulse and breathe, an eerie reflection of our apprehensions.
Volker stepped forward first, his gaze intent on the flickering darkness. "This place feels alive," he said. "We must tread carefully."
As we ventured deeper, shapes twisted in the gloom, familiar yet distorted. My heart raced as a shadow guardian emerged, taking form from the very darkness that surrounded us. It mirrored me with unnerving accuracy; every curve and line of my figure warped into something grotesque.
"Senara," it hissed, my voice laced with malice. "You think you can escape your destiny?"
I clenched my fists, drawing on the power within me. "You're not me!" I shouted defiantly.
Wyn gasped as her own shadow manifested beside me, a version with hollow eyes and a wicked grin. "Embrace your fears," it taunted, its voice dripping with disdain.
"Get away from her!" Thorn charged at the shadow, which turned into mist as he slashed at it. He stumbled back as it rematerialized right in front of him. Except this time, instead of appearing as my best friend, it had morphed into a creature of claws and fangs.
Volker rushed to his side, brandishing a dagger forged from light which caused the creature to back up, merging into the shadows that ringed the room once more. "We need to break their hold!"
The shadows shifted again; more guardians swirled around us, each one echoing our insecurities and doubts. A darker version of Thorn stepped forth, clad in jagged armor that glimmered with cruelty.
"Do you truly believe you can protect her?" it sneered. "Your failures will consume you both. If you must be with her, then control her, make her obey you and, in turn, the Void Dragon Empress."
Thorn's jaw tightened as he faced his own dark reflection. "I won't let you dictate who I am! She is her own person, not mine to control."
Together, we stood against our shadows, united by the strength forged in our trials. I summoned my magic, the Crescent Diadem glowed at my brow as light clashed against darkness.
"Focus!" I called out to them as they battled their inner demons. "Thorn and I went through something like this before in Moonweaver's Grove. Sometimes you don't have to fight, you have to embrace what they are trying to tell you."
"Foolish girl. I will wipe your sorry existence from this world and replace you becoming the perfect vessel and I'll make your friends watch. You can try to embrace me all you want, but all you'll find are the tips of my blades."
The moon blades shimmered to life in her hands, and a surge of jealousy ran through me. Why could she summon them and I couldn't? I knew they weren't the real ones, but it was poking at an open wound within my soul.
With no further warning, all the dark versions of ourselves attacked. Each spell cast and every strike made against these twisted reflections seemed to damage them, and I felt a flicker of hope igniting within me. But doubt still lingered like an unwelcome guest at the edge of my mind, what if we couldn't overcome this? What if these manifestations held truths we weren't ready to face?
The shadows writhed around us, shifting and morphing into familiar shapes that chilled my heart. Wyn's dark version emerged once more, its voice a sinister whisper that cut through the air like a blade.
"Wyn," it taunted, its eyes glinting with malice. "You know the truth deep down. That magic of yours? It's already poisoning you. Just give in to it. Embrace what you truly are, a dark mage."
Wyn trembled, her hands shaking as she faced her shadow self. "No! I won't listen to you!" Her voice wavered, but she stood firm.
The dark Wyn grinned, a smile that twisted her features into something unrecognizable. "You think you're strong enough to resist? You're only delaying the inevitable. The corruption is part of you now, just like your fear of losing control."
As Wyn launched an attack against her dark self, Volker's shadow stepped forward, radiating a cold intensity that froze my breath in my throat. "You see?" it said, its tone dripping with disdain. "She will never love you the way you want her to. She sees you as nothing more than a means to an end. She's a dark mage!"
"Shut up!" Volker shouted back, his fists clenched at his sides. "That's not true! She cares about me, just as I do about her. Love doesn't matter."
The dark Volker laughed harshly, its voice echoing around us like thunder in a storm. "Of course, love and caring don't matter, not when all you see is power! You think you can overcome this? You're just a fleeting thought in her mind, a mere distraction from her greater purpose."
