41. Hope
41
HOPE
P ain.
It’s the only thing I can feel at this point. My entire body is burning with it.
Instead of dying on the side of the road, I was brought to the hospital. Turns out, I wasn’t hallucinating the car on the side of the road like I thought.
A man saw the crash and pulled over to help. The nurse told me I was rushed to the hospital, taken for scans, then immediately went into surgery when my lung collapsed.
That was four days ago.
Since surgery, I’ve been in and out of consciousness because of the pain. They’ve been heavily sedating me so I can heal. I’ve got cracked ribs, a fractured spine, faulty lungs, a broken collarbone, and a shoulder squarely back in place now.
My lungs have finally stabilized, so they’re working on reducing my pain medication. They need me to be lucid so I can answer some questions. I guess they called the police because my hands were zip-tied together, but I haven’t been awake long enough to give them any sort of information about what happened .
“Hope, the police are here. Are you ready to answer some questions?” my nurse, Jennifer, asks as she checks my blood pressure.
“I guess so. How much longer until my next round of meds?”
“About fifteen minutes.”
I groan. Fifteen minutes is going to feel like a year with how bad my body hurts.
Jennifer gently pats my arm. “I’ll send the officers in.”
About thirty seconds after she leaves, Cooper bursts into my room with another officer hot on his heels, their navy blue uniforms looking very official. “Fuck, Hope. Are you okay? I’ve been trying to get in to see you for days, but since I’m not family, they wouldn’t let me.”
Looking at Cooper is almost as painful as my physical injuries. He looks so much like Levi. God, what am I going to do without him?
Tears form in my eyes. I have to close them so they don’t fall. I can’t afford to fall apart right now. There are too many things I need to do before I’m allowed to break.
“What happened?” Cooper's voice makes me open my eyes again, but I don’t look at him. I can’t.
Keeping my eyes on the sheets covering my body, I tell Cooper what I can remember. “I was waiting on…” My words freeze in my throat. I can’t even say his name. “I was waiting to be picked up from the shop when Antony grabbed me. He forced me out the back door and to the car waiting in the alleyway.” Cooper grabs the chair in my room and sits. The other officer remains standing by the door.
“I tried to run, but he caught me and dragged me back to the car by my hair. When he shoved me in the backseat, he tied my hands to the headrest with zip ties. We drove to a house on the edge of town, where he packed up his stuff. He was only gone for maybe ten minutes, then we got on the highway .
“I had no idea where we were going, Antony didn’t say much to me after he grabbed me, but I knew I wouldn’t survive if we made it to the destination. He got a phone call while he was driving, which was enough of a distraction for me to release the zip tie from the headrest. Once my hands were free, I grabbed the emergency brake, which made Antony lose control of the car.
“I don’t remember much after that other than falling from the car once it had stopped moving. Then I woke up here.”
“Jesus, Hope.” I glance at Cooper as he runs his hands down his face. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
I stay silent. I should be used to life constantly letting me down at this point. It’s never once been kind to me.
“Antony survived the crash. He’s here in the hospital, healing before he goes to trial. We’ll try him for kidnapping and aggravated assault.”
“Will I have to testify?”
“More than likely, yes. Will that be okay?”
“Sure. Maybe this time, he’ll stay in prison.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” Steel laces through Cooper’s words.
Jennifer flounces into the room, her blonde ponytail bouncing around. She gives a quick glance to Cooper and the other officer whose name I never got, then turns to me. “Okay, Hope. Time for meds. You’ve also got a waiting room full of visitors here. Would it be okay if they came to say hello?”
“Sure,” I whisper as she finally administers my next dose. I don’t care who comes into my room at this point as long as the pain goes away. I close my eyes, hoping for the meds to kick in quickly. My hand is squeezed, then footsteps tap across the room.
Finally, silence.
As the meds kick in, my body relaxes, allowing me to drift off to sleep.
My dreams are almost as torturous as being awake .
Levi’s scent of cinnamon and home floats through my senses.
His voice echoes through my mind with words of love and apologies.
It’s almost unbearable because I know when I wake up, he won’t actually be here.
