Chapter 5
five
A fter parking the Trans Am in front of the log-sided building housing The Commander , Jessie, Troy, and Donna stepped out of the car and walked to the bar entrance under a gray, overcast sky.
Troy followed him through the glass door, his sister trailing behind them.
Gary jumped from a seat at a low four-top table, straightened his tight shirt over his bell-bottom jeans, and sauntered to Jessie, his arms wide. “Good to see you, man.” He wrapped Jessie up in a tight embrace.
Jessie hugged him back, slapping his hands on Gary’s back, then released him. “Hi.” He gave Gary a shy smile, glancing at the floor.
Troy’s chest tightened. He didn’t like this already. Even a hug looked indecent. He stepped between them, holding his hand out. “Hi, Gary. I’m Troy. We met on the dock.”
“Oh, yeah.” Gary ripped his gaze from Jessie to focus on Troy. He shook his hand.
As Troy freed Gary’s hand, he stepped aside, bumping into Jessie’s chest. “This is my sister, Donna.”
Jessie snatched Troy’s arm, steadying himself. “Watch it.”
She stepped to Gary and smiled at him. “Hi.” She waved.
“Hi, nice to meet you, Donna.” Gary tipped his head to her.
Jessie pushed Troy to the side. “So, drinks and then a game of pool?”
“Yeah, I saved us a table.” Gary pointed to the nearest pool table, the only one empty of people.
“Right on.” Jessie glanced at Troy, then caught Gary’s arm and walked over speckled linoleum to the wooden bar at the back of the room.
Under his breath, Troy said, “Fuck.” He’d already lost him. Why wasn’t Donna doing her job? He sucked in a deep inhale and jogged to the bar.
“What do you want, Troy?” Jessie glanced at him.
“Schlitz.” Troy wedged himself between Gary and Jessie. He smiled at each of them.
Donna walked up behind Jessie and pressed her front against his back. “Get me a Bud, Jessie.” She beamed at him.
Good, now we’ve got him surrounded. Troy smirked.
Jessie ordered everyone’s beers and paid after the bartender dropped them off. “So, Gary and I against you and Donna, Troy?” He picked up his beer and strode off to the pool tables.
“Cool.” Gary walked after Jessie, with Donna following.
Troy sighed and gulped his beer. This sucked. Jessie had his little harem following him all over the bar, and it looked silly for him to be one of them. He should tone it down and see what happened. He hung his head and ambled to the pool table, then took a seat at a tall stool next to the wood-paneled wall, setting his beer on a shelf that ran the length of it.
As Gary and Jessie bantered and set up the balls in a triangular rack, Donna stood next to Jessie, watching them both, drinking her beer.
Gary leaned into Jessie’s side, held his hand over his mouth and whispered into Jessie’s ear.
Jessie’s face flushed and a coy smile spread over his mouth.
Troy’s gut clenched. What kind of sordid comment had come out of Gary’s mouth? Was he planning the next blowjob? He needed to put a stop to it. He took a few gulps of beer and walked to them. “So, are we ready to play?”
“Yeah, get a stick. You want to break?” Jessie sipped his beer.
“Sure.” Troy walked to a rack of cues hung in a holder on the wall and yanked one down, then went to the pool table and set his beer on the edge. He bent over, one hand curled around the cue, the thinner end nestled between his thumb and first finger, drew back, and smacked the balls.
The balls cracked and scattered.
“Oh, good one, Troy.” Donna grinned at him.
Troy glanced at Jessie, straightening.
Jessie gave Gary the once over, smiling at him.
Troy tapped Jessie with the pool cue. Jessie didn’t have to be so obvious. “Hey. Pay attention.” He stepped away from the table.
“Oh, yeah, good one.” Jessie lifted his brows.
“I’ll go first, okay, Jessie?” Gary handed his beer to him, then leaned over the table with his cue and smacked the white cue ball, hitting a solid red ball into a corner pocket.
“Stellar, Gary.” Jessie slapped Gary on the ass, then glanced at Troy, his smile fading.
Pain pricked at Troy’s heart. It looked like maybe Jessie was doing the fake flirting thing with Gary, except maybe it wasn’t fake. Did Jessie like Gary that way? If he does, what were we doing yesterday? He frowned.
Gary lined up another shot but missed. “Damn. Your turn, Donna.”
As a smirk swept over Donna’s mouth, she bent over the table with a cue stick in her hand. “Jessie, can you show me how to do this?”
Jessie narrowed his eyes at her. “Why don’t you ask Troy?”
She pouted. “I want you do to do it.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him.
“Fine.” Jessie came behind her and wrapped his arms around hers, then adjusted her cue to the cue ball, bringing his head close to her cheek, placing his hands over hers. “Just pull back a little bit.”
She shifted, pressing her ass into his groin.
Jessie freed a soft gasp and tipped his head.
