Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
MEREDITH
T he memories came in flashes, violent and disjointed. My father's face contorted in rage, his breath reeking of vodka, his poison of choice. Grayson's knuckles, split and bloody, trembling as he reached for me – but why? What had happened to make my strong, composed brother shake like that? And Leo's voice, deeper than I remembered, filled with emotion as he promised "Never again."
Never again what?
I woke with a strangled cry, cold sweat coating my skin as panic clawed its way up my throat. My chest constricted, each breath becoming harder than the last, but Leo was there. He'd stayed, his strong arms still around me, drawing me closer against his chest until I could feel his heart beating steady and strong.
"You're safe now," he whispered into my hair, his lips brushing my temple.
The words hit me deep, triggering another flash of memory – those same words, spoken in our old house's bathroom. I was seventeen, huddled in the corner, and Leo was there, blood on his shirt, saying those exact words. But why? What had happened that night? The night before my father's accident?
Why did Gray always change the subject when I brought it up?
"Breathe with me," Leo's voice pulled me back to the present, his hand splayed across my back. "Match my breathing. That's it. What was the nightmare about?"
I drew in a shaky breath, letting his steady heartbeat ground me. His chest was warm against my cheek, and I pressed closer, seeking comfort in his embrace. "My father. And you and Gray. But it's all mixed up, fragmented. I can't quite figure it out." I closed my eyes, trying to piece it all together, but the pieces refused to fit, like there were sections missing. Area's blotted out, as if my mind refused to draw them forth.
"Do you have these often?" His fingers traced soothing patterns on my back, but there was tension in his voice.
"They've been flaring up recently." I pressed closer to his warmth, trying to chase away the chill of the memories. "Since Logan..."
"When did they start again?" Something in his tone made me look up. His face was carefully blank, but his eyes held something that made my breath catch. Something he knew, something he wasn't sharing.
"The past few nights. After finding him with her." My voice cracked on the last word. "It's like... like that betrayal opened something up. Some door I didn't know was closed."
Leo went very still, but his arms tightened around me protectively.
"Did something happen, Leo? You know something, don't you?" I pulled back, searching those icy eyes. What was he hiding? "Are you protecting me? I can handle it, Leo, please…"
I knew who he was, deep down. And I knew something had happened, something big, something that had been bad.
Before he could respond, a knock at the door made us both tense.
"Mer?" Grayson's voice carried through the wood. "You okay? I heard?—"
The door opened before either of us could react. My brother stood frozen in the doorway, taking in the scene before him – me in nothing but a robe, clearly disheveled, wrapped in his best friend's arms.
The look that crossed his face wasn't just suspicion.
It was recognition of his worst fear coming true.
Fuck.
"What the hell is going on here?" Grayson's voice was deadly quiet, and my heart tightened, fear snaking through me at the look in his eyes, his gaze now focused solely on Leo.
He was not happy. Not at all.
"I had a nightmare," I said quickly, but even to my own ears the excuse sounded weak. "Leo was just?—"
"A nightmare?" Gray's eyes narrowed. "Really?"
"Gray, it's fine?—"
"Fine?" He barked out a harsh laugh. "Is that what you're going with? Nothing happened here? You really expect me to believe you just had a nightmare and Leo, what, decided to comfort you while you're wearing a robe with shower-wet hair?"
I fell silent, the excuse dying on my lips. How could I deny what was so obviously written all over us? The way Leo held me, protective even now. The intimacy that lingered in the air between us. Sure, maybe if Leo hadn't been holding me the way he was, but I couldn't hide my guilt. I'd never been a good actress, it was one of my flaws. I couldn't lie to save myself, I was a terrible liar.
Leo released me, and I moved carefully to sit on the edge of the bed, making sure my robe remained around me while Leo stood.
"There's no point lying about it," Leo said, his voice steady despite the tension radiating from him as Gray stepped into the room. "Something happened, Gray."
Gray moved to stand before him, holding his gaze steady as my heart hammered.
What was he going to ? —
The crack of Grayson's fist connecting with Leo's nose echoed through the room. "Figlio di puttana!"
"Gray!" I launched to my feet, but he was already taking a step back, his fist at his side.
I looked to Leo, my stomach knotting. Blood trickled down his face as he straightened, but he made no move to retaliate. He simply wiped the blood with the back of his hand, his expression resigned.
"Maybe I should go," he said quietly. "Give you two space to talk."
"Really?" Grayson's laugh was bitter. "You're just going to walk out on the mess you just made? This can't be anything, Leo. It can't."
