Finding Home

12. Aubrey

Chapter 12

Aubrey

“ H ey, Dad,” I say, as Caleb and I walk into my parents’ house to borrow Dad’s truck for our drive to Billings.

“Hey,” Dad replies. “The keys are on the hook.” He’s sitting on the couch with his leg up. In front of him, Raine sits with her dolls, stuffed animals, and plastic tea set strewn across the carpet. When she sees me, however, she gets up and bounds over.

“Hi, sweetie,” I say, scooping her up and giving her a squeeze. “Remember Mommy’s good friend, Caleb?” When I put her down, Raine clings to my legs and stares shyly up at Caleb’s towering, tattooed figure.

To his credit, Caleb crouches down low, all the way to Raine’s eye level, before greeting her softly with, “Hi, Rainey. I hope you’ll color with me again soon. You’re an excellent teacher.”

Raine shakes her head and digs her tiny fingers into my bare thigh.

“Okay, if you don’t want to color,” Caleb says quickly, “we can do anything else you want.” He motions to the toys on the carpet. “We could have a tea party, maybe?”

Raine looks up at me for reassurance and I express my encouragement.

“We pway bawn?” she squeaks out.

Caleb looks simultaneously elated and confused. Happy Raine’s addressed him, but baffled because he’s obviously got no idea what the heck she just said to him.

“You want to play bomb ?” Caleb asks, his brows cinched together. “Did Aubrey tell you my name is C-Bomb?” He gasps excitedly. “You want to play drums with me, Raine?”

Raine shakes her head and repeats herself in frustration, to no avail; so I finally decide to act as Raine’s interpreter, more to ease the poor girl’s frustration than Caleb’s obvious cluelessness.

“She wants you to play barn ,” I clarify. “As in, barn animals.”

“ Oooh, ” Caleb says. “Sure. Yes. Anything you want.” He cocks his head. “How, exactly, is that game played?”

Raine motions to the ground. “Get down.”

When Caleb looks at me, at a loss, I snicker and explain, “She’s commanding you to get down on your hands and knees, boy, and oink like a pig or moo like a cow for her pleasure.”

The look of repulsion on Caleb’s face makes both Dad and me cackle with laughter.

“You’re jerking my chain,” Caleb says.

“I’m not. If you prefer, you can bleat like a sheep or cock-a-doodle-doo like a rooster. Bonus points for oinking like a pig, though. Raine loves pigs the most, for some reason, even more than ducks.”

Dad chimes in, “Probably because I always sing her the little piggy song about her toes. ”

“That’s got to be it,” I agree. I return to Caleb with a grin. “How much do you want to bond with her, Caleb? It’s time to walk the walk, babe.”

“I tell you what,” Caleb says to Raine. “We’ll play barn at my house tonight. There’s a lake there, with a nice little shoreline, so maybe we can also play with your tea set and make cakes in the sand. My little sister, Miranda, used to love doing that when she was little.”

Caleb looks at me for reassurance, but I give him nothing. I’ve agreed to help him, yes; but I can’t do it for him. Sooner rather than later, if this man truly wants to become a father—a real daddy—then he’s going to have to learn to humble himself in all new ways.

“Pway bawn now ?” Raine asks, looking up at me.

I pat her head. “No, love. Caleb and I have to go shopping now, while you stay here with Pop-Pop. But guess what we can do after we come back? Feed ducks at Caleb’s house. ”

Raine gasps. “ Duckies ?”

“I saw some on the lake this morning, so we’ll be sure to bring duck food for them, when we go back there tonight.”

Raine’s suddenly all-in, and Caleb looks relieved and grateful for my intervention.

We say our goodbyes to Dad, who insists on Caleb driving Big Betty throughout the entirety of his stay in Prairie Springs. “I can’t drive for several months,” Dad says. “No need for you to keep paying for a rental car.” Dad says he’s got a buddy who works near the airport with his adult son, so returning Caleb’s rental car will be easy enough. And just like that, it’s settled. Caleb will be driving Big Betty for the foreseeable future.

After we grab the car keys off the hook, Caleb says goodbye to Raine, far too enthusiastically, and Raine reflexively cowers next to my father, rather than returning his enthusiastic sentiments.

“Shit, I suck at this,” Caleb murmurs, as the screen door thwaps behind us.

“She’s just really shy.”

“Hey, guys!” Dad yells from inside. “Come back in here! Raine wants to say something to Caleb!”

We barrel back inside, wide-eyed, and stare expectantly at Raine.

“Go on, cutie pie,” Dad prompts. “Say, ‘Bye-bye, Caleb,’ like you just did. Only a little louder this time.”

“Bye-bye, Coobie,” Raine says, so quietly, we almost miss it; but based on Caleb’s over-the-top reaction, she might as well have just screamed the words, thrown her little arms around Caleb’s neck, and laid a big fat kiss on his bearded cheek.

