Chapter 15 #2
I breathe it in deep. Let it out slow. Feel the calm overtake me…
‘I’d choose this every time.’ I smile. Accepting it for what it is. My current reality. My life in this moment. ‘Because this, Theo. This is perfection.’
And I’m happy. For the first time in too long, I’m actually happy.
Not just free and living, but happy.
And all the crazy flutterings he stirs up inside me, they’re just noise above that totally exquisite baseline of H-A-P-P-Y.
‘Yeah,’ he murmurs beside me, his voice lower, heavier – like he’s just waking up to the beauty he’s overlooked all this time. ‘It really is.’
Only… he’s not looking at the view at all. He’s looking straight at me. And the way he says it… the way his eyes look… they have that burn, the same fire he was sporting on his knees last night…
My breath catches and I think about the promise I made to myself that morning.
To take what hadn’t been perfect and make it so.
By claiming his mouth and his pleasure, too.
‘Theo?’
* * *
Theo
She’s got that look in her eye.
The one that says she’s thinking things I shouldn’t be entertaining.
Not when she just called me out over Katie. Hit me with a question so sharp, it carved right through the lie I’ve been living with, like she didn’t even know it was my deepest fear laid bare.
And Axel’s voice echoes behind hers:
‘ Maybe it’s just easier to hide behind work than admit you’ve been stuck on the same girl for almost ten years.’
She can’t know.
Because I don’t know.
Not for sure.
And if I screw this up – if I chase a feeling I’ve never dared name – I don’t just risk breaking myself. I risk ruining her. And I brought her here to prevent Danny from doing just that. To protect everything she’s rebuilt – so fragile and hard-earned, it’s fucking sacred.
She looks happy. Whole, even. And the idea that I could undo that, send her spiralling back to the girl by the river… worse, the cowering woman from the park.
No. Fuck, no.
‘We should go inside,’ I mutter, voice rough, already half-turned to leave.
But she stops me, her palm pressing against my chest, and every nerve lights up.
My eyes find hers. And then I’m looking at her – really looking. Caught in the fire of her gaze, the colour in her cheeks, the sheen of her lips…
‘This morning, I made a promise to myself.’
‘Yeah?’ I rasp, my voice already betraying me.
She nods slowly, the breeze picking up around us – lifting strands of her hair, sending her cardigan slipping off one shoulder.
My gaze follows it, drawn helplessly to the exposed skin, the soft curve of her breast just visible.
My fingers twitch, my mouth dries up – wanting to touch, to taste, to trace…
She doesn’t move. Doesn’t cover up. Like she knows what it’s costing me, and she’s daring me to look away, to walk away from this.
And God help me, I can’t.
‘I promised myself that the next time I took my pleasure, you were coming with me.’
Fuck . My jaw locks, my cock bucking against my jeans all too willing to agree.
‘I’m supposed to be protecting you,’ I grind out.
‘From what, the seagulls?’ She gives a breathy laugh, the heat of her continued touch seeping through the fabric of my tee. ‘Because last I checked, we’re completely alone.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I don’t,’ she says, her voice soft but unwavering. ‘Because I feel safe, Theo. Safer than I’ve felt in years.’
But she wasn’t safe. Not even twenty-four hours ago. And that truth – hidden from her but pounding inside me – is a blade against my ribs.
‘And it’s because of you,’ she adds, her palm sliding up to my neck, fingers toying with the hair there, and it takes everything I have not to groan.
‘You didn’t just give us shelter, you gave me the confidence to get out there and live my life again.
You helped me remember who I am. You helped me see the kind of woman I want to be.
Strong. Sure. A good mother that Lottie can look up to. ’
‘You were always a good mum, don’t ever doubt that,’ I burst out, my fingers threading through her hair as I urge her to see it. ‘And you did all that by yourself.’
‘I couldn’t have done it without you.’ Her voice breaks, just slightly. ‘You believed in me. You pushed me.’
