Finding Her Strength (Sonoma #3)

24. Hope

24

HOPE

I t’s the butt crack of dawn, and I’ve never been more excited to be awake this early. Levi will be picking me up for our adventure in ten minutes. I am terrified... and ecstatic. I have no idea where we’re going. Levi refused to tell me, saying it would ruin the surprise. You’d think after what happened in my past, I would be freaking out over the unknown, but after our conversation last night, I fully trust Levi to keep me safe.

The one thing I’m most concerned about is spending the whole night together. Since the first time was an accident, I’m nervous about navigating this situation without looking like a total idiot. The man is seriously sexy, and I am… not. I don’t even know how to be sexy. Am I supposed to be?

This is going to be a nightmare.

Levi has completely turned my world upside down. He’s reached down into the darkest parts of my soul and pulled out all my secret desires. Things I never dared to dream about have suddenly been laid in front of me. They’re so close, within reach, all I have to do is say yes. And, God, do I want to say yes. I’ve never wanted anything more.

If I do go through with taking our relationship to the physical level, I’m going to need the courage to share my history with Levi. At least in the sex department. He deserves to know that part of my story. He deserves my whole story, but I’m not sure I’m ready to give it to him yet.

Levi’s headlights shine through the window as he pulls into my driveway. I grab my small overnight bag and walk out the front door, excitement buzzing through me. My smile is wide as Levi jumps out of his truck. He looks comfortable in loose-fitting jeans and a T-shirt, but it doesn’t give me any indication of where we’re going.

When I’m close, Levi takes my bag from my hands, placing it in the back seat next to his duffle. As soon as he turns back around, he scoops me into his arms for a hug, wrapping his arms around my waist. My arms naturally go around his neck, his spicy, cinnamon scent filling my senses.

“Good morning.” He grins down at me, and after a quick peck on the lips, he leads me around to the passenger side door, opening it for me to get in. He’s moving so quickly, I can barely keep up with him.

“Good morning,” I say when he’s in the truck behind the steering wheel. His excitement is almost palpable in the small space.

“Are you ready to get on the road?”

“I think so. Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?”

“Nope.” He twists around to back out of the driveway, sending me a wink as he does. All I can do is shake my head at him. I have no idea how he knew I would enjoy an adventure like this. We haven’t even gotten to our destination yet, and I’m already having more fun than I’ve had in a long time. It further proves how different Levi is from every other experience I’ve had before.

“What I can tell you is we’ll be on the road for a while, so I thought we could cue up the audiobook you sent me last night. ”

“Yes! Let me get it going.” I take Levi’s phone from his outstretched hand, clicking on the app to open the right book. I sent him a couple of great military romances with tons of action. The narrator is phenomenal, which is a bonus. A good narrator can make all the difference in the world.

The man’s voice blares over the speakers, starting right in on the action. The story follows a group of Navy SEALs as they fight bad guys across the ocean. It’s thrilling to listen to their adventures as they try to fight against the evil of the world.

As the story progresses, Levi grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers, and setting them on his lap. I went so long without being touched like this, I forgot how amazing it can feel. And I love that Levi doesn’t hesitate to touch me now. It makes me feel like he sees me as more than the broken girl he first met.

I also love how much he likes holding my hand. It’s almost as if he can’t stand not touching me, so he holds my hand to make up for it. I feel the same way about touching him. I want to be close to him always. His scent comforts me while his strong arms make me feel safe from the world.

The feeling has become addicting.

The narrator begins to read the first sexual encounter between the two main characters, and I realize how bad of an idea this was. I didn’t even think about how explicit these scenes are. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to listen to this while sitting next to the man I’ve started to have some seriously heady sexual fantasies about.

‘I can’t wait anymore, Heather. I need you now.’ Tom’s hands slide down Heather’s body in a sensual glide. He starts to take her clothes off, slowly revealing her silky skin. When she’s bare, Tom kisses down Heather’s body, pulling her taut nipple into his mouth .

Levi clears his throat as the narrator describes every aspect of Tom and Heather’s passionate encounter. My face is flaming as my body reacts to the erotic images the story paints. Normally when I read these scenes, I tend to be unaffected. They always feel so far removed from me.

But sitting next to Levi, every word from the story has my imagination picturing him doing the same moves, creating a fire in me so hot, I’m not sure how to tamp it down.

Apparently, it’s getting to Levi, as well, because he moves our joined hands from his lap to his lips. He presses his mouth against my knuckles, then gently bites them, nipping at the back of my hand with his teeth. I gasp, the sensation going straight to my core. I can’t take my eyes off the sight as the narrator ends the scene, picking up the next chapter.