“Bye-bye, Rainey,” Caleb chokes out with a tight little wave. “See you later. Can’t wait to feed those duckies with you.”

“Come on, Coobie,” I say, pulling on him. “She can smell the desperation on you.”

We head outside again.

“ Desperation ?” Caleb asks.

“Yes.”

He scoffs. “In the beginning, I didn’t try hard enough, and now I’m too desperate?”

“Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.”

“Seriously, I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do here.”

“Just, you know, be yourself and keep showing up. I know you want this, but you can’t act like you’re desperate for her to like you, or she’ll sniff it on you and get the ick. ”

Caleb exhales. “I am desperate for her to like me, though.”

We stop in front of Dad’s truck and he motions to the keys in my hand.

“Can I drive?”

“Please do. I hate driving.” I toss him the keys and walk around to the passenger side.

“Seriously, Aubrey. Tell me exactly what I’m supposed to do here.”

“Just show your authentic personality a bit more, or else she’ll know you’re kissing her little ass and she won’t respect you.”

“She’s two .”

“Which is old enough to lose respect for you, if you kiss her ass.”

We slide into our respective seats, with Caleb sighing and exhaling in frustration.

When we’re both situated, he grumbles, “The truth is, the most authentic version of me is desperate for Raine to like me.”

It’s the most vulnerable he’s looked in my presence. Feeling a touch of compassion for his plight, I pat his tattooed forearm. “I know, Coobie. I’m sure you feel like you’re between a rock and a hard place.”

He nods. “Time is ticking. The hearing’s in a month.”

“I know, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Keep showing up and being yourself, as best you can, and soon, she won’t be able to resist you.”

The vulnerability he displayed a moment ago evaporates, replaced by swagger. “Tell me, babysitter,” he says, his tone flirtatious. “Does that same strategy work on big girls, too?”

I roll my eyes. “Just drive, Coobie. It takes an hour to get to Billings, and that’s the maximum amount of time I can sit next to you in a locked car without giving in to the impulse to strangle you to death.”

Caleb chuckles. “You know the expression, ‘The lady doth protest too much?’ That’s you, Aubbey .”

“You know the expression, ‘Shut the fuck up and drive, motherfucker?’ That’s you, Coobie .”

He guffaws. “That’s no way to talk to your boss, Miss Capshaw.”

“You’re not my boss. You’re my . . . what’s the name for someone I’m required to watch over?”

“Your hostage?”

“My ward . You’re my ward, and I’m your guardian. We’re emphatically not boss and employee.”

“No? I’m paying for services rendered.”

“If you paid someone to give you piano lessons, would they be your employee? No, they’d be your teacher . That’s me, except I’m giving you Raine lessons. Becoming-a-good-daddy lessons. Being-a-good-and-responsible-person-instead-of-an-entitled-rockstar-manc-child lessons.”

To my surprise, Caleb cracks up again. “Glad to hear it. That’s a huge relief, honestly.”

I turn to look at him, confused. I just insulted the man, after all. Why isn’t he mad at me? “What’s a relief?”

“That you don’t consider me to be your boss.” He flashes a wicked grin. “I’m pretty sure it’s a no-no for a boss to want to fuck his employee, after all.”

My jaw hangs open as my cheeks burst into flames. “In your dreams, Coobie.”

“Yeah, literally, in my case.” He winks. “Last night, as a matter of fact.” He leans toward me. “Want to hear about my sex dream? It was scorching hot and about you .”

Holy shit . Does this mean Caleb saw me when I barged in on him, stroking his dick and groaning out my name? Or is it pure coincidence he’s bringing up having a sex dream about me now?

I scoff. “No, I don’t want to hear about that, even a little bit.” It’s a bald-faced lie, but a necessary one. No matter what, I’m determined not to give in to my shocking, detestable impulse to tackle this man and do every imaginable thing with the hard dick I witnessed him stroking this morning.

He winks. “Okay, well, if that changes, let me know.”

“It won’t.” I’ve said that with more confidence than I feel, but there’s no way I’m going to let this egomaniac know his magnetism is working on me. I motion to the dangling keys in the ignition. “Are you going to drive us to Billings, or am I going to spend the rest of the day, sitting in my parents’ driveway, trying my damnedest to overcome the urge to strangle you?”

With another chuckle, one that makes me feel certain Caleb knows his charisma is working its magic on me, Caleb turns the ignition and pulls out of my parents’ driveway. And the moment we break eye contact and I’m no longer required to maintain the mask of disdain I’ve been wearing throughout this entire back and forth, I turn toward the passenger-side window and let loose the beaming smile I’ve been holding back through sheer force of will—the grin that’s been threatening to break free, ever since Caleb admitted he thinks of himself as a boss who wants to fuck his employee .