Chapter 25
Skylar finished her smoothie as she tried to get her head on straight. Words were repeating in her head, but not the ones she tried to avoid. No, she kept hearing Damon’s surprisingly tough voice saying he didn’t share.
She fucking loved that. It made her feel safe.
Which was stupid. She didn’t need a man to feel safe. She controlled what did or didn’t happen to her.
Still, the possessive side of Damon Lynch was sexy as hell.
The elevator dinged, and she scrambled up from the couch to glare at her manager.
“Took you long enough,” Skylar said, stomping over.
“Indeed.” Mandy clutched at her bag. “Being fired is less than an efficient process.”
Skylar froze. “What?” Her mind couldn’t make sense of the words.
Mandy smiled at her. “I expected it, Skylar. It’s not a concern.”
“Fuck that.” Skylar’s lips went numb. “I told you to fucking let me come to the meeting. I’ll call Casemore.”
“You can, but I refuse to receive a paycheck from him or his company ever again.” Mandy’s eyes were dead serious behind those glasses of hers.
“Wait, did you quit?” The idea of it sapped Skylar’s anger. Mandy didn’t want to be her manager anymore. Skylar’s throat tightened. She should have expected it. Mandy had had her suspicions before, but what Jack had said had probably clenched it.
“Don’t worry about me, Skylar.” Mandy’s tone had turned soothing. “We should talk, though.”
“Why bother? I get it. I’m not your problem anymore.”
Mandy shook her head. “You’ve never been a problem, Skylar.”
She snorted. “Sure. I’m a mess. You’re more than aware of that.”
Mandy crossed her arms. “You’re a creative and beautiful person who’s often shit on. That’s what I’m aware of.”
Skylar blinked. “You said shit.” Her manager rarely cursed. Or ex-manager.
“Just sit the hell down,” Mandy snapped, pointing at the couch.
Skylar sat.
Mandy perched on the cushion across from her. “I needed to cut ties with the label in order to offer you the advice I’ve been wanting to. For a while now, actually.” She took a breath. “Skylar, you need to tell Casemore and his label to go fuck themselves.” Her smile returned. “Just like I did.”
“You did not say that to them.” Skylar wondered if she’d ever understand the suddenly less-than-professional woman in front of her.
“Well, not in those words. I’ve been reviewing your contract, and—”
“It’s not that simple.” The words dripped out of her numb lips.
“Of course not.” Mandy reached out, but when Skylar stiffened, she let her hand drop. “You’ll need a good contract lawyer to verify the best path forward, but from my review, you may be able to pull your next planned album from them and use it to launch your career fresh.”
“It’s not about my fucking career!” Skylar’s nerves would no longer let her sit. The pings from the zippers on her boots echoed in her ears as she paced. “It’s to keep Jack’s goddamn mouth shut.”
Sorcha had thrown her, doing an interview like that, but even while she’d been trying to degrade her, she’d spun it the way Skylar preferred. She was the one that satisfied as many men as she wanted. She wasn’t weak and pathetic while a bunch of guys forced her body to obey their whims. Her hands shook, and she curled them into fists. Jack had threatened to tell the world how much she enjoyed every fucking second of it. Only his father had stepped in. “No. I won’t fucking have it! No one needs to know.”
Mandy rose from the couch, tracking her continued pacing with those steady eyes. “Skylar, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“You don’t know.” Skylar’s breath hitched as her head began to pound. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Orgasms during rape are more common than anyone discusses. The statistics are skewed due to—”
“I’m not a fucking number!” Skylar crouched where she was, her hands moving up to her aching head. She should have been better than that. If she hadn’t taken the stupid drugs, she could have regained control. She knew she could have.
“I’m sorry, Skylar.” Mandy hovered beside her, hands raised but not touching her. “We don’t have to talk about it. I still think therapy—”
“I’ve heard it all, okay?” Mandy had been pushing her ever since she’d walked in on that one panic attack. Skylar preferred dealing with it herself instead of shaking in front of some counselor. “It’s the whole tickle thing. You can hate being tickled, but you’re still going to laugh. It’s so fucking stupid.” She stared down at one of the zippers on her boots. “I’ve been handling it, but I need it to not fucking come up.” And she was certain Jack’s father would keep him in check, out of business sense if not sentimentality.
