Fighting For Light: A Dark Sports Romance (The Coldwell Brothers)

27. Cordelia

We end up going back to Kai’s trailer. It feels different; everything has changed between us, and more change is on the way. Esmarie steps into his trailer, which I should have cleaned before we left. I grab some of his shirts and mine off the floor, kicking our shoes off to the side.

She walks to the couch and primly sits on the edge, crossing her ankles and tucking them to the side. Esmarie looks totally out of place as she sits on Kai’s RV couch.

Kai drops into one of the other seats, but my anxiousness is making me entirely too antsy to be able to sit. I nervously rub my stomach, pacing back and forth. Kai glances at Esmarie and frowns before turning his attention to me. “So, they know about Cordelia,” he says, glancing at his mom.

My stomach drops, and I don’t know what to say. My hands shake on my stomach, and tears brim in my eyes. “What does that mean, Kai?” I ask him, my voice stronger than I feel. He stands and gathers me into his arms.

“It means that I’ve got you, just like I said, baby. It means we really have to speed up the timeline.”

I take a deep breath and nod against him. Marrying Kai is not my problem. The speed of everything is.

Esmarie takes a deep breath and looks between us before saying, “We need to take you off the chessboard.”

Kai’s worried expression makes me nervous. I was already thinking this would happen quickly. Now, it really looks like a shotgun wedding, but no time like the present, I guess. “Alright then, let’s do this,” I say, looking up at him.

“I don’t want you to make this choice with a veritable gun to your head. If you want to wait, then I don’t care about what anyone else says. This is between you and me. If you want to wait, then we wait,” he says.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach, and I don’t think that’s how I should be responding, but it is.

“It would be wise, though, Cordelia. If you are officially Kai’s, it would solidify you as a Coldwell and give us more time. We can plan for a big wedding later for appearances,” Esmarie says.

I want to ask what she means by more time, but I think it probably has something to do with Kai and his brothers.

“I never wanted a long engagement anyway,” I say, smiling up at him. He dips his head and kisses me with so much longing and love my knees go weak. His arms remain around me, holding me up.

“I love you, gem,” he says.

“I love you, too, daredevil.”

“Great,” Esmarie says, standing. “It might be fast, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful. I will get everything ready, but I will need you to help me with a few things, Cordelia.”

“We have a competition three days away in Louisiana, Mom,” Kai says.

Esmarie almost glares at her son, and I lift my shoulder.

“It’s okay, Esmarie. It’s not like we had started talking about dates. If anything, we would have done it after his season. It’s not his fault.”

“Very well, then,” she sighs. He looks at Esmarie with his arms still around me. I nuzzle my face in Kai’s chest and breathe him in. “We have a wedding to plan. You need to find a dress and approve the flowers. I will take care of the rest.”

“Oh, Esmarie, let me help more, please,” I tell her. It may not be the wedding of my dreams, but I would like to at least pick out my own flowers.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll call you, but first you need a dress. I will text you some stores in the area for you to look at. I’ll let you know which one to meet me at.”

“But I don’t have savings for it—“

“No, no, darling. Kai will take care of it,” Esmarie says.

Kai chuckles and slides his hand into his pocket, fishing out his wallet.

“I will be in touch,” she says, floating out the door.

He pulls a black card out and hands it to me. The weight of it surprises me as I flip it back and forth in my fingers. “Buy whatever you want.”

“Oh, okay.” Excitement thrums through me. This may not be so bad after all. Until tires screech in my head. “Kai, we need to talk to Dad.”

“No time like the present,” he says.

“Where do I even start? We haven’t told him about…”

He grabs my shoulders and angles down to look me in the eye. “Gem, I’ve got you. We’ve got this. I know you want to be honest with him, and that’s good, but the fewer people who know about my father and his associates, the better. He’s safer that way. Okay?”

“Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I’ll just tell him about the baby and that we’re getting married tomorrow. No big deal,” I squeak out.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asks.

I try to calm my racing heart. Stress isn’t good for the baby.

“Yes, but I’ll do the talking, okay?”

“You got it, babe,” he says, gesturing for the door.

We walk the ten feet to Dad’s trailer. I take deep, measured breaths. Surprisingly, this is not the scariest thing I’ve had to handle today.

The bright sun feels like it’s baking my skin before I walk under the awning.

“Are you good? We don’t have to stay at the penthouse if you would rather be here. It’s up to you.”

“No, I like the bathtub. I think we should keep it.” He chuckles and reaches around me, knocking on the door before opening it. I climb the stairs, and Dad is sitting on the couch watching TV.

“What are you two doing here?”

I smile and sit next to him while Kai pulls up a seat from the table. “Hey, Dad, I’ve missed you.” I lean over to hug him, and I feel him kiss the top of my head.

“What are you up to, Cordi?” he asks, looking between Kai and me. Kai leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs.

