Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

21. Cordelia

Kai’s large, warm hand rubs my back, waking me up from a deep, dreamless sleep. I groan and roll over to find him already dressed and looking at me with excitement in his eyes. “Why are you waking me up?” I grumble and close my eyes again. He chuckles and rubs the corner of my mouth, where I’m pretty sure drool was a minute ago.

“You’re so cranky in the morning,” he says. I open my eyes to glare at him, but he smiles at me.

“What time is it?” I ask.

“Almost six.”

“Now you’re pissing me off.” He chuckles, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. He’s always so gentle with me. Even though most of the time, I just want him to throw me around a little. I sigh and rub my stomach. We can’t do that now, but … I blink and look up at him. “Why are you waking me up before six in the morning?”

“I want to take you on a ride,” he says.

“Kai,” I groan.

His dark chuckle sends goosebumps over my arms.

“Say my name like that again, gem, and this will turn into a very different morning.”

I perk up at that and sit up on my elbows. He raises his eyebrows and smiles devilishly. “Don’t start with me, Kai. You know I—“

He stops my words with another kiss and pulls back slightly. “Get on a pair of jeans and a shirt, and meet me outside in five,” he commands. He then stands and leaves the trailer.

“I guess it’s time to get up,” I mumble to myself.

After I get dressed as Kai specified, I find him a few feet away from the door, leaning against his bike with his arms crossed. I wish I could snap a picture of that because I could stare at him like this forever. I rub my stomach mindlessly. I’m a little bigger now, and getting on this bike makes me even more nervous but also excited.

“We’re just going a block or two, I promise,” he says, holding out the helmet to pull it over my head. He buckles the chin strap, then does his own.

We get on the bike, and I hold on to him as tightly as I can. He drives us a few blocks down the dark street to an entrance to the beach.

Kai helps me off the bike but touches my stomach for a moment before he lets go and leads us down the beach. Candles and a blanket are laid out on the empty shore. My heart thumps in my chest while butterflies riot in my stomach. I look out over the water as the sky comes to life with a light purple coloring, and the beautiful ocean breeze fills my lungs.

“What is this?” I ask him. His hand squeezes mine as he reaches for the other, helping me to sit down. I’m not so big that I can’t sit on my own, but I like how he’s always wanting to help or touch me. When you go from pining for each other for over a decade and then suddenly allowed to touch each other, it becomes a craving, an addiction. I don’t think we will be able to get enough until we finally give in to the sexual tension accelerating between us. I’m just waiting for him at this point. There’s a reason he’s waiting, though. I figured out last night that I need to trust that he has his reasons. Kai Coldwell does very few things without reason.

He lays down next to me, leaning on his side with his elbow propping him up.

“The sun is coming up,” I say, lifting my chin toward the ocean. The dark blue waves are starting to lighten with the reflection of the sun. He nods and keeps staring at me. “You didn’t answer my question,” I rasp.

He grins, looking up at me. I lay back, and his other hand palms my cheek and traces my lips with his thumb. “You are so beautiful,” he says. I swear my chest got tighter as the speed of my heart increases.

My hands go to my stomach, and I rub it nervously. I’ve caught myself doing that more and more. It soothes me, and I think it may calm the baby, too. “When did you do all of this?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep.” That makes me frown because he really needed a good night’s sleep. We lay there for a minute before he says, “So, I want to be completely honest with you. For years, you’ve asked me questions I could never answer. Not to be dramatic, but there was a reason for that. Most of it was safety.”

“That’s not unnerving at all,” I mumble.

“I’ll tell you everything, and I will answer all of your questions. In the end, I’ll understand if you don’t want to marry me. But you have to keep this to yourself, regardless. That’s not even because of me, it’s because having knowledge of this information potentially puts you in danger. But I promise to protect you at all costs.”

“Kai—“ I interrupt him.

