Chapter 2
two
T roy’s bell bottom jeans swished at his ankles as he walked, following Jessie onto the golf course, leaving the blue Trans Am parked on the street, strolling along the golf cart path, passing through thick underbrush among pine, birch, and oak trees. A six pack of silver beer cans swung in his hand.
Jessie strolled onto the green, a silver boom box in his hand, then sat down, crossing his legs. “Good?”
“Good.” Troy scanned around them. This was the most private hole on the course, and it being evening, no one was ever out here. He gazed up at the stars, then at the foliage edging the fairway lit by a sliver of moon. As a grin curled his lips, he sat down across from Jessie and crossed his legs. “Beer?”
“Yeah.” Jessie pushed a cassette tape into the center of the boom box and hit a button. REO Speedwagon’s Time for me to Fly started up. He turned the volume down. “Shit, don’t want it too loud. Someone might call the cops.” He chuckled.
“That would suck.” Troy snicked a beer can open and handed it to Jessie, then opened his own can and took a gulp. “Damn, that tastes good.”
Jessie opened a Ziplock bag and slid out a joint. “I bet. This is going to taste even better.” He tugged a slim lighter out of his pocket, held the joint to his lips, flicked the flame on the lighter, then took a deep drag, holding his breath. He passed the joint to Troy.
Troy pinched the joint between his fingers and thumb and took a hit, holding his breath, then released a plume of smoke. Burning lit up his lungs, making him cough. “Fuck.”
“Don’t waste it, man.” Jessie grabbed the joint from him and sucked another drag off it.
“It’s been a while. I think the only time I smoke weed is with you.” Troy thought back over the year. Was that really right? Yep, it was. He sipped his beer.
“You want some more?” Jessie handed the joint to him, his normally large eyes narrowing.
“Sure.” Troy took a hit along with quite a bit of air, held it, then released it. “There, you happy now?” His head felt as if it were floating. That was plenty for him.
A lopsided grin spread over Jessie’s lips. “Maybe.” He took another drag, squeezed the joint out between his fingers and dropped it into the baggie, then tucked the baggie into a front pocket in his jeans. He leaned back, resting his straight arms behind him, and gazed up into the sky. “I’m so happy to be here right now.”
“Yeah?” Troy peered at the sky. “What are you looking at?”
“The North star.” Jessie pointed in the air.
“Where?” Troy darted his gaze across the star patterns. Where the hell was it? Normally, he found it right away.
“Come here.” Jessie stretched forward and clasped Troy’s t-shirt, then tugged.
Troy crept to Jessie’s side, and looked up.
Jessie edged into him, their sides touching, his head close to Troy’s, his arm raised. “There, see?”
Troy moved his head to match his line of sight to Jessie’s pointing finger. A bright star lit up to the right of the Big Dipper. “Ah, yeah, I see it.” Stupid, why hadn’t he seen it right away?
Jessie dropped his arm, twisting his head to face Troy. The grin on his mouth faded and he widened his eyes, parting his lips.
Troy gazed into his eyes and smiled. “What?” Why is he being so weird?
Jessie bit his lip. “You look good, man. It’s really nice to be here with you.” He dropped his head. “Just like old times. Before everything got so...”
“Got so what?” Troy lowered his head, bumping Jessie’s side. “Got so what? Talk to me, man.” His mother’s words rang out in his head. Growing pains. What did that even mean?
Jessie released a sharp chuckle and raised his head. “I don’t know, complicated. Confusing.”
Troy let his grin wane, his chest tightening. This might be serious. Maybe his parents were right. “What do you mean?”
Jessie drew a deep breath, a faint grin curling the edges of his generous lips. “I told you I’m not sure what I want to do next year. I’m not even sure I want to go back to college and finish.”
“What?” He widened his eyes. “Jesus, dude, you only have one year left. Why wouldn’t you finish?” He couldn’t fathom stopping now after all the hard work of the last three years. No wonder his parents were worried.
