Fearless (The Willowdale Village Collection #2)

5. Lena Graves

CHAPTER 5

LENA GRAVES

“ B unny,” Macon’s rough voice against my ear instantly had my body lighting up, my toes curling as need pulsed through me. This dream felt particularly real, and I savored the way his hands tightened against me as I stretched, arching my ass back into him as he spooned me.

A whimper slipped from my throat at how hard he was, and my magic flashed over my skin as I grew hot and flushed. I wouldn’t get a chance to fix my mating heat in real life, but maybe…just maybe I could in my dreams.

“Lena.” Macon’s voice was far more serious this time, one hand sliding up from my waist and between my breasts to wrap around my throat. The feeling of his natural dominance had me trembling as I tried to push further back against him, my night shirt riding up to reveal my lace panties, no doubt.

I didn’t want to open up my eyes to check, to have this dream end?—

Macon’s nip to my neck, hard and demanding, had my eyes snapping open as a moan left my lips. Instantly, I knew I was not in a dream, but it was far too late to stop my body’s response.

“There we go,” he growled against my ear while rolling us so that I was pinned under him, my legs falling to either side of his large frame. My center was already soaked, my hips moving against him as one of his hands strung through my hair and the other caught my jaw, demanding a kiss from me.

The needy, possessive touch had my nipples tightening painfully, and the darkness of the room let me pretend we were still in a dream. Something about the way he touched me made me come undone so easily, my defenses completely ripped away.

He didn’t give me a chance to overthink or to question myself, instead surrounding me with the promise of pleasure so that I forgot my concerns. It was so incredibly dangerous because I savored the level of control he had over me. A preference of mine I hadn’t even realized existed until I met all of these men.

“Macon,” I whimpered as he moved down my throat, his hands pushing my shirt up above my breasts. I hissed as his mouth teased my nipple and then moved to the other, my clit pulsing.

“Need to taste you,” he murmured against my skin as the snap of my panties sounded, the material falling away. “Need to know that you’ll forgive me—forgive us.”

His words were enough to have reality filter back in as I remembered what had happened last night—how our plans had fallen through. Hurt radiated through my chest, but before I could say a word his arm locked down on my hips, heavy and impossible to move under, as his mouth suctioned to my clit.

My eyes rolled back at the sensation, my back arching as he let out a primal groan at my taste. Every rational thought slipped from my head. My hands strung through his hair, tightening, but not willing to try to get away from him as he devoured my center.

“That’s right, bunny, I can feel how much you need me,” He purred, stiffening his tongue and sliding it inside of me. Holy hell. My vision blurred, and the rush of need that had been building inside of me, demanding my attention, rushed over me.

And like a light switch, my mating heat slammed into me full force. Without warning. Without even giving me much of a choice. This was something uncontrollable, an intensity I’d never experienced before.

His hand came over my mouth as I cried out his name, climaxing as he continued to lick up every drop of me, pure satisfaction saturating every single nerve ending of my body. My vision went spotty and my frame melted into the bed like a puddle as a muffled whimper left me from behind his hand. When he suddenly appeared above me and removed his hand so he could kiss me hard, my taste mingled between us.

Macon wasn’t done, though. As he pulled back from the kiss, my gaze darted down to his hardened cock in his hand. I couldn’t help but stare at the erotic sight as he began to pump his length, angled right at my pussy.

My legs spread wider on their own as his other hand rolled my clit with his thumb, causing me to squirm under his touch. I was absolutely going to come again, and I yearned for him to slide into me, to fill me up in the way that I knew he could.

“Going to come right on this pussy and push it in there where it belongs,” he hissed, precum leaking from his cock. My eyes widened at his dirty words, shocked by the need that rocked through me. But he couldn’t— especially not know . He didn’t know my mating heat was starting, that I could get pregnant. That it was likely I would, even if we weren’t fully having sex. I couldn’t let him do that without knowing.