"Why not?" I demanded, finding my voice again as I snapped my gaze to him. "Because he's your best friend and I'm your sister?"
Why was that always an issue? Was it because if anything happened and we broke up, he'd be torn on loyalties?
Why was I even thinking we could be together?
Grayson's glare could have frozen hell itself as he looked at Leo. "It's more than that." He ran a hand through his hair before he shook his head, frustration evident in every movement. "Why? Why would you do this?" He looked so torn, so confused, all sorts of emotions flashing in his eyes.
Leo stood there, blood still dripping from his nose, looking more lost than I'd ever seen him. His silence felt like a knife in my chest. Was he regretting it? Regretting me?
The way he wouldn't meet my eyes made my stomach drop. Everything we'd shared – the passion, the tenderness, the way he'd held me like I was precious – had it meant nothing?
"I want to go," I whispered, needing to escape the suffocating tension.
As I moved toward the door, Leo finally looked at me, and the conflict in his eyes made my heart ache.
What had we done?
"I don't want to be around either of you right now." Emotions welled in my throat as I looked between them, pausing for a moment. I wasn't sure why I didn't just walk out of there. But maybe I was hoping, somehow, they'd fix this right now.
The hurt that flashed across both their faces should have given me satisfaction, but it only made the ache in my chest worse.
"Mer..." Leo started, taking a step toward me, but seemed to think better of it, falling silent as Gray moved between us.
"You need to stay here," Gray insisted. "It's not safe?—"
My phone lit up on the bedside, and I turned and took the few steps to it. Sofia's face filled the screen, and relief swept over me. The timing couldn't have been better. "Sof?"
"What the hell is going on?" Her voice was tight with worry. "I just finished my shift and saw your text about a shooting? Are you okay? What the fuck is happening?!"
"I'll explain everything in person," I said, turning away from the men's protests. "Can you pick me up? I need..." My voice cracked. "I need to be anywhere but here."
"Of course, honey. Text me the address?—"
"Absolutely not," Gray cut in, having moved closer to hear the conversation. "It's not safe out there right now."
"Really? Because I was so safe with you two?!" I spat back, and he had the nerve to look taken aback.
Safe from what, anyway?
Leo stepped forward, blood still staining his chin. "If anything, Roman can follow her. Keep an eye on her."
"Oh, so I need a babysitter now?!" I turned on him, and he frowned only slightly at my outburst.
"We need you safe," he stated, and the words oddly softened me.
I still rolled my eyes before looking to Gray, who looked annoyed, as if he didn't want to agree to anything Leo suggested right now. But despite his anger, he sighed, finally giving a sharp nod. "Fine."
Leo nodded, moving to lean on the wall as he pulled out his phone. Texting Roman his new orders most likely.
I looked down at the robe I was wearing, suddenly aware I had nothing else to put on. My dress and undergarments from yesterday were in the bathroom still, and I didn't really want to put my underwear back on since Leo had made a mess of them. Maybe I could just pull the bra and dress back on…
"I need to change," I muttered, more to myself than them.
"Mer?" Sofia's voice came through the phone. "You still there?"
"Yeah, I just..." I swallowed hard. "I'll text you the address. I just need to get dressed." I pulled the phone away to shoot through the address before holding it back to my ear.
"Of course, I'm heading from work anyway, so it'll take me about 40 minutes to get you at this building. Where even is this place? Whose is it?" Sofia asked, and I knew she'd checked the address in her gps already.
"It's a safe-house, I dunno whose it is," I answered honestly, looking between the two men. Neither of them clarified it for me. Go figure.
"Okay, I'm headed your way, I'll be there soon." With that, Sofia hung up, and I found my gaze meeting Leo's.
The look on his face was devastating – a mixture of regret and something else, something that made my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.
I couldn't deal with any of this right now. Couldn't process the way my body still hummed from his touch, or how Gray looked at us like we'd committed some terrible crime, or why everyone seemed to know something I didn't.
I just needed to escape. Figure all of this, sort out my feelings. So much had happened, I just needed to be somewhere I felt safe and like myself. Although even Sofia felt different, like she knew things as well. But out of the two places I could go, since home was out of the question, she was my better option. And the one more likely to tell me what I wanted to know, if she knew anything. Sure, Leo had told me things, but it was clear he was hiding something big from me. He and Grayson.
"I've got some spare clothes you can use," Gray said, his voice gentler now. "At least until you get to Sofia's."
Leo pushed off from the wall, leaving the room without a word. The silence he left behind felt heavy, and my heart broke at his departure.
