29. Cordelia
My stomach is flipping and twisting like a synchronized swimming performance. Butterflies swarm from my head to my toes. I didn’t know that was a thing until right now. Love is one of the most beautiful, overwhelming things I have ever experienced, and with Kai, all I want is more endlessly.
My strapless bra is hanging on for dear life. The only thing that might be remotely sexy is the white thong I have on, and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. A confusing combination of embarrassment and need swirls around me, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to stop, but I’m pregnant. My boobs are sore, and it’s our wedding night. Tears burst from my eyes before I can stop them.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he says, grasping my face between his large hands. I shake my head in his hold, and his eyes are full of only concern for me.
“This is not how I wanted this to be. I feel like a whale, and I don’t think this is how I’m supposed to feel on my wedding night and…” My lip wobbles, and Kai wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
“Baby, it’s however we want it to be. I don’t expect anything, and neither should you. I want you to be comfortable.”
“I love you,” I whisper. He kisses me again so gently it calms and centers me. I lean into the kiss, but he pulls back.
“Tell me what you want, Cordelia,” he says, searching my eyes.
“I want you, and I know you said you want me. I believe you, but…” I trail off again because I don’t have the words to explain how I’m feeling. I was confident in my body before I was pregnant. I’m happy to have this baby and excited about it, but it feels like things are changing so much, and I never had a say in it…well, I did, but that’s a moot point. I wanted to feel confident and share this moment with him fully present, but I keep hesitating, afraid it won’t be what I’ve made it up to be in my head for so long.
“Cordelia Coldwell, my wife,“ he says, emphasizing the word wife. I almost melt on the floor with the title. I think I’ll always feel this way. “I love you, I love your body, and I love this child growing in it. You have nothing to worry about from me, baby. I want you now just as much as I wanted you then, I promise.”
“Okay,” I rasp. His thumb drags across my lips and pulls down on the lower one. I lean forward into him, and he drops his hands from my face, wrapping me up in his arms. I have to tilt my head all the way back because of his height. I want his skin on mine. While our tongues dance with love, I flip the buttons on his shirt, popping one at a time.
It’s a slow build from what I felt before, but it feels right. We should take our time. I get to the last button and help him out of his shirt. His hands trail down my back and flip off my bra, and I wince.
Kai pulls back immediately. “Gem?” he asks with the question in his eyes.
I lean forward and kiss him. “They’re just sore, it’s okay,” I say between brushing my lips across his.
“Okay,” he murmurs and sweeps his mouth across mine. Our bodies press together, and I whimper with the contact because it feels so good as his warmth and strength seep into me. He grabs the back of my head, tilting it all the way back, and peppers kisses down my neck onto my shoulder.
I reach down to the button on his pants and unzip them. He pulls back from me briefly, pushing them down his hips with his underwear. My whole body trembles with anticipation.
“Eyes up here, gem,” he says with a lilt to his voice. One hand goes to my lower back, and the other cups my cheek. He walks us backward to the bed as he steals my breath, making me nearly dizzy with need. The backs of my knees hit the end of the bed, and he holds me steady, lowering me to sit. He remains standing, and my mouth waters at the sight of him. I reach for him, and he shakes his head, dropping to his knees. “I wanted to do this the other night, but we didn’t get around to it.”
“Oh,” I say, my voice trembling.
He chuckles darkly, and his eyes light a fire in me. “Yeah, oh.”
I trace the lines of his beautiful, handsome face and lean forward to kiss him, gently nipping his tongue, and he bites me back. I moan, and he grunts with the slight sting of pain. Our gentle, slow pace picks up, and I feel his fingers at my hip, pulling at the elastic until it snaps like a rubber band. I gasp with the sting, and he rubs it before moving his hands to my knees and spreading them.
“Kai,” I moan. He grins devilishly and leans into my center, grazing me with his nose. I’m so sensitive everywhere I jump with the contact. He leans back to check on me, and I shake yet nod my head, giving a yes and no.
“Gem?”
“No, keep going, I’m — keep going,” I gasp between breaths. He grins and kisses my belly before he puts his tongue where I want it.
My arms go weak, and I barely catch myself as he devours me. I curse, and he groans into me. The vibration of his voice brings me higher and higher. I learned the other night it doesn’t take much. I grab his hair, fisting it tightly. It makes him moan as his hands tighten on my knees, holding me open for him. My hips jerk up, and I can’t hold back as I shatter into a thousand pieces. My vision goes dark for a moment, and my lungs gasp for air. Kai’s lips brush my hips and then my stomach before he reaches my heavy chest. His mouth barely grazes my nipple, and I bite down on my lip so hard to swallow my moan I almost make myself bleed.