“I don’t know. I think I need some time to travel or something. Find myself, maybe.” With a sigh, Jessie lay down in the short grass, entwining his hands over his stomach, setting his beer beside him. “Then maybe I could finish.”
“Find yourself? Where do you think you are? You’re right here, man. Where else would you be?” He snorted, then giggled. The weed was getting to him.
Jessie turned his head. “What’s so funny? Got the giggles?” He sat up and tickled Troy’s sides.
Troy jumped and giggled. “Stop.” He’d give it right back. He set his beer in the grass, then snuck his fingers onto Jessie’s side and tickled him.
Jessie snorted and squirmed, then broke out in full on laughter. “Fucker, stop it.”
“No.” Troy worked his fingers over Jessie’s sides, staying on him, laughing.
Jessie giggled and writhed onto his back with his knees raised.
Troy lay over him, his fingers digging into Jessie’s rib cage. “Who’s got the giggles now?”
“Me, me, I do.” Jessie laughed and twisted. “Stop it, please.”
Troy stopped his fingers and fell over Jessie, panting, his head resting on Jessie’s chest. Got him. Jessie’s heart thumped in his ears. “Damn, man, your heart is beating like crazy.”
Jessie peered down at him. “Yeah?” He rubbed his eyes. “Wonder why.” He pressed his lips together, then frowned.
Troy lifted onto his arms. “Hey.” Why did Jessie look sad all of a sudden? “What’s going on with you? You seem... different this year.”
“Nothing.” Jessie made to get up. “Move.” He shoved him.
Troy rolled off and righted himself, crossing his legs. “Dang, dude. Take it easy.” He picked his beer up off the grass and gulped it.
Jessie raked a hand through his hair and sat with his arms behind him, his legs straight out in front of him. “I’m sorry, man.” He flashed a grin at him. “Maybe I seem different because... I am.” He lifted his beer and took a sip, then eyed him.
Troy looked him over and smiled. Dang, maybe he did get a girlfriend. “So...” He bumped his side. “Did you get a girlfriend or something back there in New York?” He smirked. Maybe he was missing her. Maybe that’s what he was seeing.
“Shit, no.” With a snicker, Jessie shook his head. “Definitely not.”
“Well, my sister will be happy to hear it.” Troy chuckled, then drank the rest of his beer. “We were right about everyone. My sister wanted to go with us tonight and my brother wants to cruise in your car.” At least they hadn’t changed over the last year.
Jessie freed a choked laugh. “Right on.” He drank the rest of his beer. “How did you get out of it?”
Troy opened new can of beer from the pack and handed it to Jessie. “My mom came to the rescue. I agreed to take Nate and Mark out some night, though.”
Jessie nodded his dark head. “Cool.”
“Speaking of which, what do you want to do tomorrow? Maybe take the boat out to Gooseberry Island?” The island was always fun. Troy opened a new beer for himself and sipped it.
“Yeah, let’s do that. But no Donna, Mark, or Nate this time. Let’s just go with the two of us.” Jessie furrowed his brows. “We have the whole month of July to keep them entertained.”
“Yeah. We should put them off as long as possible. Seemed like last year we got stuck with them a lot.” Troy released a sharp chuckle. “Especially Donna.” He slapped Jessie’s knee. “Dude, I don’t know how to you put up with her chasing you around like that.”
Jessie smirked. “It’s not so bad. Kind of cute, actually.”
Troy narrowed his eyes. “Wait, you don’t like her now, do you?” He lifted the beer to his lips but held it there, waiting. He certainly hoped not. He didn’t want to be sharing Jessie’s time with his sister the whole month.
Jessie focused on him “What if I did?” A faint grin played on his lips.
Troy set his beer down. “Uh, well, I guess...” He pinched his mouth. That would suck. “I guess that would be okay.”
“You sure? I mean, you don’t look like you’d be okay with that.” Jessie watched him. “So, you’d be okay if Donna and I started going steady?” He took a gulp of beer.