Gray sighed as he studied me sadly. "We'll talk about this another time, Mer. Right now, I need to have a discussion with Leo. Maybe staying with Sofia is best for now."
"Please don't beat each other to a pulp," I said quietly as I rubbed my arm, feeling rather chilly with only the plush robe.
A small smile tugged at his lips. "No guarantees." But there was something shadowed in his eyes, something that made my stomach twist.
"Is it really such a bad thing?" I asked, hating how small my voice sounded.
Gray's expression softened, but his eyes remained troubled. "I love Leo. He's family – a brother to me. But this..." He shook his head. "This can't be."
"Why not?" I stepped toward him. "Gray, I'm not a child anymore. I can make my own?—"
"Not now, Meredith." His tone was firm, and I pursed my lips. "Go be with Sofia while we figure this out."
"Fine. Whatever." I knew there was no point arguing. He was as stubborn as they came. It was both his blessing and his curse.
He disappeared into his room, returning with a bundle of clothes – sweats and a t-shirt of his. Did he have an emergency bag here or something? Was this his safe-house?
"This safe-house, whose is it? Why are there even safe-houses?" I asked as he handed me the clothes.
"Mer, not now. Please," Gray said as he turned away.
Right, because leaving me in the dark was his favorite thing to do lately.
I knew what Leo had done to Logan, what he was capable of. But then the pair of them, with guns, looking like it was something they'd endured before. I really had no idea who they were. What they were capable of.
What they'd done.
I watched Gray leave the room, my heart sinking.
And I'd just slept with Leo. A man who had made it clear he'd done things for me, that'd he'd protect me.
One who was called a monster.
He really thought I’d think he was a monster? Why? Because he beat Logan? No, I knew there was more there. Things they were hiding.
Bad things involving gunfights and blood. I couldn’t turn a blind eye to it even if I didn’t want to believe it.
Maybe Sofia could help me get to the bottom of it.
When I emerged from the bedroom, dressed in clothes that smelled like my brother's rather expensive laundry detergent, I found Leo in the kitchen, nursing a drink. Gray stood by the window, arms crossed, staring out at the city like it held answers to questions I didn't even know to ask.
I wanted to say something – to both of them – but the words wouldn't come. This wasn't the time. They needed space, needed to work through whatever was happening between them.
And I needed to figure out who the hell they truly were. Because something about their stories was off, and the way Leo spoke… I needed to figure this all out.
Leo's eyes met mine, intense and unreadable. He didn't speak, but his gaze said everything his silence couldn't. Regret, desire, conflict – it was all there, burning in those icy blue depths.
Roman was waiting by his car when I made it downstairs, his usual stoic expression in place. "How far out is Ms. Savoca?"
I checked my phone. "About fifteen minutes."
"There's a coffee shop next door – open twenty-four hours. We can wait there if you'd like. My treat."
The offer surprised me. Roman had always been professional, distant. But right now, his gentle suggestion felt like a lifeline.
"Thanks."
“Don’t mention it. This arrived for you too. Leo asked me to give it to you.” He opened up the back door of his car and offered me a package. “Bit heavy, best to open it here and leave it in the car.”
I frowned as I accepted it, the weight catching me off-guard.
“They do deliveries in the middle of the night?” I asked, and Roman just smiled.
Right, they did if enough money was offered, which Leo had no problem with.
I opened up the unmarked package and took a moment to realize what it was as I read the note inside.
Thought it might help. - L
I softened, a small smile touching my lips.
Why was he like this? Why did he have to mess with my emotions, make me feel these things?
I touched the plush weighted blanket, a deep purple color. My favorite color. Was that just coincidence?
I highly doubted it.
“I take it you like it?” Roman noted, and I nodded. I closed the package and popped it back into the back seat.
“Good, now, let’s grab a coffee.” I fell into step beside him as we headed into the shop. "Can I ask you something?"
He held the door open for me. "About Leo?"
"What's his deal? Why did we get shot at tonight? Is this really all about a bad business dealing?" The questions tumbled out before I could stop them.
Roman was quiet as we got in line, considering his words carefully. "Some answers aren't mine to give. But I will say this – Leo Donati is a complicated man, with complicated responsibilities. And everything he does, he does for a reason."
Right. Why had I thought Roman would shed any light on this situation? But at least I could take some comfort in his presence.
Not that it was normal.
What kind of person needed a security guard twenty-four seven? Sure, Leo was well off, and I'd always assumed it to be because of that, but now…
Now I had a feeling there was a whole lot more.