“Macon, you can’t—” I tried to sit up, wanting to warn him. In a move so fast it nearly forced the air out of my lungs, he pinned me to the bed, his hands trapping mine above me as he slammed his lips against me.

I felt his cock push between my thighs and press into my hole, just enough that when he came in that moment—his seed releasing within me—it caused me to tighten around him, my clit pulsing. When he deepened our kiss and pressed just slightly further in, I shuddered around him.

I hissed at the sensation of him stretching me with the width of just his head. He held himself there, his breathing rough as a tiny orgasm rolled over me. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. It felt so amazing, so incredibly perfect.

It also felt all wrong since I hadn’t been able to warn him better. Guilt flooded my chest.

My eyes opened to find his crimson gaze on my lips before his eyes moved up to meet mine. My voice was quiet as I broke the moment with a reality that I wished I could ignore. “You came inside of me, Macon.”

“I did,” he rumbled, a flash of victory lighting up his gaze.

“When…” I could barely get the words out, wondering if he would be furious. “When you made me come the first time, it started my mating heat. You shouldn’t have come inside of me.” My heart beat rapidly as his eyes narrowed on my expression. I should have tried harder to tell him. Dread rolled over me as I felt a surge of even heavier guilt.

“And why not?” Macon demanded, leaning down so we were nearly nose to nose. “You don’t think I knew that, bunny? You didn’t think I could smell how much you needed me? I just helped push all of this along.”

I felt my eyes widen in actual surprise. “What? What are you talking about? You did it on purpose? I don’t think you realize?—”

“That I could have just knocked you up?” His eyes flashed with a dangerous light. “Oh I realize it, Lena. I fucking realize it.” My breathing went faster as I tapped his chest, needing to sit up. Needing some damn space. It felt like he wasn’t taking this seriously enough.

His lips pressed to mine again, pulling me from my thoughts, his cock sliding against my still wet pussy. “I should slide into you right now. I should take you completely.”

“No,” I whimpered, immediately shaking my head. “This isn’t something to joke about. This is serious—really serious. I could get pregnant so easily! I should have warned you before?—”

Macon chuckled against my neck, and the sound both scared me and had me shivering with need. His lips brushed against mine. “I know how damn serious it is, but do you? Do you realize how serious I am? How serious we are?”

We. I loved that word, but I didn’t dare to hope that was the case. After all, last night could have been about them demanding that I choose. It was a thought that had crossed my mind.

“I don’t, clearly,” I said, my chest tightening. “Especially because last night?—”

“If it hadn’t been an emergency, we wouldn’t have ever cancelled our plans,” he said. My eyes began to water. It was too much, too overwhelming.The hurt that a mere cancelled date had caused and what that meant about my feelings for these men. My yearning for them. The fear that they’d make me choose. The fear that Macon would be angry with me if I got pregnant. The hope that what he was saying—that he wanted this—was true. I closed my eyes as Macon continued. “But I also know it hurt you, which is why I’m not giving you a chance to ignore us. You’re going to forgive us, and we’re going to have dinner tonight, understand? I’m not letting you run away like the other day.”

I could see hurt in his gaze, and I found myself confused on how to handle this. My emotions were raw in these early hours at dawn, and I let out a shaky breath. “I…I need a minute. Probably more,” I whispered, slowly sitting up. I let my shirt fall as he adjusted his own clothes—wearing only sweatpants and a partly opened zip-up jacket, showing off his muscular chest. “My brother is in the other room. I can’t do this right now.”

My body shivered in the morning chill of the apartment. My mating heat was roaring inside of me, and despite being temporarily satisfied, I knew it wouldn’t last. And then what? Did I call him to help me? What about how I felt about the others? It wasn’t fair to bring them into such a high stakes situation when they might not even know how they feel about me.

Macon’s gaze narrowed as he evaluated my words and seemingly found them lacking. “Tell me you forgive us for last night,” he demanded softly.