“Do you truly believe this choice gives you control, Skylar?” Mandy asked.
“Fuck off. I—” Her lungs seized as reality hit her. Skylar’s body shuddered as her heart raced. She couldn’t say it, not with her lack of air. No, she wasn’t in control. She’d given Casemore all the cards. Handed them to him with a smile. She couldn’t breathe.
“I’m here, Skylar. Deep breaths. You can do this.” A hand began rubbing her back.
The laughter in her head caused the pounding to return, and her heart raced.
“Should I call Damon?” Mandy asked.
The rubbing on her back became soothing when she imagined Damon doing it. Her head continued to pound, but she managed to suck in a bit of air. What had he said earlier? The laughter faded. The voices she hated didn’t appear. Instead it was his, saying he didn’t share.
And a melody that took up the rest of the space in her head.
Her body relaxed after long minutes of taking breaths. She collapsed to her side, letting her cheek rest on the carpet as the final shakes faded. Her eyes found Mandy’s figure beside her. Her former manager had tears running down her face.
“I’m sorry.” Mandy continued to cry.
“It happens.” Skylar couldn’t shrug properly where she rested. “I’d kind of been holding it off from earlier.”
Mandy frowned, wiping at her face and smearing her glasses. “The panic attacks have been happening more frequently. I thought it was because you finally realized, and I was hoping to push you that one step further.” She removed her glasses, using her shirt to wipe at them. “I shouldn’t have pushed. It’s not my place.”
“I’d say.” Skylar fumbled the aroma vial out of her pocket. “You’re not even my manager anymore.” The scent of elderflowers was soothing, but she kind of wished it was cotton and sunshine instead.
“About that. I was hoping you’d hire me yourself.” Mandy flushed when Skylar stared at her. “I understand if you’d rather—”
“Can I afford you?” Skylar asked. “I always figured you were hella expensive.”
“You never spend money. You prefer to make the label pay for everything.” Mandy fumbled her glasses back on. “It’s the one revenge tactic I approved of, to an extent.”
Skylar’s legs stretched out as she rolled to her back. She wasn’t ready to sit up quite yet. “Why now?” She frowned. “It was the meeting yesterday, wasn’t it? What Jack said?”
“The way you caved in his balls made me want to cheer, but no, it’s Damon, actually.”
“Damon?” Skylar scowled up at the ceiling. “Like, what, I need a guy to do this?”
“You only need yourself, Skylar.” Mandy sighed. “I’d love to talk about guys with you, but it’s not him, not exactly. I meant more the possibilities the media popularity has provided. Even the Casemores want to use it. My preference is for you to use it for yourself.”
Skylar frowned. “It’ll take longer than that if I do this contract-breaking thing. I agreed to publicly break it off with Damon when we go our separate ways on tour.”
“Cancelling your tour might be best as you figure out your contract. Besides, are you certain breaking up is what you both want?” Mandy narrowed her eyes on her. “You’re not convincing me that there isn’t something real there now.”
Skylar hadn’t let herself think about what would happen in a few days. Time apart would let her prove to herself she wasn’t addicted to him, despite how much she hated the idea. “True. He kind of said we’d have to be exclusive if I want to fuck him again.” Well, he’d left the ‘fucking’ term out of it. “Blew up about a threesome idea that Jimmy pitched.”
“I was going to talk to him about his manager.” Skylar had never seen Mandy scowl before. “You didn’t do anything with him, did you?”
“He’s not my type.” Though it was more that Skylar only wanted one person.
“It seems they’ve been together for a while, but my impression of his manager isn’t favorable at this point.”
Skylar frowned as she considered Damon’s manager. He was a bit of a dick, but besides Damon, all men were dicks. Mr. Sweetface was something apart. She snorted as she remembered his idea to have Muscles punch Jimmy. There’d be no way he’d actually ask him to do that.
“The girls’ night out is this evening. Is there anything I can do for you before that?” Mandy stood, brushing herself off.
Skylar sat up. “Can we really do this? You know, you be my manager before I figure out that contract shit?”
