Chapter 29
Feeling That Way
Jules
“…I love you and I need you to know it.”
As Noah finished a romance monologue that I wished I could have my heroes say, he looked at peace.
My heart broke for him because what I’d seen when I walked into Jake and Ivy’s was just that, heartbreaking.
As flighty as my parents were, I thought of all the times over the years that I’d come to them for advice, to dry my tears, just to be held.
Noah hadn’t had that, not even anything close.
And today, he’d found some comfort in Margot.
I was grateful he had that, but I wanted so much more for him.
I wanted to be that. I wanted him to get that from my parents, from Lou and Verdell.
I wanted him to feel love coming from every direction and have an endless supply of support, anywhere he could turn.
“Jules?”
I looked up and realized I’d gotten lost in my head again.
“Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking of how much I love you and what I want for you in this world,” I said, still thinking of the best way to support him.
“I’m sorry, did you just say you love me too?”
I looked at him in confusion. “Yes, of course. I thought that was established.”
He gave me a brilliant smile. “For a romance writer, you don’t feel like you need a long-winded speech?”
I laughed. “I mean, I thought in yours you mentioned you felt my love supporting you all week.”
“True, true. But you can love someone like a friend, care about them. And I love you like that but more.”
I got up to sit on his lap.
“Oh my, Ms. Maxwell, is this appropriate?”
“Hush. It is for this.” I put my palms on either side of his face.
“Noah Michael Lawson, I love you. Frankly, you are all my romance heroes come to life. I think I fell a little in love with you when I saw you walk into the Homestead the first time. I know I did when I saw you holding Addie’s hand.
When I saw you with her, it was there. Watching you with Mary and realizing how deeply your soul craved love.
I felt it when we were in the kitchen, when I slept by your side in the dark, in the silence of our everyday life, on the car ride back to Highland Falls, in all the little things you do for me.
The way you treat me told me you cared too.
Watching you sleep, waking up next to you, I knew I was in love with you.
I just didn’t want to scare you by telling you, which I now know was just stupid. ” I pressed a kiss to his lips.
Noah dropped his head to my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. I had mine around his shoulders and we just sat together, breathing.
Then he leaned back and looked at me. “So why are you moving?”
I looked at him in confusion, then thought of my house. “Oh, because the boxes?”
He nodded.
“Oh, you sweet man. We are the ultimate miscommunication storyline of one of my books. My dad was checking my rental out. The foundation in the front room is shot. I called my landlord this morning, and fortunately she knows of a mason who has time in his schedule to do some work next week. I’m clearing out that room because they’re jacking the house up to fix the foundation and I just figured if it got dusty or anything, it would be easier. ”
He dropped his head to my chest again. “Not moving.”
I kissed the top of his head. “Not moving.”
“And that was Kylie?”
“Yep. Did she hit on you?”
“A bit.”
I snorted. “She wasn’t serious, just who she is.”
He didn’t lift his head, just nodded his understanding. “Is she staying?”
“For the weekend. I figured she could have my bed.” I waited for him to put the pieces together.
He lifted his head. “And you will stay…”
I shrugged. “In yours? If you’re okay with that when Addie is over.”
Noah leaned his head up and pressed a kiss to my mouth.
“I’m very okay with it when Addie is over, but I think she can stay with Jake and Ivy tonight.
Maybe a big dinner for all of us—including Addie, the Spencers, your parents and Kylie—at the Homestead?
And then you and I can celebrate finally getting our communication down at home in my bed? ”
I traced a finger along his jaw. “Sounds good, but we could also do a little pre-celebration in your bed oh, I don’t know, say in ten minutes or so if we walk fast.”
Noah held me tight as he rose, and I slid down his body and then stood in front of him. “I think we can make it closer to seven if we run.” He grabbed my hand and tugged me to get started as I laughed.
Forty-five minutes later, I was running my fingers over his abs and tracing his cock, which was spent. It twitched, and I looked up to him with a grin.
He snorted. “I can go again, but you’ll have to give me at least ten minutes. I’m not twenty anymore.”
“Poor baby.” I was lying on my side, my head propped up on my hand as I took in the naked glory that was Noah. He had ruined me for writing sex scenes because nothing on paper would compare to the connection I felt with him. After he’d shared some of his fears, it was even better. Who knew?
“So, what do you want to do for a job?” I traced my hands over his chest simply because I could.
He put his hands behind his head and looked from me to the ceiling. I loved that he was on board with being a feast for my eyes right now. “I don’t know. I want to still do something that gives back. I thought about using my inheritance to shore up the funds, but that doesn’t seem right.”
I ran a finger over a nipple, then over one side of his chest. I loved the feeling of his wiry chest hair over his muscles.
There was a contrast that I struggled to figure out how to describe.
Even so, there was something nagging in the back of my mind.
“Using your inheritance to donate to worthy causes is admirable, but funding your job seems like a short-term solution. You could benefit lots of organizations instead of just one if you plan it out.”
He nodded. “That sounds good. I also have been thinking I originally went to Africa because it was something I heard about when I was young and I wanted to do something to put good in this world that was counter to the negativity my parents were pouring into it. But I don’t have to go to Africa to do good, I’m just not sure where to start. ”
I sat up stark naked and didn’t even care. “That’s it!”