“I can’t be mad at you; it was necessary,” I said before admitting, “Just was disappointed.”

“I need the words.” He tugged my chin forward and kissed me. “Now.”

“I forgive you,” I murmured as he kissed me again and stood.

“You have a few hours. Liam, Ari, and Connery are finishing up with the call, and then we’ll be back. We are having a conversation.”

Then he was gone. My mouth popped open as I watched him open up my bedroom window and jump down. I rushed to the window and stuck my head out just in time to see him land easily on the pavement and jog toward his patrol car. The morning light broke against his red-tipped hair and I shivered, remembering how it had looked with my hands strung through it while he devoured me.

This was bad. So, so bad.

Pulling myself back inside, I locked my window and crossed the room to my bedroom door, locking that as well. Letting out a long breath, I walked into the jack-and-jill bathroom before turning on the shower. I felt like I was in a haze as I began to wash my body to wake myself up fully, hating that I was removing Macon’s scent. But it was necessary if I was going to focus. Absolutely necessary.

Someone needed to start being blunt about what was going on. I barely knew how Liam felt despite him wanting to get dinner. Did his wolf view me as a mate? Did Ari’s? Or was I friend zoned? If they all wanted to get dinner to talk about us, did that mean yes? The Demir brothers were a bit easier to understand, but I also didn’t trust that they were serious. I mean, Macon had just come inside of me. He hadn’t seemed bothered in the least about the possibility of knocking me up! We weren’t even dating! What did I do with that?

Anxiety and panic welled in my chest as I sat down on the floor of the shower and let water run over me. What if he had only been speaking for himself? This was why I had avoided these types of heavy emotions for so damn long. It was overwhelming, and the four of them had become daily staples in my life. I was terrified to lose that, to lose someone else…I couldn’t. I just couldn’t handle that.

I had hours before I had to deal with them, though. That gave me the strength to pick myself up off the floor, step out of the shower, and dry off. I knew what I needed to do, at least until my head was clear.

Grabbing my phone, I sat on my bed and sent a message.

Me: I need space. At least for this upcoming week. My brothers just found their mate and she’s staying at my apartment. I need to focus on my family right now. Maybe we can reschedule dinner after that.

Was that clear enough? I hoped so. The minute I sent the message and put the phone down, Liam’s name lit up my caller ID. Looking outside, I could see his car positioned in its usual spot. Great .

I had a feeling they were going to make themselves difficult to avoid…but that somehow didn’t bother me as much as it probably should. When he stepped out of his car and I opened my window to talk to him, I could see the blatant confusion on his face.

“Is this about what happened with Connery and Macon in the clearing?” he demanded. I didn’t even question how he knew; it was obvious they were very good at communicating with one another. No secrets in this group.

Should I be following the same policy then?

“It’s about a lot of things, Liam. I just really need some space.” And to not be having a conversation about it where anyone could freakin’ hear. “Please.”

Liam’s jaw tightened as he leaned back against his patrol car. “I won’t keep playing this game with you, Lena. You have one day until we talk.”

What game? I hadn’t even realized we were playing a game. Alright, that wasn’t completely true. I pretty much made a game out of teasing Liam, but he’d always acted unaffected. Or so I’d assumed.

Also, one day was not enough time.

“I’m not agreeing to that,” I said in a failed attempt at being firm, closing the window and breaking away from his magnetic gaze. Getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a soft sweater, I braided my wet hair. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something—just in case anyone else stopped by. Which was likely to happen given that the others had already called and texted me.

Somehow I could feel that I was hurting them, but it felt unfair. I had relationships with four people that I had to figure out while they only had one. Why couldn’t everyone be more clear? Or was I just not giving them the chance to?

Moving out of my bedroom and going to lock the front door, I pulled out everything I needed to make muffins. That would make me feel better. Probably. Hopefully. Until my mating heat was over, I would just focus on my business and family.

It wouldn’t be easy, but it would potentially save me a lot of heartbreak in the long run.