He moves to my other one, and I almost yank him away, the line between pain and pleasure so thin I don’t know what feels better.
“Open your eyes for me, wife,” he says gently. I do, and he’s grinning down at me before he leans in to kiss me. “Your moans are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”
I pull his head closer to mine, and our tongues duel for dominance. He pulls back with puffy lips and electric eyes, sliding his hand under my lower back and helping me scoot further onto the bed until my shoulder blades hit the five thousand pillows on the bed.
“Okay?” he asks. I nod and lift my knees open, hoping this is the moment. Then he surprises me and lays down next to me. I frown, not sure what he’s doing, then he taps his legs. “Sit,” he commands.
It’s like my body is attached to strings, and I’m his puppet. I think I like being his puppet. I immediately lift myself onto him.
“I thought you might like this more,” he says, gripping my hips. “I did some research,” he grunts as I shift around to make myself comfortable, grazing him in the process.
“Really?” I ask him.
His eyes brighten. “I have lots of ideas,” he says. My lips roll together, excited for the prospect. “Come on, baby, you’re killing me,” he grunts. I lift before slowly lowering myself. Overwhelmed does not even begin to describe the feeling.
Kai lets out a string of curses before I move an inch. Then he says, “tú serás el fin de mí preciosa esposa.”
I pause, recognizing that he said something in Spanish again, and I like the way he groaned it, too.
“What did you say?” I ask him, breathless. His head tilts back, exposing his neck to me, and I lean forward, dragging my tongue up the length. “Tell me,” I whisper in his ear and drag the lobe through my teeth.
He groans again. “Mierda. You will be the end of me, my precious wife. Now sit,“ he commands, squeezing my hips and yanking our bodies together. I cry out, and he thrusts his hips up, and it’s all I can do to keep my balance as I roll myself against him. “That’s it, baby,” he grunts.
He thrusts up again, and I moan, tossing my head back and melting from the way we feel together because everything about it is perfect.
My blood is languid and smooth as we move so slowly it’s like he’s branding me with his thrusts. “Kai,” I moan. He grunts and moves a little quicker. My chest bounces, and he puts both hands on my back as I take over, circling my hips. He groans into my neck, and a jolt runs through me.
My husband tips his head back, looking up at me since I’m sitting a little higher. Our gazes lock together, and something I can only describe as primitive unlocks within me. My muscles scream as I take control of our pace. His jaw drops open, and I inhale sharply. Every inch of skin pulses as I ride him without hesitation, feeling every brush of skin between us. Kai curses between English and Spanish as he flicks his thumb between my legs. My back arches, and I can feel myself teetering on the edge. Then he sucks my nipple into his mouth, lighting me up like the Fourth of July until I see stars like fireworks. I scream yes into the ceiling, and he groans, thrusting up with every bit of strength he has.
“Mi amor, mi amor preciosa,“ my love, my precious love, he groans. Another orgasm rolls through me, and Kai falls backward. I catch myself with both hands on either side of his head. He keeps rolling his hips, urging me on as I push backward into him. A tear slips from my eye, and he thrusts one more time. My body goes limp, and my lungs express every bit of oxygen within them. Adrenaline feels like it’s singeing my veins while I try to catch my breath. With my head on his chest, his heart thunders in my ear, and my eyes drop from the exertion.
Neither of us moves as his hands graze up and down my spine. He leans to the side and pulls the covers up over our bodies. I sigh into his skin, finally able to breathe, and he hums, chucking up my chin. I lift my head to kiss him, and my heart is so full it could burst.
“I love you, gem,” he says with a voice full of emotion. I slide off of him and kiss his chest where his heart is.
“Te amo,“ I say into his skin. He smiles softly at me.
“You know Spanish?” he asks. I shake my head.
“That’s all I know except, where is the bathroom, along with please and thank you,” I tell him. He chuckles. “Are you fluent?” I ask.
“Yeah, it was part of our tutoring,” he says.
“I didn’t know that.”
He lifts a shoulder. “I have a feeling we will be getting to know each other in very new ways, mi amor.”
“I like the sound of that,” I say, propping my head up on my fist. We’re both quiet for a moment. This was not the way I had thought we would be, but it feels better. Kai owns me, flesh and bone. Our souls met as one, and it was as beautiful and consuming as I hoped it would be. Now, it doesn’t matter how I thought it should be because the reality was so much better. “This feels like it’s all a dream.”
“Then it’s a damn good one, and I don’t ever want to wake up,” he says. I giggle, leaning back into him. He hugs me close and slides his hand over my belly. I close my eyes, telling myself I’m just going to shut them for a moment, but sleep pulls me under.