Troy’s chest tightened. He didn’t like the idea, not at all. His sister was annoying, and having her around the whole time was not cool. But it wasn’t like he could stop him. “If that’s what you really want, then I’m down with it.” Maybe that was why he wasn’t interested in the chicks at the bar. He’d been waiting to drop this on him. He wrinkled his brows, staring down the fairway. But then why didn’t he want to bring Donna on the boat tomorrow? He studied Jessie.
“Psyche.” Jessie burst out in a belly laugh.
“What?” Troy widened his eyes.
“I’m joking. I don’t like your sister. Don’t have a cow, man.” Jessie slapped his leg, snickering. “You looked like someone pissed in your Wheaties.”
Troy shook his head, laughing. “You fucker. I really thought you were going to start going out with her, and then she’d be tagging along all summer.” Thankfully, it was a joke. He huffed and drank his beer.
“Admit it. You want to go out with me.” Jessie winced, then dropped his mouth open. “I-I mean?—”
“I know what you meant.” He shook his head, grinning. “Dudes don’t go out together, doofus.” Like he’d really think Jessie was asking him out.
“Yeah...” Jessie frowned and gulped hard, then drew a deep inhale, straightening his spine. “Anyway, let’s get the boat tomorrow and go to the island. Just the two of us.”
“Sure.”
Troy tucked his t-shirt into the top of his corduroy shorts, waltzed across the weedy area between the cabins in morning sunshine and stopped in front of the door to Jessie’s cabin, then knocked.
The door opened and Jessie’s father appeared, his thick, black glasses hugging the end of his nose, his dark brown hair slicked back on his head. “Hi, Troy.”
“Good morning, Mr. Smith. Is Jessie around?” Troy smiled at him.
“No, actually. I think he went down to the marina.” Mr. Smith looked him over. “You boys taking the boat out today?”
“Yes, sir.” Troy searched the area. Jessie’s car was gone. Why didn’t he come get him? He didn’t have to get the boat ready all by himself. He should go help him. “Guess I’ll head down there then.”
“Sure. Have fun.” Mr. Smith smiled, then shut the door.
Troy huffed. Damn, Jessie could have at least waited for him. He wasn’t that late getting up. When he’d left his cabin, it was only around eight-thirty.
Troy strode off down the tree-lined drive toward the marina. He walked past cabin after cabin, the lake peeking through the trees and foliage in between, then finally made it to the parking lots and main buildings of the resort and followed the main road past the supper club and a boat launch. Finally he walked through the parking lot of the marina, looking out over the lake and the boats tied up to the dock. As he approached a small building, he took in Jessie’s blue Trans Am, parked in the first space. He was definitely here. But where was the boat? He didn’t see it docked by the marina. Maybe he was still inside getting supplies.
Troy stepped onto a large dock, walked to a small brown log-sided building next to a gas pump, and approached the glass door. A Closed sign hung on the inside, showing through the glass. The hours were posted to the left of the handle. The place opened at nine. Why had Jessie come down here so early? Troy put his face close to the glass, his hand over his eyes, and peered inside. No one was there. The door jiggled as his hand grazed it. It wasn’t locked. Maybe they’d forgotten to change the sign? He opened the door and stepped inside. Where the hell was Jessie?
He perused the small shop with various fishing lures and equipment hanging from the plywood walls and on haphazard shelves, then stepped to a wooden counter.
Tapping snaked out from behind a partial wall jutting out from behind the counter.
Someone might be in here after all. He strode around the end of the counter and stepped behind the wall, his hand raising for a wave. As Jessie’s dark head of hair came into view, he stopped in his tracks. His breath caught. He blinked a few times.
Jessie, his green t-shirt pulled tight across his chest and jean shorts open and hanging low on his hips, was leaning his back against the wall, his eyes closed, lips parted. His hands rested on the back of a young man’s brown head of hair, parted in the middle and feathered on the sides, that was bobbing over Jessie’s groin. Jessie rocked his hips, licking his mouth, and whispered, “Keep going, just like that.”
The young man’s brown polo showed off a wide back and was tucked into tan shorts—the marina uniform. He moaned and made sucking noises.