‘You wouldn’t have needed pushing if that bastard?—’
She covers my mouth with her thumb, eyes bright with unshed tears. ‘Not tonight. I don’t want to talk about him tonight. I just want to thank you. And maybe… maybe claim a few more stars.’
Stars. Fuck . That claiming lives in my soul.
And it’s in hers too. Her eyes blaze with it, while her words – the gentle hope…
Her hand trembles as I take it from my mouth and press it between us, just to feel her there. To stop myself from ruining this with all the things I still don’t know how to say.
‘I don’t want to hurt you, Sadie. If I screw this up— if I get this wrong?—’
‘You won’t. You can’t break me. Trust me.
I’ve been broken. And now I’m stronger than ever.
’ She inhales softly, her eyes holding me captive with her words.
‘I’m strong enough to enjoy this for what it is.
And walk away when it’s over. No promises.
No expectations. My life with Lottie comes first. Always. ’
I see it: the truth in her. No hesitation. No fear. Only fire.
And still, I hesitate.
She tilts her head, leans in the barest inch. ‘Give me the stars again, Theo, and I’ll promise you some of your own…’
My pulse hammers in my throat. Every inch of my body screams to close the space between us. To forget everything outside this moment – every reason I told myself I couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t.
But she’s here.
And she’s not begging, she’s claiming this moment. Hers. Mine. Making it ours.
She reaches up and gently takes the wine glass from my hand, sets it down beside hers on the rail. Then – barely brushing – her lips sweep across mine. Intentionally soft, breathtakingly electrifying.
‘But this time…’ she whispers, ‘I want your kiss, too.’
Her tongue flicks lightly against my bottom lip?—
Fuck.
I snap, smothering the curse as I crush my mouth to hers.
My tongue sweeps inside, an invasion that claims me more than it ever could her.
She tastes of wine and everything I was never meant to touch.
So right. So wrong. But I’ve wanted this for so damn long, and now that I have it, my body isn’t mine any more.
It’s carnal instinct, fierce and out of control.
I drag her to me with both hands – one tangled in her hair, the other fisted in her cardigan.
She gasps as I press her up against the rail.
Desperate to feel her everywhere, all at once.
Restraint obliterated, I kiss her again.
And again. Deeper. Rougher. My hands roam – her hair, her waist, her spine – gripping, pulling, needing.
And she meets me head-on. All heat and surrender and everything I never let myself hope for…
There’s no holding back.
No going back.
This isn’t safe.
This isn’t smart.
This is inevitable .
And I want all of it.
Even if it wrecks me in the process.
‘Bedroom,’ I command. ‘Now.’
* * *
Sadie
I shake my head, not wanting to break the spell. Not even for a second.
I know Lottie’s asleep. I know Isla’s in her quarters. It’s just us.
And there’s no way in hell I’m giving him time to reconsider.
‘Here,’ I say in the same tone. ‘Now.’
His breath shudders against my lips, but he doesn’t move.
So I do.
I slide my hands beneath his shirt, desperate to feel every inch of him – the body I’ve dreamed of, fantasised about, the man I’ve wanted for so long.
I rake my fingers over his abs, up his chest, dragging his shirt with me. He trembles as I strip it from him, letting it drop to the ground, my cardigan with it.
His eyes fall to my body, dark and molten as he lowers his head.
He kisses my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder – stubble grazing, teeth scraping.
I shiver, hot and cold in the same instant.
He hooks his fingers into the straps of my dress, easing them down my arms until gravity takes over and it pools at my feet.
The sea breeze filters through the lace of my bra, a teasing whisper over heated skin. He unfastens the clasp, and I tilt my head back. Dizzy with anticipation. Undone by sensation.
My bra slips away, and he lets out a low, reverent curse as my breasts spill free. My nipples tighten, straining towards the cool night air and the heat of his stare.
‘So fucking beautiful,’ he murmurs, and my whole body blooms under his appreciation, craving his touch as his hands glide over me.
He palms the swell of my breasts, thumbs teasing their hardened peaks until I can’t catch a full breath. My body arcs back, my hips shifting with a need so raw, I cry his name.
