33. Levi
33
LEVI
M y hand slides across the bed, seeking Hope’s warm body. Instead, I find cool, empty sheets. As my eyes flick open, the room is still dark, the early morning light not quite bright enough to get rid of the shadows.
I stumble out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I make my way downstairs. A few lamps are lit, guiding me into the library, where I find Hope curled up in a chair, reading a book. Her dark hair is piled on her head, her knees tucked to her chest with my T-shirt stretched across them. I couldn’t love her any more than I do right now.
“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask quietly, making Hope jump a mile. Her book falls to the floor as her hand flies to her chest. “Sorry, I thought you heard me come in.”
She heaves out a big breath while giving me a half smile. “Um, no. I had a nightmare, so I decided to come down and read.”
I step into the room, kneeling on the floor in front of her chair. “I wish you’d have woken me up.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt your sleep. You’ve got a long day ahead of you. ”
“Next time, wake me up, love. I don’t mind.” I lean in for a kiss and get a small one in return. “I’ll go make some coffee.”
I walk into the kitchen, my thoughts swirling. Over the last few days, it feels as if Hope has been… regressing. She’s been a lot more closed off with her emotions, as well as startling at the smallest things, even if I try to avoid it. There’s even been a couple of moments where she’s flinched if I moved too fast, which she hasn’t done since we went to the beach.
I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she shrugs it off or changes the subject. I wish she’d be honest about what’s going on. I just want to be there for her, help her in whatever way I can. I also know I can’t push her too hard, so I’m waiting for her to come to me when she’s ready.
When the coffee is done, I take two cups upstairs, having heard Hope go up a few minutes ago. I set the cup down on the bathroom counter next to her with a kiss on her cheek, then step to my sink. We both get ready for our day, the silence continuing. It’s not awkward, but it is strained. I can feel the tension radiating off Hope. I wish I knew how to make it better for her.
I walk out of the bathroom and into the closet to throw on my work clothes. Hope comes in as I’m buttoning my jeans, a distant look on her face. Unable to help myself, I pull her into me, happy she comes willingly. Her forehead lands on my bare chest as she melts into my arms.
It’s these moments that remind me we’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out because this matters. We matter.
“When you’re ready, I’m here. I will always be here. No matter what,” I say into her hair, pressing my lips against her head. She squeezes me tight, and I soak in the moment. “I love you, Hope.”
“I love you, too, Levi.” She kisses my chest, then drops her arms to finish getting ready.
“I thought my house was a mess, but you’ve got me beat, man,” I say to Benjamin Crawford, the new veterinarian in town. He bought a disaster of an old farmhouse a few miles outside of town. He doesn’t even have a working kitchen right now.
“God, I know. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it. Mainly, get out of Mom and Dad’s house, whatever it takes.”
I laugh at the pained look on his face. “A little too close for comfort?”
“I love them, but, dude, I’m a grown-ass man. Having my mother smother me every day is about to kill me.”
“I would never be able to move back in with my mom, so I can imagine. We’ll get you fixed up in a few months, then you’ll be free as a bird.”
“If only that were true,” he mumbles, running his hand through his blond hair. From what I’ve heard from the gossip hens, his move home wasn’t his idea. His dad, Dr. Charles, has had some pretty serious health stuff going on, which forced him to retire as the chief vet at the Sonoma Animal Clinic. Ben moved back home to take over the clinic for his dad, and apparently, it was not his first choice.
“Give me a little bit of time, and we’ll get you set up. Let’s look at some of the design stuff.”
He nods his head, so I lead him over to the samples I keep in the bed of my truck. We go through all the options for his kitchen since we’re starting there first. Ben’s ability to pick matching designs is comically horrible, so he ends up giving me free rein. I lay out the ones I like the best for his farmhouse, and he gives me the go-ahead.
I won’t be here for all the renovations, but it’s nice to know Ben’s not going to give me grief about each tiny detail. There are so many homeowners who think they need to have a say in every single aspect. It ends up becoming a hindrance, making the renovations take longer than they should.