My eyes flicker open, and Jennifer’s smiling face comes into view. “Hey, sunshine.”
Her cheery demeanor has a small smile curling at my lips. I go to move my hand when I realize it’s being held. I look over and blink several times. “Jennifer, am I asleep? Am I really seeing who I think I’m seeing?”
“Oh, honey, he’s real. And I’m real jealous.”
Levi’s grin is a little lopsided with his swollen face. He’s sitting right next to me, clear as day, holding my hand.
“Hi, love.”
Tears fall so fast, I can barely see Levi anymore. “You’re alive?”
“Of course, I’m alive. I couldn’t let that bastard keep us apart.”
It’s then that I finally break.
Every fear, hurt, and heartbreak come pouring out as Levi’s arms wrap around me, pulling me into his hard chest. Surrounded by his strength, I let all my pieces fall. The ones I’ve been holding on to so tightly, afraid they’d shatter beyond repair if I let them go. I give them all to Levi as he holds me in his arms.
“You’re safe now. I’ll always keep you safe,” he whispers into my hair.
I’m not sure how long we stay embraced, it could’ve been minutes or hours, but eventually, I get myself together. Levi grabs the box of Kleenex on the rolling tray in my room, tipping it toward me. When I mop up my face, I groan at the aches in my body. While the prolonged hug was necessary for my mental health, it was not so great for my bruised and battered body.
“What happened to you? Antony told me you died.”
“He was definitely angry enough to kill me but obviously didn’t succeed. He beat the shit out of me with a crowbar. Broke several ribs, gave me a concussion, and broke my leg.” He holds up his leg encased in a cast. “Michael ended up finding me passed out on the floor. He’d left his phone at the house and called an ambulance when he realized what happened. If I had to guess, Antony’s goal was not to actually kill me but to make sure I was incapacitated so he’d have time to get you out of Sonoma. I don’t think he planned on anyone finding me until morning.”
“But you’re okay? You’re going to be okay?”
“Yes, love.” He kisses me again, settling the panic in my gut.
“I thought my world was going to end when he told me he killed you. I knew what evil he was capable of, so I believed him. There was a moment, in the car, when I thought it would be easier to give up. To let Antony do whatever he wanted to me because the love of my life was gone. I knew I would never find another person to share my life with because the one I wanted had died.
“Then a voice in my head said you’d be pissed at me for thinking that way, for being okay with giving up. That’s when I started planning my escape.”
“Fuck, Hope. You’re amazing. And I definitely would’ve been pissed at you.” Levi presses his forehead to mine. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I will forever be in awe of the incredible woman you are.”
A knock on the door interrupts our moment as a whole slew of people come into my room. Alice and Rob, as well as Quinn, Lucy, Sara, Natalie, and Megan. The girls crowd around my bed as Alice comes to my other side.
“Oh, my darling Hope. I’m so glad you’re okay.” She tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear, then gently squeezes my hand. Her fussing over me has tears burning behind my eyes. It’s been a long time since I was mothered.
“Not sure how long you’re going to be here, but I brought you one of my favorites just in case it takes a few days.” Sara grins, holding up a paperback book. Based on the handsome face on the cover, I think I’ll like it just fine.
They all want updates on how I’m doing and what happened with Antony. It sounds like Cooper filled them in on some of it but not everything. Their questions are overwhelming, but it’s surprisingly nice to have people worrying over me. I’ve been looking out for myself for so long that I forgot what this feels like.
When I start to get tired, Levi kicks everyone out of the room so I can rest. They all assure me they’ll be back tomorrow and that everything at the shop is being handled by Claire, Sam, and Alice. I’m more grateful for these people than I ever thought possible.
The minute the door closes, Levi presses his lips against mine in a beautifully tender kiss. All the tension of the past several days melts from my body. I didn’t think I’d ever get to have this again. This feeling of utter contentment. Now that I have it back, I’m determined to do whatever it takes to keep it.
Because I deserve this feeling. After everything, I deserve an all-consuming love. One where my partner is my equal, my confidant, and my best friend.
And Levi is all three.