6. Kai
I could feel her stare the entire time coach was talking. He was mainly telling Stewart to get it together and Jennings to stop being a dumbass. He is, though. He’s a good rider, but sometimes I wish I could drive him off the track. He almost caused wrecks from being impatient. This sport is a long haul combined with strategy on top of its exhausting nature. The trails are a mile or longer, with fifteen to twenty jumps and obstacles. If your head isn’t on straight, you lose, crash, or die. I’m only here to win.
While we were getting lined up at the gates, I straddled my bike and stared at her in her jean shorts, cowboy boots that reach mid-calf, and tank top tucked in around her curvy hips. She stands on the hill with the bill of her baseball hat shielding her face. Part of me wants to tell her I was torturing a man for information because he attacked my mother. I won’t, but sometimes the burden is too much to bear.
I shake my head at the thoughts and focus on the race at hand. We need to take all four top positions, which will set us up for the World Championship.
I’m nervous about the next freestyle competition. I don’t feel ready and need to keep practicing. Someone gestures for us to get ready, and I take a deep breath, focusing on the dirt in front of me, tracking my line, and then glancing to my left and right. I will be first. Everyone likes to win, but for me, it’s almost like a compulsion. I have to win. If not, it’ll feel like I’ve failed more than losing a race. So, I do everything in my power to never let that happen. It’s part of the reason I’ve been the only stationary rider. Other guys have come and gone after winning, but I’ve always been here with Reece.
Rafe holds out his fist, and I tap it. Jennings does the same. It’s part of our ritual. The beep sounds, and then the gates drop. I gun it and track my predetermined line in my head, shooting ahead of the others. Now it’s just me and the dirt.
***
The finish line is in sight and I lean in, rocketing for it, spotting the checkered flag. I can sense other riders behind me. I tracked the team for most of the ride, but towards the end, the finish line becomes the only focus.
It comes up on me, and I cross it, slowing down and skidding to a stop. I spin to face the scoreboard, knowing I was first. We scored in the top three places, but Deacon Jennings fell back and scored fifth. We can work with that, though.
Everyone high fives, and we ride our bikes off the course to our main meeting area, where all of our tools and stands are. I kick my stand and pull off my helmet, shaking my hair out like a wet dog as sweat pours down my body. Cordelia tosses everyone a sports drink and stops at Jennings.
She levels him with a stare before handing it to me instead. “Get your head out of your ass, Jennings. You tried to cut number fifty-two off too early on a curve. You could have caught him on the dragon’s back,” she says, referring to the large hill that’s typically jumped on the track. Cordi has always been around the guys during race days to cut the shit, but also she knows what she’s talking about. She was raised around this. Her dad was one of the best in the world back in the day.
“She’s right, Jennings,” Reece grumbles.
He tosses his helmet and steps up to Cordelia. She holds her ground, looking up at him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this girl was our coach, Reece? I’m not here to be criticized by the coach’s daughter. Maybe she should know her place, and—“ I’m off my bike and standing between them before he can get another word out. My hand wraps around his windpipe, and I squeeze. His eyes widen, and I look him right in his muddy pools. He grasps at my hand, but I hardly register it.
“If you ever speak to her like that again, I will bury you under the dragon’s back and ride over you without a second thought. Do you understand me?”
He gasps, and I squeeze harder.
“Kai,” Cordelia says. I lift my other hand, holding her back behind me.
“I said, do you understand me, Deacon?” I ask with a cold voice. He nods again, and I release him. Deacon sputters, trying to catch his breath, and looks between me, coach, and the team. No one says another word.
I turn with my back to Deacon and face Cordelia. Her eyes are wide and a little glassy. “Are you alright?” I ask her. She bites her lower lip and blinks the tears away.
“Yes,” she says with a raspy voice. She takes a step back and glances at Reece. Coach nods to me with serious eyes. Cordelia spins on her heel and walks away from the group. I grab my drink and chug it. Reece explains what could have been done better. He lays Jennings out extra and then sends us all to our trailers. I wanted to get a shower and then work on my bike, but I would only burst into flames again because it’s so hot. So I stay put and fix my rear brake disk that got a little loose.
I grab a different wrench from my toolbox and lean over, fitting it onto the bolt as shoes crunch on the gravel. I look up to find Reece standing with his hat still shading his face.
“Thank you,” he says.
Standing to my full height, I toss my wrench on the top. “For what, coach?”
“If you didn’t do something, I would have socked him myself or worse. So, thank you for standing up for Cordi. She’s embarrassed right now, but I won’t tolerate anyone speaking to my daughter that way.”
“And neither will I.”
He grunts in agreement and walks around my bike, putting my wrench in the correct place. “We need to be on the road by six tomorrow morning, or we can leave tonight. What do you think?”
We might as well get to the freestyle competition. It will give us more time to prep. “Let’s get everyone packed up and head out within the next couple of hours. What’s the point of waiting around?”
“I agree. I’ll go let the guys know.” He turns and starts to walk away. I hesitate, but my mouth opens before I can shut it.
“Hey, coach?” I call. He turns and takes a step back under our team’s tent. “If he touched her, I would have killed him.”
“I would have helped you bury the body, Kai,” he says and walks away.
Cordelia is my best friend, she’s really my only friend, aside from my brothers. She’s the only one who has paid attention to me and couldn’t care less what my last name is. When we were younger, she figured it out but didn’t ask me much about it. Probably because I shut her down a few times too many. I don’t want to talk about it because I have to deal with it every day. My last name is a blessing and a curse. It protects me in some ways because it makes my family and me harder to get to. Our success placates my father because it makes him look good. But it also puts a target on our backs to his enemies. So I will be damned if I drag Cordi any closer to me because I would obliterate anything in my path if something happened to her. I would not rest until every person associated or otherwise was in the ground. She may not be blood, but she and coach are my family.