“I’ll work pro bono for now. It will give me time to create a professional contract between the two of us.” Mandy’s stern face was back. “You always need to protect yourself, Skylar.”
“I know that.” She wanted to be in charge of her own destiny, for real this time. Completely in control. “Thanks and shit, okay?”
“You’re welcome and shit.” Mandy smiled. “I believe in you, Skylar. You’re amazing.”
Skylar’s cheeks were doing that burning thing she hated. Maybe, between Damon and Mandy saying it, she’d start believing it herself again.
Damon reached over. Trenton’s daughter’s hair was as soft as he remembered. “I pictured this whole guys’ night a little differently.”
They’d ended up at Trenton’s place. The house he and Celia had bought together was nice and homey. The same couch that had been in the condo was there, as well as some other things, including the colorful paintings Trenton’s first wife had made, but new items that Damon had never seen before were also spread throughout, including lots of baby things.
Trenton chuckled, his daughter’s face scrunching from the movement even while she continued to sleep. “Sorry. My father caught a cold last minute, and my mother didn’t want to risk the little one catching it.”
“It wasn’t a complaint. The family life looks good on you, Trent.” His friend looked happy. Peaceful.
“But better on me, am I right?” Blake grinned at them even as his daughter wailed in his arms. The noise didn’t faze their friend, who was doing the walking-while-jiggling thing as he patted her. “Shhh, come on, baby. Daddy’s got you.”
Nicholas winced, leaning forward to pour another shot of tequila. “If bringing the babies was some ploy to convince me of the joys of children, it’s failing miserably.” He glanced at the small bundle Trenton still held. “Though I’m impressed yours can sleep through all this noise.”
“Her lungs are something, aren’t they?” Blake asked, his sappy expression holding.
Trenton leaned down to kiss his daughter’s head. “She’s always been a good sleeper, ever since we could finally bring her home from the hospital. Celia used to have a lot of anxiety about it. Even with the camera and sound monitor, she’d get up to go check if she was breathing throughout the night.”
“It’s better now,” Malcolm said, setting his own glass down. “Celia can get like that until she learns to trust things. She’s an amazing mother.”
“She is,” Trenton agreed. His smile had a hint of guilt that Damon knew would take time for him to get over.
“Fine, baby girl, here,” Blake said, foisting his still crying daughter onto Damon.
“Hey, man, I wasn’t ready.” Damon fumbled as he curled his arm to support the head like Trenton had taught him.
Blake blew out a breath. “Just sing to her already. That always works.”
Damon did as he was told. Singing a cappella always made him a little nervous, but it was his friends watching, which helped. He avoided the new song, but the lyrics of one of his older ones worked like a charm. The baby was asleep by the time he hit the second chorus.
“See? She’s a fan.” Blake laughed. “I’m already wanting to try for number two, but Katie said she’s not ready yet.”
Malcolm frowned at him. “Since you knocked her up before the honeymoon, I’m surprised my sister is letting you touch her at all.”
Blake shook his head. “She was the one—”
“You better not be telling me any sex details,” Malcolm warned. “Katie’s still my sister.”
“I also prefer fewer details. Erin tells me enough of what Katie shares with her.” Nicholas knocked back the tequila. “I know way too much in that regard about my secretary.”
“Katie brags on me, doesn’t she?” Blake asked with a wink.
Damon had been a little jealous of his friend when he’d first heard. It had always been Blake for Katie, though, despite his own long-ago crush. “Are you enjoying being a stay-at-home dad?” he asked.
“I love it. I still do a few odd jobs, but this time I have with her is precious.” Blake reached for his beer now that his hands were empty.
Damon wondered if that had been the plan all along, but it was hard to mind with a snuggling baby. He wasn’t ready yet, but he could picture having one of his own one day. He wondered if Skylar had ever wanted kids.
“Jami pulled up one of Skylar’s videos. The one with the crystal necklace.” Malcolm leaned toward him. “She mentioned you were hers and that any gifts fans sent were hers as well.”
“She said what?” Damon felt a chill.
“Were you aware she meant to taunt that secret admirer of yours?” Malcolm asked.
