Fearless Sinner (Empire of Sinners #3)

Chapter 5

Chloe

Chapter Five

I take a sip of coffee and stare out the window.

I’ve been sitting in the kitchen for the last few hours, thinking about everything.

I barely slept last night. I’ve also had way too much coffee. Eight cups in the space of three hours have fried my nerves.

I’m a wreck and I’m worried about what today will bring.

Despite my terror after Cillian and his men left, I managed to see Mom again, but I didn’t stop looking over my shoulder.

I knew someone was watching me but I didn’t know who. It could have been everyone. It certainly felt that way.

I got back to the house late, then I couldn’t sleep. I might have gotten an hour. Maybe two.

Right now I’m scared half to death, worried about my mother, worried about this money situation, and I keep wondering what I’d really do if this Harlan person showed up.

This is his home. He could come here now and technically kick me out.

I have fifteen thousand dollars. Finding somewhere to stay in New York without a job will burn through that fast. I’ve heard that New York is one of the most expensive cities to live in the country.

Even if I tried to live rough for a while, I’d still have to consider travel expenses and food. The best jobs are in the heart of the city so the further out you go, the more expensive it is to travel. And that’s the same if I got a car or used public transport. I suppose if I did get the car, I could potentially sleep in it.

God. What a nightmare.

I take one more sip of the coffee before I set the cup down on the table.

I have to figure out what I’m doing, but it’s hard when I don’t know where to start.

I have one more paycheck coming in next week from my waitressing job, then that’s it. I planned to get a job as soon as I can, but I wanted to see how Mom was first.

She may need me. It would also be good to stay here, but I accept that may not be possible.

At least Mom kept my room the same. I was pleasantly surprised to see that.

The same white fluffy rug was set by the bedside.The same classical literature and poetry books were lined up on the shelves. The same curtains hung at the windows, and the same pictures of landscapes were on the walls.Not a single thing was out of place.

It gave me some hope that maybe she didn’t hate me as much as I thought.

It’s just past eight, so I’m going to see her in a little while. I messaged Roxanne but haven’t heard back.

I couldn’t bring myself to call her. It was too much. I’m hoping to speak to her to find out all the parts that I don’t know. Especially about Harlan.

I can’t believe Mom got married and I didn’t know.

What does that say about me?

I get up, grab some bread, butter it, then sit again to eat, absorbing the silence.

Everything starts swirling in my mind, but at the heart of it all is Cillian O’Ridian.

I’m supposed to call him if I see Harlan. It hasn’t escaped me that he didn’t tell me to pass any messages on to Harlan. I’m just supposed to call him.

Apart from Cillian’s danger, I keep remembering that obvious way he looked at me. My treacherous body betrayed me the way it did before with Nate.

He was dangerous, too. Not mafia dangerous like I sensed from Cillian, although Nate knew mafia men. That’s how I was able to identify that Cillian and his men must be part of some mafia.

It’s the way they carry themselves. Like they own the world.

Cillian must obviously be part of the Irish mafia, but the other big guy looked Russian. He also had Bratva tattoos that identified him as having been in prison.

Nate was a different kind of danger, and I sense that my mother fell into the same trap I did. Because how would her new husband know mafia men if he wasn’t a bad man himself?

Or maybe I’m trying to make excuses.

Doesn’t misery love company?

I’ll admit that I don’t want to be the only fuck-up in the family. I can’t be the only Ricci woman to be fooled by a man who promised her the world. Right?

For me, it was just a job.

After Juilliard, I auditioned for the New York City Ballet and didn’t make it. That crushed me even though I was so good that the coordinator called me and told me to try again in a year’s time after I got more experience.

She’d explained that it was rare for them to take on a dancer straight out of college. I already knew that but thought I would be the one percent that they accepted. When it didn’t happen, it really jarred me. Then the only job I was able to get was with a small company, but it was a start.

And that’s how I met Nate.

We met after a show and had a one-night stand. I was surprised when he came back the next night to watch me and have me again.

We went on like that for weeks, then weeks turned to months. I was so in love with him I would have done anything.

After eight months he got a job in L.A. and I thought we were going to break up, but he wanted me to go with him.

He also knew how badly I wanted to dance for a big company, so he promised to arrange for me to meet people who could get me in.

Mom never liked Nate. She thought he was selling me down the river, and she spotted his controlling, possessive ways a mile away. She worried he would snap one day.

When Nate told me Mom was the controlling one and she was trying to stop us from being together, I believed him. That’s what I saw, too. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t allow me to live my life and be with who I chose to be with. That was the fuel that fanned the flames of the disagreement that kept us apart for so many years.