Troy snickered. There you go, Donna. Get him away from Gary.
“Uh, just pull back a little bit.” He drew the cue back with her, then slid it forward.
The cue ball clapped into a blue and white striped ball, then fell into a corner pocket.
She squealed and straightened, then turned and wound her arms around Jessie’s waist. “Look, we did it.” She kissed his cheek.
Jessie dropped his mouth open.
Gary pressed his lips together and crossed his arms over his chest.
“So, you can take it from here, right?” Jessie attempted to free himself.
With her hands moving to Jessie’s sides, she said, “How about this? For every ball I get in by myself, you’ll kiss me like you did last night, okay?”
Jessie widened his eyes. “What? No.” He huffed and removed her hands from his waist.
Perfect, Donna. Way to show Gary. Troy burst out laughing. “Dude, why not? You seemed to enjoy it last night.” This was going well. The thought of Donna kissing Jessie wasn’t nearly as bad as Jessie flirting with Gary.
Gary scoffed. “I need to take a piss.” He stomped off toward the restroom hallway next to the bar.
“Shit.” Jessie gnawed on his lip and watched Gary. “Uh, I need to piss, too.” He moved Donna to the side and strode off.
Troy glanced at Donna. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” He jogged after Jessie. No way was he going to let them be alone together in a men’s restroom.
“What did I do?” Donna called out.
As Troy approached the brown, metal restroom door, he drew a deep inhale, bracing himself. Last thing he wanted was to walk in on Gary and Jessie getting it on again. He slapped the door open.
Jessie stood in front of Gary at a back wall of wood paneling. He twisted, lifting his brows, biting his thumbnail, and said to Troy, “What are you doing in here?”
Gary, leaning against the wall, released a heavy sigh.
Troy narrowed his eyes. “Had to take a piss.” He stood at a urinal hung on a white tile wall. Good thing he’d come in. “I thought you both had to do the same?”
“Yeah, well...” Jessie glanced at Gary, then stepped to the urinal.
Gary rolled his eyes and walked out of the restroom. “I’m done in here.”
“Not going to wash up?” Troy sniggered. Got the bastard.
Gary slammed the door open and left.
Jessie did his business. “Why did you bring Donna, really?”
Troy finished up and tucked himself into his shorts, doing his best not to peek at Jessie’s thick cock. He needed a good answer. He furrowed his brows. “I uh, well, you wanted to play pool. You really need an even number of people for that.”
Jessie finished and fastened his jean shorts. “We could have taken turns.” His gaze flicked to Troy, then to the plain sinks and counter. He stepped to the sink and washed his hands.
Troy went to the sink next to Jessie’s and cleaned up. “So, who is that Gary dude, really?”
Jessie snapped his brows together, glaring at the sink. “I told you already.”
A hot knot coiled in Troy’s gut. There was more, way more to the story. “Okay. How about we stop the bullshit right now.” He faced him.
Jessie’s gaze met his. His eyes grew glassy, and he wrinkled his forehead. “H-he’s just a guy I met at a bar in the Twin Cities.” He turned his head and rubbed his eyes. “I thought you weren’t going to freak out on me.”
“I’m—I’m not.” Troy glanced at a green stall to the left of them. What does that have to do with this? He focused on him.
“Just leave it alone, okay?” Jessie freed a held breath and pursed his lips. “Let’s just have some fun before we have to go home for dinner.”
“Okay. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to upset you that much.” Now he felt like an ass. He hooked an arm around Jessie’s shoulder and pulled him into his chest for a side hug. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Jessie let a faint grin play on his lips. “We left Donna with Gary.”
“Maybe she’ll start liking him and leave you alone?” Troy released Jessie and smiled at him.
Jessie shook his head. Under his breath, he said, “She’s not his type.” He walked out of the restroom.
Troy watched the green foliage and trees rush by the open window of the Trans Am from the passenger seat, the humid breeze blowing his hair off his face. The rest of the afternoon had been tense between them. Thankfully, Donna had only gotten a few quick kisses out of Jessie, but at least Gary had backed off. Troy glanced at Jessie, his gaze focused on the road, his lips pressed together. He was looking more and more pissed the closer they got to home.
Jessie pulled the car in to his cabin and turned off the engine.
Troy opened the door, got out and flipped the seat up. “Here you go, Donna.”
She crawled out of the back seat, glanced at Jessie, then looked at Troy. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. Why don’t you go help Mom with dinner?” Troy tilted his head at their cabin.
“Okay.” She jogged off.
“You ever going to get out?” Troy focused on Jessie.
Jessie clenched his jaw. “We need to talk.” He popped the door open and slammed it shut.
Troy closed his car door and sighed. “Okay. What?”
Jessie stomped around the car and seized his arm, then hauled him across the drive and down a path between the trees. He stopped, glaring at him. “What was that all about today?”