“Dad, I need to tell you a couple of things.”

He sits up and grabs my hand. “Are you okay? Do you need help?” he asks.

I shake my head and squeeze his hand. “Dad, first, I want you to understand that I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t know how, and I was scared out of my mind, and then Kai… well, he stepped up for me.” His expression deepens, and he glares at Kai. “Kai and I are getting married, but it’s not because I’m pregnant with his kid.”

“I’m sorry, what?” he says.

“This baby is not Kai’s.”

“Then whose the hell is it?” he yells. I wring my hands and glance at Kai. He nods encouragingly, and I take a deep breath.

“It’s Rafe’s,” I rasp.

“What?” he roars. I look at Kai again, and he starts to stand. I hold out my hand, keeping him there, and he stiffly leans back into the chair.

“Dad, he wants nothing to do with the baby. I’m going to get sole custody so he can’t ever come back into our lives.”

Dad starts pacing the small space, rubbing his chin. “So let me get this straight. You slept with that piece of crap Rafe Taylor, got pregnant, told him, and he said he didn’t want anything to do with you. So, instead of telling me this, Kai offers to marry you, and you keep it a secret?”

I wince at his tone. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

He sighs and drops down next to me. “Cordi, why do you feel like you couldn’t tell me? I love you, and I love my grandkid. We could have figured it out. Wait, does your mom know about any of this?” I shake my head. “Are you going to tell her?” he asks.

“Eventually…” I say hesitantly.

“Cordelia Quinn, you may not like your mother, but she deserves to know her daughter is having a baby and getting married.”

“I know, Dad, just not right now, okay?”

“Fine,” he grumbles.

I nervously twist my hands, knowing this is really going to set him off. My stomach churns, and I push the words out around the rocks in my throat. “There’s one more thing.”

“I can’t even begin to guess what is about to come out of your mouth.” He glances at Kai, then back to me.

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” I say quickly.

“Cordelia,…why are you getting married if he’s not the father? I understand you guys have a thing, but is this real, or is he giving you a good reason not to be a single mom?” I wince again.

“Alright, Reece, ease up. We are well aware this makes no sense to most. To us, it does. I want to marry your daughter because I love her, and I saw the fear in her eyes when you looked at her, and she knew she made a mistake. We came to this point in a roundabout way, but there is no doubt in my mind it would have happened eventually despite my best efforts to fight how I’ve felt about her for years. Baby or no baby. I saw my chance to help her, and I took it.”

“I should kick you off this damn team for doing this,” Dad snaps.

Kai holds up his hands in surrender. “You could, and I wouldn’t blame you. But I’m still going to marry her, Reece. We wanted you to know about the change, and we would like you there.”

“I really do, Dad,” I tell him.

“I don’t get it, Cordi, I really don’t,” he sighs.

“I know, Dad, and it’s…atypical, but he’s right. We would have gotten here regardless, and we’re going to be a family. That’s all that matters now. Yes, it’s a shock, but I hope you’ll be at the courthouse tomorrow. I’d really like for you to walk me down the aisle.”

I glance at Kai, and he’s beaming. I want to sit on his lap and show him how his unwavering support makes me feel.

I stand and grab Dad to hug him, and he hugs me back tightly. “I love you, Cordi. Of course, I’ll be there.”

My eyes well with tears, and I let him go, swiping away the few streaming down my face. “Thank you, Dad. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kai and I walk hand in hand back to his truck, and he takes me to the shop Esmarie texted us to meet her at.

I have a wedding dress to pick out.

***

“Are you sure you don’t want me to look around with you?” Kai asks. I shoot him a look and wiggle my finger at him.

“Of all the things we are doing untraditionally, Kai, let me have this one traditional thing where you don’t know what my dress looks like.”

“I don’t like surprises,” he grumbles, hopping out of the truck to open the door for me. He holds his hand out, and I take it, carefully stepping down from the truck. He looks up and down the streets and behind us again before walking me to the store Esmarie sent us to. There are beautiful dresses lining the window that look insanely expensive. There is beading, tulle, and silk draped across the mannequins. “You brought my card, right?” Kai asks. I nod while staring at the dresses.

He pulls the door open for me, letting me go in first. The store even smells expensive. “Oh, there you are,” Esmarie says, clicking up to me in her Louboutins. “Why are you here, Kai? You can leave now,” she says, waving him away. I try to swallow my smile while looking over my shoulder at Kai.

He makes a funny face at me and grabs my face, kissing me hard and fast. Right as I get into it, he pulls away. “Have fun, and Cordelia?” I hum. “Use the card. Whatever you want, no limit. Okay?”

“Okay,” I rasp. He winks and saunters back out the exit, dipping his head to the two bodyguards who appeared by the door.

