Finding Her Strength (Sonoma #3)

43. Hope

43

HOPE

Q uinn’s car pulls into the driveway exactly an hour after Cooper called. Nerves pull at my muscles, making me clench my fists to keep them from shaking. This is the first time I’ll be leaving the safety of the house since I got out of the hospital a week ago.

I feel like a coward. It’s infuriating how much Antony’s attack truly affected me. I was so close to being the happy, carefree woman I’ve always wanted to be. Now, it feels as if I’ve gone so far backward, I’ll never be able to catch up again.

Levi says he’s seen so much growth in me in these past few days alone. I guess I should trust him when he says I’ll get there. It’s hard to see so far ahead when you’re stuck in the muck and mire of your trauma.

“Ready, love?” Levi asks from beside me.

I nod my head, knowing the words won’t move past the lump of fear in my throat. Levi holds his hand out to me, and I gladly take his offered comfort. He’s the best man I've ever known. I’m so grateful for his patience and constant love.

He lets go to crutch his way out the front door. I follow close behind, worried he’s going to fall over. The entire time he’s had these crutches, I’ve worried about him hurting himself even more. He has no patience for how slow he has to move with them, which usually leads to him pushing himself to do things he shouldn’t do. Like putting weight on his leg when he gets annoyed about holding the crutch.

“Hi, guys!” Quinn smiles big at me. The glint in her eyes has me frowning. Levi said they have a surprise for us, but I have no idea what it could possibly be.

“Hey, sis,” Levi says, leaning in to kiss Quinn on the cheek. I help Levi into the car, a scowl on his face the entire time. He hates needing my help to do things. Says he wants to be the one helping me instead. I usually kiss the scowl off his face, which always makes him smile.

Once I’m also in the car, Cooper drives us through town. It’s a beautiful, sunny day, the warm sunshine reminding me of all the life surrounding me. As we drive down Main Street, I vow to start living my life again. Even when I’m scared or my anxiety is overwhelming me, I want to remember how beautiful this life I’ve built for myself truly is.

“Why are we going to the house? I’m not going to be able to get around all the shit on the floor,” Levi grumps. That’s been another thing he’s struggled to deal with. He hasn’t been able to work on the house or any other project his company has lined up right now. It’ll be several more weeks before he’ll be able to get back to work, which is going to be interesting.

“Untwist your panties; you’ll be fine,” Cooper says. He pulls into the driveway of Levi’s beautiful Victorian home. I love this place. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed a home could be. I’ve secretly been dreaming of living in this house with Levi. Maybe even having a family here one day.

Everyone gets out of the car, Cooper helping Levi with his crutches. We walk up the sidewalk to the front door, Levi’s grumpy face in full force as he struggles up the front steps. He’s so freaking cute.

I try to hide my smile when he glances at me, but it’s too big to conceal. His scowl melts to a fake one as he glares at me.

“Are you laughing at your struggling boyfriend?”

“No,” I say innocently. “I’m laughing at your adorable scowling face.”

Levi’s laugh booms from his chest. Being the one to turn his annoyance into happiness makes me want to dance. I love getting to do those things for him. Even though they’re small, I feel as if it’s my way of thanking him for all the things he’s done for me.

Cooper opens the front door, then gestures for us to enter before him. The minute Levi and I step over the threshold, I gasp. I knew Levi was getting close to being done, but I had no idea it was finished.

I look over at Levi, who seems just as surprised as I am. “What the shit?”

Laughing, I take in the entire space. Glass French doors encase the office to the left and another set of French doors leads to the office on the right in the turret. The rest of the house is wide open to the family room, kitchen, and dining room. The whole place is gleaming with new paint, shiny wood floors, and beautiful light fixtures.

“With both of you laid up, we got your crew together and knocked out the remaining things on your list,” Cooper explains. “The whole company pulled together to get it all done in a week. It was crazy how many of your guys wanted to help. We ended up having to make a schedule because there would’ve been too many people here at the same time.”

Levi crutches his way across the room, staring at all the finished rooms. “I don't even know what to say,” he whispers.

“I know you would have preferred to finish it yourself, but knowing it was going to be weeks before you could get back here, we thought you’d rather it be finished.”

“Thanks, man,” Levi says to Cooper. They awkwardly hug around Levi’s crutches .

“I brought books for you to order furniture. We thought you guys would like to pick everything out yourself.” Quinn pulls several magazines from her purse.

“Give those to Hope so she can start picking out what she wants,” Levi says, looking at me with so many emotions.

“You want me to pick out the furniture?” I ask incredulously.

“Well, this will be your home, too, so yeah, you need to pick out what you want.”

“You want me to move in with you?” My voice is turning hysterical. I don’t even understand why. We’ve been living together for the past month, so it wouldn’t be any different. But this house was Levi’s dream. It’s a home for a family—his family. I may have fantasized about living here with him, but I never believed he’d actually want me to.

Levi steps toward me, his hand stroking down my face so lovingly and tender. “Of course, I want you to move in here with me. I want a future with you. A life, a family, everything, here, in the house we designed together.”

Tears stream down my face. “I want that, too, Levi. So, so much.”

“Good.” He leans in and whispers a kiss across my lips.

My whole life has been one heartbreak after another. I’ve never once felt like I was meant for anything more than surviving day-to-day.

Until I met Levi.

He’s shown me what it’s like to be loved unconditionally. What it’s like to feel as if I’m worth more than the nothing I’ve always been made to believe I am. He’s helped me see how much strength I hold on my own and how much stronger I am with people who love me standing by my side.

I’ll never be able to thank him for everything he’s done. All my previously held beliefs were shattered by his smile, his joy, and his love .

All I can do is love him with everything I have and hope it's enough to show him how much he means to me.