“No. She took the latest gift and mentioned making a necklace, but I never thought…” Damon bit his lip. The truth was, he’d forgotten about it.
“Are you worried about violence?” Trenton asked. He frowned. “There’s been no evidence of that, and the investigators I hired said it was more likely that it’s an admirer, despite the unusual way the gifts are given.”
“I don’t know about that.” Damon wished he wasn’t holding a baby so he could get up and pace. He hadn’t shared details of the latest gifts since the investigators and police had all given up. “The message before the crystal already mentioned Skylar.”
Malcolm and Trenton fell silent, glancing at each other.
“Are you still planning to break things off this week?” Trenton asked. “Isn’t that what you said the other night? That the fake relationship would end as you separated for your tours?”
Damon blinked. He hadn’t reconsidered the plan for the media. Nothing was fake about them anymore. His cheeks heated as the night before came back to him in vivid color. He might not be ready to confess his love to her, but he’d already told her he wanted to be exclusive.
“Well, well,” Blake said. “Our rock star is blushing.”
Malcolm sighed. “Ah, hell, don’t tell me I’m going to be a brother by marriage to another one of you.”
“It’s a little too soon for that, but yeah, we’re kind of a couple now,” Damon admitted. “Besides, you and Jami aren’t even engaged yet, are you?”
“No. I don’t plan to propose for a while yet.” Malcolm poured himself another drink. “I’m waiting until after she graduates. With how many classes she’s taking, that’ll be less than the typical four years, unless she decides to get a master’s.”
“I keep telling him to do it sooner,” Blake said. He downed the rest of his beer and held out his hands for his daughter. “Give her here.”
“Sure, take her when she’s quiet.” Damon’s arms felt much lighter without the baby there.
“I think the timing of the engagement is a perfect plan.” Trenton settled farther into the couch, his hands still cradling his baby to his chest. “If things had been different, you likely would have dated her through college back after high school.”
“Yeah, right.” Blake snorted. “With how often Mal got suspended, there was no way a college was going to take him.”
“I meant her college days,” Trenton said.
Blake was doing an automatic sway with the baby. “See? Even Trent agrees no college would have taken a brawler like you.”
“I never wanted to go anyway.” Malcolm smiled. “I’m content with my life just as it is.”
“Speaking of your brawler days, you up for knocking someone around?” Damon asked as he collapsed back onto the couch with a groan. “Jimmy has been a total ass about me and Skylar.” He flushed as his earlier anger toward his manager returned. “I mean, a vicious kind of ass. I never expected it from him.”
Malcolm shifted to pat him on his shoulder. “Take it easy. Jealousy can make someone ugly. You mentioned he had a crush on her for a long time. The fake relationship turning real probably threw him. You should talk to him.”
“Yeah, I have.” Only Damon’s talks hadn’t been going so well. He frowned as he remembered how he’d gone to Jimmy’s hotel room after leaving the suite. Jimmy had acted like Damon was the one in the wrong. Damon regretted the way he’d thrown out his true feelings for Skylar. That he thought he was in love with her. Jimmy had told him that was just his dick talking and laughed in his face. Damon was starting to realize just how many times he hadn’t liked his manager lately. Even before Skylar. Trying to make him serious about his work this past year had been tough. Damon’s tendency to avoid conflict had drawn things out. He’d have to get real with Jimmy the next time.
Damon reached for his own empty shot glass. “Sorry, this evening isn’t supposed to be about me.”
“Tonight has been fine. I mainly wanted to pamper Erin.” Nicholas smiled down into his glass. “She never usually lets me spend money on her, but she was very excited when the limo came.”
“And let the whole block know it, probably,” Damon said. His sister could never be very quiet.
“They also heard all about what she wanted to do with me in the limo.” Nicholas flushed.
“That’s my sister.” Damon poured himself another glass. “You always know what she’s thinking since she just says it.”
“Only sometimes her thoughts are completely unexpected.” Nicholas smiled down into his own empty glass. “My Mrs. Bryant is truly a treasure. I enjoy every moment with her.”
Damon laughed. “You really are in love with my sister.” The sappy smile gave it all away. He wondered if he wore the same one around Skylar already, and if he did, whether she would recognize it.