Finding Gwen

Chapter Three

“Matt, please.” My words came out in a sob as one of his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, keeping me flush against him as he walked us to the middle of the living room. Stopping next to the couch, he pressed his dick into my back, making bile rise up the back of my throat. “Please, I don’t want this.”

His hand covered my mouth, using it as leverage to pull my head to the side. “Don’t lie to me, Gwen. We both know you love this.” I shook my head against his hand, the motion making him hold on tighter, forcing my neck backwards into a painful position. “Stop playing hard to get, baby. We both know you’re going to forgive me, like you always do. You’re nothing without me.”

Matt’s arm on my waist loosened as he snaked his hand down my body to the bottom of my towel. What should I do? His hands on my body felt wrong. That submissive part of my brain wanted my body to give in so everything could be over.

No, Matt would never stop hurting me. I needed to fight.

Suddenly, I remembered the one self-defense class Ivy had dragged me to one weekend. The instructor’s words blaring in my mind. “Women have a lower center of gravity. If you’re pressed against someone, your back to their front, drop your body weight and lean forward. Easiest way to use the attacker’s own weight against them. Throw them off balance first if you can. Remember to sing. Solar plexus, instep, nose, and groin.”

If I could get Matt on his back, I probably had a chance of getting away. The bedroom locked from the inside and was closer than the front door. Praying Ivy would be home soon, I made my choice. Picking up my foot, I stomped down hard on top of Matt’s as my fist made contact with the sensitive spot between his legs.

“Fuck!” he yelled, his grip on me loosening. I grabbed his forearm with mine, mimicking Ivy’s stance from this morning, and leaned forward. Matt’s feet left the floor, his body weight on mine for a split second, before I bent forward completely and threw him over my shoulder. Matt landed with a thud in front of me, and a small smile formed on my lips at the sight of him lying flat on his back for the second time today.

He groaned as he curled into the fetal position, cradling his bruised manhood in his hand. I took the opportunity to run past him to the bedroom, just barely missing his outstretched arm as he attempted to grab my ankle, snagging the edge of the towel instead. Letting the towel go, I looked over my shoulder once I reached the door. Seeing Matt getting to his feet, I quickly shut and locked the door as he lunged toward me.

“You stupid fucking bitch!” The banging of his fists on the door had me looking around the room for something heavy I could put in front of it. Matt was a big man. He would be able to get through soon. Seeing nothing that I could easily move in front of the door, my mind started racing through the worst-case scenarios. If Matt got ahold of me now, there would be no escaping.

From outside the door, I heard a loud thud that had the bedroom door rattling, and I sank to my knees in panic. Forcing air into my lungs, I watched the door shake as someone tried to desperately get through. It was silent for a moment, and I made myself smaller just as the door swung open. I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face down.

“Oh, sweet pea…” That’s not Matt. Looking up, I saw Ivy crouching before me, her hands settling on top of mine. A small flat-head screwdriver stuck out from underneath her fingers, presumably what she had used to unlock the door. I looked around her to see Matt lying face down on the floor with my dad’s baseball bat next to him. My attention went back to Ivy, my brain registering her saying my name. “Gwen? Are you okay?”

I nodded my head and watched as she rose, grabbing her robe from inside her closet before she wrapped it around my shoulder. My legs shook as I stood, and Ivy helped me put my arms through the sleeves of the robe, securing the tie around my waist. I barely had a chance to glance at Ivy before she was pulling me against her for a hug. The panic that had been coursing through my veins melted away, my heartbeat slowly returning to normal.

A knock coming from the front of the apartment had us pulling apart. We sidestepped Matt’s unconscious body and made our way into the open living area. Two uniformed police officers with confused looks on their faces stood in the doorway, the front door wide open. Taking in the scene around me, I could only imagine what they must be thinking. Looking back at Ivy, we exchanged a look before we both simultaneously burst into laughter.

Several hours later, Ivy and I were seated in front of the coffee table with to-go containers of spaghetti and meatballs. Somehow, Ivy had convinced the owners of the Italian restaurant to deliver dinner to us, and I swear I saw her slip the delivery person a $50 bill. Honestly, she could have flashed her boobs and I wouldn’t have questioned it. The fact that I was eating my favorite pasta in the comfort of Ivy’s home was all I needed.

