Final Cost (The Winter Trilogy #3)

21. Lucien

21

Lucien

I submit with rising impatience as the nurse bustles around me, checking my bandages, my IV line and my pulse to make sure I still have one. I’m still feeling a little groggy after my surgery, plus the police debriefing did nothing to put the wind back in my sails. I’m eager to spend some time alone with Tamsyn, but she’s across the room in my private suite here at the hospital, talking to Mrs. Hooper on the phone and the nurse is now checking — for fuck’s sake — my blood oxygen level.

Then the worst possible thing happens. There’s a knock on the door and Detective Smith pokes her head inside. “Can I get a quick word, Mr. Winter?”

“In addition to the quick word you and your team already had?” I say, my voice still sounding craggy after the anesthesia.

“It won’t take long,” she says.

Sighing, I wave her inside.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” the nurse says cheerily, grabbing her little cart and heading for the door. “Give a shout if you need anything.”

“Thanks. Will do,” I say.

“Detective Smith,” Tamsyn says, hanging up and coming over to join us.

“Ms. Scott. I’m glad you’re here, too,” Detective Smith says. “You’ll be happy to know I’ve been on the phone with the prosecutor’s office. They’ll contact your lawyer directly, but they’re dropping all charges against you and issuing a statement that due to the receipt of additional information, they now believe you had nothing to do with your wife’s death. Daniel will be charged as soon as he’s released. We’ve got a guard on him until then.”

“Oh, thank God,” Tamsyn says. “That means your company will bounce back, right, Lucien?”

“Yeah,” I say. Good news all around. But I feel strangely hollow. “How’s Winwood? The nurses won’t tell us anything because of privacy issues.”

“He’s good,” Detective Smith says. “I was down in his room a little while ago. “He’s got a concussion, but they’ll probably let him go tomorrow.”

I give her a pointed look. “I hope no one in your department is thinking about charging him with anything.”

There’s a pause.

“While we don’t love it when witnesses take off with crucial evidence, we don’t see any benefit to pursuing charges against Winwood at this time.”

Tamsyn and I exchange a swift look of relief.

“Good,” Tamsyn says.

“Mr. Winter,” Detective Smith says, picking her words with the care of a soldier tiptoeing through a minefield on stilts, “I just want to issue my personal regrets for —”

I wave one of my sore and badly bruised hands to stop her, wincing against the pain. I wouldn’t have been so merciless with Daniel’s face if I’d known how much it would hurt me . To my surprise, I don’t want or need to hear her apology. “Forget it. You were doing your job. I know I looked guilty.”

Detective Smith seems startled. “That’s very gracious of you.”

I take Tamsyn’s hand and hold it. “I’m feeling very gracious right now. You know what would make me feel even better?”

“What’s that?” Detective Smith says.

“For you to call me Lucien .”

A fleeting grin from Detective Smith. “I’m happy to call you, Lucien, Mr. Winter, but it’s my profound hope that the two of us never see each other again. And I’m sure it’s yours.”

“Indeed,” I say, offering my hand.

We shake. She turns to go before glancing at Tamsyn. “Is that new hardware I see on your ring finger, Ms. Scott? I never miss a sparkler.”

“It is,” Tamsyn says, beaming and holding out her hand to show off the ring.

“Earrings, too, I see. Very nice,” Detective Smith says. “Best wishes to you both.”

“Thanks,” we both say as we watch her leave. Then Tamsyn pulls a chair over to my bed and sits, reaching for my hand again.

“Alone at last,” I say.

“Right? I don’t even know where to begin,” she says.

“Neither do I.”

There’s a pause while we stare at each other, shaking our heads and trying to absorb everything that’s happened since we were last alone together. I don’t know about her, but my brain is overflowing with thoughts. I can almost feel them trickling down the sides of my face.

“So?” she finally says. “How was jail? Was the food good? Oh, and Mrs. Hooper wants me to tell you she never doubted your innocence for a single second .”

