Chapter 74 Paedyn
CHAPTER 74 Paedyn
I dream of Adena on the eve of my wedding.
Kai has slept at my side every night since slipping that ring onto my thumb, warding off a month’s worth of nightmares. But tradition chases him from my chambers on the eve of our union, and I am left to my hauntings alone.
When Adena takes my hand, I feel the faintest tug of fear in my drifting body. I had hidden from this nightmare, shielded myself behind Kai’s comfort, because I couldn’t bear to watch Adena die all over again.
But that is not this dream.
What lurks within my resting mind is something sweet. Soft. So like the Adena who once lived and breathed that I awake with tears staining my cheeks. It is all a hazy memory when the sun pries my heavy eyelids open, but I remember the feeling Adena left me with:
Peace.
I had said goodbye.
Or rather, a good way to say bye until I see my A next.
Ellie alone helps me prepare for my final, inevitable wedding.
Dark clouds crowd the sky beyond my windows, threatening rain with an angry rumble. This only makes me smile.
“It’s good to see you happy on your wedding day,” Ellie says softly. Her fingers thread through my hair to weave thin braids within it. They hang down among my wavy hair, elegant in its simplicity.
I gnaw on my lip to busy my smile. “This is what I’ve wanted for longer than I even realized. And I’m letting myself enjoy it.”
“You should enjoy it,” Ellie reassures. “You both deserve that.”
My smile is tainted with the sadness that typically accompanies thoughts of Kitt. But my grief resides with the boy he was, and the brother he left behind. Despite Kai’s resilience over the past several weeks, I know that he wishes to celebrate today with Kitt, just as I wish to with Adena.
Stepping behind the dressing curtain, I slip into a simple stretch of fabric. The gown is made up of a thin, billowing material that lands just above my ankles. Its strapless bodice hugs me closely before white fabric cascades from my waist. There is little about the dress that makes it particularly interesting, and that is exactly why I chose it.
Adena’s vest captures the attention, its faded, olive fabric snug around my bare shoulders. After days of a seamstress painstakingly mending it, I’m eager to be reunited with my piece of Adena. I stand before the mirror and admire precisely what I had always envisioned for my wedding day.
This moment couldn’t be more different than the one I had stolen before marrying a man I didn’t love. Then, panic prickled my heart and crowded my mind. Now, I’m glowing with happiness, flooded with peace. I’ve already done the grand wedding day and want nothing of the sort. I simply want our day.
A confident knock at the door has my gaze flicking to Ellie.
She reciprocates my confusion before peeking into the hallway with a soft gasp falling from her lips. “Your Majesty, it’s bad luck to see—”
“Bad luck is far less concerning than Pae is with an empty stomach and a dagger in hand.”
Annoyingly, my lips twitch into a smile. “If you’re afraid of me, Azer, just say so.”
Kai’s voice is touched with awe on the other side of my door. “You know I would be a fool not to be, darling.”
I have to plant my feet to keep from running to him.
“I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” Ellie sympathizes through the cracked door. “You really shouldn’t see her until the wedding.”
There is a grin burrowed between his words. “So I won’t look.”
The door swings open.
Ellie’s protest dies in her throat as Kai strides into the room, his head bowed slightly with a hand shielding his eyes. I press a palm to my mouth and smother the laugh tickling my tongue as the king walks toward me. His gaze is on the shifting feet beneath him while mine is on the bowl of porridge clutched between his fingers.
When Kai stops before me, I look down into the soup of oats speckled with fruit. He can’t see my smile. “You added blueberries.”
“It pained me greatly.”
“Your bravery is inspiring,” I croon.
His hand drops from that beautiful face beneath to display dark lashes aimed at the floor. “And selfish.” Dimples frame his curved lips. “I want something in return.”
I cross my arms. “And what would that be?”
“A ‘yes’ at the end of that aisle today.”
The words are quick, a rush of uncertainty I’m so unused to hearing in Kai’s voice. My heart aches at the veiled worry he wears. After finally letting himself feel for someone, he fears I’ll walk away. A king stands before me, stripped bare, and back to the boy who was forced to believe love was a weakness.
Gently, I slip the warm bowl from his fingers and set it on the floor beside me. Then his face is in my hands, his brow creasing at the feel of my touch. “At the end of a blade, I would love you. Until it pierced my throat, I would say ‘yes’ to you.”
The tear that slips down his cheek coaxes one from my own eye. Kai’s voice is rough with emotion as he murmurs, “You’re quite the poet, darling.”
I laugh, my vision blurring with the scrunching of my brimming gaze. “Some fool inspired me.”
We spend the next several moments basking in this limbo between our present and the future awaiting us at the base of a willow tree. We laugh. We pretend not to cry. We say our goodbyes—one due to the temporary distance Ellie insists between us, and the other in memory of our final moments before forever.
Long after Kai strides from my chamber, and Ellie has fussed with my appearance for the final time, a second knock sounds at my door. Lenny asks if I am ready. I don’t hesitate before taking his arm.
“All this time I’ve been calling you ‘Princess’…” Red hair ripples with the slow shake of his head. “Who the hell would have guessed you were one.”
I throw him a playful glare. “Yes, how very shocking.”
It felt good to share the truth with him and those closest to me. But I keep the secret of my royal blood tucked close to my heart, hidden from the kingdom who has already begun to accept me. I say nothing of the forgotten princess I am, so as not to draw Kai’s legitimacy into question.
My whole life, I have been Ordinary. And I no longer feel the need to change that.
“Look,” Lenny continues, undeterred, “I’m more interested in the fact that I might actually be Psychic. I mean, how did I know to call you that?”
I snort. “What next, are you going to discover I’m truly a cockroach?”
“Very funny, Majesty.” He shakes his head at me, even while wearing a smile. We step out into the blooming garden and begin our stroll through the winding paths. Passing the fountain I now look at fondly, Lenny asks, “This is the wedding you want, P? Right?”
I glance over at my friend. He returns the smile lighting my face and flushing my cheeks. My admission is bold and freeing and daring Death to make me regret it. “Desperately.”