“So, these are the books you enjoy. Very spicy.” Levi smirks at me with an eyebrow raised.

I pause the book, working to push past the embarrassment flowing through me. “Yes, but if I’m honest, those scenes have never affected me quite like that before.”

“Oh, really?” The wolfish grin on Levi’s face makes me laugh. “Care to elaborate?”

“No.”

“Come on! I need to know what was different about this one compared to the others. It was me, right?” He waggles his eyebrows, which makes him look ridiculous.

I shake my head, but he keeps pushing, pleading for me to tell him. Eventually, I give in, unable to handle how cute he looks when he’s pouting. “Fine! Yes, it was you. Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” He laughs. “Now that we’re being honest with each other, tell me, were you imagining me doing those things to you?” His voice goes deeper, lust punctuating every word. “Because I was definitely imagining doing them to you.”

I bite my lip as my heart rate increases. “Yes, I was thinking about you.” My boldness surprises me, but I’ve come to realize that’s the effect Levi has on me. He pulls out the characteristics I haven’t felt free enough to show.

“Good.”

I wait for him to ask what my thoughts were, fully expecting him to want to know everything. When he doesn’t say anything else, I look over at him. My eyebrows furrow as I take in his relaxed position. His hand is still holding mine, his thumb running across the back while it rests in his lap.

“That’s it?” I finally ask.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t want to know what I was thinking?”

“I have a guess, but no. I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to.”

My shoulders deflate a little. I’m even more confused now than I was a minute ago.

“Are you disappointed I didn’t ask?” Levi asks, amusement lining his face.

“Apparently, I am.” I huff out a laugh. I can’t keep up with myself. I would’ve been incredibly embarrassed to share what I was thinking with Levi. It also would’ve been an incredibly arousing experience that I’m a little sad I didn’t get to have.

“Well, maybe you can tell me later.” Levi gives me a gentle smile followed by a wink. I grin. His winks get me every time.

I press play on the audiobook again, and we both fall quiet, listening to the narrator continue the story. It still amazes me how Levi never does what I expect him to do. It’s like he knows exactly what will keep me at ease while pushing me out of my comfort zone at the same time. He also gives me the space to make my own choices despite his efforts to coax me out of my shell.

I know I’m likely to fall for this man quickly. If I haven’t already .

We drive for a couple more hours, our conversations bouncing between free-flowing and contented silence, reinforcing how comfortable I am with Levi. I’ve not once felt uneasy or worried about what we’re doing or where we’re going. I’m still not sure I can trust these feelings for certain, but I do know I can trust Levi to keep me safe, wherever we end up.

He finally pulls into the driveway of an adorably tiny cottage. The sun has risen fully, making the morning bright and cheerful. The air is cool, and the hint of salt in the breeze sends a buzz of excitement through me. I have a feeling I know exactly where Levi has brought me.

“The key should be in the lockbox on the door. Can you get it for me while I get our bags?”

“Sure.” I race up the tiny porch to unlock the box with the code Levi gave me. I get the door open right as Levi steps onto the porch. I’m brimming with anticipation, hoping he really did bring me to the beach like I’ve always wanted.

We walk through the door, the interior of the cottage confirming the beach vibe with its blue walls and seashell decorations. The living room is cozy with a small loveseat and chair facing a television. A half wall separates the kitchen and breakfast nook that’s only slightly bigger than my old apartment’s, and at the back of the house is a wall of windows looking out at the beautiful blue ocean.

Levi drops the bags at the bottom of the stairs at the back of the cottage. “You ready to go see the ocean for the first time?” He grins at me.

I squeal, unable to contain my excitement any longer. I race toward Levi, launching myself at him as he laughs, catching me around the waist. My arms wrap around his neck in a tight hold. “Thank you for bringing me here,” I whisper against his lips before kissing him like I’ve wanted to since he picked me up.

He takes over, sliding his tongue against mine, sending me into a whole other dimension. Without conscious thought, my legs wrap around his waist as his hands slide down my spine to grab my butt. Our kiss turns passionate, frenzied, our lust for each other skyrocketing.

Levi pins me against the wall, his body pressing tightly to mine. I can feel every muscle, ridge, and stone plane of his body, not to mention the steel rod in his pants pressing against my center. The fire coursing through me right now feels untamable. Like it’s going to incinerate me if I don’t get some relief.

I pull at the strands of his hair in my fingers, trying to direct Levi to do something more.

I have no idea what.

I just need more.