He looked up at me and slid a hand up my belly to rest on one breast. “This is lovely.”
I slapped his hand. “Not the time, babe. I just remembered what was nagging me.”
He squeezed my breast because of course he did. “I am happy to nag you. I think I’m almost ready to go again if that helps.”
I scooted back and put a hand out to stop him from following me. “Stay there, sir. You’re going to want to hear this.”
He rolled to his side and leaned his head on his hand. “Fine, fine, say your piece, kitten.”
“I met a woman named Cristin at work this week. She’s a friend of Sue’s and heads up some multicounty nonprofit that links donors with needs in this area.
They fund everything from educational initiatives to community-engagement ideas to scholarships, micro grants, and so much more.
She was saying they’ve grown so much in the past few years that she was drafting up a new leadership position for their group.
After she left, Sue said she was beyond impressed with everything they were doing.
” I sat, my mind spinning on what that could mean for Noah.
“You could apply for that job, and if that doesn’t work out, there’s the University of Illinois.
I’m sure they’d have something in their foundation.
Heck, there are so many local opportunities if you don’t have to be worried about a huge salary, which you wouldn’t. ”
Noah pulled himself up to sitting and faced me. “Can I touch you now?”
I shrugged. “I suppose.”
He reached out and pulled me to him as I clambered to straddle his lap and wrap my arms around his shoulders.
“Thanks for caring about me,” he whispered before kissing me.
I fell into our kiss, never tiring of the way we could move from light pecks to a kiss that felt like being devoured.
I was so hungry for this man. It was soon and I cared not at all; he was it for me.
I wanted to be by his side as he figured out a new job.
I wanted to be with him as he continued to deal with the impact his parents had on his life.
I couldn’t wait to see Mary again and celebrate who she had been—and still was—in his life.
The idea of watching him raise Addie from the sassy and spunky six-year-old she was into the woman she would become sounded like perfection.
And the notion that we might have our own kids one day…
Well, there weren’t words to describe how that filled me up.
I pulled back for just a moment. “Hey, Noah?”
He pressed his lips to mine and then drew away. “Hey, Jules.”
I moved to his ear and whispered, “I’m so glad I moved here.”
He turned to look at me with a beautiful smile. “Me too.” And then he flipped me on my back and proceeded to show me how much once again.
Two hours later, we walked into the Homestead hand in hand.
The place was hopping for a Thursday night.
We weaved through tables to get to the section of low tables and couches in the bar area where I could already see our crew gathered.
But more than that, as I looked at some high tables around the area, I saw my parents, the Spencers, Lou and Verdell.
Sue was with Lou, and I waved at her. She and I had a great talk earlier in the week, and she had been on board with me working part-time after I signed all her books and had a half-hour conversation about my plans for the series.
Far from being annoyed about it, I informed her she’d just become one of my beta readers when she remembered details I hadn’t. She was thrilled.
As we finally reached our friends, I smiled.
Kylie was right in the mix, sitting between Maggie and Maeve, Kristine from the yoga studio across from them.
While I didn’t know everyone super well yet, I knew that would be a dangerous group.
Addie was stretched out on the floor with her coloring supplies and a ton of little farm animals set up in some type of scene.
She looked over to Noah and me and blew us a kiss before getting back to work.
“So I hear we have a famous author in the mix.” Maeve spoke up.
Kylie held up her hands. “It wasn’t me.”
Ivy raised a hand. “It was me. I already have some posters I’m putting up in the shop. Hope that’s okay.”
“Absolutely.” I loved how this group of people were in each other’s lives. I’d never had anything like this, but I was there for it.
“Do we need to go to another male revue in the name of research?” Kristine asked, a smirk on her face. “I’m happy to do so.”
“Me too,” Maeve said as Levi shook his head.
“I’m good with not going again,” I said to the boos of some of the ladies, some nods from others.
“I’m going to grab us a drink,” Noah said, but before he could get away, Drew and Kate walked up with another guy who seemed to fit right into the Highland Falls model—tall, scruffy, and gorgeous.
Drew spoke up. “Hey guys, do you remember James? He was here last year for a week or so and we worked together in the hotshots in Colorado. James, our crew.” He gestured at all of us. “Guys, James.”
I watched the table and noted that Kylie was giving me an expression.
I tilted my head to ask what was up and she nodded at Kristine, who got up and stormed out.
I watched her go, but then Drew’s friend noted the same thing and took off after her.
Kylie and I exchanged a glance, and I looked to Noah.
“I have no idea, kitten, but we’re staying out of it.”
“Noah, think of this as research…”
He laughed and pulled me to him. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” I kissed him. “Now I’ll take one of those rosé ciders if they have it.”
“On it.” He took off, and I looked around the space.
So many people I cared about: my family, new friends, my boss, Addie, Noah.
They knew who I was, no secrets, no changing to be like other people to fit in.
They liked me for me and didn’t expect me to be anyone different.
I’d found my own real-life romance story, and it was better than anything I could have written.
Was it love? It was feeling that way and even more. It was forever.