Troy widened his eyes. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. An ache pierced his groin. He bit his lip, watching. His breath quickened and his cock hardened and twitched. Jessie’s getting a blowjob from a dude? A dude who works at the marina?
Jessie thrust his hips in a desperate rhythm. He wrinkled his brows, tensing his face. As he raked his teeth over his lower lip, he groaned. “Fuck, I’m coming.” He erupted in sharp gasps, his fingers fisting in the young man’s hair.
A pulse of sensation jolted through Troy’s cock. He looked down. I’ve got a hard-on? His cock pulsed again, pleasure surging through him. Oh, shit. He crept behind the wall, leaning against it, pressing on his solid shaft through his shorts. Fuck, watching Jessie come was making him come. He couldn’t stop it. He rubbed over the swelling in his shorts as wave after wave of intense sensation shuddered over him, spurting cum into his underwear. His knees buckled and he clenched his teeth, fighting to keep from moaning aloud. As it slowed, he drew deep breaths. What had just happened? Why did that turn him on so much? He came to his senses. He had to get out of there. Jessie couldn’t find him here. Not like this. He sprinted to the door of the building and ran off through the parking lot, his heart pounding, his lungs burning.
He ran on, his mind racing. Jessie let a dude blow him. Is Jessie gay? If Jessie’s gay, then what am I? I like chicks. I love chicks. I’m not gay. As he reached the drive to the cabins, he shook his head, slowing his stride, panting. “Holy fuck.” He placed his shaking fingers to his forehead. What was he supposed to do now?
As he approached the cabins, he took a quick inventory of the area. The van was gone. Good, then hopefully everyone was out of the cabin and couldn’t bother him. He stepped to it and went inside. Everyone was gone, thankfully. He strode to a bedroom down the hallway. Think, Troy. He searched around him, at his bed, then the two others where his siblings slept, all against the wall. First, he needed to change. Then he needed to figure out if he was going to say anything. He slid the top drawer out of the dresser and grabbed new white underwear and jean shorts, then strode into the bathroom and removed his soiled clothes.
As he wet a washcloth and wiped himself off, his mind replayed the event. Jessie standing against the wall, Jessie’s hips rocking, his hands fisting in the man’s hair, the look of pleasure on his face.
He stared at the sink, his breath quickening. He opened his mouth. His shaft stiffened under the washcloth. He broke out of the vision, glaring at his cock. “Damn it. What the fuck?” Why was thinking about it giving him a hard on? Forget it for now, get changed and then think. He cleaned himself and slid the fresh underwear and jean shorts up his legs.
Rapping sounded out from the main room.
“Shit.” Troy fastened his shorts, strode into the bedroom, and tossed his dirty clothes into a tall, white hamper.
“Troy? You in there?” Jessie’s muffled voice laced through the front door.
Troy stomped through the main room and kitchen and opened the door. No time to think, damn it.
Jessie stood in the doorway, grinning, the jean shorts replaced by brown swim trunks. “Hi. Were you down at the marina?” He lifted his brows.
Troy glanced at the main room, the blue couch and loveseat, the traditional dark wood coffee and end tables. He couldn’t look at him. What should he say? “No, why?” He faced Jessie and forced a smile. Don’t think about what you saw. Don’t think about it.
Jessie placed his hand on the doorjamb at head level. “I could have sworn I saw you there running through the parking lot.” He chuckled. “Are you sure?”
Shit, he’d seen him. Should he confess? Mr. Smith might spill the beans if he lied anyway. That wouldn’t be good. “I uh, yeah, I walked down there. Your dad told me you were there.”
Jessie stepped into the cabin, inspecting the main room. “Everybody gone?” He turned to him.
“Yeah, they were gone when I got home.” Troy scratched his head, keeping his focus on the olive and brown patterned linoleum floor in the kitchen. It felt weird being with him now.
Jessie snatched his arm and tugged him forward. “Why were you running?” He wrinkled his brows, bringing his face close to Troy’s.
“I-I forgot, um, something.” His gaze darted from the wood-paneled wall to the refrigerator. Shit, does he know I saw him?