That gets me. I choke on a surprised laugh, breaking off immediately when it makes my side hurt. “Don’t make me laugh,” I say, wincing.

“Sorry,” she says. “And I’m sorry you had to go through that. Being arrested. Spending the night in jail…”

It kills me to see her upset. As does the thought of what I would have been like to spend more than a night as a prisoner. The clanging of the bars. The desolation and utter lack of control over my own life. The stenches—of piss, sweat and, most of all, desperation. What if I’d had to stay? What would I have done if my only contact with Tamsyn had been when we put our hands up to either side of the glass? The idea makes me shudder. “Forget it. I have. It’s over now.”

“But…”

“I’m done with the past. I’m not looking back. Neither should you.”

She nods, ducking her head to discreetly wipe away her tears. “I’m sorry I had my doubts about you, Lucien. Most of me knew you’d never hurt Ravenna. But there was this one tiny little corner of my brain that was so scared that maybe you had. I’m ashamed of myself. And I’m sorry. I know that hurt you.”

There it is, my second apology in the last ten minutes. Like the first, I discover that I don’t need to hear it. Tonight is a time for fresh starts and moving forward. I’m not going to let anything stand in the way of that. Not even my wounded pride. “It’s okay. I swear. I don’t blame you. Being in Ravenna’s orbit was always like being in a fun house with those distortion mirrors. There’s no way to know what’s real and what’s not. She fucked with everyone’s mind she ever met.” I laugh bitterly. “It was her one true gift.”

“No kidding. Look what she did to Daniel. Daniel . Of all people. I never would’ve thought it was him .”

“Neither would I.” I hesitate, then decide to just spit it out. “He was right, though. About me.”

That startles her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I had my head so far up my own ass that I didn’t realize how he felt. About any of it. Maybe it was condescending of me to act like he was part of the family when of course he never could be. I don’t know.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She smooths the hair at my temple, her hand cool and soothing. “From everything I ever saw, you were extremely fair and generous with him. Your fortune was an accident of birth. The same with his lack of fortune. Neither one of you was to blame about that. He was just jealous and bitter. And if Ravenna was pulling him closer and pushing him away for all those years…” She breaks off, grimacing. “I can only imagine the damage she did to him. I wish we could do some kind of emotional audit. Figure out the ultimate cost of Ravenna’s gaslighting all of us.”

I make a derisive sound. “Incalculable but astronomical.”

We lapse into a thoughtful and dazed silence.

“Is it really over?” she finally says.

“Yes.”

“We’re really getting married?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Her smile is so ridiculously happy — so energizing and healing — that it feels like an infusion of strength directly into my bloodstream. I can almost feel my flesh knitting itself back together as my body recuperates.

That’s when a new urgency hits me. I grab her hands tighter, pulling her closer. “There’s nothing to stop us now. You know that, right? No reason to hold back. Nothing we can’t say to each other.”

“You’re the one who’s been holding yourself back,” she points out.

She’s got me there. “You’re right.” I plow ahead, my soaring heart firmly in charge for once. “You’re right. That’s all over. There’s a lot I want to tell you.”

“Like what?”

“Like I want to park my ass on the sofa with you every night after dinner and watch movies. Like I don’t care whether we live at Ackerley, my penthouse or Mrs. Hooper’s brownstone. None of that matters. I don’t give a fuck. As long as we’re together. And…” I trail off, all this overflowing emotion lodging in my throat and making it hard to get the words out. “We’re going to need some kids. When you’ve got your career up and running and the time is right.”

“Oh, we are definitely going to need some kids.”

“Yeah?” I figured she’d want kids, but this is our first time discussing it. “Good.”

“I love you, Lucien,” she says, eyes shining.

“I love you.”

“I can’t wait to get you back home,” she says with a frown at all my medical apparatus.

“Same.” I rest my head on the pillow, as tired as I am invigorated. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a vacation.”