Knowing how laid-back Ben is about all of this will speed up the process, getting him into the house faster, which is his—and my—ultimate goal.
“If you’re looking for something to do, our group still gets together regularly to hang out. We’d love to have you join us sometime.”
“You and your brother still hanging with Todd Montgomery?”
“Of course. We’ve all partnered up at this point, but we still have a good time. Natalie Carlisle and Tucker James are actually together now if you didn’t know. You were in the same class as Tucker, right?”
“I was a year ahead of him, but I know who you’re talking about. It would be great to hang out with people my own age again. Mom’s friends are nice, but, you know…” His eyes widen as if he won’t survive another dinner surrounded by a bunch of meddling women.
“I definitely know.” I laugh. “We’ll take care of you, man.”
“God bless you.”
We finish going over renovation details, and after I check in with my crew, I head over to my house. A couple of my guys are already here working, which has sped up the renovations exponentially. Another month at this pace, and it’ll be finished. I haven’t broached the subject of moving with Hope yet. I was going to the other day, but with the weirdness going on between us right now, I don’t want to make things worse.
Right now, we’re in her house, in her bed, where she has control. If I asked her to move into the house with me, it could make her feel unbalanced. Since we’re already on shaky ground, there’s no reason to tip the scales more than they’re already tipped.
I honestly don’t mind. At this point, the only thing that matters is that she’s in my life at all. As long as I have Hope, it doesn’t matter where we live or what we do. She’s become my home.
“Everything okay?” I ask Michael, who is working in one of the guest bathrooms upstairs.
“So far so good, boss. We’re getting close to the finish line.”
“Thank God.” I grin at him. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be in the library.”
He nods his head, then goes back to laying tile. When I walk into the library, I make a game plan for my tasks. I’m refinishing the built-ins, sanding down the crown molding, and fixing the ladder rails. Despite being okay with not moving into the house right away, I can see Hope in here, curled up with a book in her hands. I can even see her cuddling with a little girl who looks just like her, reading story after story until she falls asleep.
It’s the dream I never thought I’d get to have. A dream I can see so clearly in my mind. One day, it’ll be a reality, and I’ll happily wait forever for it.
After I finish in the library, I decide to knock off a little early to pick up dinner for me and Hope. I’ve been craving a BLT from the café all day. Plus, Hope won’t have to worry about cooking tonight.
Walking my tools out to my truck, I dump them in the back. Having done this so many times in my life, it’s become something I could do with my eyes closed.
“You’ve got a great place here,” a voice calls from the sidewalk.
Turning, I find an older man looking up at my house. His salt and pepper hair is nicely styled, but his dark sunglasses hide a good chunk of his face.
“Thanks, it’s coming along nicely. It was a mess before I got my hands on it.”
“Are you a contractor? ”
“Yeah. I’m co-owner of JM Construction.”
“Do you have a business card? I recently bought a house in town and will need some help with renovations.”
I walk towards the man as I pull out my wallet from my back pocket to grab a card. After I give it to him, I hold out my hand. “I’m Levi Jackson. Give me a call anytime. I’d be happy to talk with you about what you’re needing.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Levi.” He peers at me for a moment as he shakes my hand, then grins.
I nod my head.
“I’ll give you a call sometime next week when I’m ready to chat.”
“Sounds good, man. Have a great one.” I head back up the driveway to finish packing my stuff. That was a bit of an odd encounter. People come up to our sites semi-regularly, though, so I shouldn’t be surprised. The guy was just a little weird, I guess. With my tools packed up, I get in my truck to head home. As I’m driving, I see the dude walking up the sidewalk. He must live close by.
Shaking off the odd interaction, I call Hope to let her know I’m picking up dinner. She seems lighter over the phone, so hopefully, she’s having a better day. I’ll have to think of other ways I can keep making her day better. It is one of my favorite things to do, after all.