‘Please, Theo.’ I pull his mouth back to mine, tasting the groan that rumbles deep within his chest, feeling the strain in his shoulders, the restraint he’s barely holding onto. But I don’t want restraint. Not now.
As the salt-tinged air whips around us, I lean into his heat and tell him what he needs to know: ‘I’m on the pill.’
His eyes flare – hot, wide, wrecked .
‘And I want you here,’ I whisper.
His breath hitches, and for a beat, we stare at each other, like the weight of what’s about to happen is too big to name.
Then he moves. Sweeping me up and setting me down on the table. His hands go to the fly of his jeans, popping the button, and I trap my bottom lip between my teeth as I stare – hungry, enraptured.
‘You need to stop looking at me like that,’ he growls, hands stilling.
‘Like what?’
‘Like you want to eat me.’
I press my lips together and meet his gaze.
‘But I do.’
His curse is a hiss I feel deep in my core. I take over for him, tugging his zipper down, dragging denim and boxers over his hips…
The second he springs free – hard, flushed, perfect – I’m licking my lips, eyes begging. ‘Please.’
His jaw clenches in answer, every muscle carved like stone as I wrap my fingers around him. One stroke, and he bucks, pre-cum already beading at the tip. I slip to my knees and scoop it up with my tongue. He groans out my name, his hands fisting in my hair. Rough. Weak. Losing it for me .
I sink my mouth over him, tongue curling around his breadth, my hand moving in rhythm. Every inch of him – mine.
I suck back, and his thighs tremble.
‘ Sadie …’
I look up, my murmured, ‘Yes,’ vibrating around his length as his body pulses, his release close. So close.
‘Get up here,’ he grinds out.
I draw back slowly, giving him one last stroke – tight, purposeful – relishing the sound that rips from his throat, the taste of his impending climax on my tongue, the way he’s coming apart just for me.
Then he’s grabbing my waist, thrusting me onto the table.
‘You’ll be the death of me,’ he hisses, and my inner devil preens as he tears my knickers away.
His gaze rakes over me and I lean back, soaking it in. There’s reverence there, but it’s laced with something darker. Possessive. Intense.
His hands trail up my thighs, fingers skimming between my legs slowly, torturously, and I part for him. Letting him see how wet I am. How desperate.
He thumbs my clit, his eyes burning into his touch, and my hips roll with my groan. More, please more. And he answers my silent plea, his fingers dipping inside as his thumb continues to roll.
‘So fucking beautiful,’ he repeats. His other hand smooths up my side to cup my breast, teasing the pleading peak before his mouth comes down to greet it.
He draws it in – tongue flicking, mouth sucking.
His teeth nip, gently… then harder. Oh , yes .
I clutch his shoulders, my body shamelessly arching, urging him for more.
He palms my breast while still feasting on the other, his tantalising caress between my legs pushing me to the brink. Every limb tightens. I’m going, and I want him with me.
I sink my hands into his hair, yanking every strand as I tug him to my mouth.
‘I want you, Theo. I want you now.’
He plunders my lips, all heat and hunger as he spreads my thighs with his body and tugs me to him. His tip nudges at my entrance and his head rocks back, eyes locking with mine… this is it. God, yes. This is it. No going back.
‘ Take me .’
He thrusts forward – one powerful stroke – and he’s buried deep. I see it in his eyes, feel it in my heart. He’s taking my all, in the most beautiful, soul-crushing way. And I refuse to fear it.
I wrap my legs around him, arms too, pulling him impossibly closer as I find his mouth, claiming his kiss as he claims my body and more.
I gasp his name, open my eyes, and find his still blazing down on me. It’s everything. He’s everything. This man I once thought I’d lost forever – now, he’s here, inside me, around me, mine.
For tonight, at least, he’s mine.
And I let go of everything but this.
This moment.
This man.
And as we claim the stars together, I know they’ll stay with me forever…
Even if he won’t.