57
Buzz
"How are you feeling?"
Howie asks, dropping off another box on the front porch.
"Hey. Careful,"
I say, tapping it gently with my foot.
"See that big word written on the side of it? F-r-a-g-i-l-e."
I spell it out for him.
"Means be careful so you don't break what's inside."
"Gee, thanks for that."
He elbows me in the ribs, nowhere near as hard as he could. He's back in top form. The only reason he's in Clovelly is because it's the off-season, but come next month, he'll be in the starting lineup for the preseason game.
We sit down on the stoop, and I reach for my water bottle and take a drink. We've been working all morning, and it's almost eighty degrees, a mini heatwave by Maine standards.
"I'm happy and sad,"
I tell him.
"We've made the right decision, but change is never easy."
"That's why I never change,"
Ramzi says, waltzing up the path carrying the last of the boxes from the U-Haul I hired for the day, grinning like the goofball he is.
"Thank the good lord he made me perfect so I don't have to."
I chuckle even though it's a lame joke. Howie stands up to let him through, staring out into the front yard as Ramzi passes him.
"This one says bedroom, so I'll take it upstairs."
"Thanks, man," I say.
"And good job on the reading."
"Fuck you, and you're buying me lunch after this."
I chuckle.
"Fair enough."
He goes inside, and Howie sits back down.
"I can't believe I'm a co-homeowner,"
I say, bumping him with my leg.
"And it's all because of you."
"It's nothing."
"Helping me out with my half of the down payment is not nothing. You know I'll pay you back, right?"
"I know you will, but you don't have to. Raising a kid is expensive, and that kid is my half sibling, too. I'd like to do something to contribute."
"Unlike our jackass father,"
I say, kicking at a loose stone.
Howie groans.
"I still can't believe how he reacted."
Court's mom called him last night to say she'd met up with our dad. He, grossly, was under the impression it was for a bit of hanky panky, but apparently, he took one look at her, and his face turned white as a ghost.
They talked instead, and he begged her not to tell Liz.
Elaine went along with it on the condition he doesn't interfere with her plan for Court and me to adopt and raise the baby.
I always imagined in the back of my mind that when Dad found out, he'd step up and do the right thing, be involved in the child's life in some way.
But nope.
He's wiping his hands clean of everything. The kid and the affair, happy to pretend both never happened.
I thought him knowing would provide some sort of closure or resolution. It hasn't.
And it's going to make family holidays awkward as hell. I don't even know if I'll want to go. I might need to ask Zane for advice on how to implement a 'no contact' policy. At least for a while.
Disappointed doesn't even begin to cover how I feel. I've lost all respect for the man.
"You and Court are going to do great raising this child,"
Howie says.
"Not to be bitchy or anything, but our dad and Court's mom aren't exactly ideal parents."
"That's a pretty low bar."
"It is," he hums.
"Which is why I think this kid has a much better shot of not ending up completely fucked up with you guys."
I loop my arm over the back of his neck and kiss his cheek.
"Thanks, bro."
"So, when do I get a tour of this place?"
Ramzi asks, his boots thudding heavily on the wooden porch floor.
It’s a big lot with a small creek out back. Court and I fell in love with it the moment we laid eyes on it. It's a quintessential Maine house with plenty of space and privacy, and it's only a short drive to town.
I promised I'd show Howie the creek when we arrived, and he's been bugging me about it ever since. I suppose it's not a bad thing to get some practice dealing with an impatient toddler.
"All right. I'll take you. You coming, Howie?"
"Nah. I might get started on putting the entertainment unit together. You two go."
He ducks inside, and I stare after him. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something’s a little off with him today.
"Come on. Let's go,"
I say to Ramzi and set off around the side of the house to get to the backyard.
"Where's Court?"
Ramzi asks, falling into step next to me.
It's the start of summer, a beautiful warm day with a perfect blue sky. The best start to this new chapter of my life.
Of our lives.
"He got called to the inn this morning. A guest had a heart attack," I say,
"Shit. Are they okay?"
"I think so. Court stabilized them until the EMTs arrived, then they were taken to the hospital. He went to the old apartment to collect the last of his stuff. He should be here soon."
"And how are you guys doing? You've done so much in such a short space of time. Becoming official. Buying a house. Court moving here permanently and joining the Clovelly Family Practice. You almost beating me for that promotion."
I snicker.
"Never miss a chance to throw that one in, do ya?"
He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat, man. You've got it all. A guy who's crazy about you. A beautiful new home. A baby just a few days away. All I have is work…and a massive dick."
"And no one to use it on?"
"Well…"
He glances over his shoulder, up to the house. "Yeah."
"So here it is,"
I say, wading through the long grass to get to the small creek.
"It's nothing big. Court wants to build a stone fire over here."
"That'd be nice."
"Yeah, I think so, too."
"And you're only a few blocks away from Howie. That'll be convenient for babysitting."
We start heading back to the house.
"He's in the starting lineup, so I doubt I'll be seeing much of him."
"Right. Of course."
I glance over and notice an uncharacteristic slump in Ramzi's step.
"You okay, man? You seem a little…down."
"Yeah. Fine."
We walk the rest of the way in silence, and when we get to the back patio, he says.
"I might take off."
"What about lunch? It's my treat, remember?"
He tucks his hands into the pockets of his shorts.
"I've got a few errands I need to run."
"But it's free food. You never decline free food."
He claps me on the back.
"Maybe I'm finally growing up."
"Now you're just scaring me."
He pulls me in for a brief side hug then takes off with .
"Later, man."
"Thanks for all your help,"
I call out after him.
He waves over his shoulder but doesn't look back.
I dig out my phone and text Court to find out when he'll be arriving. I need backup. I am over straight men and their moods.