Fearless Sinner (Empire of Sinners #3)

Chapter 17

Chloe

Chapter Seventeen

Roxanne and I have just come back from the hospital. We’re back earlier tonight because Dr. Chase wanted Mom to have an early night.

The news of the declined loan was a dark cloud hanging over us which we didn’t share with Mom or Dr. Chase.

Now that we’re home I feel the weight of hopelessness even more pulling my soul under.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do.” Roxanne sulks as we enter the kitchen.

“I don’t know either.” I sit at the breakfast table and gaze out the window.

“We’re going to have to say something to Dr. Chase at least.” Roxanne leans against the counter.

“I know. I would have spoken to him earlier, but I couldn’t bear him telling Mom. Did you see how happy she was today?”

Roxanne nods. “She was smiling and laughing. She looked like her old self.”

“She did.”

“You know what? I think we should regroup tomorrow. You should get some sleep.” Roxanne looks worried about me.

I never told her where I was last night. She doesn’t know that I sought solace in the arms of my monster. She thinks I was walking the streets of New York crying my eyes out. If Cillian hadn’t saved me I probably would have done that.

“You should get some rest, too.”

“Adrian is going to pick me up. I’m going to stay with him tonight. He’s been so good to me through this whole event.”

“I’m glad you found each other.”

She grins with her usual sass. “He was my favorite accident.”

I smile back at her, taking comfort in the spark that comes into her eyes whenever she talks about Adrian. “From what you told me he sounds like a very good accident.”

“He was the best kind.”

She and Adrian have been dating for six months. He’s ten years older than her and works in real estate, which is a big bonus for Roxanne because she likes ambitious men who are real go-getters. She met him at a coffee shop when she was supposed to be meeting Harlan there to pick up some paperwork for the restaurant. Harlan was late. When she went to look for Harlan, she bumped into Adrian, spilling coffee over him. They got talking and by the end of that exchange, he asked her out. They’ve been dating ever since.

“You haven’t said anything about Cillian. Have you seen him since that night?”

She knows about the night he came to claim his eighteen and a half minutes, but nothing more. I don’t feel like telling her that I complicated things even more between us. “No.”

I hate lying, but I need to right now. I’m not in the mood to talk about the man who makes me happy when I feel guilty for seeking an escape from the situation we’re in. As Cillian feasted on me at the bar and in his gorgeous four-bedroom mansion in the Hamptons, I felt like I wasn’t me, as if I slipped away and became someone else.

I wanted to stay at his house and explore it and explore him too. But I had to come back to Earth.

“I guess we need to keep things simple, so maybe it’s best. I wish we could get another loan from him but I know it would be inappropriate.”

I’m already nodding. “I have to find another way.”

“We,” she corrects me with a little smile. “We have to find another way.”

“I appreciate you.”

“I know. There has to be something we can do. We have this house and we have the restaurant. We could sell something.”

I bite the inside of my lips. “The problem is the length of time. How long will it take to sell a house or restaurant? It could be months.” I’ve known places to be on the market for years. “I keep remembering Mom saying there are only two to three months before we have no hope.”

“She told me that, too. It felt like she was preparing us.”

“Yes. It did feel like that.”

“We’ll put our heads together and come up with something. We have to.”

The kitchen door swings open and Adrian comes through carrying a giant bag of Cheetos.

“Hey, girls.” He smiles at both of us.

“Hi,” I reply while Roxanne rushes up to him to give him a kiss.

Like me, Roxanne is short and Adrian is at least six foot four. They look good together with their similar dark hair and secret smiles. Seeing them together makes me think that might be how Cillian and I look. But we’re not a couple. Roxanne and Adrian are.

“Roxy tells me you like these so I thought I’d get some for you.” He hands me the Cheetos.

I smile wider and take them from him. “Thank you.”

“You are so sweet, mister.” Roxy hugs him.

“I know you girls are going through a tough time.” He gives me a sympathetic smile. The kind a big brother would give when he wants you to feel better. “Please let me know if I can do anything.”

“Thanks. See you guys in the morning.”

“See you.”

They leave and the silence of the house quickly takes over.

I think of Cillian. I waited until he fell asleep before I left him.

The plan was to leave by sunrise. It was the first time that I loathed watching the sun come up.

I didn’t want to leave him. I didn’t want to step back into reality and face my problems. I just wanted to stay in Cillian’s arms.

I want to do that again now, but I can’t run away from my problems anymore.

But I can go for a walk, or a drive.

I call a taxi to take me into the city. When I get there I walk around, window shopping. Dad used to do this with me sometimes when we had nothing to do.

We'd look at each store to see what was going on inside. Granted, we did that during the daytime and not at ten-thirty o’clock at night when all sorts of people are out.

I pass by a swanky high-end nightclub with people queuing outside to be let in. I stop when I see a vacancy post on the message board near the opening hours sign and move closer to read a little more.

The vacancy is for a starlet—whatever that is—and you can earn up to three thousand dollars a night.

It’s only when I read a little more about the vacancy and take in the black frosted windows that I realize the club is not exactly the kind I’m used to.

It’s a sex club. And a starlet is one of their main attractions, that men can book for sex.

I must have fallen far off the face of the earth if I’m considering this.

But this is not about me. It’s about my mother.

Three grand a night over a month is ninety thousand dollars if I work every night.

Dr. Chase said we’d have to pay a deposit for the surgery of a hundred thousand then the rest within thirty days of the surgery being completed. I have fifteen thousand in the bank.

Even if someone buys the house or restaurant outright we’d still need to do all sorts of things before we hand over the property and get the money.

And Mom is stubborn. I know her. She’s not going to want to sell the house or the restaurant to save her life when she has nothing left to give us. The fact that Roxanne works at the restaurant is enough to stop her.

Mom will think of us first even though we’re desperate to save her.

If I did this Mom could have her surgery within a month.

I’d just have to become a slut.

How do you do something like this when you have feelings for someone else?

Cillian…

He was just a dream. This is reality and the last thing I need to do for redemption.

I will not let my mother die. I can’t lose her. Not like Dad.

“Hello, sweetness. You look like just what we need inside,” comes a smoky voice from behind me.

I turn around to see one of the bouncers looking at me while he smokes a cigar.

“I was looking at the vacancy post. Is it still available?”

He smiles, reminding me of a shark. “For you it is. Follow me.”

I do.