He holds up his hand. “No, listen, I love you, so you deserve to—“

I cut him off, putting my hand over his mouth. “Ask me,” I tell him. He rolls his lips together and sits up, leaning his forearms on his knees as he looks out over the ocean. My heart belongs to him, and it has for a long time now. I think our hearts become transparent glass houses when love is the only thing that can save you because you’re exposed and vulnerable. There’s nothing left to do except give it to them and hope they don’t drop it. I know mine is safe with Kai because he will always hold it close. I scoot closer to him and rest my chin on his shoulder. “Ask me,” I whisper.

“But gem…” he sighs. “Is that really what you want? I want you to know before I do,” he says.

“Yes,” I say, my throat thick with emotion. The sun has made it halfway up the horizon. Kai wanted to give me the full picture, present all the options, and then let me decide. I love him for that, but I made my decision. If he was a drug dealer, I wouldn’t care. I don’t know what that says about me, but I also don’t care. He’s not, but the point remains. Love doesn’t tend to care about your occupation, it’s beyond that.

He hesitates, so I speak up. “Kai, I’m not an idiot.” He looks at me with a conflicted expression. “I know who your father is, and there are rumors about him. That’s about it, and clearly, there is more to the story. But here is the thing: I don’t care. I love you. None of this happened the way we thought it should, and for some reason, other than simply being my friend, you decided to be more than I could ask for, more than I deserved. Yet here you are. You are a better man than you give yourself credit for, and there is no doubt in my mind that you will care for me and this baby as if they are your own. I don’t doubt you for a second, so you shouldn’t doubt me when I tell you I’m all in. So ask me.”

He blinks a few times, and the golden light shines on his face, making him look almost supernatural in his beauty. His amber eyes glow, and my heart skips a few beats. Kai gets to his feet and then holds his hand out to help me up. I stand there waiting for his next move until he slides his hand in his pocket and kneels in front of me. I never thought I would see this picture of a man who is larger than life to me, who loves me, on his knee for me.

“Cordelia Quinn, you are my best friend, and I have loved you from afar for far too long. Your gentleness and your kindness speak volumes, but your loyalty to a man like me is undeserved. I don’t know why God put you in my life because I have done absolutely nothing to deserve you, but I will do every single thing I possibly can to earn you and this baby. I was never trying to save you, gem; you saved me. Will you be my wife?” he asks.

Tears stream down my face, and I don’t wipe them away. I let them drop from my chin as I nod at him. I hold my hand up and say, “It would be my honor to be yours, Kai Coldwell.”

He opens the little blue velvet box, making me gasp. A diamond unlike any I have ever seen sparkles in the sunrise’s light. The giant, blue stone in the center is surrounded by small diamonds and lines the band halfway around. He takes the ring out of the box and slides it over my finger.

“This was my Mom’s. I saw her wear it when I was a kid, and the blue diamond reminded me of your eyes. It felt like it was meant for you.”

“It’s too much, Kai. I can’t take your mom’s ring,” I say over the tears.

He shakes his head, grinning, and his eyes shine with unshed tears. “Cordelia, you are far more precious than any jewel on this earth. Yes, you can take it because it was waiting for you,” he says.

I turn my hand back and forth, utterly flabbergasted by this ring. “I’ve never heard of a blue diamond before.”

“They are incredibly rare. This one came from my mom’s side of the family and has stayed with all the Astor women, and now you,” he says and takes my hand with the ring on it. He lifts it to his lips and presses them on the ring and my finger. “I love you,” he says, swiping the tears from my cheeks.

I throw myself against him and smash my lips to his so hard our teeth clack. He grabs at my lower back and cradles my neck with his other hand. My heart bursts, and I lose myself in him. His tongue swipes against mine as I melt into his hold.

Our lips part slightly, and he leans his forehead against mine. “I need to tell you a lot of things, but…” he trails off and kisses me again. “I want us to stay in this moment for just a bit longer.”

I nod against him, and he leans in to ravish me with his mouth. He feels like mine.

He lays me back on the blanket in the sand, and my heart feels like it’s about to burst with happiness. We finally made it. Change is on the horizon, but together, I know we can handle it because we have each other.