I watched Volker's expression falter, hurt flashing across his face before determination replaced it again. But doubt lingered like smoke in the air.
Then Van's shadow loomed large and ominous behind him, a specter of despair that seemed almost tangible in its malevolence. "Do you think you can escape this fate?" it mocked, circling him slowly as if savoring every moment of his torment. "You'll never die; trapped here forever while the gods mock your existence from afar."
Van clenched his jaw tight enough that I could see the muscles strain beneath his skin. He shot back defiantly, though uncertainty seeped through his bravado. "No! The gods promised me freedom."
"They lied!" the shadow spat, interrupting him with contemptuous laughter. "They always lie! That's what gods do! You'll be nothing more than this cursed shell until the end of time."
As their voices swirled around us like storm winds threatening to tear apart our resolve, I felt the weight of their words press down on me too, taunting me with fears I had tried so hard to suppress.
"Give in, Senara. Thorn doesn't really want you and this bond that you forced on him. He wants his freedom. You are a bolder chained to his neck, dragging him under until he will suffocate, because you were too selfish to let him go when you had the chance." My dark self pointed a blade tip to my throat. I hadn't even seen her move and could barely dodge the swipe of the blade itself.
The shadows surged around us, their taunts slicing through the air like knives. I could see Wyn struggling against her dark self, each spell she cast flickering as if it took every ounce of her soul and left her drained in return. I felt my heart pound in rhythm with her exhaustion; we were running out of time.
"Wyn!" I shouted, trying to break through the haze of despair that enveloped her. "You're stronger than this! You can't let it win!"
But the shadow twisted and laughed, a sinister sound that echoed off the temple walls. "Look at her! She's crumbling under the weight of her own fears. Just give up, Wyn. Let go."
"No!" Wyn's voice quivered, but doubt seeped into her tone. Her hands trembled as she faced her shadow self.
I had to do something. I remembered those days in our childhood when Wyn had been bullied, how she had been abused, how I had stepped in, my fists clenched and my heart racing, ready to defend her no matter what. This was no different; I couldn't stand by while darkness threatened to consume my friend.
With a surge of determination, I pushed past Thorn and Volker, charging toward Wyn's dark reflection. "Get away from her!" I shouted.
The shadow turned its gaze toward me, sneering. "You think you can save her? She'll never be free while you're around!"
Ignoring its words, I drew on the magic pulsing within me, the power of both moon and sun intertwined in harmony, and aimed it straight at the darkness before me. A barrier formed between Wyn and her shadow self. The darkness recoiled for just a moment.
Taking advantage of that hesitation, I launched myself forward, gathering every ounce of strength within me for one decisive blow.
"Leave her alone!"
I struck hard with a force fueled by all the times I'd defended Wyn in our youth, every harsh word spoken against her by others became energy coursing through me now. My fist connected with the shadow's core, sending ripples of light erupting from where I struck.
The dark figure screamed, a sound that clawed at my ears before dissipating into mist as it shattered under my blow.
Wyn gasped behind me as the remnants swirled away like smoke caught in a breeze. The oppressive weight lifted slightly from the room.
"You did it," she breathed, relief washing over her face like dawn breaking after a long night.
But we weren't safe yet; there were still more shadows lurking in the depths waiting for their chance to strike again.
I turned to see Thorn facing his dark reflection, a twisted version of himself with one eye that burned like a blazing fire and the other seeming to suck that same light directly into itself. The image before me was more than a little disconcerting. My heart raced as I watched the two square off, shadows swirling around them like a storm.
"Thorn, you've got this!" I called out, trying to push my own fears aside.
"Just stay back!" he shouted, his voice taut with strain. The dark Thorn lunged forward, and with a fluid motion, Thorn dodged the attack. He countered with a powerful swing of his sword, but the shadow parried effortlessly, smirking as if he enjoyed the challenge.