***
Our five-trailer caravan heads up to Nevada, where the freestyle competition is happening. Freestyle is different by nature because it relies on technique with speed. It’s all about the trick, the style, and the difficulty. It’s one of my favorite parts of motocross. Letting go of the handlebars and fly in the air as gravity takes over is an indescribable feeling. It’s like jumping out of a plane with no parachute, and it all happens in a breath. I haven’t experienced anything better.
The sun has long set, and it’s just me in the truck. I prefer the quiet, the solitude. I’d rather have it on a bike because I prefer being outside than in a vehicle for this long, but I deal. Once we get there and get settled, I’ll get my R7 out and take off for a couple of hours. I get restless and the only way for me to work through everything is to ride it out.
My phone rings through the sound system, and I hit the button to answer. “Hey, Liam. How is she?”
“Hey, brother. Mom’s good, honestly. I don’t think she was all that bothered. It was more us.”
Anger surges in my chest, and I take a deep breath. She should be concerned about what’s going on. She is clearly being watched, and I can’t shake the feeling this is just the beginning. There is something else coming, and I hate that I’m not there to be prepared for every eventuality. Liam would never let something happen to Mom, but there is safety in numbers. Emerson is only twenty minutes away. He could be there quickly. Regardless, it would take me a few hours, even if I flew to get back home to California.
“She should be bothered, or maybe we should just move her,” I suggest.
“You and I know she isn’t going to move if she doesn’t want to.” Liam sighs. We’re both quiet for a moment.
“Does she know what we did?” I ask him. Guilt churns in my stomach. We don’t tell Mom how we get information. She did put in the time and money to train us, knowing what we are up against, but I can’t help but think about the nature versus nurture argument. Part of me feels like my brothers, and I had to become this because we had no choice. Our father put us in the position to have to either learn how to fight back or die trying. We may still die trying to protect each other, but at least we know what we’re doing now. The other part of my conscience says, since we are choosing to do this our way, there are always consequences to our actions. We will pay the price one day, but what would you do to protect your family? There are no lines, as far as I’m concerned.
“She’s not an idiot, Two. You know she is well aware and just doesn’t want to ask questions, and she knows I won’t answer them,” Liam says.
We’ve called each other One, Two, and Three since we were young. I consider them our alter egos of sorts. We have to become One, Two, and Three to do what we do. It’s wise to keep her out of the loop on things like that. “Where are you at now?” he asks.
“On the way to Nevada. We’ve got a freestyle comp.”
“Ahh, man. I love watching you. I wish I could come.”
“You’re still not tired of watching me do handstands on a bike?” I ask him.
He chuckles. “Nah, brother, I’m not. I loved watching you when we were kids.” I smile to myself. We’ve always rooted for each other. Once we realized we could go pro, we never looked back. Our family is each other’s biggest fans. “How is Cordi?” he asks.
“Oh, she’s fine.”
“When will you guys finally give in to each other? I see pictures on socials, and it’s getting sickening at this point, Kai. What are you waiting for?” Liam asks.
Guilt and fear add to the souring of my stomach. He knows why. The one-night stands don’t do it for me. The last thing I want is for Cordi to see me tell some random woman bye in the morning. I can’t bring myself to do it. “You know why, Three. I don’t know why you keep asking me. I wish you were more careful.”
He guffaws. “I’ve got it under control, Kai. Keep it simple and upfront. It’s easy.”
“You’re going to slip one day, Liam. It’s only a matter of time. Then you aren’t going to know what to do. The last thing we need is some random woman being pulled into the shit storm that is our lives. No one deserves that.”
“You’re right. And exactly why I use fake names or disappear before she has a chance to get too attached,” Liam says confidently.
“You’re an ass,” I grumble.
“At least I’m getting some,” he quips.
“Liam,” I bark.
“Oh, calm down. You know I’m not actually like that. I’m a lady’s man, brother. What can I say? I treat ’em well and leave ’em satisfied.”
“Just please be careful.”
“Yes, sir,” he says sarcastically. “I mean it, though, Kai. If anyone is worth taking the risk for, you know it’s Cordelia. She’s the full package, dude.”
I stare at the trailer ahead of me; it’s coach and gem. He’s right—she is worth risking it all for. “That would mean she has to risk it all and that’s not fair, Liam, it’s just not.”
“Fair enough, man. Well, I just wanted to check in with you. Emerson is quiet and grumpy as usual, but he said it’s clear over there, nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Good,” I grunt.
“Hey, Liam?”
“Yeah?”
“This all feels too easy. Is it just me? I haven’t been able to shake it off. It just…doesn’t add up. I feel like they are toying with us,” I trail off.
He sighs and I can hear him tap the counter, his nervous tell. “Let me talk to some of my contacts over in DC. I might be able to figure out if daddy dearest is up to something or if he’s talking to anyone we need to be concerned about.”
“We have every reason to be concerned about the Costa mob. They have a hold on our father, therefore us,” I snap.
“Kai, I get it. You don’t have to remind me.”
I take a deep breath, staring out at the dark night in front of me. On either side of the road, it’s just black. You can’t see for miles on the long stretches of roads between states.
“Okay, well, let me know if you find something.”
“Will do. Talk soon,” Liam says and hangs up. The silence returns, and I glance at the GPS. We’re getting close, but not fast enough. The nervous, paranoid energy is building in my body. I just want to be ready because I don’t like being kept in the dark.