Fenrik’s Fate (Abandoned on Niflheim)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

TRACY

D eciding I could at least look outside to see if Fenrik was anywhere to be seen, I stepped out of the cabin and down the little porch steps. Looking out into the clearing, I couldn’t tell which direction he’d gone. There were footsteps all over the grass from him coming and going. There were only two clear paths out of the clearing. One was probably from where he entered while running from the tribe, which meant the other had to be the one he took to hunt. It was late afternoon and I was shoeless and wearing a barely there dress. I’d been alone in the cabin all day.

What if he never came back?

Choosing the trail that made the most sense based on nothing but intuition, I followed it into the woods. It wasn’t bad underfoot, mainly flattened grass. When I reached the trees, it turned into hard-packed dirt. If I stepped gingerly, avoiding the bigger rocks and roots that stuck up, it was manageable. I tried to be as quiet as I could, stepping gingerly along the trail and looking for any sign of Fenrik. It was only a few moments before I reached a fork.

Fuck. Maybe this is a terrible idea.

But what was I going to do? Stay in the cabin and die there? Try to learn what plants were edible through trial and error? None of my worst-case-scenario thinking prepared me for alien abduction. I rolled all of my options around in my head and couldn’t come up with any other solution. Standing there with my hands on my hips, trying to pick a path, wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I picked the one that looked slightly more worn and followed it. As I walked, I took mental notes of anything I saw that I could use to find my way back: a large oddly shaped boulder, a tree that looked as if it had been split by lightning, and a fallen log covered in moss. As I got further in, the forest got darker, with more of the light blotted out by the giant trees. However, it meant the forest floor was softer on my feet, covered with different mosses. I thought I heard something up ahead and rushed to the noise, hoping to find Fenrik. The ground started to slope down, and the trees thin, and then I saw it.

I skidded to a halt twenty paces away from what looked very much like an Earth bear fishing in the stream. Or at least, that is what I assumed it was doing. It was watching the water very intently and hadn’t noticed me. I held back the scream that threatened to erupt and I backed away very slowly, never taking my eyes off of it. When I reached the tree line I felt my foot press down and snap a twig. The noise echoed through the silence. The animal’s head swung up and it locked eyes with me. I immediately noticed the differences between it and an Earth bear as it let out a low growl. It had not one, but two rows of pointed teeth, with the front canines extending in a saber-toothed tiger sort of way. Oh, and it had four yellow eyes—all of them narrowed on me. Great.

I turned on my foot and fled. I didn’t bother looking back to see if the bear-thing was following me. I ran flat out for as long as possible, weaving through trees and wincing every time I stepped on a particularly sharp rock. I ran until my lungs burned, and I had a stitch in my side and pushed myself to go even further, blindly panicking. I wasn’t going to make it through an alien abduction only to be eaten by a bear.

Eventually, I had to stop, realizing I wasn’t on any trail and had no idea where I was. I strained my ears to hear any noise of the bear coming to follow me, but I heard nothing. Suddenly, I felt foolish. I was now even more lost. I tried to take in everything around me, and nothing seemed familiar.

Why would it? Dumb, dumb, dumb Tracy.

I was never going to make it back to the cabin. I didn’t even have stupid basic wilderness skills like knowing what side of a tree moss grows on. They didn’t teach that in Girl Scouts where I was from. Not that it would matter. So what if moss grew on the north side of the trees if I didn’t know if the cabin was north or south of where I was?

All of a sudden it became too much. The adrenaline from my panic at the cabin and then from the bear was slipping out of me. I was exhausted and I slumped down against a tree and started to cry. And not that cute sweet crying that girls do on TV, but big ugly sobs that shook my whole body. I cried for the childhood that I lost to my strict upbringing. I cried for the loveless marriage I’d been forced into. I cried for all the hard work I had put in to build a new life, something that would finally be mine, just to have it all ripped away. Yes, the crappy job at Coco’s was a crappy job at Coco’s, but it was mine. I had gotten there on my own. I finally had a tiny sliver of freedom and I’d had it all snatched away from me. I sobbed until snot ran out of my nose and I wasn’t making any noise. I laid my head down on the forest floor and wished for it to swallow me up as I cried until I had no more tears in me.

I woke to someone gently shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to find myself face to face with Fenrik, kneeling in front of me. Concern etched his face as he looked from my tear-streaked face to my dirty and bruised feet.

“What happened?” he asked. “Why did you leave the cabin?”

This was as close as he’d been to me, having given me a wide berth when he first woke me up. Once you got past the startling differences, he was handsome. He had a strong square jaw and full lips that looked soft, with large tusks jutting from either side. His dark brows arched beautifully and were currently creased with concern. Without thinking, I touched his face with just the tips of my fingers. He had the beginnings of a stubbly five-o’clock shadow and was very warm to the touch. I couldn’t believe he came looking for me, a stranger—an alien—he’d just met.

“You came looking for me?”

“Of course. You aren’t safe in these woods alone. But why did you leave?”