Troy yanked his arm free. “I don’t like that Gary dude.” He stared at the dirt and weeds lining the path. There, he’d admitted it to him.
“Why? What did he ever do to you?” Jessie ducked to peer into his face.
“It’s not what he did to me, it’s what he did—” Oh, shit. Shut up. Troy inhaled deeply, attempting to right his head. He needed a better answer than the truth.
“What he did to who?” Jessie scowled and straightened, then paced down the path, raking a hand through his hair, and came back. “What’s going on here, Troy?”
Troy looked him in the eyes, his heart pounding in his chest. “You tell me.” Did he really want to go there? Yes, it was time he heard it from Jessie’s mouth.
Jessie scanned the small patch of forest around him, as if there were an answer hidden in it somewhere. Finally, he shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” He waved his hands. As he focused on Troy, he jabbed at his chest with an index finger. “It would help if you would quit being so... so... fucking confusing.” He paced in a circle on the path and stopped, then kicked a rock into the underbrush, growling. “Am I making any sense?”
“Yeah. Except I’m not the one who’s confusing. You are.” Troy studied him, his gut clenching. This was getting bad.
“How am I confusing? Huh?” Jessie lifted his brows, his blue eyes burning with anger. “I didn’t bring a fucking skin mag on the boat to jerk-off to and then the next day invite my sister to kiss you in a bar.”
Troy’s breath caught. His heart skipped. He stared at Jessie. I didn’t jerk off with you and then the next day flirt at the bar with a guy who gave me a blowjob. He clenched his teeth. The words were right there, but fuck if he’d say them. This was too heated. He needed to back off. He needed to think before he said something that might end their friendship. “I’m out. Later.” He stomped down the path and to his cabin, an ache building in his chest. He clutched at his t-shirt over his heart as he walked, biting his lip, the corners of his eyes stinging with the threat of tears. It was time to come clean with himself. He wasn’t acting normal. His friendship with Jessie might have ended with the blowjob. It was something else now, and not because of Jessie.
He walked into the cabin, barely seeing his mother and sister in the kitchen, his father and brother on the couches. He didn’t hear them talking. He marched over the shag rug into his bedroom, shut the door, and flopped onto his bed under the window, stuffing his face into a pillow. He wouldn’t cry. Not yet. There was nothing to cry about yet. They just had an argument. It would blow over. He’d figure this out. He had to.
Troy lay on his bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, tiny specs making shadows across it from the late evening light coming in through the window. His gut churned. His mother had insisted he eat at dinner, even though he wasn’t hungry.
He listened to every car as it started up or drove by. If Jessie’s car started up outside, should he run out there? What if Jessie decided to go visit Gary tonight? Pain pierced his heart. Yes, he’d run out there. He’d throw himself in front of the car, if it came to it. He wouldn’t let Jessie go to Gary. He turned to his side and tucked a hand under his pillow. He needed to think things through. The last two days had been a mess. He grinned as his mind went back in time, running through the first summer he’d spent up here. He’d been five. His parents had just bought the cabin. Jessie had been standing outside with a yellow metal dump truck in the dirt. He’d run to him and asked him to play as soon as he’d stepped out of his parent’s car. That was how it all started. Every summer, for the month of July, he got to come up here and play with Jessie. If he was lucky, their parents would get together down in the Twin Cities area, either in Minnetonka or in Fridley, and they’d be able to see each other outside of July.
Then they’d started driving. Jessie had got his license first, and the first thing he did was drive to Fridley to visit Troy. That first drive in a car with Jessie was magical. He’d felt so grown up. They borrowed Mr. Smith’s Cadillac. They’d played Led Zeppelin. His chest warmed. They’d been to the local DQ and got banana splits, both of them. He’d got one because Jessie liked them. His eyes widened. Had there been girls that night? He rolled onto his back and sighed. Yeah, there had been girls. Jessie had kissed one of them. So, how could Jessie be gay? Had he cared back then if Jessie was kissing a girl? He couldn’t remember. What he did remember was always being a little bit happier whenever Jessie was around. Always a little flutter in his chest the first time he saw him after being apart. And now there was only a dull ache.
Where was Jessie now? Was he feeling the same way? He couldn’t remember a time they’d ever argued like this. They’d certainly never been up here without spending every possible moment together. This time in July was too special to waste. He sat up in the bed, his arms straight behind him, staring at the bed against the other wall.
What was Jessie’s deal? He said I confused him. Me. But how? It sounded like Jessie had accused him of bringing the skin mag to jerk off together. Okay. He had expected both of them to get hard-ons, but... His eyes widened. If Jessie was gay, that might look like an invitation. Was I inviting him? Damn, the way my dick reacted to him coming at the marina was not normal, was it? Could someone like chicks and dudes at the same time? He had no idea. He’d never been exposed to something like this.