Jessie released his arm. “So, what did you forget?” He gnawed on his lower lip.
Troy freed a harsh chuckle. “You know what? I forgot.” He brushed his hand over the back of his dark blond, wavy hair. “Can you believe that? Now I’ve forgotten what I forgot.” He stole a peek at Jessie and grinned.
Jessie laughed. “Dude, you’re a goon sometimes.” He ruffled Troy’s hair. “We still going boating today, or what? I didn’t fill up the boat with gas this morning for nothing, right?”
“Yeah, sure.” When had he done that? Before or after the blowjob? Troy allowed himself to look at him fully, widening his eyes. His gaze fell to his thick lips, the way they bowed down, exposing his teeth. Jessie had bitten that lip when he came. Heat flickered up his spine. Stop thinking about that. “So, let me throw on my swim trunks and we’ll go.”
“Sure.” Jessie placed his hand on his hip, then blew his bangs off his forehead.
Troy sat in the black vinyl passenger seat of Jessie’s Trans Am, peering ahead of him at the convenience store. He had to stay focused and figure this thing out. So far Jessie was acting completely normal. So he must not know that I saw him. Maybe it was best if he didn’t say anything. Saying something would only embarrass Jessie, and that wasn’t cool. But is he gay?
“So, we’ll get some beer and snacks and then go and get the boat at the marina.” Jessie slapped Troy’s arm. “You hearing me?”
Troy jumped and blinked. “Yeah, I heard you.” Damn, he had to pay attention. He got out of the car and met him at the glass doors to the store.
Jessie opened the door and swung his arm. “After you.”
“Thanks.” Troy stepped inside and perused the rows of snacks and sundries, the tall glass refrigerated drink coolers at the back. His gaze caught on a rack of skin mags at the front of the store. That’s it. He should get one. They could look at it together and he’d see how Jessie reacted to it. If it gave Jessie a hard-on, then he’d know he wasn’t gay and whatever he saw was... whatever. He could put it to rest. But could gay dudes get boners from nude chick pictures? No... this will work. He furrowed his brows.
Jessie walked through a row of snacks, picking up a bag of potato chips. “I’ll grab us some sandwiches. You want Schlitz beer again?” He stepped to the coolers.
“Sure.” Troy strode to the skin mags and searched over the titles. Playboy , too tame. He needed something more erotic than that. He had to be sure it would be enough to give him a hard-on. He picked up a Hustler in one hand and a Penthouse in the other, attempting to peek under the wrapper hiding the image on the front.
Jessie came up behind him and rested his chin on Troy’s shoulder. “What you looking at?”
Troy startled and turned around, facing him. “Uh, just thought, you know, we could have some fun with these while we’re out.” Would he buy it, or think it was too weird?
Jessie peered at the magazines. “Somebody horny?” He gave him a coy grin and lifted a brow.
Troy released a choked chuckle. “N-no, I just thought it would be fun to look at while we’re out. That’s all.” What would he think about this? If Jessie didn’t want to bring the magazine, would that mean he was gay?
Jessie’s gaze fell to Troy’s mouth and he licked his lips. “Sure. Get the Hustler. That one’s better.”
“Okay.” Troy slid the Penthouse into its place on the shelf. Okay, so he must look at these if he has a preference, right? That would make him not gay. Then why would he let a dude blow him? He pursed his lips.
“Troy.” Jessie stood at the counter with a female cashier in a red t-shirt, their food now bagged. “Get over here with that, so I can pay.”
“Yeah, sure.” Troy walked to the counter and set the magazine on it, then stared out the glass doors of the store, heat flushing his face.
The cashier rang them up and Jessie paid.
Jessie came close, whispering in his ear. “Your face is redder than her shirt, man. You embarrassed to buy a skin mag?”
“Stop it.” Troy forced a smirk and grabbed bags from the counter. “You bought ice, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll get the beer, you grab the ice.” Jessie seized a twelve pack from the counter and strolled out the doors of the store, snickering.