I hated that Mom and I weren’t talking. And when I got to L.A. and Nate helped me to land a job with the Los Angeles Ballet, it was strange not seeing my mother in the audience on my first show.

But that was the least of my problems.

I grew in popularity very quickly. Within two months the company gave me more central parts in the new shows.

It was everything I wanted but Nate hated the attention I received.

He hated the way other men looked at me, and his jealousy and possessive nature reared their ugly head.

I was six months into the job when he beat me for the first time. He thought I was cheating on him with one of my dance partners.

I’d barely managed to get him to believe me when he did it again and again. That third time was the worst. I couldn’t go to work because he’d rearranged my face.

But nothing was as bad as when he threw me down the stairs after finding some guy hitting on me after the show. He blamed me because he claimed I was wearing revealing clothes. It was only my Swan Lake leotard and tutu.

Nate threw me down the stairs, then he made sure to fix the problem we were having by breaking my legs, so I’d never dance again.

I was in the hospital for weeks with that one, and now, although I can still dance, it’s not like before. So I can’t work for the type of dance company I dreamed of—small or big. My body can’t handle it.

The plan was to teach when I retired. I wanted to open a dance school, but I’d hoped to have years and years of experience under my belt by then.

I’ve just about managed to scrape two years in. The strongest thing I have on my resume is Juilliard, where I also did my teacher training. I also have my short claim to fame in L.A.

It’s not a lot in comparison to what most pros have, but it will get me a foot in the door. Even if I could get a part time position teaching at a school until I build my own dreams.

The click of the front door makes me straighten and I’m yanked from my thoughts.

Footsteps echo on the floorboards, piercing through the silence that has settled over the house.

I push to my feet and prepare to face whoever it may be. My heart is hammering so hard against my ribs I fear they may crack.

The kitchen door swings open and when I find myself standing face to face with Roxanne, something I can’t describe spreads across my heart.

It feels like warmth and confusion. Sadness and happiness. Hurt and healing.

She walks into the kitchen and her expression is like everything I feel.

Roxanne is four years older than me, but she’s hardly changed in the last three years. We always looked similar enough for people to mistake us for sisters, and we never corrected them because at one point we wanted to be sisters.

I think she must remember that part about us, too, because a pained look flashes in her eyes and she rushes forward to hug me.

“My God, you’re really here,” Roxanne speaks into my hair, holding me tighter.

“I am.” I hold her the same way.

The feelings that swell through me for having my cousin hold me like this are indescribable. I didn’t realize just how much I missed her until now.

“It’s so good to see you.” She releases me and looks me over.

“Do you know about Mom?”

She dips her head and when she lifts it tears are in her eyes. “I know. I should have stayed but I thought that no-good husband of hers would have done right by her.”

There’s my answer—that no good husband.

“Roxanne, what happened?”

“Everything.”

“Tell me what happened. When I got here yesterday there were a bunch of mafia men waiting in the living room. They were armed.”

Her hands fly to her cheeks. “Oh Jesus. Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m okay. They were looking for Harlan.”

Her chest caves. “Then everything is so much worse than I thought. Come, let’s sit and talk.”

She guides me back to the chair and we sit together.

“Harlan is… he’s a con artist, Chloe.” She brings a trembling hand to her head, then wipes away a wayward tear. “He’s taken all your mother’s money. Everything from the restaurant is gone, all her savings gone. Everything is gone.”

Earlier, when I thought about misery loving company, I never thought the problem would be anything like this. I suspected it was bad. Bad enough to warrant mafia guys in the living room. But I hoped that maybe there was some money left.

“Everything, Roxanne?” My voice is barely there as I speak.

“Yeah. Your mom found out days ago when a debt collection agency called her.” She wipes away another tear. “And the worst thing is, Harlan fooled her into getting a loan for a quarter million. They put up the house and restaurant as collateral. I was here when she found out he spent all that money. He spent it on prostitutes, drugs, and gambled the rest away. They were supposed to build another branch of the restaurant in Chicago, but that was just a clever ruse.”

“No wonder Mom had a heart attack.”

“Yeah. I could see it coming. She’s been sick with her heart since last year.”

That saddens me even more. The weight of guilt pulls me down and I feel like I’m going to go through the earth.

I stand to try and fight the feeling but it doesn’t stop the tears from falling.

I stare back at Roxanne and shake my head. “Why didn’t anyone call me? I get it. I fucked up. I fucked up big time and I can’t take it back. But why didn’t you call me to tell me my mother was sick? She got married and I didn’t even know.”

Roxanne stands and walks over to me. “We did call. Sure, it was maybe three months or so after you left before we called, but we called. I called, and so did your mother, but Nate…he wouldn’t let us talk to you. He told us you wanted nothing to do with us. We asked him to tell you that we called but we never heard back from you.”