"You think you're strong enough?" the shadow sneered. "You're just a soldier in someone else's war. Not even a commander, general, or lieutenant. You? You. Are. Nothing. Nothing but a fleshy shield that Senara can use to keep herself safe."
Thorn's jaw clenched. "No! Senara is my soul bonded and we will never abandon one another." With renewed fury, he charged again. This time, he focused on not just strength but precision, he anticipated the shadow's movements and ducked under its strike. In one fluid motion, he drove his blade through the creature's core.
The shadow shrieked and dissolved into wisps of darkness, leaving only the faintest echo of its laughter behind. Thorn turned to me, eyes fierce yet vulnerable. "I'm okay," Thorn grunted at me when he caught my concerned look.
I nodded and shifted my gaze to Wyn as she faced her dark self once more. The twisted version sneered at her, lashing out with words meant to cut deeper than any blade.
"You're nothing without your friends," it taunted. "You'll always be second-best!"
"No!" Wyn shouted back fiercely. She focused her energy and sent a surge of magic toward her shadow self, light clashed against the dark in a dazzling display that made me have to shield my eyes or risk being blinded.
"Keep pushing!" I urged her.
Wyn drew on everything she had learned, channeling her fears into strength instead of letting them weigh her down. The light surrounding her brightened until it consumed the shadow entirely in an explosion of brilliance that left nothing but silence in its wake.
I cheered for her as she staggered back from the blast but didn't have time to catch my breath; Volker faced his shadow now, a creature formed from every moment of doubt he had ever harbored about himself.
"I'm not afraid," Volker declared with determination.
The dark Volker scoffed, charging forward with a brutality etched on his face that I could never have imagined the quiet mage making until I saw it for myself. Our Volker stood firm, though, meeting his foe head-on with all the confidence I knew he possessed deep down inside him.
He thrust his dagger through its heart, darkness erupted around him as the shadow shattered into fragments like glass hitting stone.
"Senara! Behind you!" Van shouted beside me.
I'd become so focused on the others after helping Wyn that I'd totally forgotten about my shadow, and the sneaky bitch had been waiting for that exact moment to attack. When I spun to face, the remaining shadows swirled threateningly around us, obscuring her slightly.
Thankfully, I didn't miss my dark self lunging at me, eyes glinting with malice. The chill of its presence wrapped around me like a suffocating shroud.
"Look at you," it hissed, its voice a twisted mockery of my own. "You're just a shadow of what you could be, a mere flicker of light in a world drowning in darkness."
"Shut up!" I shouted, summoning the magic from deep within me. I focused on the Crescent Diadem, feeling its energy pulse against my brow. It resonated with both moon and sun, ready to protect me.
The shadow laughed, a sound that echoed through the chamber. "You think that little crown makes you powerful? You're nothing but a frightened child playing dress-up! I bet you put that on your head before you even bothered finding out anything about it. Are you even aware that you've cursed yourself? I bet your so-called friends are only here out of pity, since they probably understood how doomed you were as soon as that thing touched your head."
Before I could respond, it lunged again, swiping with claw-like hands that tore through the air just inches from my face. I ducked and rolled to the side as dark tendrils surged toward me from the surrounding shadows, trying to ensnare my legs.
"Senara!" Thorn's voice broke through my focus as he charged at the shadows encroaching around us. "We need to push back together!"
"Don't let them distract you!" Wyn cried out, weaving her magic to shield us while battling her own shadow self nearby.
I could feel Thorn's determination through our bond, and it fueled my resolve; his strength lent clarity to my swirling doubts. Despite that, the dark version of myself danced on the edge of my consciousness, taunting me relentlessly.
"You'll never be enough!" It barked the words at me. "You think they'll stand by you when they see who you really are? You're just a burden. Do you think they know how much of a murderer you are? It wasn't just in war and battle, was it, Senara?" It circled me slowly, its form shifting as if it thrived on my fears, pulling and digging at old wounds I thought I'd healed.