Esmarie claps. “Everything is being organized and ready for tomorrow, but I have to admit this is my favorite part,” she says, floating to the back of the store. “I thought I’d never be able to do this since I had all boys.” She turns, gesturing to dresses hanging on a rack. “So thank you, Cordelia, for allowing me to do this with you.”

I nod, not knowing what to say. I thought I’d miss my mom being here for this and I guess I do. But we’re on the outs right now, so it doesn’t matter. Plus, this is a good opportunity to get to know Esmarie in a different way before marrying her son. I’ve known her for a while, but she’s always been just Kai’s mom.

The rack of pretty dresses pulls me in. I finger the beaded bodice with the tulle skirt. The next one is fitted, but I’m not sure it would fit over my bump. I don’t want to hide it. What’s the point? Everyone who will be there knows I’m pregnant, and this baby is part of our lives now.

“I hope you don’t mind. I had the girls pull a few things that I thought you might like. Don’t feel like you have to go with any of them. They were so beautiful, and I thought they would look wonderful on you.”

“Thank you, Esmarie, these are beautiful.”

She smiles at me, clapping her hands excitedly. “Which one do you want to try first?”

Hours go by, and after trying on at least thirty dresses, none of them feel right. There are a lot of other stores in Miami, but Esmarie is convinced we will find it here since they have the biggest selection. It’s all luxury brands that make me almost puke every time I peek at the price tag, but then I remember the heavy, limitless black card Kai gave me. I’m hesitant, but Kai wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t get what I wanted. Also, I’m exhausted and haven’t had my nap yet, so another store is out of the question.

All the dresses I’ve tried on have felt too formal. Looking at myself in the mirror, I decide on something more casual. They have mid-length dresses in various colors on the other side of the store, away from most of the bridal dresses. I flip through the jewel tones and pastels, but nothing catches my eye. I move down the row to the white and black options, and my hand catches an off-white dress, and I pull it out. It’s long and will reach past my knees, and the front and back mirror each other, dipping down into a V. My boobs will look great, and it’s pretty and open in the back. But my favorite part is that it’s crocheted. Its stunning construction makes me smile, and I believe I found the dress. I pull it out and hold it up to inspect it more, noticing the small slit that runs up the back.

“What do you think?” I turn and hold it up to Esmarie.

She nods and fingers the pretty knots. “It’s pretty, but don’t you want something a little more formal?”

“I thought I did, but we’re going to the courthouse, and formal feels like too much.”

“Try it on then,” she suggests.

I go into the dressing room, dropping the silk robe the store provides. The dress laces up at the bottom of the V in the back. My favorite part is the way the yarn hugs my little bump.

I open the curtain, and Esmarie steps forward to lace up the back. She ties it and pats my back. I turn in the large mirror, and my heart stutters in my chest. This is the one. I smile at myself and rub my bump.

“You’re smiling at yourself in the mirror. I think it’s safe to say this is the dress?” She asks, and I nod, looking at her through the mirror. She has a soft smile on her face, and her eyes admire my hands resting on my stomach. “You look absolutely beautiful, Cordelia. Kai is going to love it. It’s very fitting for you.”

“Thank you,” I tell her, still looking at myself in the mirror.

“And I have the perfect sandals that will work with it.”

“That sounds great, thank you,” I tell her.

“And for the flowers, I was thinking cabbage roses, daisies, peonies, poppies, and some bluebells. I know it sounds like a lot, but the coloring will complement the dress and will be a pop of color in the photos.”

“Yes, that sounds beautiful, Esmarie. I would have been fine with maybe some roses and eucalyptus.” Esmarie holds up her phone with a picture of the arrangement. “They’re perfect!” I tell her as my eyes burn. I wondered when the tears would start, and they definitely have now. “Thank you so much, this is all…a little overwhelming. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m excited, but I didn’t know the first place to start.”

“Well, darling, I’m glad I could help,” she says and opens her arms. I hug her tightly. When she lets me go, she takes my face in her hands and kisses my forehead. “I’m so glad to finally have a girl in the family. There’s simply too much testosterone floating around here.” I laugh and wipe my eyes. “I’m sure you’re exhausted. During my first pregnancy, I was napping constantly.”

I step off the platform and hesitate before returning to the dressing room. “Esmarie?”

She hums and pours herself some more champagne. “Yes, darling?”

“Can I ask you something?” I ask nervously.

“Sure,” she says before taking a sip.

“What…what was your husband like when you got pregnant with Emerson?”

Her expression drops, and she schools it in a matter of breaths. “He…was scared. But I think it comes from the fact that you’re going to be a parent. You realize you have another human being you have to take care of.” She stares off into space for a moment before blinking the memory away, looking up at me with a soft smile. “We had a lot of good times in the beginning.”

I smile back, not wanting to push anymore. I wonder when everything changed. I doubt Kai would know. He obviously wasn’t there. I suppose the only person who could give me the answer to that question is Esmarie, and that’s a wound that remains wide open.