The air catches in my lungs and burns. It feels like it turns everything inside me to ashes.

“My God.” That man did so much worse to me than I even knew. It was around the three-month mark that Nate took my phone and gave me another. But then I was just doing anything to keep the peace. “He never told me you called. Not once.”

“I thought so.”

“That fucking bastard.”

“Aren’t you with him anymore?”

It’s funny, when disaster strikes and your world feels like it’s ending you think everyone knows. But they don’t. Roxanne looks none the wiser.

“No. The guy I gave up everything for turned out to be the devil, and now he’s in prison for murder.”

Roxanne goes completely pale. “Murder? What? Oh, Chloe.”

“He was a monster. Mom… was right.”

“Oh God. Your mom hired a PI to look for you when we didn’t hear back. We never had an address. They saw that you were happy and you were dancing in some grand production in Russia, so your mother left you alone.”

I shake my head again. “No. That was my last show. That was just before Nate broke my legs.” The tears come harder now.

Roxanne glances down at my legs and brings a hand to her heart. “He broke your legs?”

“I can’t dance the way I used to anymore.”

“This can’t be true.”

“It’s true.”

“Oh no. No.” She cups my face and dries my tears. “I’m so sorry, Chloe. I truly am.”

“Thank you. I would have come back before now but I needed to sort myself out. I wasn’t in the best head space.”

“Of course.”

“I guess I’m still not myself yet, but I’m here. I got my phone back when Nate went to prison. I should have known something was up when I saw the whole call history had been deleted and all my messages were gone. I just happened to have it on me when the hospital called about Mom.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“You’re home now. I guess for however long this is home.”

“I need to do something to get that money.”

“It’s a lot, Chloe. I remortgaged my place already to pay for your mom’s medical treatment, so I’m tapped out.”

“You had to do that?” I feel even worse.

“Your mother’s insurance wouldn’t cover the cost. Harlan got her to change her policy when they first met, so now they’ll only cover her outpatient care and one week’s stay in the hospital.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“He’s a real douchebag.”

“Do you think Harlan will come back here?”

“No. I wouldn’t be too surprised if he saw your mother collapse on the floor and left her there to die. I spoke to her an hour before I flew out to San Francisco, and he was here.”

“You think he would do that?”

“Yes. I only left your mom because my business trip was an attempt to save us. I was trying to get a loan for half a million, but when the investor looked at the restaurant earnings and they knew I’d remortgaged, they turned me down. That was my last hope.” She sighs and sets her shoulders back. “Did you meet Cillian? The Irish guy.”

At the mention of Cillian’s name my stomach twists. “Yes. He told me the money needed to be paid by next week or he’d take the house and the restaurant.”

She nods. “Yeah. And he will because I don’t know what else we can do. There’s also the matter of your mom’s medical treatment.”

I think for a moment. Really think. I have to do something. I can’t just let this all happen. “I have fifteen grand. It’s a small drop, but it’s something. Maybe I could speak to him. Just to bargain for some more time to pay him.”

The shadow of doubt creeps into Roxanne’s eyes. “I don’t even know if you should speak to him.”

“He wants me to call if Harlan turns up.”

“Harlan’s not going to turn up so there’s no point putting yourself in danger like that. And not with a man like Cillian O’Ridian.”

“I’ve seen mafia men before?—”

“He’s the boss. As in the head of the Irish mafia.”

My blood turns to stone. “The head?”

“Yes. And if there were Russian guys with him, they were most likely Bratva men in positions of authority. Basically people you don’t fuck with.”

And so much worse than Nathan. But… this is about my mother and my family legacy. We’ve had the restaurant in our family for decades. The house, too.

“I have to try, Roxanne. I just have to. I’ve lived my life in fear for far too long. Now I have to do what it takes to help my family.”

“After what you’ve been through, I don’t want to put you in danger.”

“I know, but I have to try. I’ll ask him for more time to pay and then maybe I can get a business investment loan.” I looked it all up last night, trying to find out what types of loans I may be eligible for without a job or owning my own home.That kind of loan seemed to be my best bet.

“A business investment loan sounds like a good idea.”

“I don’t have any debt, so maybe that will be on my side.You just need to be able to show what business you’re investing in and have good credit for them to consider you.”

“I suppose it can’t hurt to try. And you know you have me. I won’t jump ship until I know there’s no hope. Granted, it looks that way now.”

“Thank you, Roxanne.”

“You know you don’t have to thank me. Your mother was like mine, too. She took care of me after my parents died. This is the least I can do.”

“I’m just glad to be back and you don’t hate me.”

“Never. Your mom will be happy to see you, too.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so. We just have to pray she wakes up.”

I pray for that even more.