"No!" I shouted defiantly. "I'm more than what I was! I'm worthy!" Even to my own ears, the last sentence sounded like a desperate plea, but with each word I spoke, a flicker of light pushed against the darkness that was threatening to consume me. My heart raced as I felt Wyn channel her energy toward me, her faith in me lifting me even higher. If anyone knew who I was, it was her. She'd seen me through the worst of it, or at least the worst that wasn't on a battlefield.
The dark version smirked. "You can't escape this truth! You were born to be an instrument of destruction, not hope. It starts with small things, thieving, maybe killing animals, and then it escalates. A boy looks at you wrong. Maybe he touches too close to your mark, so he has to go. And what of the Chantry?"
"Shut up!" I screamed, not even realizing that I'd started crying until I couldn't make out her form.
I blinked furiously, clearing my vision just in time to see it lunge again. Shadows surged forward to block Thorn and Wyn from reaching me. Desperation gripped my chest; fear coiled tightly around my heart. I couldn't defeat her on my own. I wasn't enough. Not unless I gave it everything I had and then where would that leave me? Alone.
I'd seen the look on Thorn and Kaelyn's faces after that first time my magic went out of control and they were horrified, as they should have been. After all, I'd disintegrated everything around us, anything I'd deemed an enemy. No one should have that kind of power. And if this was only a shadow of what I would become if I allowed the Empress to use me as a vessel, then what chance did I have against the powered up version of me?
"No!" I roared as I shook my head, recognizing the thoughts as belonging to someone else. I pushed back against the darkness closing in around me, reaching for something deep within, the essence that had always been mine yet had been buried beneath layers of doubt. If they were horrified with me, then so be it, but I damn sure wouldn't let everyone die just because I'd held back out of fear.
With every ounce of strength I had left, I would not let this shadow define who I was meant to be.
The surrounding darkness thickened, swirling with a malevolent energy that wrapped tightly around my chest. My shadow lunged forward again, and I could feel the rage emanating from it like a living thing.
"You'll never have what you want," it hissed, its voice dripping with venomous glee. "Dream on, Senara! You're destined to be alone, forever! No one will ever love you enough to stay. And if they don't leave of their own free will, then you'll drive them away, won't you? Be it by word or blade."
A sharp pain shot through me at its words. It cut deeper than any blade, carving into the very core of my being. The weight of that truth threatened to drag me down into despair. She hadn't even said it aloud, but I knew what she was talking about. There was a reason I'd never let myself dream of a family; it felt too far out of reach, a cruel mirage that only mocked my deepest, most secret desires.
But as I stood there trembling in the face of my darkness, something inside me ignited, a flicker of defiance sparked to life. No more! I refused to let this twisted reflection dictate my worth or future.
"Shut up!" I screamed, channeling all my anger and sorrow into one decisive strike. Drawing on the magic coursing through me, the harmony of moon and sun, I summoned an energy unlike anything I had felt before.
The air crackled with power as I thrust my hand forward, and radiant light erupted from my palm, enveloping the shadow in an incandescent glow. It shrieked in fury and disbelief as the light consumed it, its form dissolving under the intensity of my resolve.
"You don't get to decide who I am! I'm worth more than what I can leave behind. I am worthy just by being me!" I shouted fiercely as I pushed harder against the encroaching darkness.
In that moment, everything coalesced, the shadows, the whispers of doubt, all converged into one brilliant flash that tore through the oppressive gloom surrounding me. With a last surge of energy, I unleashed all my magic in one concentrated blast aimed directly at the heart of my shadow self.
The creature howled in agony as it disintegrated into wisps of darkness that faded into nothingness. A deafening silence enveloped me in its wake, a quiet that felt both liberating and terrifying.
As its presence vanished completely, so too did the suffocating weight pressing down on my heart. But even amidst this victory, a gnawing ache lingered deep within me, an echo of what could have been but would never be.