After the officers had called for an ambulance, one of them put Matt in handcuffs while the other took mine and Ivy’s statements. I learned she had checked her security camera after a dozen unanswered phone calls and saw Matt in the apartment. She had called 9-1-1, but was already on her way home. I recounted everything that had happened after I had gotten out of the shower while Ivy downloaded some of the images from her camera to send to the officer, corroborating my side of the story. There wouldn’t be any way for Matt to twist this story in his favor.

The officer assured me that Matt wouldn’t be getting out on bail anytime soon, as all but one of the judges were taking vacations. With the backlog of cases, he would be lucky to see the inside of a courtroom in the next month. That information should bring me a sense of relief. Instead, as I sat here with a mouthful of spaghetti, I was dreading what would come next.

“Alright, babes, before we watch our favorite morally gray man, we gotta talk about next steps.” Ivy took a large drink of her wine before sitting it down next to her food. “I told you my couch is always yours, and that hasn’t changed. But I also know you, and you’re already stressing about what to do next.” I had hoped we would be able to avoid any sort of conversation involving the shit show that was my life, but as Ivy sat there waiting for my response, I knew I was just delaying the inevitable.

“Well, I guess, first of all, I should decide what I want to do with his ring.” Looking down at my hand, I yanked it off before setting it down on the table between us. Why had I still been wearing the thing? Ivy picked it up, examining it closely.

“Let’s pawn it.” Shrugging, she placed the ring back down on the table.

“I can’t do that, Ivy!”

“And why not?” Wait, why couldn’t I? It wasn’t a family heirloom or anything. It was simply a piece of gaudy jewelry that Matt had probably put minimum effort into picking out for me. “You could use the money to start fresh somewhere.” The money would be nice. I didn’t have much saved up, and if I wanted to be able to get an apartment soon, I would need money for a deposit. Sighing, I resigned to the fact that my best friend was right.

“So step one, pawn my engagement ring. What next?” Even though that was a question I should have been answering for myself, I knew Ivy probably had some kind of plan being put together in her head as we spoke.

“Well, I know a woman in Chicago who runs a nanny agency. Her name’s Carol. I reached out to her today before my meeting started and raved about you. She’d love to interview you in person soon so she can find you a family that could be a good fit.”

“Chicago?” I gasped.

“Gwen, I think it would do you some good to get out of this state. I know you feel some kind of moral obligation to stay because of your parents, but I know they would have wanted you to go out and live your best life. You can’t do that here. Not with all the trauma you have experienced. It’s time to do something for you.”

My chest tightened at the mention of my parents. After the car accident that took both of them from me, I was a wreck. I did some really stupid shit and almost flunked out of college, but somehow, Ivy helped me snap out of it. Since then, I felt like I was always making decisions based on what I thought would make them happiest, not myself. They would have wanted to see their little girl married and settled down, so when Matt came along, I didn’t question things.

Now, what Ivy was saying had my heart doing somersaults. Could I possibly make a choice that would benefit me whether or not I thought it would have made my parents happy? I wanted to believe I could. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Ivy seemed surprised.

“Yes. You’re right. Maybe it’s time I start living the life I want to have, not the life I think my parents wanted me to have. So let’s talk to your friend.” Ivy proceeded to jump up and run to her bedroom. She ran back, stopping in front of me and bouncing on her heels while handing me an envelope. Taking it from her, I opened it as she sat down next to me. Looking inside, I saw a printed copy of an email confirmation for two plane tickets to Chicago for this weekend. Confused, I met Ivy’s enthusiastic gaze. “Wait, what are these?”

“I bought them last night after you went to bed. I had hoped I could whisk you off to Chicago for the weekend, so it would be easier to convince you to leave Matt. I didn’t anticipate him going psycho and doing all the hard work for me. Plus, when I talked to Carol today, she told me she had a couple leads for some jobs and could meet us for drinks Friday night and talk logistics. Plus, I don’t have any contracts keeping me in Pittsburgh. If you find a job, we can both move.” She paused, taking a second to breathe.