I sighed. “After you were gone all morning, I got this thought in my head that maybe you hadn’t gone hunting. That—that—” I faltered.

I didn’t want him to think I didn’t trust him. Even though he’d given me no reason not to. Now I was ashamed for not trusting that he’d come back. I took a deep breath.

“I thought that maybe I was too much trouble, and you’d gone back to your tribe or gone to join another tribe.”

“Why would I leave you behind?” he asked, lips pursed in confusion.

“You only just met me. You don’t have any reason to help me,” I said, dipping my head in shame.

"I’m helping you because you need help. You’ve never had a stranger help you just because you needed it?” He seemed almost mad, his massive shoulders bunching up.

I thought of Trish and how she helped me get back on my feet, asking for nothing in return. Sure it wasn’t the warmest of support, but it was help nonetheless. All my coworkers saw me struggle to gain footing in a new town where I knew no one and helped me slowly come out of my shell. Maybe it was because Fenrik was male, and males hadn’t treated me kindly in the past. I searched his face for any ounce of doubt. He looked determined.

“I know that doesn’t excuse me for not giving you a chance, but it is going to take me a while to believe that I can trust you, especially when you’re getting nothing in return.” I chewed my lower lip.

“But you’re willing to try to trust me?” he asked, earnestly.

“If you still want to help me,” I mumbled, fidgeting with my hands in my lap. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Hey. We’re both kind of stuck. Doesn’t it make sense to be stuck with someone else?”

“I suppose.” I still felt sorry for myself.

“Alright then, let’s head back to the cabin. The sun is going down and I don’t want to be stuck out here in the dark.”

I stood slowly and winced as I put pressure on my feet. The adrenaline that poured through me as I ran from the bear had made me numb to the damage I’d caused as I ran through the forest. Not only were the bottoms of my feet dirty, but they were covered in cuts and bruises. I had scrapes on my arms and face from where I’d flown by tree branches as fast as I could. It was going to be painfully slow going to get back to the cabin.

I looked at Fenrik and nodded to show him I was ready to go. He headed in the exact opposite direction I would have guessed the cabin to be, so I truly would have been fucked had he not shown up to save me—again.

I hobbled along slowly, pain lancing through me each time I stepped on a rock or a twig. I tried to keep up, but it wasn’t long before Fenrik noticed how much I was struggling. He raised his brows at me as I limped forward.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine. I just hurt my feet more than I realized running through the forest barefoot.” I tried to dismiss his concern and keep walking.

He stopped. “Let me see the bottom of your foot.”

“It really is nothing,” I said, continuing to walk.

He studied me momentarily as I attempted to pick up my pace and caught the large wince I made when I stepped on another rock.

“Feet. Now.” He pointed at the ground.

Feeling incredibly embarrassed, I sat down on the ground so he could see the bottoms of my feet. I grimaced as he scrutinized them, noting all the dried blood and even some fresh blood from where I’d reopened cuts as we walked. Fenrik furrowed his brow and stood.

“I’m going to carry you,” he stated, not asked.

“No, no. I don’t want you to carry me. I can walk.” I stood and brushed myself off. It was one thing to start to trust Fenrik, but I didn’t know if I could bear to have to wrap my body around his in the way necessary for me to be carried. I wasn’t ready to be touched by a man like that. Not after Gabe. Not that I ever put up a fight with him, but it wasn’t ever really my choice. Just doing my wifely duties.

“I don’t think I can handle you touching me,” I said, chewing on my lower lip.

“Because of your mate?” He caught on immediately.

“Yeah, I really don’t like being touched unless I initiate it. It makes my skin crawl.”

“Your skin does what?” he asked, looking alarmed.

“Ha, it’s slang. It means it makes me feel really uncomfortable.” I laughed and wondered what other Americanisms Fenrik had never heard.

But he continued to look very serious. “We need to get home and get home now. What if I wrap you in my cloak so my skin isn’t actually touching yours?”

I had already caused this poor orc so many problems, and here he was, trying to work with me instead of just throwing up his hands and leaving me to die in the wilderness. I felt terrible.

“Okay, you can carry me in your cloak. Will you be warm enough though?” I asked as the sun continued to sink in the sky.

“Já, as long as we get on our way. I don’t want to get caught out here when the predators start to come out for the night.” He unhooked his cloak and handed it to me.

I wrapped it around me like a giant towel. Fenrik approached me slowly and scooped me up, carefully placing one hand on my back and the other under my knees, as if he could tell these were the safest places to touch. I clutched my arms to my chest, trying to settle.

“Is this okay?” he asked, as he pulled me against his body, preparing to walk.

I nodded. He was very tall and very warm. But I felt okay. I felt safe.

“Then let’s be off. You managed to cover a great distance with your tiny injured feet.” He started at a brisk pace, jostling me so I had to lean into his chest.

I felt something shift. Something small and fragile, but a tiny flame inside me dared to hope that I might let my walls down with this giant, kind-eyed orc.