He sighed and lay down on the bed, wrapping his fingers over his stomach. The big question then was— do I like Jessie in a romantic or sexual way? When he thought about Jessie with Gary, he might have been jealous. Okay. When he saw Jessie come, he was definitely turned on. Okay. A hot shiver raced over his spine and lodged in his cock. Thinking about it now apparently still turned him on. But I like chicks... Don’t I? He furrowed his brows.
“What the hell are you thinking about in here?” Donna burst in, sucking on a red popsicle and laughing. “Dude, you had the funniest look on your face.”
“Shut up.” He rose on an elbow, glaring at her.
She stepped in and sat on the edge of the bed on the far wall. “Why aren’t you and Jessie out somewhere getting high?”
“What? We don’t get high.” He scoffed. How would she know that?
“That’s such bunk.” She shook her head, her long, blonde hair gliding over her shoulders, then narrowed her eyes at him. “So, tell me, what are you two having a lover’s quarrel about?”
With a snarl, he flung his pillow at her.
She squealed and ducked. “Damn, hit a nerve?”
He sat on the edge of the bed, flinging his legs over the side. Maybe she could provide a new perspective. “Let me ask you something.”
“Okay, shoot.” She straightened, lifting her brows.
He drew a deep inhale. He had to be careful with how he worded the question. “What did you think about Gary?”
She shrugged. “He’s okay.” She curved a brow. “You seemed to hate him.”
“That obvious, huh?” He freed a puff of air.
“Yeah, you kept staring at him. Like you wanted him to die.” She grinned. “Why do you hate the guy so much?”
He rocked, then huffed and fell to his side. That was not something he could tell her. “I don’t know. Just rubs me the wrong way, I guess.” So, if he hadn’t seen the blowjob, he probably wouldn’t have had a problem with Gary either. His hatred was wholly based on the fact that Gary had got it on with Jessie. Which went back to... why?
Her grin faded. “So, you two are still friends, right? You and Jessie?”
“Yeah.” For now, anyway.
Troy woke to a knock at the front door. He fluttered his eyes open and sat up in bed, then looked around the room. The covers on his brother and sister’s beds were crumpled, but no one was inside them. What time was it? He’d been up half the night thinking, so no wonder he was the last one up.
The sounds of the door opening snaked into the room.
From the other room, his mother said, “Oh, hi, Jessie. Come on in.”
Jessie’s here? He scrambled out of the covers, then dove into his dresser and skimmed a pair of tan corduroy shorts up his legs.
Jessie knocked on the open door and entered the room. “Knock, knock. You up?” He wore a red and white striped shirt and jean shorts.
“Now I am.” Still bent over the dresser drawer, Troy looked up at him bare chested.
Jessie took him in fully, his eyes widening, then sat on the bed and frowned. “I came to apologize.”
“You did?” Troy stood frozen. What should he do? Put on his shirt?
“Come sit.” Jessie patted the rumpled bed covers next to him.
Troy stepped to the bed and sat next to him, studying him. Jessie’s eyes were a little swollen and red. Either he hadn’t slept well, or he was already high. He whispered. “You toking this early? Your eyes are pretty red.”
Jessie scoffed and turned his face away from him. “I, uh, didn’t sleep well.”
“Oh, me neither.” Troy untangled his hair with his fingers.
“Really?” Jessie looked him in the eyes, chewing the inside of his mouth. “Guess we both were pretty upset by what happened yesterday, then?”
“Yeah.” Troy nodded and slumped his shoulders. Upset might have been an understatement.
“Anyway, I came by because I wanted to say that I’m sorry.” Jessie wrinkled his brows. “I shouldn’t have said... that thing I said.”
Why was Jessie always the one apologizing? “No, I’m sorry. I acted like a dick yesterday to your friend.” Troy bit his lip. “And to you.” It was only fair to let Jessie know what was going on with him. But how to say it? “Jess, I uh... I’m not freaking out, okay?” He gazed deeply into his blue eyes. Would he understand what he was saying? What he was thinking was not something he could just come out and say. How do I tell my best friend, who might be gay, that I might have a thing for him?
Jessie’s forehead creased. “You aren’t?”
“No. I’m, I’m just figuring things out.” He straightened, taking a deep breath. Was there more to say? He didn’t want to say something stupid. “Are we cool?”
“Yeah, we’re cool, man.” Jessie bumped their shoulders, grinning. “Shit, I was worried I’d lost you.” He wrinkled his brows.
“You’ll never lose me. I told you that.” Troy draped an arm around his shoulder and gave him a side-hug.
“So, get cleaned up, have some breakfast, and let’s go do something.” Jessie laid his head against Troy’s shoulder for a second. “I don’t want to go watch the parade with the family. Know what I mean?”
Troy released Jessie. “Yeah, I know what you mean. How about frisbee at the chapel field?”
“Right on.” Jessie grinned at him.