“Ivy, I don’t know what to say,” I hesitated, wanting to agree but still feeling unsure.

“You don’t have to say anything, babe. Even if Carol’s leads don’t work out, we can still have a fun weekend away from this mess.” Ivy was right. She always was. I launched myself at her, nearly knocking both of us over with the force as I hugged her tight.

“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I was grateful for my best friend and I needed her to know that. Ivy hugged me back, and for the first time in a long time, I actually had hope for the future.

Two days later, Ivy and I boarded a plane to Chicago and were sitting at a high top waiting for Carol in one of the low scale bars near the AirBnB we were staying in. Picking at my cuticles under the table, I took a minute to look around the bar, taking in what could potentially become a regular place for me if I moved to Chicago. As my eyes moved past the front door, it opened and in walked a woman who looked a little out of place. Dressed in a tennis skirt, with a matching quarter zip, I imagined her just coming from a country club. I looked at Ivy, who was waving to the woman from across the room.

“Carol! It’s so good to see you!” Jumping down, Ivy greeted the woman with a hug.

“Ivy! It’s been too long. I’m so glad you two decided to make a trip out here.” Carol seemed to be a genuinely happy person, offering me her hand with a wide smile on her face. “I’m Carol. You must be Gwendalyn.”

“Yes, but everyone calls me Gwen.” Taking her hand, I shook it while offering a small smile of my own.

“It’s so great to meet you. Sorry for the less than professional attire. I had a tennis lesson right before this, and it was easier to come straight here than to go home and change.” She offered up a small laugh while releasing my hand.

“I appreciate you taking the time to chat with me.”

“Of course! Let’s get straight to business so that we can enjoy ourselves afterward. Ivy filled me in on the basics of your situation. Are you hoping to start immediately, or do you want a little time to adjust first?”

“I can be flexible. Honestly, I’m ready for a change, sooner rather than later.” Ivy’s phone went off, interrupting me, and she quickly answered it. She slid down from her stool, whispering, “work.” I offered a thumbs up and a small nod before she headed outside to take her call.

Carol didn’t miss a beat, picking up right where she left off. “Well, depending on what you’re looking for, I have a lot of families looking right now. I do have a single dad who is a bit desperate for help. He’s got a two-year-old boy, who is just the sweetest thing. I could probably get you an interview tomorrow while you are in town. If the meeting goes well, we can talk about logistics regarding background checks and everything afterward.”

“I would love that. Are you sure?” I was surprised by Carol’s relaxed approach toward placing nannies with families. A first time meeting in a bar didn’t scream the most professional of interviews.

“Absolutely. I’ve known Ivy since we were kids. Any friend of hers is good in my book. Plus, I’ve been where you are.” Reaching out, she placed her hand on top of mine, her eyes suddenly going sad. “We’ve got to stick together. So, however I can help, I will.”

“Thank you, Carol.” I was blown away. In a matter of minutes, I had formed a deeper connection than I have with most people I’ve known my entire lifetime.

“I’m going to reach out to him real quick.” She gave my hand a squeeze before pulling out her phone and typing away. I was about to get up to check on Ivy when I saw her walk back inside.

“Everything okay?” I asked as she reached the table. She looked a bit confused by my question.

“Yeah, just my boss. Nothing crazy.” She waved her hand dismissively and I nodded my understanding.

“It’s done!” Carol enthusiastically puts her phone down on the table before looking my way. “Four o’clock tomorrow. His name is Anthony Marino. I’ll send you all the details, so no worries there.” Carol waved down a waitress as I stared at her, bewildered by the entire exchange. Ivy chuckled next to me. Given their history, it would make sense that she was used to this kind of behavior from Carol. When the waitress came over, she ordered three glasses of house red and the waitress happily obliged. Soon, we each had a glass in our hand.

“It can’t be this easy, can it?” I took a sip of wine, hoping that the anxiety I was feeling would settle with the alcohol. “Starting new? Finding myself again?”

“It can be if you let it,” Ivy said before taking her own drink. I guess we were about to find out.